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Mackey Mouse
01-21-2007, 05:31 AM
Our doctor in Boston, the head of the department, who has been with my husband since the beginning of this battle..

What do you think here??? Do you think it would be the least he could do to make a phonecall to see how Tom is doing since we switched our treatment down here???? Not a word, what happened to following your patient a bit, a little kindness.. do you have any idea what it would mean to my husband to hear from him...

Nothing.. not a word and we are heading up to scan in Boston and see him. I am dismayed over it and may say something about it to him. What do I care what he thinks of me....he could just pick up the phone once... just once and say how are you doing??? I know you are coming to Boston for scans, I will see you then, but how are doing??

Maybe I am wrong to feel this way, but if you have a patient in the battle for his life, you could not take 5 min to check on him.....This doctor was the one who suggested to Tom if the ride was too much for him for chemo to have the chemo where we lived and have the scans in Boston.. he is also the one who recommended the oncologist....we thought he was looking out for Tom's interest in those suggestions, but it has been almost 2 months.. not a word..

teacups
01-21-2007, 07:41 AM
Mackey, your post made me so sad. It took me straight back three years ago to when my brother had cancer. I wont go into that now... but I totally understand how you feel, and I do agree that you have every right to feel that way. I think doctors MUST detach themselves in order to keep going in this career... I understand that in my head, but not in my heart. You begin to feel alone in this really fast and that support or caring would be appreciated, I know. I wish I could send you some comfort, that arm to lean on at appoinments, that ear to tell it all to.... my words here can not do much, but please know that there are people who want to help. If you ever want or need to scream or cry, you can tell me and Ill listen and care.
That doctor probably really does care... just hasnt or cant act on it.
I want to tell you this, even though it may be hard to hear, I know it is hard for me to type... I requested copies of my brothers medical chart. I dont know why I did it, but I did. I read them front to back, and there was TRUE COMPASSION in the Doctor's hand written notes.
May God look down today and send a blessing to your husband and to your heart. Hang in there, today may be the turning point!

Fan2CSkr
01-21-2007, 08:10 PM
You are totally and completely justified in your feelings. I would absolutely share with this Doctor how it would make your husband feel to hear from him and check in on him. I would remain confident that this Doctor did and continues to look out for Tom's best interests, sometimes they need a gentle reminder.

A doctor needs a lot of human qualities in order to treat his patients properly. Respect, kindness, compassion, an ability to listen, and patience are just a few that come to mind. Sometimes these qualities are missing or lost momentarily but hopefully that are regained and remembered. Sometimes they need to be reminded.

You and Tom are in my prayers and have been since I started reading your posts. Please keep sharing your stories they help so many. The love you show and share here is so inspirational and it shines through in each and every one of your posts. :hug:

TruBlu
01-21-2007, 09:10 PM
When do you see this doc again?

I think I would call his office (don't tell Tom that you did), and strongly suggest that they give him a call. I would tell his nurse exactly what you have written here about how it would encourage Tom, and ask him/her to speak with the doctor. All he can do is not call, and what have you lost if he doesn't, but what have you gained if he does :)??? Anything that makes Tom feel better is worth a try!

You are both on my prayer list. I think of you often. I lost a friend to this monster back in July, so I can't wait for Tom to beat it!!! When he is NED we can all meet in Disney (Avery too) and CELEBRATE!:dance3: