Coworker vent--wanting us to rearrange our vacation

[delilah]

We are planning to go the WDW in May. We are leaving Sunday of Memorial Day weekend. My son gets out of school at noon on Friday. My niece is making her first Communion and Confirmation the next Monday, so, we were planning to return the next Tuesday, June 5. (I am her sponsor for Confirmation, and that paperwork needed to be filed by February 28, so cancelling out on her is not an option). My brother and his family will be vacationing with us. We have two studios at BCV reserved for Sunday through Thursday. We'll be heading to Ft Myers probably on Sunday, and staying at my brothers house until after the Confirmation. Sounds like a really fun trip. I made the reservations for the DVC last July, the first day I was able to do so. This is because my brother is a Florida resident, and they usually have a Florida pass that blocks out the summer from about June 11 to the end of August, as I recall (we live in Indiana). We have joined them in WDW in this way for the past several years, usually right after school is out here, and before the block out period for the Florida residents.

So, clearly, I made my vacations plans first.

So, what's the problem? I am one doctor in a six physician practice. I make up the call schedule for the group. Now, as it turns out, two other doctors also made vacation plans for the same week as I have. To add interest to the mix, a fourth doctor has a son who won the Indiana spelling bee, and is going to compete in the national spelling bee, which is during the week after Memorial day. As luck would have it, he is on call Memorial day weekend, and he wanted me to trade call with him so he could go to Washington DC to see the spelling bee. I have done some checking, and the spelling bee is not on Memorial Day, it is the Wednesday after Memorial Day.

Now, I think it is a really cool thing that his son won the spelling bee. If I were in town that weekend, I would trade in a minute. But, I think it is a bit unreasonable to ask me to change my vacation plans to accomodate his schedule. Furthermore, the two doctors remaining are a married couple. What if they have some type of family crisis? This happened to me in February, when I was the only doctor in town, and my son became sick with the flu.

I told the other doctor that he would need to negotiate with the other doctors about whether one of them could change call with him. I discussed the situation with my husband, and he is not at all receptive to rearranging our plans. I told the other doctor that at the very least, I wouldn't consider it unless I were compensated for any expenses associated with the change--the change associated with an non-refundable airfare, for one thing, the difference in airfare now, versus sometime in the future, the value of my DVC points that might expire between now and when I could use them. I discussed with my office manager, who basically agreed with me. I am just not sure why everybody needs to be off at the same time (an existential concern, not one that be resolved).

[seashoreCM]

1. (KISS) Stand pat.

2. Offer the co-worker and the company the choice of rescheduling your trip for you in a manner that is transparent other than for the dates.

3. What did the other two with Memorial Day vacations say when the co-worker asked them?

Disney hints: http://members.aol.com/ajaynejr/disney.htm

[labst60]

In 2004, I rearranged my vacation schedule for a coworker- we had a big deadline and a problem and he made it seem like I HAD to be there to help the team solve the problem - even though I had this vacation planned for MONTHS and the entire team was aware (before the deadline even came into play) (he wasn't my boss, but had a bit more experience and the deadline was ultimately his responsibility). I cut the vacation short and came home earlier than DH and I had planned.

Turns out, he thought I HAD to be there because HE went on vacation and didn't really tell anyone else on the team (including the partner until the very last minute). I was LIVID - the was out MORE days than I planned to be.

The kicker, about 6 weeks later, DH and I found out we were expecting our first child. Great news, but I'm still bitter about cutting our "last vacation alone" short. The deadline? It came and went - There were some probems, the client dragged their feet and the project didn't get done for 5 months!!!!

My point - who knows what life is going to bring - if you had this vacation planned and it is very important to you and your family, you should stand your ground.

Our project was very important to our firm and the clients (and we wanted to get it done before the public/press got wind since it was kind of a complicated situation), but I realize it is probably different when you are a doctor and people are counting on you in that respect.

[momof5boys]

One sentence in your post stood out. "I make the call schedule" Sounds like no one told you about their plans in a timely fashion. Guess they are out of luck. Maybe next year they can choose their vacation time first? You don't have doctors from other practices ever cover for you? I say hold your ground and have a great vacation! :thumbsup2

[fan_of_small_world]

What I don't quite understand is that, if the spelling bee is on Wednesday, why is the on-call schedule for Memorial Day weekend a problem? Or did you mean to say "Memorial Day week?"

Also, I would think that it would be unlikely that of the married couple, both of them would be unable to be on call. If one of their children is sick, one can take care of the child and the other would be able to be on call. If it's a major concern to you, though, you could limit the amount of time of having only them available by telling the other doc to fly out the morning of the bee and come home that night.

[powellrj]

ok, I maybe the only one to feel this way, but there is no way I could go on a trip knowing that a co worker was missing a once in a life time event. I am sure that there are events leading up to the spelling bee that they need to be there for. I am sure there are awards banquets and meetings with your congressman kind of things.

While I understand how you feel, put yourself in their position. This isn't something that they planned or had any control over. Its a once in a lifetime event that only 50 kids in the whole country get to attend. ITS A BIG DEAL! It will be on TV. The winner meets the President. If the child won and the father had to miss all of this because I wouldn't give up a couple of days of vacation, I would feel really bad.

[meandtheguys2]

You aren't the only person who could take call, right? It isn't your issue. My opinion, of course.

[fan_of_small_world]

I am sure that there are events leading up to the spelling bee that they need to be there for. I am sure there are awards banquets and meetings with your congressman kind of things.

You're right - I didn't realize that there would be events in addition to the bee.

I still don't understand why the married couple can't take care of the on-call duty? If only one person was left, I'd certainly understand the need for a back-up. But there are two people, so I don't see why that's a problem.

[daisyduck123]

If you make the call schedule & the others didn't check with you first, well then tough....one of them needs to be there.

[Mickey'sMainMami]

If there are six doctors, certainly the other 4 could cover you and this gentleman for his son's spelling bee. For them to make you come back from your vacation when you obviously had it planned before everyone else, then they shouldn't ask you to change/spend money to make arraingements to come back early. If you were just taking time off for a much needed break and just doing day trips/or hanging out at your house, then I could see them asking to switch, but for them to ask you to change plane reservations is ridiculous.

[seashoreCM]

>>> [I] make the call schedule ...

That is merely a clerical task that somebody has to do and anybody could probably do and maybe you folks rotated that task each year. Each person has equal responsibility to make requests in timely fashion. The fact you were saddled with that task does not mean you have to make sacrifices in response to last minute changes.

>>> put yourself in their position ... because [I] wouldn't give up ...

It does not make sense to make you spend or waste or lose money to make possible their once in a lifetime event. Or, why would they not be willing to shell out or spend the same amount of money instead as part of their costs needed to make possible their once in a lifetime event namely rescheduling a co-worker to cover for them if needed? *

* Lengthy discussion for double majors in English and business; others can accept it at face value.

[Merriwind]

So, clearly, I made my vacations plans first.

Now, I think it is a really cool thing that his son won the spelling bee. If I were in town that weekend, I would trade in a minute. But, I think it is a bit unreasonable to ask me to change my vacation plans to accomodate his schedule.

I told the other doctor that he would need to negotiate with the other doctors about whether one of them could change call with him.

To me, these are the salient points of your argument. You were first. Ordinarily, you would be happy to switch, but a confirmation is a once in a lifetime event too. There are other doctors available. Good luck!

[delilah]

ok, I maybe the only one to feel this way, but there is no way I could go on a trip knowing that a co worker was missing a once in a life time event. I am sure that there are events leading up to the spelling bee that they need to be there for. I am sure there are awards banquets and meetings with your congressman kind of things.

While I understand how you feel, put yourself in their position. This isn't something that they planned or had any control over. Its a once in a lifetime event that only 50 kids in the whole country get to attend. ITS A BIG DEAL! It will be on TV. The winner meets the President. If the child won and the father had to miss all of this because I wouldn't give up a couple of days of vacation, I would feel really bad.
a
I agree with this. But, as somebody else pointed out, first Communion and Confirmation are also once in a lifetime events, like, ideally, weddings. This is really the only time I would be able to take a vacation with my brother and his family this year. This is because they live in Florida. As a pointed out in my earlier post, they have the Florida seasonal annual pass, which blocks out almost the entire summer, beginning about June 10 or so. I am not one to take my son out of school for WDW, and the Florida pass blocks out Thanksgiving, Christmas and spring break season as well. Yes, we could go a different time during the summer without my brother's family, but, that was why scheduled the vacation for when we did. We'd like to spend some time with our family. My niece's First Communion and Confirmation are on June 5. I could get into an interesting debate about whether I think it is more significant to shake hands with the president or to meet the bishop of my brother's diocese. This is a big deal, too, for our family. People vary in what they consider important. My niece has been attending classes for the past academic year to prepare for her sacraments, and to leave her high and dry at this point without a sponsor is unacceptable to me. Also, my brother has been planning the vacation with us for the past year. I can't imagine calling him and telling him that we need to cancel the vacation this year.

On the other hand, things have a way of working out. Somebody else has consented to changing holiday call with him, so, he is attending his son's event. The couple, unfortunately, will be the only doctors for our group in town that week, which was another concern of mine (having been one of only two in town during the last week of February). I can pray that we won't be as swamped during the last week of May as we were in February, which historically has been the case. I am glad the situation is resolved.

[Merriwind]

Glad it's worked out. Enjoy your trip. Don't worry about the two docs on call--they will be fine. They must be used to working crises out together by now! ;D