View Full Version : Having a breakdown
06-20-2007, 11:34 AM
:sad1: Total meltdown time. I don't know if we'll be able to go to Disney this year afterall.:sad1: :sad1: . My former spouse (commonly referred to nowadays as "sperm donor" among the kinder things) is sooooo delinquent in support payments it's not funny :scared: . I have 2 months to go as of today which makes it all the more harder (is that English :confused3 ) to make the decision to cancel. Plus, because we're going, another family decided to join us which would have been a blast:banana: :wizard: because they have kids my kids age. So, I'm an unhappy WDW wannago today. I'm between a rock and a hard place.
06-20-2007, 11:38 AM
I know what you mean. Of course I didn't plan and have no money bills are due, car is due for inspection, but the house is paid for and the so are the airline tickets, lol.
06-20-2007, 12:06 PM
I just wanted to send you a :hug: and hope everything works out.
06-20-2007, 01:01 PM
Get goin' girl...
Take those kids on VACATION!!!
If "sperm donor" never sees the kids- maybe they need a little time to have happy thoughts. (not to mention you)
My ex is now up to $29000.00 in back child support, and I just brought my children to Disney last year. I had to put some of it on Credit Cards, but the memories I have will last forever!!!
06-20-2007, 01:27 PM
I've been where you are and I just wanted to send a:grouphug:
06-20-2007, 02:39 PM
I am a child of divorced parents. So, I understand what you are going through from the young eyes of your kids.
If there is any way that you can still take them to WDW - TRY! I know it is stressful. I remember not having everything that everyone else had but the best lasting memories are those that we spent with our Mother traveling some where. Whether it was in the car to go camping or to an amazing place like WDW - we were together and that was all that mattered.
I know you want to take them to WDW. So, if there is any way that you could cut back on other areas to be able to pay off your balance prior to your 45 days out. Credit cards help to delay the payment but then you still have to pay it back - smaller payments over more time. I do not want to assume your financial situation. I am just trying to give you support.
Your kids really do understand the sacrifices that you make for them. They may not show it now but they will later. :hug:
Best of luck ---
06-20-2007, 07:56 PM
It might be to late but can you talk to someone about having your child support taken out of his check (if he even works). If so they would pay you more till he gets caught up. You might be able to talk to the child support office in your area :confused3 . That is what my girlfriend had to do to start getting her money from her ex.
06-21-2007, 01:34 AM
The Chase Disney Visa card lets you put your booked vacation on the card interest free for 6 months! You could get the card, wait till close to the 45 day mark and put the remaining balance on the card. Then you will have 6 more months interest free to finish paying it off.;)
Good luck to you! I sure hope you and the kiddo's get to go.:goodvibes
06-21-2007, 02:22 AM
[/COLOR]"]:grouphug: I hope everything goes well.
06-21-2007, 08:21 AM
:hug: I've also been where you are. I'm since remarried but my mother/daughter trip after the divorce was and still is my favorite WDW vacation ever! It holds such awesome memories for me. My daughter was probably too young to remember but I have photos and the precious memories. So if the time isn't right where your WDW vacation isn't going to be a celebration or filled with worry or stress, wait. Your time will come and you can go worry free and have the time of your life! WDW will always be there waiting!
Hang in there! Things will get better!:goodvibes
06-21-2007, 08:29 AM
I agree that maybe you need to look into having his paychecks garnished. I dont know when your trip is but could raise some money by having a garage sale. Can you change any details so that your trip could be cheaper, like trying to get cheaper airfare or getting a value resort room.
Dont have much more in the advice dept :grouphug: good luck!
06-21-2007, 09:11 AM
Aaawww thanks guys! :love: Regarding our trip I already have the airfare paid for as well as one night's room (we got the DDP for 4 days so I had to pay one night's room in advance, go figure :confused3 ) so I have a good amount down on the trip already. And believe me, when the time comes to pay the balance, the mushroom cloud you'll be seeing on the horizon would be my credit card going up in smoke (Disney card, of course, I have the Tinkerbell one, but should have gotten the Big 5 because right now my life is too friggin goofy to be believed) :lmao: . I also have some cash tucked aside to put towards our non-DDP meals, and I'll be tucking more aside so that they're all paid for. popcorn:: . So I'm fairly well along with the planning and paying part.
I know that not going to Disney - or on any vacation, period - is definitely NOT a traumatic experience. It would be a disappointment, but certainly not the end of the world. I just get soooo frustrated with the ex that I could rip my hair out. He's supposed to pay support through probation, and probation sucks at their record keeping, as it were, to see who's behind and who isn't. Last year he was behind over 5k. I'm lucky to be able to support my kids on my own, which includes tuition at a parochial high school which is supposed to be half paid by my ex. AAARRRGGGHHH, hisssssss, and a pox on him.
I don't know, sometimes I think I need some serious alchohol instead of a vacation, and I'm not a drinker!!!:dance3: And the REAL kick in the *** is -HE'S ON VACATION AS I SIT HERE AND FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF!!!! :scared: So now I'll go and have a nice cup of Kona coffee :coffee: .
Thanks again, guys, you're all great :grouphug: :love: !!
06-21-2007, 09:52 AM
:hug: to you!! I too am the child of a delinquent dad so I can certainly relate to how your kids may be feeling about all of this.
I just wanted to add that some of the B-E-S-T memories I have are the trips my mom and two sisters took. I don't remember the clothes or the toys but I remember the trips and bonding experiences and memories we made. :goodvibes
If I were you, I'd head on over to the budget board and get some money saving/making ideas from the good folks over there. Money saved here on whatever (groceries, utilities etc., etc.) is more money to use there. :thumbsup2
And the REAL kick in the *** is -HE'S ON VACATION AS I SIT HERE AND FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF!!!! This just burns me up :furious: because I can remember how my mom STRUGGLED to make ends meet for us sometimes! We would litterally bring sodas with us and scrape together change just for a night out at Burger King (things were very tight sometimes) but my dad would have his new honey (and there were several of them) on a nice vacation somewhere or take her out to expensive restaurants!! And we kids saw it! Hell, we lived it!!
And here's the kicker. . . (sorry to get off topic but your topic hits so close to home) now I'm 30 something and my sis's are upper 20 somethings. Dad is now 50 something and guess what?? He's come to the realization and revelation that we didn't stay little and we wouldn't always be there!! AND now he wants to have a relationship with us. I mean, it's not like we didnt' see him when we were little, he'd be in and out if it were convenient for him but now he wants to call, come over, come visit all the time. I'm a little more forgiving than my sisters because at least now he's making an effort and has apologized and cried but it's not always easy. Oh, and on top of that, he's an alcoholic which makes it just a bit tougher.
Hang in there and thanks for letting me vent. :hug:
06-21-2007, 02:33 PM
I've come to a monumental decision :wizard: - WE'RE GOING!! :banana: The kids and I are looking forward to this and my son is so cute doing all the planning with me :hug: that I'd feel really rotten to cancel. :headache: The cutie even went out and bought his own notebook to jot down our plans!!:love:
I called the Child Support department today and learned that he's further behind than I thought AS WELL AS being delinquent on the school payments. THAT'S why I'm so cash crunched :mad: :scared1: . And to think of him off on vacation having a good time :headache: :mad: - I hope he gets 4 flats!!! :banana: :banana::dance3:
The kids don't know anything about the financial irresponsibility of their father and I don't intend to tell them. :sad2: It's probably stupid not to, but they have a fairly decent relationship with him and I'm not going to put them in the middle, I just don't think it's right. I WAS going to have him arrested tomorrow when he got home but I can't do that to the kids, either. But I did one better - got probation after him and they're sending a nice little warning letter in today's mail pirate: . Sooooo, not only will he have to catch up within a month's time, but he'll also have to pay interest. :rolleyes: Oh weeelll!!
Thanks for letting me vent, guys, you've been a TREMENDOUS help :love: :love: . I will keep you posted:grouphug: . 59 more days and counting popcorn:: popcorn:: popcorn:: !!!
06-21-2007, 04:27 PM
I know how you feel. My dd's dad was awful about paying. Our first trip to the world I actually had a yard sale the weekend we went so I had some spending money. I remember going to the bank right at noon to change over the money I had already made into travelers checks. We left that Sunday on Mothers Day. It was a great trip and I wouldn't change a thing. Go have fun make memories.
06-22-2007, 07:59 AM
I am soooo glad to hear you are going!!!
Leave all the bad stuff at home, and go have a GREAT time!!!
Bring lots of film and post all the pics here for us to see.
06-22-2007, 12:07 PM
Thanks, everyone! :grouphug: My DD princess: and DS pirate: were just telling me that they're looking forward to our August trip. :yay: :yay: I really would feel like a dirty, rotten you-know-what if I canceled :eek: so I'm glad I didn't. And don't worry about a TR and piccies - the day we get back is the day you'll be inundated :dance3: :dance3: :dance3: Love you guys!!:love:
Jill in Chicago
06-22-2007, 01:32 PM
I am so glad you are going! This is very important to you and the kids.
06-23-2007, 01:01 PM
Very glad that you are going! I'm sure you and the kids will have a wonderful and magical time...I think it's so cute that your son is helping you plan (reminds me of how I was when I was a kid, getting ready to go to WDW)!
06-23-2007, 01:54 PM
That's wonderful you decided to go for it!! They will remember it forever... :thumbsup2
06-25-2007, 11:26 AM
Have a great time. At least one of you is thinking about the kids. I have a friend going through the same thing. I can't believe how some parents don't think about putting food on the table.
Bring him to Judge Judy and she'll shame him before the country. Love JJ.
what's with the verification thing all of a sudden?
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