Child-free, but not by choice?

[Nennie]

Hello All!

I was just wondering if there were any other couples out there that were dealing with infertility, or the loss of a child, that also love Disney as much as we do.

We have been trying to have a baby for 3 years, and have been treating with a RE. We did get pregnant twice, but lost one to an ectopic pregnancy, and our second pregnancy resulted in our son was stillborn in August. We aren't giving up though, and will probably go back to the doctor this summer to try again.

Family and friends think we're nuts for going to Disney (we go 3 times a year), b/c of all the children. I admit that it's hard to see all the children laughing, playing, hugging the characters, etc. I burst into tears once, after sitting next to the cutest little boy on Soarin' and watching his reaction to the ride. I just have to believe that one day I'll have a child to share Disney with as well.

Just wondering if there was anyone else out there dealing with a similar situation, and wanted someone to chat with!

[heimlichfan]

Usually I don't post for comments, (only my own selfish questions!) but when I read your post it was like me speaking!

DH and I have been trying to have a baby for 3 years as well. At the beginning stages of our path of infertility we were told that we could never have a baby due to male factor infertility. Well we decided to see an RE anyways and have gone through 3 cycles of IVF/ICSI. The final try we had this past fall resulted in a singleton pregnancy (even though they put in four embryos - yikes!) which I unfortunately miscarried at 8 weeks. I CANNOT imagine experiencing the pain of an ectopic AND a stillborn baby. My heart aches for you and I admire the fact that you have not given up.

As for the Disney thing - it's my best cure, children and all! After we found out about the miscarriage my immediate thought was, "WDW as soon as possible." The children at the park thing rarely gets to me but that's probably because I'm a teacher (DH is a principal) and am around kids all day long. But I do know that WDW is a place that helps me feel better about anything - including this unbelievably hard road of infertility. I don't think it's strange at all that you and DH love WDW so much that you go there as often as you do - whatever helps you deal is the best thing that you do for yourself.

It was great reading a post from someone who lives the "Disney lifestyle" and is also going through something like me. Thanks! :wave2:

[Nennie]

WOW! We really have a lot in common outlook. I'm so very sorry to hear about your m/c. I can absolutely relate to planning a WDW trip after that. Everytime we've had a loss, or a failed cycle, we start thinking about our next visit to the Mouse.

Have you ever had anything left to freeze? We've only done 2 IVFs, but had poor quality embies, with nothing to freeze. Our two pregnancies were actually from IUIs, which surprised me (we don't have MF though, it's all me). Our current plan is to give it a few more tries (which will hopefully yield some success), and if that doesn't work, look into donor embryos.

I wish you all the luck in the world!!!! I just have to believe that we will oneday have little ones to share our Disney lifestyle with! I'm so glad that you posted, and that I'm not alone!!!

[aclov]

Hi there! Your not alone! I have been trying for 6 years and have done several IUI's (lost count) and one failed IVF. I'm waiting to do the next IVF later this month or in Feb. Ours is unexplained infertility and it's so difficult getting questioned constantly by everyone. I don't think people understand that for some it's difficult to conceive and automatically just assume that you don't have any children because you don't want them. When people ask me if I have kids and I tell them no, they usually ask "WHY?" Hmm....I usually say because I haven't been blessed yet or I have two dogs to keep me busy. Some people even get up the nerve to ask if everything is okay. I'm not talking about friends or family but coworkers or acquantainces. Our families and close friends know we are seeking treatment but other than that I really don't want to go into details with others. But I don't mind sharing with others like yourself who are going through the same struggle.

As for Disney, DH and I are DVC owners. I bought the year before we got married with the intention and excitement of going to WDW with our children. DH and I first experienced WDW as adults when were dating so we wanted our children to be more fortunate. Throughout the past years, we've gone to WDW with family and friends, and really enjoyed ourselves. Our last trip in August, DH said he wasn't going to any more parks until we have kids :sad1: He'll still go to the restaurants and other places in WDW and we have good friends that live in Orlando, but no more parks. On this last trip I ended up going to MK alone. So I guess if I want to take a trip to visit the parks, I'll go with my best friend who is also childless or my parents.

Thanks for starting this thread:goodvibes. Hopefully, others will respond. :)

[roxannex]

I'm so sorry. :( I do understand how you feel. Our first child was stillborn in December of 2004. I know the pain of that loss, although I have not had problems conceiving.

We went to Disney in May of 2005 when I was 8 weeks pregnant with our second child--who thankfully was born healthy in November of 2005. Looking back, it was probably a crazy thing to do. I was so terrified and there were kids everywhere, of course. I was not prepared for how many visibly pregnant women would be there! (I was very uncomfortable around pregnant women and small babies.) Silly. Of course there would be!

But we still did have a lot of fun. Disney really is such a happy place, and I think it's very romantic. We stayed at the Yacht Club, which had a more adult atmosphere.

My heart goes out to you. I really hope that you do get pregnant again and have a child to hold and love. :(

[TDS373X]

:grouphug: from someone who went down this road. We tried for 13 years problems on both sides. Finally decided and had saved enough $$ to give IVF a shot. I produced 5 eggs, 4 fertilized we put them all back (I had a choice to freeze 1 or 2). We at first ultrasound had twins by the next ultrasound I had lost 1. Thankfully I have an awesome daughter. Do whatever you need to do to make you feel good if it's Disney then do it. You can find children and pregnant women everywhere (especially it seems when it's all you want to be is a mom) infertility is a long, hard road it is important to take care of yourself not just physically but emotionally as well...DH and I went to WDW every year prior to our marriage and during and wanted this for our children sadly DH never got to share this with his daughter. My prayers are with the OP and everyone who is going down this road that you may one day be as blessed as I am. Hang in there and if you need that Disney break you just do it..ya never know you may just come back with that "lil souvineer"pixiedust:

[heimlichfan]

Nennie - No, we've never had anything left to freeze unfortunately. :sad2:

We have one more IVF try left under insurance which we are currently debating whether or not to use. DH is DONE with all of this stuff and ready to head to Korea (where we plan to adopt pending IVF decision) but I really feel I owe it to myself to use what I have been given. I know I do NOT want to be one of those people that do IVF 50,000 times and put huge strain on their marriage but I also don't want to be 45 years old someday and say "What if I had used that last cycle?"

As for the Disney part of the dealing and healing process... Can you think of a better place to restore your hope and faith???? :hyper:

[Nennie]

I'm so glad that we are not alone out there!!!

Aclov -- I'm a DVC owner too! We bought after we knew we were having problems, but before we did IVF. We were just hoping (and still are hoping) that we'd eventually have children to share DVC with. My heart breaks for you and your DH that he doesn't want to so the parks right now. I know where he is coming from, and I hope that I don't get to that point too. I also know what you mean about not wanting to share your struggle with people who haven't been through it. They just don't understand....and instead try to give tips, like "Relax" or "Eat pineapple!" Gee, thanks! I'm at DVC 3 times a year (Jan, May, Sept) so maybe we'll be at the same resort one of these days!

Roxanne - I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. I'm also very happy to hear that you now have a healthy child. Thanks so much for the kind words!

TDS - I am so happy to hear that you have a dd, and am sorry that you lost her twin. Thanks for the advice on taking care of myself. I don't know if I'll be able to bring home a lil souvenier (unless I bring my doctor to WDW, lol), but there's always that Disney magic!!

Heimlich - so sorry you had nothing to freeze. I swear I don't know who these people are that freeze 10-12 embies. I've never met them!! Disney is definitely the place to go to heal old wounds though. I'm just not one of those people that wants to go lay on a beach on some remote island and drown my sorrows away. I'd rather do it on Tower of Terror! LOL! Best of luck to you, in whatever path ultimately leads you to parenthood!

[dorazio8]

Would love to chat, I just sent you a PM.
Kim

[Claudia Kellenberger]

I am totally obsessed with WDW, and I have had 6 annual solo vacations. We will arrive at WDW on Jan 21st. This time DH is coming with me for only a day and a half, and I'm staying for 4 more nights.

We don't have children, we are an "older" couple.

I don't have any children, and it's only partly by choice. In 1976 I had a difficult pregnancy because I was vomiting at least 3 times every day, for 5 months. I was in hard labor 4 different hospital stays. In the end, she was born premature, 3 lbs. 4ozs. She only survived 3 days. Then in 1977 I had twin daughters, born premature, and only survived about an hour.

Even the specialists could not figure out exactly what was wrong with my body. I knew it could all happen like that again. I became more and more afraid of going through it all again. I waited five full years after the last pregnancy and I got my tubes tied. Yes - I gave up.
I am now 53 years old. I will miss my children every day of my life - but I do not regret getting my tubes tied. Due to the circumstances, it was the right thing to do.

Oddly enough, seeing all the children having a great time at WDW, makes me happy, and not sad.
Maybe that's because more time has passed.
I guess life really does go on.

[hematite153]

Thank you all for sharing your stories. We have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years but have only managed 1 chemical pregnancy that ended early. I've been feeling sad lately but I guess we've avoided a lot of pain as well. I'm not anywhere near ready to give up though. Good luck to all of you and thank you again for your willingness to share.

[Mischa]

Finally a thread for CNBCers! I think there are more of than we may even know...

My DH & I tried for 12+ years to conceive. We tried on our own, tried IUIs several times (with no success), we were going to try IVF until I was told my eggs were "too old" (gee that made me feel good) :eek: and we were going to try donor egg earlier last year.

We did find out a few medical reasons as to why we couldn't conceive on our own (my left tube had to be removed because it had twisted somehow) and my right ovary wasn't producing a good enough egg. :confused3

We (rather I) had to do a series of shots to get ready for donor egg and I guess my body didn't agree with the medicine and I ended up with pre-cancerous cells when they did the biopsy (to see the lining of my uterus). That totally freaked my RE because she said she (nor any of her partners) had seen someone who has never had any problems with their monthly cycles (you could set you clock to how regular I am!) :) I then had to take progesterine for 3 months and that worked to get rid of the cells. We tried it again and guess what? Same thing happened. :sad2: So after the progesterine again, DH and I discussed our option - our only option...no kids for us.

We've looked into adoption but because of the difference in our ages (and religions) most places won't even talk to us. And I'm sure there are other factors they would find - we decided not to go that route.

I guess our only hope would be if someone we know, knows someone who is pregnate and wants to give their baby up for adoption - and wanted us to adopt it. Part of me still hasn't given up I guess.

Meanwhile, DH & I became DVC members this past May (we had the same thought too - "oh we can bring our child"). We simply love Disney and look forward to enjoying each other more and Disney more too.

We took our last trip this past December, which was harder than we thought it would be. I guess because we made the decision that we would be childless (or rather the decision was made for us) it sort of hurt seeing all the families and kids enjoying themselves. Yet we are determined to get through these feelings! We don't want to shut ourselves off from kids - we love kids. Unfortunately, we don't have any kids around us. I'm an only child and DH has one nephew who is grown. Most of our friends who have children seem to have forgotten about us. We have only one couple we are friends with (and they don't have kids either).

We're planning our next trip to WDW for this May and I'm planning a girls' only weekend in November.

My wish for those of you who are still trying - that you do become pregnant and have a happy, healthy pregnancy and baby! But whether you do or not, remember to take care of you and your DH/partner. The whole process of trying to conceive and dealing with infertility can really take a tole on you both and on your relationship. Take time to care for one another!

Sorry for making this so long!
:grouphug:

[Claudia Kellenberger]

For me - I think the MAJOR difference was that my Brother and his 3 kids lived right in the same town that I did. They helped me so much !
And to this day - I am still close to them.

And to some of you .... Don't give up on the IVF.
There's people that I'm close to, although they live in another state. They went through 2 failed IVF. The 3rd one "took". In one pregnancy, they had 2 boys and 2 girls. They were all healthy!
This May they will turn 4 years old.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Our Infertility is actually what got our love of Disney started. I had been through 3 unsuccessful IUI's and I decided that on my vacation I would head to Orlando to see the African Infertility Status at Ripley's Believe It or Not Corporate Offices. I thought what better time to make my first trip to WDW. Ifelt like I had been to hell and back after all of the hormones and failed treatments and my husband was in California for the Army.

Thinking about Disney kinds keeps my mind off of not being able to have children. We have been trying since the day we got married in December 2001 and I have all but given up now. We exhausted what we had doing the IUI's and I can't go throught that again and eveything else required for IVF (like we can afford that), and I go back and forth with the adoption thing. I really want a biological child and again we can't afford to adopt. We can't get pregnant at all, and I'm not so sure that my RE gave me correct information. Because we were paying for treatment (insurance doesn't cover much) we got as little as he could possibly give and I don't think I got treated as well as women that had insurance or were rich.

I cry alot (not quite as much as I used to), my family(DH, DM) says they understand, but I know they don't. I still have moments when I reach my breaking point and I have to let everything out. I have gone off on a few women in public for mistreating their babies. I'm tired of being told to relax, I just want someone to understand. We don't have any kind of support groups in our area and I don't know where to reach out, Disney seemed to be my way out. I know there are alot of children there, but somehow, I just didn't seem to notice, I guess I was just caught up in the moment, and well, I had to look out for my mother and keep up with her (I'm overprotective).

Well enough rambling, it's time to go home.

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[Mischa]

Hi all,

Not sure if you all have seen/heard about this website called: www.childlessnotbychoice.com (http://www.childlessnotbychoice.com) I'm a member there and it's similar to this board but it deals with just about all aspects of being childless not by choice. My name on that board is luv2paint.

Sometimes it's hard to find a support group in your area and I love this website because not only are the people nice, but they understand how I feel! We've got "sections" for just about anything - still trying, not trying anymore...etc.

:grouphug:

[hmp2z]

I'm a teacher, and I see dozens of parentless kids each year go through my classes. It's difficult to see, and I hope that some of you might consider adoption. There are thousands of kids out there, many of them older (7+), who get paraded out at adoption fairs like dogs. They feel awful about it, and many of my students (I teach 7th grade) tell me that they know they'll never be adopted, because now they're older and not cute enough. Very, very sad. I know it takes a big heart to take an older child into your life, but they're out there, lonely, desperate for parents.

Just a thought.

Heather W

[hematite153]

I'm a teacher, and I see dozens of parentless kids each year go through my classes. It's difficult to see, and I hope that some of you might consider adoption. There are thousands of kids out there, many of them older (7+), who get paraded out at adoption fairs like dogs. They feel awful about it, and many of my students (I teach 7th grade) tell me that they know they'll never be adopted, because now they're older and not cute enough. Very, very sad. I know it takes a big heart to take an older child into your life, but they're out there, lonely, desperate for parents.


Believe me, if we get to the point of looking at adoption we will definitely look at older kids--we've talked about fostering as well. However, at this point I am still hoping for a biological child. We don't have adoption fairs around here though so I won't be looking at it from that approach.

[Nennie]

It just feels so great to know that we are not alone in this!!!

We were at WDW last week for a long weekend, and had a great time. I got my courage up, and I finally called the RE and made told the nurse that I’m ready to cycle again in late March/early April. We have our next trip planned at the end of May, so it will either be a celebration, or a cheer–me-up trip! Either way, I’ll need the getaway!

Claudia – Bravo to you for taking those solo trips! I’m so glad to hear that you are at peace with your decision, and enjoy seeing the children at WDW.

Hermatite – I’m so sorry to hear about your chemical, but am glad that you are not giving up! Best wishes to you!!

Mischa – Thanks so much for the link! I will definitely be checking out that website!! I participate in another TTC website, but there are also ladies there who already have children, and they don’t quite get that the pain of TTC your first child is different from that of trying for #2, 3, or 4. It’s funny that you mention the hope of someone you know, knowing someone who is pregnant, and offering to let you adopt their baby. That exact same thing just happened to my good friend about 6 months ago…now why doesn’t that kind of stuff ever happen to me? Also funny that so many of us our DVC members! Maybe with no kids, we’ve all got the extra cash to blow on Disney, huh!

Suzanne – I go back and forth with the adoption thing too. It scares me (both financially and emotionally) to go through all of that, and then have it fall through at the last minute. At this point, we are still trying for a biological child, but then our next step will be embryo adoption (yeah it’s a controversial topic, but I’ll do anything to have a child), and if neither of those work out, we’ll take the risk with traditional adoption (not sure if domestic or international though). So many decisions, it is quite overwhelming!

Heather – Thanks for the input. I can assure you that we are all aware that the possibility of adoption is out there. Please don’t think any of us selfish for not jumping into adoption right away. There are a multitude of factors to consider (emotional, financial, legal, etc), and I can assure you that adoption is not always as easy at it looks someone on the outside looking in.

Best Wishes to all of us!!!!

[hmp2z]

I can assure you that adoption is not always as easy at it looks someone on the outside looking in.


Believe me; I know adoption, especially adoption of an older child, is not easy at all. I teach those kids - I am fully aware of their issues! :) But I've also seen it from the other side: that of the kids. So many of them, and so sad and wistful - some of them even hoping still though they realize all the odds are against them.

Cheers!
Heather W

[GSD4ME]

My situation is a little bit different in that I never actually got to TRY to have kids of my own. About 12 years ago, I was diagnosed with a condition where, according to my doctor (and subsequent ones), the chances of me conceiving let alone carrying a child to term is about zero. Oh, and by the way, it's a pre-cancerous condition. (Thanks, Doc! Could you give me any more good news?!?!!?!??) The next year, I was diagnosed with a pretty serious case of endometriosis. At the time, I wasn't in a position to try IVF or adopt (I was married, but we ended up getting divorced - but not because of the kid issue . . . that's a story for an entirely different thread! ;) ).

It took a looooooong time for me to come to terms with not being able to have my own children, believe me - I love kids and was born to be a mom! Over time, I came to realize that although I would never have my own children, I could still have a positive impact on the lives of the children of my friends and family members. Then, 5 years ago, I got married to a wonderful man who has 2 children from a previous marriage. They live with their mom in another state from us, but I am pretty close to them. Even though they aren't my biological children, I still consider them "mine" (and my family treats them just as they do any of the other kids in our family). It's still not the same as having a biological child, but it's a close second for me! Also, I have my four-footed babies - 2 dogs and 2 cats (just look at my aviator and you can see my big monsters!).

My husband and I discussed adoption but, for a variety of reasons, decided against it. My husband's one comment still makes me laugh, though. He said that if we decided to adopt, we'd have to get rid of the cats. (WHAT!?!??!?! Ummmmm . . . Honey, don't you think the DOGS take up more of our time than the cats?) I was laughing so hard after he made that comment that I never did find out his reasoning behind it! :rotfl:

To those of you who are still going through treatments, I admire you and wish you all the best!!!

[mickey8888]

I can relate to what your feeling in away. Granted I've only been to Disney 2 (once in High School for Grad night) then last year with DH. In 2004 DH and I had our first child. He was born on Oct. 26,2004 he was several weeks early, we named in Dylan. He was a healthy premie. On December 6, 2004 we woke up in the middle of the night to feed Dylan and he wasn't breathing. Our baby passed away due to SIDS (Sudden Infant Death). He was in the dr. office aprox a week earlier and got a good bill of health. When we planned our trip to Disney it was mentioned about all the young children and how would it make us feel. We had a great time and can't wait to return to WDW. Sure we would be even more delighted to go with our own children but that doesn't seem possible at this time (no luck getting pregnet). Until that day comes were we are blessed with another bundle of joy I will go to WDW and be the Kid. We had a dinner at the Crystal Palace last year and there was a family behind us with 2 little kids (age 3 and 5). The little boy took right to me, he came over to me talking sharing his autograph book and telling me all about his trip. It was great. Then it was time for us to go and he was so upset he wanted to go with DH and I because we were "cool". That was great. If Disney makes you feel better then that's all that matters. I wish you all the best with getting pregnent in the near future. :love:

[DVCajun]

I can so relate to many of you on this thread!

I struggled with infertility for almost a decade before deciding to adopt. Now I kick myself for waiting to adopt -- I should have just gone with it from the beginning, but you know how it is .... it seems like you're giving up on the prospect of having a home grown child, like if you proceed with adoption you're putting up a sign that says, "I don't want to get pregnant." But let me tell you, I bonded with my oldest the moment he was born -- I was in the delivery room and it was beautiful. Don't believe the lie that you won't be able to love your adopted child as much as a home grown child -- it's just not true. Your own heart will tell you this, but what does your heart know -- it's never had a child either!

The blame for those poor children who have slipped through the cracks and are now "too old" to adopt ... that blame needs to be settled firmly on the shoulders of our social workers and judges who give the biological parents chance after chance to proove that they're losers as parents (ironically they'll put perfectly qualified, good hearted, honest potential adoptive couples through a long and rigorous scrutiny before approving *them* as parents -- what a ridiculous double standard they have) -- by the time they terminate the "rights" of their loser parents these children have emotional issues that are tough for the average person to take on. It's really unfair to the children. True, every case doesn't follow this scenerio, but soooo many do. Trust me, I'm educated to the point of nausea on this particular topic.

I think that those who have a heart for these older children should consider opening their own homes to them. Infertility isn't a prerequisite for adoption.

:)

[Mischa]

During the time we tried to have our own (biological) child we looked into adoption too.

It was even harder than trying to have our own! Due to the fact that DH & I have 15 years difference in our ages (and that we are not in the same religion, I'm Catholic and DH doesn't care what religion the child is brought up as, which didn't matter to any of the agencies we spoke with), we were given such a hard time. It was even more devestating than every month realizing I wasn't PG.

At the time DH & I were both working (now DH has "retired" and is at home) and I was told by a nun that if I wouldn't quit my job to stay home with my adopted child then I "didn't deserve to be a mother." :furious: I was so shocked and hurt - I actually called her a b*tch! How dare she judge me I told her! After that, and all the other road blocks we had, we decided that perhaps this wasn't the path God had intended for us. So we continued to pursue having our own child. And well, now I guess that wasn't what God intended for us either.

Adoption (for many folks) is not easy nor is it cheap. And they do give so many chances to the biological parents that the poor kids become victims and end up with emotional problems. It's so sad!

Ok...I'm off my soap box now. :scratchin

[PrincessSuzanne]

I agree completely, I have run into so many roadblocks just considering adoption. My husband and I both work, but if I had to quit to stay at home (which I would love to do) we couldn't survive. I make alot more money than my husband does, so we just can't do without me working. We have everything we need as well as a few luxuries, but we just can't afford IVF or adoption, so it looks like I have run out of options. My employer doesn't offer any adoption assistance except unpaid leave after you use up vacation, sick leave, PTO. I dn't think that is fair. Any woman going on Maternity leave can use her short term disability after she runs out of other leave, but adoption costs alot more than having your own child, and the states mandates that you take time off work after an adoption (AL is up to 60 days), they don't mandate maternity leave. An adopted child needs just as much attention and work as a child you have of your own. I have tried making suggestions, but it makes no difference. There aren't really any employers around here that offer adoption assistance. This is the South, they expect you to stay barefoot and pregnant all of the time (great stereotype HUH!)

Everyone says "you still have plenty of time", which I might, but I am 33 and I wan't to be able to enjoy my baby and I want to be around until they are grown. I used to kid my mother because she was 25 when I was born,so this makes me feel really old.

As far as adopting an older child, besides the many emotional problems, is that many of the children are severly handicapped, which doesn't bother me, but because I don't feel that I can give them what they need because I do work. So many of them need a full time stay at home parent and we just can't do that. I see what kind of care my cousin's Autistic (he is on the mild end of the spectrum) 4 year old needs and I can't give it. If I gave birth to a child that would be different, I wouldn't have a choice(I know that sounds horrible).

Right now I don't know where I want to be, I am going through one of my "numb" stages. About two weeks ago, I was ready to do whatever it took to adopt, but this week, I don't know where I am. The more reasearch I do, the more discouraged I get.

I go to see my GYN, on Valentine's day of all days, for my yearly exam, and I am going to ask her if I can try Metformin, this will be my last resort. I have some fibroids/cysts in my uterus, so I am going to talk to her about that, I believe they may be some of the problem. As I said before, the RE I saw wan't much interested in helping me since I'm not rich and my insurance doesn't pay much. My insurance pays for eveything up to the diagnosis for Infertility(real smart huh).

Off my soap box now, but if is great having someone to talk to who understands

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[DVCajun]

The topic of the expense of adoption has come up many times on this thread, but so far no one has mentioned the $10,000 tax credit available to adoptive families. A tax CREDIT is different than a deduction -- it's a dollar for dollar CREDIT that you get back from the IRS when you adopt. The total expense to adopt our second child was just over $11,000, which means that it was only $1,000 out of pocket for us.

Just something to think about.

[goldilocks_63]

"children who have slipped through the cracks and are now "too old" to adopt ... "
That's our DD-8.

We adopted our daughter - was three at the time. SHe was passed up several times for adoption due to a medical condition (now fixed. Took a year), and not being a baby.

Now everyone says how did we get such a beautiful child.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I too wish I had adopted sooner.

Once we relaxed our search criterea (any race, any age, any where in the world), it took less than a year to match.

I had trouble in the U.S., because I too am a working mom and many birth moms wanted stay at home MOms.

Anyone wanting any more info, PM or email me,

I've been thru both IVF, and adoption,

oh, and when we adopted the tax credit was only $5,000. ALso, many couples seeking financial help ask family / friends / church for assistance, and instead of xmas / b-day presents save up.

I've even seen funds raised by e-baying stuff to make room for the new child, and raise money.

Sorry to all of you going thru your pain. I used Disney as my refuge (before and after, and in-between miscarriages, and family deaths. But when I got DD, took her first to Disney even before home in Chicago.

GOldi

[Mischa]

We had the money for adoption and would have loved the tax credit but the agencies we spoke to wouldn't talk to us because there was more than 10 years different in our ages or we weren't the same religion (or whatever else they came up with).

I'm adopted (was adopted at age 2 with a heart defect and needed open heart surgery at age 7), so I'm all for adopting, but these agencies are just unbelievable!

some wanted us to do fostering but after what a friend of ours went through (fostering, promised only a kid they would be able to adopt, half way through the adoption the judge gave the child back to the birthparent - totally broke my friends' heart). I couldn't go through that. It's painful wanting kids and not being able to have them, but to go through that - I wouldn't be able to handle that!

[Nennie]

Sorry that this thread went off on a tangent about the pros and cons of adoption, as that was not my intent when I started this thread.

Rather, I was hoping that us child-free folks could commiserate, lean on each other, chat about TTCing, IF treatments, adoption (without making the sole focus whether or not we should all adopt), etc.

That being said...

Anyone cycling in the near future?

I have an appt. with the RE tommorrow night to talk about our next cycle. This will be the first time back at the RE since we lost our son, so I'm going to try my best not to get emotional during the appt. I'm hoping to cycle in late March/Early April. It's been a year since my last cycle, so I'm hoping they don't make me do a lot of re-testing, etc.

What does everyone else have on their plate?

[Nennie]

Suzanne -- I know what you mean about feeling older. I'm 33 too, and as each year ticks by, I feel it more than ever! I used to think I'd be done having kids by age 30, and now I'm hoping to be finished by age 40!

Mickey8888 -- HUGS to you! I'm so sorry for the loss of your child. Best of luck to you!

GSD4me -- I am glad that you are at peace with your decision, and you sound to be very happy. That's funny about the cats vs the dogs. DH says that our cats spoil us, b/c we can go away for the weekend and just lock them in the basement with their food/water and litter boxes, and we won't be able to do that with a baby! LOL!!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Sorry that this thread went off on a tangent about the pros and cons of adoption, as that was not my intent when I started this thread.

Rather, I was hoping that us child-free folks could commiserate, lean on each other, chat about TTCing, IF treatments, adoption (without making the sole focus whether or not we should all adopt), etc.

That being said...

Anyone cycling in the near future?

I have an appt. with the RE tommorrow night to talk about our next cycle. This will be the first time back at the RE since we lost our son, so I'm going to try my best not to get emotional during the appt. I'm hoping to cycle in late March/Early April. It's been a year since my last cycle, so I'm hoping they don't make me do a lot of re-testing, etc.

What does everyone else have on their plate?




Thank you, I thought we were running in the wrong direction.

I have completely given up on most everthing. I couldn't stand how cycling made me feel and my family couldn't stand to deal with me. I would get mean, but we have that right, after all look at what is being done to us, and look at what is being taken or shot into us. Since my mom didn't have problems conceiving me, she doesn't understand and my husband, well I just don't think he cares either way. He says as long as I am happy. What he really doesn't know is that I'm not happy and I don't know what it will take to make me happy.

I got married at 28 almost 29, so I knew that I would be an older mother, but I thought it would happen right away, but here I am 5 years later and no closer to having a baby than I was then. I will have given up long before I reach 40. I ust wish I knew how to deal with all of this and I wish people that haven't been where I am would shut up telling me what I need to do. :furious:

I wouldn't go back to the RE here if he was the last RE on earth, because I really believe he didn't do right by me and that is just wrong. I have considered going to India where IVF run only about $3,000 to $5,000 per cycle and that includes eveything, you just have to bring your sample with you, but since I don't have that kind of money and I don't fly, I won't be going to India.

On my plate for this weekend is a trip to Savannah for my mother's birthday, she wants to eat at Paula Deen's Restaurant, The Lady and Sons, so I am taking her, and my husband, and my 8 year old cousin.

Nennie, good luck with your next cycle, and you will be in my thoughts. Keep us updated.

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[Mischa]

Nennie - good luck at the RE. My thoughts & prayers will be with you. It's hard not to get emotional. I remember when we were going I'd always tell myself "don't get your hopes up" but that never worked. :rolleyes:

I think I may be the oldest here (I'll be 42 in April) but we didn't really start until I was in my late 30s (too much going on in our lives before that). Looking back we regret not starting sooner, however we didn't have the money when we were younger. Sort of like a catch 22, huh? After our last disappointment we decided enough. And so we decided to take care of ourselves and follow the childless path. :sad2:

On my plate this weekend I'm going to a paint club meeting where we're doing an easy project. It's in the Shenendoah Valley in Virginia. It's so pretty out there (I just hope it doesn't snow!) :artist:

PrincessSuzanne - I've heard about Paula Deen's restaurant! I want to try it one day (if I get down that way!) Have fun!

[Gillian]

:grouphug: to all of you!

I'm also going to apologize here on behalf of anyone I might have said the wrong thing to in the past.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Nennie - good luck at the RE. My thoughts & prayers will be with you. It's hard not to get emotional. I remember when we were going I'd always tell myself "don't get your hopes up" but that never worked. :rolleyes:

I think I may be the oldest here (I'll be 42 in April) but we didn't really start until I was in my late 30s (too much going on in our lives before that). Looking back we regret not starting sooner, however we didn't have the money when we were younger. Sort of like a catch 22, huh? After our last disappointment we decided enough. And so we decided to take care of ourselves and follow the childless path. :sad2:

On my plate this weekend I'm going to a paint club meeting where we're doing an easy project. It's in the Shenendoah Valley in Virginia. It's so pretty out there (I just hope it doesn't snow!) :artist:

PrincessSuzanne - I've heard about Paula Deen's restaurant! I want to try it one day (if I get down that way!) Have fun!



Got to eat at Paula Deen's restaurant twice this weekend and it was wonderful, just thought you'd want to know

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well I went to my GYN today for my yearly exam and she talked me into trying Glucophage to see if it will help me lose some weight :scared: , start having a period again :eek:, and she even said that pregnancy word again. I'm gonna give this a try. I don't have high hopes, because nothing else has helped, but we'll see :sad2: . There were so many pregnant women in her office today, that I thought about drinking the water to see if there was anything in there that would help. :rotfl: :lmao:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[Mischa]

Good luck with the glucophage. I hate being in a room full of pg women. But I know what you mean - I'd be drinking the water myself - couldn't hurt. :rotfl:

Twice at Paula's huh? Did your mom enjoy her birthday?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Good luck with the glucophage. I hate being in a room full of pg women. But I know what you mean - I'd be drinking the water myself - couldn't hurt. :rotfl:

Twice at Paula's huh? Did your mom enjoy her birthday?


Yes, It was wonderful to get to eat there twice, a once in a lifetime experience (well maybe not, a 4 hour drive isn't that bad). My mom had a great time. Thank you for asking. If you ever get over that way and plan to stay the night, stay at the River Street Inn, it was wonderful. :angel:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[aclov]

Nennie - I'll just start meds for my 2nd IVF.

PM me if you want to talk. Good luck with your treatment.:goodvibes

[aksunshine]

Hi ladies. I was drawn to this thread while searching for a grown- up night out activity. Now you guys have me in tears. My heart is just aching for you. I can't imagine the pain.

Luckily I have 2 healthy children, my pregnancies weren't any fun, but I am blessed still. And I have faith that if you don't gve up, you will be too. Now, I don't mean give up trying, or IVF, but rather, don't give up HOPE that God will bestow upon you a precious little one in one way or another.

My grandmother and MIL are both foster mothers and I have seen some of the most amazing little ones waiting for their Forever Family. In fact, DMIL has adopted 4 and DGM has adopted 2. If DH and I could afford it, we would probably look into adopting 3 precious little girls that DMIL has now. They have been waiting for nearly 2.5 years, but it is hard to find a family to take 3 at a time.

Anyway, there are babies waiting for a loving family and for some mommies it just isn't the same as having your own, but for those that just want to wrap their arms around a little one and sing away their pain and kiss away the tears, they're there. Good luck and my prayersare with you. Just don't give up, God has a plan....:hug: :angel:

[Disney Doll]

I am now 45 years odl. Did the infertility route from age 31-37. Minor male factor stuff that was easily corrected, and no one could find any female factor stuff, so theoretically, we should have been ale to conceive. Well, 7 or 8 IVFs later, we didn't, couldn't and decided to stop.

For us, adoption was not an option. We had some serious reservations about it. Egg donor wasn't an option either...for me, something about it didn't feel "right". So we decided to be a really great aunt and uncle to the many children God has put into our life, who our friends and family so generously share with us.

When we were doing the IVF thing, I made a few decisions. I decided that I was not going to not be around children. I did not want my friends to or family to feel uncomfortable around me when they were able to get pregnant and I wasn't. I have always felt that any baby was a reason to celebrate and just because I couldn't have one was no reason for my loved ones not to be happy about their good fortune and I wasn't going to be the one to put a damper on thier happiness. I forced myself to go to the store, where I might see babies, to baby showers and so forth, because life goes on, and I wanted to participate in life and celebrate with people. It was hard at times, but I forced myself.

Now I am 7 years of no trying and I must admit...it's not too bad not to have kids. DH & I have a lot of freedom to do what we want, we have the ability to love a lot of children, be generous with our time and resources to these children we love.

I truly feel that children cannot have too many people who love them, so for us to be "bonus parents" to so many is a blessing.

And it took me a long time to get to this point.

[traci]

I stumbled across this thread and just wanted to give some encouragement. First of all, hugs to you all! What big-heart loving women you are. We also struggled with infertility. Went through injections, IUI (physically, I was the one with the issues) and were one step away from doing IVF. I wont bore you with the tests, the drugs, the failed attempts. We went through our treatment at the Mayo Clinic and still think it was their aggressive approach that finally worked. As luck would have it we conceived on a round of IUI - our last attempt before moving onto IVF. DH and didn't think we would have any more children - we were just so thankful to have one. Our RE didn't suggest BC and neither did my OBGYN - seemed imposible for me to conceive naturally. Imagine our shock to find out we were got pregnant when our son was only 4 months old. I will be 35 this July. I truly just wanted to share my story to offer hope for you ladies on this journey. I remember having such mixed feelings for women who were pregnant or with a child after going through infertility...I also remember clinging to any kind of hopeful story I could find. I hope my post wasn't out of line. I think you are all amazing and strong women. Until someone has faced the challenge of infertility they will never understand. I truly just wanted to let you ladies know that I am praying for each of you tonight (infact I already did before posting). God Bless you and DO NOT GIVE UP! Miracles happen.

p.s. please feel free to pm if you have any questions

[MAKHayes-DisneyDiva]

First of all, thank you to Nennie who started this thread. Good luck with the RE!
To Mickey8888, thank you for sharing your story. I started reading about your healthy preemie, and was so sad to see the part about SIDS. My heart goes out to you.

I had 2 sons, and one is currently a healthy 7 year old, the product of fertility drugs and treatments. The second pregnancy seemed to occur as soon as DH and I mentioned trying for another. I was thrilled to avoid hormone treatments and fertility drugs the second time around! But I didn't feel well. I was extremely tired during the early months of pregnancy #2, and I felt dizzy from time to time. At about 20 weeks, my OB noticed that my blood pressure was slightly elevated. I asked if it could be pre-eclampsia, and he said it could be, but that it was unusual for this to happen so early, especially in a second pregnancy following a healthy first pregnancy. To make a long story short, I was eventually flown to hospital about 2 hours from my home, and spent 4 weeks keeping my little guy alive. I gave birth to a beautiful, 1 pound, 15 ounce preemie on December 28,
2001. Unfortunately Ben was not a "healthy preemie." He was on a ventilator for about 10 weeks, had to undergo several surgeries, and required oxygen and a feeding tube for the rest of his 16 month life. He never spoke or walked, but he gave me, DH, and DS 7 (then DS 2)so many smiles and so much love. He passed away on April 30, 2003.
Last March we took our first trip to WDW. I thought of Ben so much, and wished he could be with us. He would have loved it! I knew that we never could have made the trip with Ben, as he had too many medical issues to travel that far from our home in Ohio. It may sound like it was a sad trip, but for the most part I was happily ensconced in the magic of Disney. Watching my DS (then 6) taking it all in was a major thrill for me. The only time I felt truly sad was during IllumiNations - we sat near a mom and dad with 2 sons. One seemed to be a typical boy, about 6 or 7 years old, and the younger brother had special needs, including the need for oxygen. At that moment I wished desperately that we could be like them, a family of 4 enjoying the magic together.
We are returning to WDW in 28 days! Like you, I enjoy seeing so many kids having such a wonderful time. I know I am blessed to have my 7 year old, and am doubly blessed to have had 16 months with Ben.
Best wishes to everyone!

[Sanibel Spirit]

Hi

I realise this thread has been going for a while now but I have only just come across it. I just wanted to add something - if that is ok. DH and I can't have children and no it isn't a choice. We have known for a while now but time doesn't make it any easier.

I am addicted to Disney (DH puts up with me:) )and going each time and seeing children there smiling and laughing is hard. Mind you, DH is a big kid anyway! I am regularly very down about it all and can't really tell him how I feel as I hate making him feel guilty. But each month is a reminder of what I am never going to experience and it just gets harder and harder.

I admit though that never having been pregnant is probably easier than those of you who have and lost - I really feel for you guys.

I don't really know what else to say.

[Nennie]

NOTES FROM MODERATOR: Removed quote from deleted post.


Speaking of "keeping comments to themselves"...kindly do the same. I started this thread so that those of us who have struggled with infertility or lost children could support each other.

Please respect that. Thanks!

[Nennie]

I'm still waiting for AF, so I can start my injects. Fingers are crossed!! Our trip to WDW in May will either be a celebration or a consolation prize!! LOL!!

In the meantime, I have also begun the process to become a foster mom. The training process, etc, takes about 6 months, so it will be a while until we are licensed, and then I'm not sure how long after that to get a placement, but I'm eager to learn about it as we go along.

Sanibel Spirit -- Thanks for weighing in! For what it's worth I don't think that it's worse for those who have lost children than it is for you. While we grieve our losses, you grieve for the children/pregnancies that you've never had. I know that it gets hard to see the children laughing and having a great time, so when I'm in one of my "moods" I definitely avoid fantasy land, and end up going to Jelly Rolls and getting snockered instead! ;)

MAK -- I am so sorry to hear about your precious little Ben!! I'm glad that you still enjoy WDW, and of course can understand how there are times when you can't help but think of how things "should be". Bless you and your family!

Traci -- congrats on your success (times two)! Thank you also for the kind thoughts and positive energy. I promise not to give up!!

DisneyDoll -- Although you have certainly traveled a rough road, you seem to be at peace, and I am very happy for you. You sound like you have a lot of love to give as a "bonus parent" and I'm sure you receive a lot of love in return as well!

Aclov -- Best wishes on your cycle!!! I'll be sure to drop you a PM to chat!!

[traci]

I'm still waiting for AF, so I can start my injects. Fingers are crossed!! Our trip to WDW in May will either be a celebration or a consolation prize!! LOL!!


I will keep you in my thoughts and check in form time to time. Keep us posted.

I hope your trip is a CELEBRATION!! :wizard:

[MAKHayes-DisneyDiva]

NOTES FROM MODERATOR: Removing quote from deleted post.

Maybe I am misunderstanding you. Are you actually telling women who desperately want to give their love to a child of their own, but are unable to do so, to keep their comments to themselves? If so, I am astonished.
:confused:

[smoof]

From the bottom of my heart, I apologize if what I wrote came out wrong. I was just trying to SUPPORT your comments. I was referring to what you said in your inital post about other people making comments about how could you go to Disney with all the children around. Not, you expressing your feelings. I feel terrible that it came out wrong.

[hematite153]

I'm still waiting for AF, so I can start my injects. Fingers are crossed!! Our trip to WDW in May will either be a celebration or a consolation prize!! LOL!!

I'll keep my fingers crossed for you as well. I hope you get a celebration trip but our trip last August was pretty good as a consolation trip so I understand your planning mentality well. Keep us posted.

I went for IUI last Thurs. so I've got my fingers crossed as well.

Thanks to all of those who've shared their stories since I last read this thread. It does help to know that we're not alone. Plus, I figure that this way I can be happy and excited if any of us are successful.

[Nennie]

Smoof -- Thanks for clarifying, and I'm glad it was just a post that came out wrong. I was thinking "is this person telling me to stop whining that my son passed away?" and was really confused! Thanks for coming back to explain!

Traci -- Thanks so much for the kind words and well wishes! I hope I'm posting good news next month!

Hematite -- Crossing my fingers for you BIG TIME!!!!! I will be thinking of you, and hoping for that BFP!!! Please, please keep us posted!!!

[debhenderson]

perhaps this isn't any help at all, but I am a single parent of two wonderful daughters who have begun their own lives. The final tearing away of the umbilical cord is a situation I'm still struggling with. That's why I decided to do WDW solo now because I'm alone. I know the pain of not having children must be devestating,but there are many devestating changes involved with raising children also.

[traci]

hematite, GOOD~LUCK!!! :wizard: We are wishing morning sickness for you and Nennie on your upcoming Disney trips :) :)

One of my dear friends had IVF last week. She had also been struggling with her weight and her RE wouldn't do it until she had lost some. Well she finally made it to that point and they did their first round on Friday. They have had many failed IUI attempts so we are hoping these stick (doc implanted 2 eggies)!!

Smoof, thank you so much for the clarification on your post. It made sense when you explained it - sometimes it's hard to understand what someone is saying with just a keyboard :)

Again, I am wishing the best for you all - I hope your dream of a baby is granted and all of the wonderful things that follow.

[MAKHayes-DisneyDiva]

:goodvibes Smoof - Thanks for the clarification.

[Nennie]

Still waiting on the witch! I'm on CD35 and just hoping it gets here soon. And yes I tested, just to make sure! LOL! In other news, we have our initial meeting with the foster care case worker next week. I'm interested to learn more about the process.

Traci -- Thanks so much for the well wishes! Best of luck to your friend on her IVF cycle as well!!

Hematite -- You cheating and testing early or waiting til beta? Fingers are crossed!

Best wishes to everyone!

[hematite153]

Hematite -- You cheating and testing early or waiting til beta? Fingers are crossed!

Waiting....at least for now. Negative tests are too depressing to risk false negatives. Of course, I usually end up breaking down before I get there, but I want to wait.

Good luck on your own cycle.... Fingers crossed that the wait means something good.

[mickey8888]

I can remember it was a little less then a year after we lost our beloved son Dylan that I wasn't feeling right and I went to the doctor they did a preg. test. I'll never forget this, DH and I went back in the waiting room to wait the nurse called us and said I know how much this means to you guys blah blah blah and I'm glad to tell you your pregnet! Yeah we were overly excited we swore we wouldn't tell a soul until I was 3 months along to be safe, heck with that we wanted to scream from the mountain tops we told everyone. We went to the store and looked at baby stuff and everything. A few weeks past I went back to the doctor becasue now I have my cycle (how can this be happening) I went back to the dr. they did another test I wasn't pregnet!!!!!! I'm was crying screaming thinking I miscarried -- nope I had a false positive test!!!!!!!!!!!! Hopefully in the near future we can have children again, I so hope!!! January I will be 30 and its like wow I'm almost 30 and no children yet. But I keep telling myself there are people a lot older then me having babies, so almost 30 means nothing.

Chrissy

[Jen_in_NH]

Well I went to my GYN today for my yearly exam and she talked me into trying Glucophage to see if it will help me lose some weight :scared: , start having a period again :eek:, and she even said that pregnancy word again. I'm gonna give this a try. I don't have high hopes, because nothing else has helped, but we'll see :sad2: . There were so many pregnant women in her office today, that I thought about drinking the water to see if there was anything in there that would help. :rotfl: :lmao:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

Sorry to stick my nose in on your thread, but it's pretty close to home for me (although we didn't go through as much as most of you here have been through) My OB/GYN put me on Glucophage for PCOS after we hadn't been able to get pregnant for a year. It definitely helped with weight loss, although the diarrhea it can give you is a bit much sometimes :) I was on it for 9 months when I got pregnant. After 8 failed rounds of Clomid, we decided to take a break for a while (Clomid makes me a bit cranky....), and the month when I was only on the Glucophage was the month I got pregnant.

Good luck. My fingers are crossed for you all.

Jen

[emmismom05]

I do not know how hard it is to go through all the infertility treatments and I am sure it is! But I do know how hard it is overcome the fact that I would not have bio kids. I have Premature Ovarian Failure (I'm 26). My ovaries stopped working when I was 14. So, I have always known that it would be hard, if not impossible. I found out for sure after I did a week long study at the National Institutes Of Health. I was 22 at the time. I had been married for 2 years (yes, I am a young'n and got married when I was 20!).

Anyway, I feel blessed in some ways for not having to go through fertility treatments, on the other hand, I could never have the hope of getting pregnant.

Fast forward to today and we have a beautiful 2 1/2 year old daughter we adopted from Guatemala when she was 10 months old. International adoption is very expensive but chose that route after a failed domestic adoption (will never go that route again). I am so glad our hearts led us to Guatemala. I know that I could never love a bio child any more than I love her. I also know that she was meant for our family. It's amazing the similarities she has to my husband and I even though she looks nothing like us.

Have faith and be strong that everything will work at as it is supposed to. Easier said than done, I know. Good luck through your treatments. If I could have, I would be doing fertility treatments as well but I am so glad I chose not to be child-free. I was meant to be a mom and I know my Guatemalan princess was meant to be my daughter.

[emmismom05]

I forgot to add in my previous post that you see children and pregnant women everywhere so what difference does it make at WDW? I was never upset at seeing children but pregnant women were hard for me to look at. It was/is still hard when a friend tells me she's pregnant. I'm happy for her but at the same time there is this pain in knowing that won't ever be me. Even though I am happy and satisfied with adoption, I think there is that longing that won't quite ever go away. I've heard it gets easier with time and it has but I hope it gets better.

[momsoftwins]

well after reading some of this posts and drying my eyes from the stories i see. i wish all you luck and happiness. i too like jen in nh have pcos and went to fer dr in sept of 2002 and with a few diifferent med and things had my 1st iui on nov 14th and two weeks later was prego with twins. i feel very lucky that it look the 1st time and i was 2 great daughters.
my heart and my prayers go to all of u

[PrincessSuzanne]

Nennie, I hope things go well for you. Although I am not in exactly the same boat as you are, I can certainly sympathize with you. We are working towards the same goal.

Jen in NH, Thank you for the encouragement. I haven't "officially" bee diagnosed with PCOS, because of my weight and my mother being diabetic, I may be Insulin Resistant. A Cyst was seen on an ultrasound after my first IUI in 2004, so I am suspecting that is a good possibility, and I do have other symptoms. I have found a wonderful board of women that are going through PCOS and they have offered some wonderful information for handling PCOS. The site is Soulcysters.net. I am trying some of the herbs and vitamins that they talk about, but I am trying hard not to get my hopes up to high.

mickey8888- sorry about your loss, I know that must be hard to lose a child. My grandmother lost her youngest daughter when she was 41 and I know it was very traumatic for her even at that age. My grandmother was in her 70s. I am 33, will be 34 in June and so don't worry about just turning 30, as every one else tells me, "you have plenty of time".

emmismom05-I'm so glad you were able to be blessed with a wonderful daughter after such a bad experience. Adoption is just not a route I want to travel down. I have done alot of research and it just isn't for me. The expense (I just don't get that) and the horror stories just don't make it worth it for me. I want a newborn and you can't get a newborn from foreign countries and the requirements knock me out because of my weight issue and again the cost is really unreasonable.

momsoftwins- Thank you for the blessed story, it does add to the hope that the Metformin (Glucophage) works for me, plus the other things I have purchased from the Healthfood store. Some of the Soulcysters swear by them.

So far I have done well and I have solved the diarrhea issue (eat half of your meal, take the meds, then finish your meal).

Mischa-Where are you? Haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope you are doing well.

Best of Luck to everyone TTCing and Sending some Babydust to all

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[tiggers_pal]

Hope nobody minds me 'popping in', I am so very luck I have 2 children now aged 14 and 17 ( just where does the time go). But I lost my first child, I was 5 months pregnant, and I called him 'Andrew'. It was the 20th June 1988, our first wedding anniversary. My 2nd son was born on the 20th July 1989, and I look at it that Kristoper wouldnt have been here if Andrew wouldnt have gone, so mixed blessing.

I found it difficult to believe that I had lost a child. I had 3 sisters and 1 brother who died when they where young, 2 late miscarriages ( who would have survived in this day) my sister julie who died at 16 months of cot death, and my sister Maria who died after falling down the stairs. When I lost Andrew I went into complete denial, I thought my mum had lost enough babies and that no way would I lose one, but I did, it took a while to get over, or do you ever really get over it. But now he is with my siblings and they are being great aunts and uncles to him, thats how I feel.

All I would say is that it was totally 'forgotton' that I had lost 3 sisters and a brother, 'hidden under the carpet', its different now with pherapy and all that. But never forget that I know when you lose a child your pain is unbearable at times, but if there is a sibling left, let them talk, let them ask questions, and remember they have lost there brother/sister. Its only now at the age of 39 that I am feeling at peace with now being a 'only child'

Angie

[katiemugs2]

Hi everyone,
It is nice to see that I am not alone here. My husband and I are DVC owners, and are also childless. We had come to turns with never having children when I concieved our twins while at Disney in November. Needless to say, it was a very difficult pregnancy as a developed a tear in my uterine wall, along with a large blood clot that would not heal. It was not until after I misscarried at the end of my 1st trimester that I realized that I have a blood clotting problem where my blood clots too much. I am now taking 1 baby aspirin daily, and am waiting for the doctor to give us the green light to start trying but am dealing with the fact that if I misscarry again the doctor states that I may have to go on prescription blood thinners to try to carry to term. It is all very scary and I felt very guilty afterwards was that the only thing that kept me sane was to plan another trip to Disney. I was very embarrassed to even tell people that we(me and my mom) are going in May as I was afraid they would think bad of me for planning a vacation at a time like this but was very glad to see that other people have had the same reactions. I am thinking of you all and wish you all the best. Hopefully one day we will all be at Disney with little ones.
Katie

[want2bamommy]

Hello everyone! I am so happy that I found this website (and more importantly this thread). DH and I have been married for a little over 10 years now and are hoping to get pregnant in 2007. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan and has been there for a year, week, and 2 days today (not that I am counting or anything, lol). He was supposed to come home this past Saturday but his Battalion was extended through Mid June. We had a trip planned for DW from April 14-21 and had to cancel. I have rescheduled it now from December 22-January 1st. BTW I cannot WAIT for June 1st so I can see the EMH days for December (lol) and make our ADR's!! I have the list of restaurants we want but want to schedule them according to EMH!! I have the desire to plan it now so it is killing me to wait!

As for the TTC subject well what can I say. I have PCOS and am hypothryoid so they seem to be our contributing factors (in addition to the fact that DH is gone every other year on a deployment). I am overweight and have lost 39 pounds during the year that DH has been gone. I am aiming for 20 more pounds by June and just started training to run a 5K race once he returns.

I guess that is all for now but I am looking forward to getting to know you all! I would LOVE to see some of you get your BFP's!!!!!

Missie

[DisneyDreamer8]

Big Hugs to all of you strong women!!! You all have been through so much :hug:

I post on another thread here on the Dis about TTC on the Community Board. My journey is not where near as complicated as your (yet) but I can sympathize with you all. My DH (31) and I (29) have been TTC since May 2006. We have been married for 7 years. I had my first HSG a couple of weeks ago which came back clear. So I will be starting my 2nd round of Clomid in a few days (I believe that AF is knocking at the door). I believe I have a luteal phase defect so they will be testing my progesterone at CD21.

I hope that you all are able to be Moms in some fashion. I applaud those who have adopted and I hope that if I am not able to have a child that I can find the strength to do the same.

For those who are still trying...best of luck!!!! and of course...

http://i84.photobucket.com/albums/k31/thompsonansell/01Babydustc.gif

[want2bamommy]

Hi Rebecca!
I wanted to wish you and DH a lot of luck with your TTC journey! We all know how hard it can be. I hope you get your BFP very soon! I am hoping to get my script for Clomid next month when I see a new doctor.

Keep us posted!

Missie

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Rebecca!
I wanted to wish you and DH a lot of luck with your TTC journey! We all know how hard it can be. I hope you get your BFP very soon! I am hoping to get my script for Clomid next month when I see a new doctor.

Keep us posted!

Missie


I see you have PCOS, have you thought about trying some alternative therapy. I was doing some research on Metformin and PCOS and came upon a message board for women with similar problems. It is www.Soulcysters.net, it has given me some renewed hope. Many of these women have used Soy Isoflavones and it works very much like Clomid, but can be purchased OTC, in fact I bought some at Target recently, so when AF decides to show herself, I am going to try it on days 5-9, just like you take Clomid. Many of the women have conceived on this. I am also trying several other remedies that were suggested by them. I decided it couldn't hurt and they don't cost nearly as much as traditional fertility meds.

BabyDust to all TTCing,

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[DisneyDreamer8]

Missie-Thanks for your well wishes!!! And best of luck with you as well!!! A little tip on the Clomid (if you decide to take it) is to take it right before you go to bed. By doing that I didn't have side effects for the five days of pills. After those five days...all bets are off. ;)

:grouphug:

[hematite153]

I thought I should let you all know that we were unsuccessful this round.

I have an appointment with my Dr. (I see the rotating clinic Dr.s during treatment) later this week to discuss next steps.

How's it going nennie?

[aclov]

I thought I should let you all know that we were unsuccessful this round.

I have an appointment with my Dr. (I see the rotating clinic Dr.s during treatment) later this week to discuss next steps.

How's it going nennie?

You had IUI done correct? Was this your first time? Hang in there. I've been ttc for 7 years and usually the first step the dr. puts you on is clomid. When that didn't work we did several IUI's, which failed. Because of financial reasons we couldn't afford IVF so we would just try another IUI until we exhausted all that ins. would cover. We finally did IVF in Nov. and unfortunately failed. Now I'm in my 2ww for the 2nd IVF. Pleeze send me some baby dust:wizard:

It's an emotional rollercoaster and I often wonder what I did to deserve this. Mine is unexplained so it's so frustrating to me. I'm sending you all hugs of encouragement:grouphug: because I know it's difficult.

[want2bamommy]

You had IUI done correct? Was this your first time? Hang in there. I've been ttc for 7 years and usually the first step the dr. puts you on is clomid. When that didn't work we did several IUI's, which failed. Because of financial reasons we couldn't afford IVF so we would just try another IUI until we exhausted all that ins. would cover. We finally did IVF in Nov. and unfortunately failed. Now I'm in my 2ww for the 2nd IVF. Pleeze send me some baby dust:wizard:

It's an emotional rollercoaster and I often wonder what I did to deserve this. Mine is unexplained so it's so frustrating to me. I'm sending you all hugs of encouragement:grouphug: because I know it's difficult.

I wish you the best of luck during this 2 WW!! I hope this time goes by quickly for you!! What day are you having your test?

Missie

[want2bamommy]

I am so sorry to hear that you didn't get your BFP this cycle!! I hope that this cycle turns out to be the one!
Missie

[PrincessSuzanne]

It's an emotional rollercoaster and I often wonder what I did to deserve this. Mine is unexplained so it's so frustrating to me. I'm sending you all hugs of encouragement:grouphug: because I know it's difficult.[/QUOTE]



Join the club, I even still often wonder the same thing. I have done the angry at God, angry at the whole world. I read an article just today about a couple in Washington that tortured the man's developmentally delayed 4 year old daughter to death and I wonder why people like that are allowed to have children and those that can give them everything they need can't have children or have to use every resources available to have a child. This is a screwed up world we live in. I work in a hospital and see many things and have had to learn to control my anger at people that hurt children and even at babies having babies. There was a set of 15 year old twins that each had a baby this year, 22 days apart, now what kind of parent is a 15 year old going to make. My cousin had her first daughter at 19 and she is still at 28 a bad parent IMHO(not as bad as some though, mainly selfish).

Just know that you are not alone in this. It took alot of internet surfing and book reading to figure this out and I still have really bad days and I have been at this for over 5 years (don't know how many more I can take though).

Hugs :hug: and BabyDust to all

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[want2bamommy]

I see you have PCOS, have you thought about trying some alternative therapy. I was doing some research on Metformin and PCOS and came upon a message board for women with similar problems. It is www.Soulcysters.net, it has given me some renewed hope. Many of these women have used Soy Isoflavones and it works very much like Clomid, but can be purchased OTC, in fact I bought some at Target recently, so when AF decides to show herself, I am going to try it on days 5-9, just like you take Clomid. Many of the women have conceived on this. I am also trying several other remedies that were suggested by them. I decided it couldn't hurt and they don't cost nearly as much as traditional fertility meds.

BabyDust to all TTCing,

PrincessSuzanne princess:

Hello! I have purchased the Soy Isoflavones and I used them one month. I will start them again during my next cycle (I have 2 cycles left before my DH returns from Afghanistan). I am going to visit that site you posted too.

Thanks!

Missie :)

[CinRell]

Hi! I'm not sure I "belong" here... but I AM child-free but not by choice.. mostly because at 31 I'm still single. I was engaged and hopeful but he decided to be with his coworker and not tell me about it.

I always thought by the age of 30 I'd at LEAST have one child working on more... but it didn't work that way for me.

My fear is that I like to take things slow... and at my age I really can't. I always thought date 5 years.. be married 5 years.. then think of kids. Well.. not happenin!

I also have PCOS (and would love to be in touch with those here that have it for support and advice)... and it's another concern for me.

Motherhood is so important to me I've decided if I'm still single at age 38 I will begin the process of adoption and pray I'm accepted as a single women.

My prayers, encouragement and support to those trying. My understanding to those unable to even try.

Tig the story of losing ALL of your siblings and your first to be born really tugged at my heartstrings (hugs) to you.

[katmattsmom]

I normally don't post about this but so many of these stories bring on the tears because I've been there too. I have pcos and struggled for many years with the fact that I couldn't get pregnant.
10 years and 1 marriage later, we've adopted 2 children from fostercare. We were fosterparents for 4 years and adopted our first two foster placements... our daughter (she came to us at 4 months, adopted at 1 yr) and son (came to us at 2 months, adopted at 18 months). They're happy and healthy 2 & 4 year olds now. Yes, it was hard living through the 'what if they leave' but we did it and are now, finally parents :)

Good luck to all of you TTC, I sincerely hope there are little ones in your future! :cloud9:

[lady_hlh]

I just wanted post my experience because this thread reminded me of everything that we went through before we had our DD. I had 2 miscarriages in my early thirties and then started having trouble conceiving. We did all the drug treatments and then we did an IVF because I used to have insurance that covered part of the costs. I had a few poor quality embryos and nothing took so the RE told us that we were wasting our money on another IVF. He recommended a new treatment that was being done in NJ that has since been stopped by the FDA; my DH called the center and they didn't want anything to do with a 37 year old who had poor egg quality. The RE also told us that we should start considering donor eggs but I just couldn't imagine doing that. As all of this was happening I was diagnosed with an automimmune disorder and TTC was no longer a priority. While I was dealing with the autoimmune problems my DH and I periodically discussed adoption but my DH kept hoping I would just conceive so he really wasn't interested in adoption. I conceived right before I turned 40 and found out that I was pregnant on my B-Day so I tell my DD all the time that she was the best B-Day present in my entire life. I never did conceive again and I'm 46 now so it doesn't seem likely that I'll have another miracle baby.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi! I'm not sure I "belong" here... but I AM child-free but not by choice.. mostly because at 31 I'm still single. I was engaged and hopeful but he decided to be with his coworker and not tell me about it.

I always thought by the age of 30 I'd at LEAST have one child working on more... but it didn't work that way for me.

My fear is that I like to take things slow... and at my age I really can't. I always thought date 5 years.. be married 5 years.. then think of kids. Well.. not happenin!

I also have PCOS (and would love to be in touch with those here that have it for support and advice)... and it's another concern for me.

Motherhood is so important to me I've decided if I'm still single at age 38 I will begin the process of adoption and pray I'm accepted as a single women.

My prayers, encouragement and support to those trying. My understanding to those unable to even try.

Tig the story of losing ALL of your siblings and your first to be born really tugged at my heartstrings (hugs) to you.



Let me be the first to welcome you :welcome: and to say taht I have been there done that. I was engaged the first time at 20, he left me a little over a year later. I fell in love with a wonderful someone else at 26, but he did't love me the same way, and then I met DH when I was 27, just as I was ready to give up on finding love. We were maried 14 months after we met and have been TTCing since the day we got married. I had decided that if I wasn't married or with someone by the time I turned 30, I was going to have a baby on my own, and now I have these problems. I gave up on the slow thing a long time ago. I want things now and having to deal with infertility with my attitude like that hasn't helped much.

I haven't officially been diagnosed with PCOS, but I believe that is the way my Gyn is leaning, she is waiting to see some of my past workup (my current Gyn is new for me, finally one that isn't judgemental). My Gyn started me on Metformin 500mg twice a day, and I have started taking Vitex, Yeast Fend, Cinnamon, and of course Folic Acid on my own, since reading about them from the Soulysters. If AF ever shows, I am going to take the Soy Isoflavones.

I appreciate having someone who understands, because DM and DH just don't. Well, most men just don't, and my mother doesn't because, well she has me. I have two wonderful friends at work that listen, but they don't understand either, b/c they have their children. I just always knew that I would be a mother, heck, that is what I was born for. I have always loved babies, even from the time I was a baby and has really been hard these last 5 years. I have shed alot of tears and pent up alot of anger and hostility, but things have gotten a little easier. I feel sometimes though, that if I could at least get pregnant, if I lost the baby, that would be easier than not being able to get pregnant at all. But I have heard other women say the opposite, so there is no happy medium.

BabyDust Always

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi! I'm not sure I "belong" here... but I AM child-free but not by choice.. mostly because at 31 I'm still single. I was engaged and hopeful but he decided to be with his coworker and not tell me about it.

I always thought by the age of 30 I'd at LEAST have one child working on more... but it didn't work that way for me.

My fear is that I like to take things slow... and at my age I really can't. I always thought date 5 years.. be married 5 years.. then think of kids. Well.. not happenin!

I also have PCOS (and would love to be in touch with those here that have it for support and advice)... and it's another concern for me.

Motherhood is so important to me I've decided if I'm still single at age 38 I will begin the process of adoption and pray I'm accepted as a single women.

My prayers, encouragement and support to those trying. My understanding to those unable to even try.

Tig the story of losing ALL of your siblings and your first to be born really tugged at my heartstrings (hugs) to you.



Let me be the first to welcome you :welcome: and to say taht I have been there done that. I was engaged the first time at 20, he left me a little over a year later. I fell in love with a wonderful someone else at 26, but he did't love me the same way, and then I met DH when I was 27, just as I was ready to give up on finding love. We were maried 14 months after we met and have been TTCing since the day we got married. I had decided that if I wasn't married or with someone by the time I turned 30, I was going to have a baby on my own, and now I have these problems. I gave up on the slow thing a long time ago. I want things now and having to deal with infertility with my attitude like that hasn't helped much.

I haven't officially been diagnosed with PCOS, but I believe that is the way my Gyn is leaning, she is waiting to see some of my past workup (my current Gyn is new for me, finally one that isn't judgemental). My Gyn started me on Metformin 500mg twice a day, and I have started taking Vitex, Yeast Fend, Cinnamon, and of course Folic Acid on my own, since reading about them from the Soulysters. If AF ever shows, I am going to take the Soy Isoflavones.

I appreciate having someone who understands, because DM and DH just don't. Well, most men just don't, and my mother doesn't because, well she has me. I have two wonderful friends at work that listen, but they don't understand either, b/c they have their children. I just always knew that I would be a mother, heck, that is what I was born for. I have always loved babies, even from the time I was a baby and has really been hard these last 5 years. I have shed alot of tears and pent up alot of anger and hostility, but things have gotten a little easier. I feel sometimes though, that if I could at least get pregnant, if I lost the baby, that would be easier than not being able to get pregnant at all. But I have heard other women say the opposite, so there is no happy medium.

BabyDust Always

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[hematite153]

You had IUI done correct? Was this your first time? Hang in there.

This was my third IUI. However, we spent about 3 years working on my wife first. So, I know a lot about the full system. Initially she looked like the easier candidate since I have never had regular cycles. However, she went through clomid (to the point of developing a drug resistance) and other interventions before we decided to try switching roles.

According to my workup I actually have surprisingly good hormone levels--they are just hard to predict. I seem to build really slowly (with random stalling) and then leap through the surge. Because I build slowly the one doc is suggesting something. (Yes, I suspect you are right about it being clomid--except that my doc prescibes seraphine because it has fewer side effects.) However, clomid increases chances of multiple births and I had 2 viable follicles when I did my baseline scans so I need to know more (and hear my own doc's opinion) before I make decisions. I have a sense that the sudden surge is more of a problem and I'm not convinced they are timing the IUI correctly.

Now I'm in my 2ww for the 2nd IVF. Pleeze send me some baby dust:wizard:

It's an emotional rollercoaster and I often wonder what I did to deserve this. Mine is unexplained so it's so frustrating to me. I'm sending you all hugs of encouragement:grouphug: because I know it's difficult.

:wizard: <baby dust> :grouphug:

[R Dog Walt]

Hi there!

I know I'm chiming in here late but just discovered this post.

First of all, we LOVE Disney. We're DVC members, and this year we have 3 trips planned. I love being there, even without kids.

My partner and I have been trying for over 2 years to have a baby. Here's our brief history:

Me: 9 cycles at home (6 with Clomid), 6 injectable IUI cycles, 2 IVFs. Turns out my egg quality is bad. We've never had an embryo made it past day 3- so we've never transfered any embryos. :( Apparently, my cytoplasm is bad so I won't be having any biological children.

Partner: High FSH, one tube blocked, just recently had a lap and she has some fibroids. RE isn't sure she'd be an ideal candidate for IVF.

We just got great news though. My RE has a donor embryo program and after waiting for 3 months we got to choose some embryos. The embryos happen to be the result of donor egg/donor sperm cycle! I'm thrilled. We're transfering in June (we have to wait a mandatory grace period of 90 days).

We have 2 trips to WDW planned between now and then. We're headed to BCV next week, and SSR the first week of June! At least I'll have the 2 trips to keep me busy during the wait!

Good luck to you all out there!

[Nennie]

I'm so glad to see so many new people popping in to our little thread!!! Infertility is such an emotional condition, and it really helps to have the support of each other!!

I don't think I've told this story yet (but if I did, I'm telling it again, lol)! When I was in WDW in January 2006, I ran into an old college friend (she was my "little sister" in my sorority) whom I hadn't seen in 10 years. We exchanged numbers, and quickly rekindled our friendship. Shortly afterwards, she confided in me that she was going through IF, and I told that I was as well. Since then, we've been there to support each other, and I truly think that we were meant to run into each other at WDW that day. Anyway, she is in the middle of her first (and hopefully last) IVF cycle, and will have her ET tommorrow. Fingers are crossed, and prayers are being said!!

As for me, my cycle got cancelled due to overstimming in my right ovary (the side without a tube of course, lol), so I've stopped the meds, and will try again in April. I still have time to get pregnant before my May trip to WDW, which would be a dream come true! If not, we'll keep on trucking. We're still completing the process to foster/adopt as well, so hopefully something will work out for us!

R Dog -- Welcome to yet another DVC member! There's quite a few of us here! I'm sorry to hear about your failed cycles. Best of luck on the Donor Embryo!! My RE has a similar program which is on our list of things to try as well! In the meantime, have a great time at WDW. Hopefully the next time you go, you won't be able to go on the thrill rides!

Hematite -- UGH on your failed cycle!! I'm so very sorry!! Clomid is the devil's drug so be careful! LOL!! Seriously, it made me quite unbearable to be around. I had much fewer side effects with the injectables. Although the chance for multiples is supposedly higher, both of my pregnancies were singletons, even though I had 4 and 5 follicles each time.

Suzanne -- How is the Met working for you? Soulcysters is a great site for PCOS, and I'm glad you've already found it! I had the by age 30 plan too, but we will be mothers someday (hopefully sooner rather than later though)!!

Lady -- Congrats on your DD!! I'm so happy to read stories with happy endings!!

KatMattsmom -- Thanks so much for sharing a positive foster/adopt experience! We are just starting the process, and won't be taking a placement until the fall (as we are moving in Sept), but I have to admit that the fear of falling in love with a child, and then having that child taken away from me is still very great! I guess I have to chance a little more heartbreak though to reach my goals!

Cinrell -- Welcome!! Suzanne mentioned soulcysters, and it's a great site for PCOS. I'm not a PCOSer myself, but have met many other IF friends that are living with PCOS. There are a lot of single women that opt to just go for it at a certain age, so you are not alone if and when you make that decision!!!

Aclov -- I'm rooting for you!!!!!!!!!!!! Best wishes during your 2WW!!!!!

Missie -- I hope the herbal supplements do the trick, and that your DH comes home soon safe and sound!

I'm sure I missed a few of you...and will be sure to catch up with everyone next post!! :)

[CinRell]

Thanks I'll check out soulcysters... I was on another PCOS support board but can't remember the name.. maybe that's the one? lol!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Ladies, I am glad to "see" everyone here. It is nice to have this little group of supporters. It is nice to have someone that actually understands what you are going through. My co-worker, who I have been working with for almost three years, told me that she suffers from infertility, then I want to know why then did she get spontaneously pregnant for a second time (this second one is an "accident" she talked so terrible about being preg with this one. She says "it messed up me being able to go to Canada for a vacation") before her son turned 1. Infertile my hind end. She is just the kind of person to pull your heartstrings and then let them slap you in the face (I hate people like her)(I HATE her). She is a "mean girl"

Nennie, so glad to hear from you, sorry your cycle didn't go well. I had that happen on my second IUI cycle and had to take BCP's taht month. Hope all goes well in April and I know it will. I don't know if the Met is working or no, I haven't had any problems with it. I haven't had AF since early February, so I don't know what is going on. I am going to try taking Soy Isoflavones instead of Clomid (they work the same way), since I can get it OTC and really cheap.

Hugs to everyone :grouphug: and lots of BabyDust too.

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[hematite153]

We just got great news though. My RE has a donor embryo program and after waiting for 3 months we got to choose some embryos. The embryos happen to be the result of donor egg/donor sperm cycle! I'm thrilled. We're transfering in June (we have to wait a mandatory grace period of 90 days).


That's great news! Good luck!

[stepdisney]

Wow. I just happened to see this thread. This truely is a wonderful site. I've been through three IVF cycles. I have a 12-year-old son, the product of my first cycle, I didn't get pregnant the second cycle at all and I got pregnant with twins the third cycle. Unfortunately, one was ectopic and I lost both. Only someone who has struggled can understand the tragedy of that one, I was 12 weeks! On the brighter side, I have a beautiful 6-year-old whom we adopted at 20 days old and we would have never done that if I hadn't experienced that tragedy. Whenever I get sad about those twins, and believe me my husband and I still get sad, I think "God had a different plan, he knew we were supposed to adopt Jonathan". Hope this helps someone. :wizard: Lots of pink and blue baby dust to everyone!

[HockeyKat]

Hi! I'm not sure I "belong" here... but I AM child-free but not by choice.. mostly because at 31 I'm still single. I was engaged and hopeful but he decided to be with his coworker and not tell me about it.

I always thought by the age of 30 I'd at LEAST have one child working on more... but it didn't work that way for me.

My fear is that I like to take things slow... and at my age I really can't. I always thought date 5 years.. be married 5 years.. then think of kids. Well.. not happenin!

I also have PCOS (and would love to be in touch with those here that have it for support and advice)... and it's another concern for me.

Motherhood is so important to me I've decided if I'm still single at age 38 I will begin the process of adoption and pray I'm accepted as a single women.

My prayers, encouragement and support to those trying. My understanding to those unable to even try.

Tig the story of losing ALL of your siblings and your first to be born really tugged at my heartstrings (hugs) to you.

I know I don't belong here (childfree by choice), but I wanted to speak to this... my mom didn't meet and marry my dad until she was 32. They met when she was 32, married at 33, and she had my brother at 34 and me at 37 (two miscarriages in between). So it *can* happen to you... Sending pixiedust: your way.

[R Dog Walt]

Hematite- Thanks!;)

Princess Suzanne- I'm sorry about your co-worker. It's hard when people claim to understand what it's like to be IF. Yes, I know miracles do happen, but I agree that she probably wasn't IF to begin with if she's spontaneously gotten pregnant TWICE! Uggh! Vent away!

Stepdisney- I'm so sorry about your twins. I can't imagine losing babies at 12 weeks. I'm glad that you were able to adopt your son!

[deedeetoo]

I just stumbled on this thread and wanted to send good thoughts your way.

We went through the infertility thing too. I conceived our daughter after two years of trying. She is now 8. We did try for a second but I wasn't producing any good eggs at that point so we turned to adoption. Our son is now 6.

I know many people have a hard time turning to adoption. I would encourage you to explore it with an open mind. Our son is absolutely wonderful. The two kids are as close as brother and sister can be and I can honestly say that I feel no differently towards him than I do my bio daughter.

[stepdisney]

I know many people have a hard time turning to adoption. I would encourage you to explore it with an open mind. Our son is absolutely wonderful. The two kids are as close as brother and sister can be and I can honestly say that I feel no differently towards him than I do my bio daughter.

I agree, the choice to adopt is a difficult one. When I almost died with the ectopic after hyperstimulating on a IVF cycle, I began to rethink things. I knew that what I wanted was children and though pregnancy was our primary goal, being healthy and raising the children is the most important thing. I'm glad to be alive today to look into my sons' eyes and tell them I love them.

[aclov]

Well, the dreaded phone call from the nurse happened about 1/2 hour and unfortunately it was bad news - BFN.:sad1: I'm upset but I think I was more upset the first time, I really thought it would take. I'm glad I checked this thread because I see some encouraging words about adoption. I really want to start looking into it since I know it's very costly and a long process, but DH is not onboard with it. I wonder what is going to happen if we can't come to an agreement about this:confused3 I'm a very maternal person and I've always wanted to be a mother. I think it would be easier for him to live a child-free life. I'm thinking we might do one more IVF but honestly I just don't want to go through it anymore. We have a consult with the RE in a couple of weeks.

[jjk1107]

Hi everyone. I came across this discussion a few days ago at around 4 in the morning. After reading it and crying, I did not have the energy to post at that time. My husband and I have been married a little over 9 years now. Before we got married, I had already been told by my doctor that it would be near impossible for me to get pregnant. James knew that going into the marriage and was okay with the fact that more than likely we would have to adopt. My sister got pregnant about a year and a half after the 2 of us were married. She is 4 years older than me, so she was in a position to be able to take care of the child although she was not married. She decided though that she did not want to be saddled down with a child at that time. Knowing that this would be a good chance for James and I to have a child, my mom approached her about letting us adopt the child. She instead decided to terminate the pregnancy. I have a very hard time still dealing with this because once her nd the baby's father did marry, they were able to conceive 2 wanted children very easily and now have a 4 and a 2 year old, who I love dearly and in know way have any negative feelings toward. Meanwhile, James and I are still childless. We went to see a fertility specialist about 3 1/2 years ago, but decided I could not handle it emotionally trying to go through IVF and not getting pregnant or worse, losing the baby. We decided to wait until I turned 30 so that we could adopt from China. I turned 30 in September of last year, and we mailed our request for adoption to China in October. We should be matched with a baby hopefully by the end of 2008.

I think what has been the hardest struggle with infertility, at least in my case, no one in my family has ever suffered from it and just doesn't believe that I do. They keep saying that doctors do not know everything. My MIL had the nerve one time, after having been told several times by James and myself that we could not conceive, to say something along the lines of the fact of why are we making her wait to become a grandparent. My parents were in the car when she said that as well as James and his father. I had finally had enough of all of her insensitive remarks and just lost it. I started crying and yelling at her that she had been told that I could not get pregnant and that those comments were unappreciated. She would not talk to me for days as though I had done something wrong. I guess the only people that understand are people that also go through it. Last December I went to see my OBGYN because I had not had my cycle in 3 months and the pent up PMS was driving me crazy. I wanted to see if there was something he could give me to make me have my cycle. Before he could give it to me, he had to do the pregnancy test even though we both knew it would be negative. He came in the office and said "Of course, it was negative." Just matter of factly. I held it together until I got to my car and just started crying because a little part of me had hoped that just maybe it would be positive. But, I should be thankful because I know that we will have our adopted child soon.

Aclov, adoption is not always as expensive as everyone thinks. If you would like any information regarding adopting from China since this is the only thing I can speak informed of, please don't hesitate to ask. When people ask about our adoption, they are amazed at all of the different programs there are to help with the cost.

Anyway, enough of my story on infertility. I am also a DVC member and will be at Disney a few times in May. I will be there May 6-11 and again the night of the 27th. If anyone else is going to be here, maybe we can get together. I live near Orlando, so we are at Disney often.

Thank you to the OP for starting this thread. It is great to hear other stories of people who know what it is like.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, the dreaded phone call from the nurse happened about 1/2 hour and unfortunately it was bad news - BFN.:sad1: I'm upset but I think I was more upset the first time, I really thought it would take. I'm glad I checked this thread because I see some encouraging words about adoption. I really want to start looking into it since I know it's very costly and a long process, but DH is not onboard with it. I wonder what is going to happen if we can't come to an agreement about this:confused3 I'm a very maternal person and I've always wanted to be a mother. I think it would be easier for him to live a child-free life. I'm thinking we might do one more IVF but honestly I just don't want to go through it anymore. We have a consult with the RE in a couple of weeks.



aclov: I am so very sorry :hug: , and can actually tell you that I know how you feel. We were only able to do IUI's, but none of them worked, so I do really know. I thought about adoption, but something just told me that it wasn't right for us, besides we can't afford that either. Only by the grace of God, will we be able to have a baby, is the conclusion I have recently come to. My DH could care less either way, biological or adoption. Well actually my DH doesn't really seem on board for any of this baby stuff anyway, maybe that is why we are unsuccessful.

If you choose to look into the adoption route, you should get a copy of the Adoption Guide magazine, it tells you everything you need to know and even has an article about the reluctant spouse. You can order it from www.theadoptionguide.com, they also have a very informative website.

R Dog Walt: I really find that I have to vent everyday :furious: I don't like this girl anyway and when she is pregnant, she is a real witch with a b. She had the nerve to tell me that I was rude because I didn't say hello when I walk into our office everyday. I just wanted to tell her that I don't say hello, because I don't like you, and my mom taught me that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all :lmao:

deedeetoo, stepdisney, jjk1107: Let me :welcome: you to our little group

:grouphug: for all of us and BabyDust too

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[hematite153]

As for me, my cycle got cancelled due to overstimming in my right ovary (the side without a tube of course, lol), so I've stopped the meds, and will try again in April. I still have time to get pregnant before my May trip to WDW, which would be a dream come true! If not, we'll keep on trucking. We're still completing the process to foster/adopt as well, so hopefully something will work out for us!


I'm sorry Nennie.

However, it's good that you still have time to have a celebration trip.
:wizard:

[Nennie]

Aclov -- I am so very sorry to hear about your BFN. I know what an emotional roller coaster it is. Take is easy, and decide your next step after your follow up visit with the RE. You sound as though you want to give it one more try, but I know how overwhelming it is to sort it all out just yet. Sending you lots of hugs! As for you DH not being ready for adoption "yet" my DH is the same way. I was recommended a book titled "Adoption after Infertility" but haven't got around to getting it just yet. Even though I'm starting the process to get my foster/adopt license, I'm not ready to stop TTCing yet.

Hematite -- thanks for the kind words! Yes, I still have time for a celebration trip (or consolation prize). I'd love to go to WDW and not be able to go on all the rides!

Suzanne -- Thanks for posting that website, I'm going to order the guide so that I'm informed when I'm ready to just go for it.

JK -- HUGS! Thanks so much for sharing your story, and best of luck on your adoption from China! I'm just going to miss you at WDW in May! I will be at BCV 5/19-5/22, right in between your 2 upcoming visits. We go 3 times a year, so hopefully our trips will coincide one day!

Stepdisney and Deedeetoo - Thanks so much for sharing your positive adoption stories. I get overly sensitive about my IF sometimes, and I really appreciate haring about adoption from someone who has been there, done that! Usually, I'm hearing about the adoption alternative from someone who has neither been though IF, nor has adopted a child. Flippant remarks like "You can always just adopt!" tend to just make me frustrated. It means so much more hearing about it from someone who's walked in my shoes! So for that, I thank you!

[aclov]

PrincessSuzanne - thanks so much for the adoption information.

jjk1107 - People are very insensitive especially if they never had infertility problems. I have people tell me often too about getting pregnant like it's so easy. They make you feel guilty like if something is wrong with you, when none of this is our fault. I've had to come to terms with that. That's awesome on your adoption, you have something great to look forward to.

I was just browsing the internet earlier on adoption and there is sooo much information out there. Some agencies have pictures of the babies waiting to be adopted. It's so sad:sad2: I'm just scared because you hear of scammers or agencies promising you a baby and than nothing. I'm just a very suspicious person, so it's great to hear about all the success stories. I'm interested in adopting from Mexico, Guatemala or other Latin Am countries. DH and I are both Mex-Am and speak Spanish. The traveling part would be closer too. But it is costly, i was reading 10k or more depending where you adopt from. Right now, I'm not working because I had taken some time off to do the treatments so I'm currently looking for new employment. It would be great to get into a company with awesome health benefits and adoption assistance.:thumbsup2

For those of you going to WDW soon - I wish I was going too! I could use a trip especially right now. It does make you feel better at least for the time being someplace magical.:yay:

[stepdisney]

Aclov:

We adopted from an agency that had a special program for minority children. We only paid $36.00, a document fee. Some American adoption agencies are looking for families who either want to or wouldn't mind adopting African American, biracial or other minority children and a lot of the birth mothers are choosing mothers before they deliver. The agency was when we were in NC, we have now since moved to NJ. It was a legitimate private adoption agency. Also, for those interested in IVF cycles, we moved to Maryland when I was trying to conceive and, in fact did. I did a lot of research because, as we all know, a cycle out of pocket is VERY expensive. We were living in northern VA near Maryland and my husband worked in Bethesda, MD. We learned that they had something in MD called the Maryland mandate which stated that if you lived in MD and worked in MD, if your insurance covered pregnancy, it had to cover IF procedures. We moved imediately and our IVF cycles (all 3 ) were paid in full including meds! (Those who have had a cycle know the metradin, lupron and progesterone injections are very expensive). Maryland has some of the BEST IF doctors in the country. A lot of them are out of Johns Hopkins. Hope this information helps someone. If anyone is in NC, I would recommend Children's Home Society, thats the agency we used.

[want2bamommy]

My co-worker, who I have been working with for almost three years, told me that she suffers from infertility, then I want to know why then did she get spontaneously pregnant for a second time (this second one is an "accident" she talked so terrible about being preg with this one. She says "it messed up me being able to go to Canada for a vacation") before her son turned 1. Infertile my hind end. She is just the kind of person to pull your heartstrings and then let them slap you in the face (I hate people like her)(I HATE her). She is a "mean girl"
Hugs to everyone :grouphug: and lots of BabyDust too.

PrincessSuzanne princess:

Pricess Suzanne,

I am so sorry! It can be so hard to hear of other's around us becoming pregnant (especially on "accident") when some of us have to jump through hoops and undergo procedures to get there! I have a co-worker (with 16 year old and 22 year old sons) who tells me every few days that I am LUCKY that I don't have kids and they are harder than I think. She KNOWS that my hubby and I have been trying for a few years now. It hurts my feelings that she is insensitive but I am too passive to say anything. One day I might boil over though.

I really hope that you get your BFP soon (and that we all will)!!!

I love that we have a place to come and vent about this too!

Missie
:santa:

[want2bamommy]

Hi there!

I know I'm chiming in here late but just discovered this post.

First of all, we LOVE Disney. We're DVC members, and this year we have 3 trips planned. I love being there, even without kids.

My partner and I have been trying for over 2 years to have a baby. Here's our brief history:

Me: 9 cycles at home (6 with Clomid), 6 injectable IUI cycles, 2 IVFs. Turns out my egg quality is bad. We've never had an embryo made it past day 3- so we've never transfered any embryos. :( Apparently, my cytoplasm is bad so I won't be having any biological children.

Partner: High FSH, one tube blocked, just recently had a lap and she has some fibroids. RE isn't sure she'd be an ideal candidate for IVF.

We just got great news though. My RE has a donor embryo program and after waiting for 3 months we got to choose some embryos. The embryos happen to be the result of donor egg/donor sperm cycle! I'm thrilled. We're transfering in June (we have to wait a mandatory grace period of 90 days).

We have 2 trips to WDW planned between now and then. We're headed to BCV next week, and SSR the first week of June! At least I'll have the 2 trips to keep me busy during the wait!

Good luck to you all out there!


Wow! Good luck to you and your partner for the June cycle!! I sure hope that will be "the month" for you.

I just discovered these boards about 2 weeks ago and I think I am more addicted to Disney than ever, lol. My sister just called me this morning to ask for my help quoting a trip for her, her BF, and my niece (5 yr old). I was so happy!!

Missie :santa:

[want2bamommy]

I know a lot of people on the board have suggested adoption. For me and DH we definitely will proceed with adoption after we give IUI/IVF a go. I have already looked into specific agencies and searched the websites, etc.

DH is adopted (from Colombia, South America). We have always discussed adoption even before we got married. DH really wants to have a biological child because he has an issue with not "looking like his family." It is hard for me to understand because I haven't experienced it but I certainly empathize with him.

One of the main obstacle's I have encountered with Adoption is the cost/requirements. DH is active duty Army and he doesn't make that much money. We don't own a home (only because we move every few years) and most places want us to have $80,000 in assets. We are falling about 50% short there. I will keep looking into it though to see what we can find though.

I am excited because I have a referral to a Civilian Gyno to discuss Clomid and other options. Our nearest RE is an hour away and the Army doesn't cover ANYTHING for Infertility so we will have to pay 100% out of pocket (:confused:). Apparently, there are 2-3 bases around the country that can do IVF at a cheaper rate for us but we'd have to stay there for a few weeks, etc and right now with me working it isn't an option. I guess I'll have to keep doing my research.

Good luck ladies!!

Missie :santa:

[want2bamommy]

PrincessSuzanne - thanks so much for the adoption information.

jjk1107 - People are very insensitive especially if they never had infertility problems. I have people tell me often too about getting pregnant like it's so easy. They make you feel guilty like if something is wrong with you, when none of this is our fault. I've had to come to terms with that. That's awesome on your adoption, you have something great to look forward to.

I was just browsing the internet earlier on adoption and there is sooo much information out there. Some agencies have pictures of the babies waiting to be adopted. It's so sad:sad2: I'm just scared because you hear of scammers or agencies promising you a baby and than nothing. I'm just a very suspicious person, so it's great to hear about all the success stories. I'm interested in adopting from Mexico, Guatemala or other Latin Am countries. DH and I are both Mex-Am and speak Spanish. The traveling part would be closer too. But it is costly, i was reading 10k or more depending where you adopt from. Right now, I'm not working because I had taken some time off to do the treatments so I'm currently looking for new employment. It would be great to get into a company with awesome health benefits and adoption assistance.:thumbsup2

For those of you going to WDW soon - I wish I was going too! I could use a trip especially right now. It does make you feel better at least for the time being someplace magical.:yay:

I know exactly what you mean about the adoption scams! I have had a friend adopt in Guatamala and I have been meaning to ask her what agency she went through. She wound up paying around $25-$30K for the entire adoption and it took a little over a year.

Dr. Phil recently did a show about Adoption Scams (but it was private women (well one in particular) that was scamming many different families at once and she wasn't even pregnant. I would imagine for Adoption Agencies that there must be a way to weed out the reputable ones (maybe the Better Business Bureau or something?)

[B]Good luck in your job hunt!!! I hope you find the perfect job! /B]


Missie :santa:

[jjk1107]

Hi want2bamommy,

James and I do not own a home either, so I was also concerned with the assets requirement. The agency that I used made sure to explain everything that we can use as an asset and it surprised me at how much we came up to. You can use and retirement plans, which your husband should have a pension with the military that would have an amount attached to it and then any 401ks. Also, which is the biggest thing that helped us, every piece of item in your house. This includes clothing, TVs, dishes, any kind of collectibles (being Disney fans you should have a few things from Disney over the years), jewelry, and then cars. They told me to go with what the amount of our renter's insurance was. We have a $65000 policy, so we were able to just put $65000 down as our household property and then add our retirement income and cars. If you have any student loans, you can reuest a forebearance on it and then you do not have to list that as debt. You would be amazed at how much stuff you actually come up with because of what it would cost to replace everything if you lost it all.

Aclov,

As far as the cost of the adoption, ours is about $17,000-$18,000. I am not going to say that this is inexpensive by any means, but the programs out there to help are unbelievable. You said that you are currently looking for a job right now. So many employers will help with the cost of adoption. When you interview with them, ask if they have any kind of benefits. Their is a Web site that is out there, I think the Dave Thomas one, that has a list of companies and what kind of adoption benefits that have. My company reimbursed me for $5000.00. James' company did not have an adoption reimbursement program, so he Emailed his CEO requesting that they implement an adoption reimbursement benefit. He works for a large credit union here in Orlando and every year the CEO takes Christmas wishes for the Christmas party to surprise employees by fulfilling their wish. He submitted his wish to be that Fairwinds would help us to pay for our adoption, or better yet, implement a reimbursement for all of the employees. The CEO sent him a lovely Email explaining that while he could not grant us the wish at the party, he would take it to the Board of Directors. The CEO came back in February and announced that the BOD approved a $3,000 reimbursement once we have gotten back with the child. And then the biggest help in covering the costs is the Tax Credit (that is set to expire in 2010 unless Congress approves extending it, lets hope they do). This credit is currently at $11,360 and goes up usually every year. The credit is different in the fact that it is not a deductible so you do not have to itemize deductions. It carries over from year to year for up to 5 years until the full amount has been used. So if your tax liability is $3700 for the year, you basically subtract the $3700 from the 11360 and continue until the full amount is gone. Once we get back from China, we will not have to pay any federal taxes for about 4 years. This will put extra money into our paychecks to pay off the credit card we will be using when we go to China.

The cost up front can be very intimidating, but if you do a search for adoption on line, you will come across so many different programs to help pay the cost interest free until you start getting the tax credit. Then you would repay it using the money you get from the tax credit when you return. Also, the Dave Thomas Adoption Foundation does grants to help cover the cost, as well as many other companies.

This post is in no way trying to advocate adoption because it is not right for everyone, just helping to explain the costs and ways to help overcome the obstacle for those interested. Adoption is a hard choice to make and once you make the choice (at least for me), it does not take away the pain of not having your own. I still cry often for the baby that I will not give birth to and still have a hard time going to baby showers, but at least I will have a baby to love and hold.

Just a side note to anyone thinking of adopting from Guatamala, there is some concern right now from the US on this, so that program may be shut down. Make sure to do a lot of research before going that route. PM me if you would like additional information on this.

For everyone going through the route of IVF and IUI, my heart and prayers go out to you. I hope that all of you succeed in getting pregnant and having the baby. I know it has got to be tough and that is why I could just not handle it emotionally in my case. I do hope that it goes well for you.

[want2bamommy]

Hi everyone. I came across this discussion a few days ago at around 4 in the morning. After reading it and crying, I did not have the energy to post at that time. My husband and I have been married a little over 9 years now. Before we got married, I had already been told by my doctor that it would be near impossible for me to get pregnant. James knew that going into the marriage and was okay with the fact that more than likely we would have to adopt. My sister got pregnant about a year and a half after the 2 of us were married. She is 4 years older than me, so she was in a position to be able to take care of the child although she was not married. She decided though that she did not want to be saddled down with a child at that time. Knowing that this would be a good chance for James and I to have a child, my mom approached her about letting us adopt the child. She instead decided to terminate the pregnancy. I have a very hard time still dealing with this because once her nd the baby's father did marry, they were able to conceive 2 wanted children very easily and now have a 4 and a 2 year old, who I love dearly and in know way have any negative feelings toward. Meanwhile, James and I are still childless. We went to see a fertility specialist about 3 1/2 years ago, but decided I could not handle it emotionally trying to go through IVF and not getting pregnant or worse, losing the baby. We decided to wait until I turned 30 so that we could adopt from China. I turned 30 in September of last year, and we mailed our request for adoption to China in October. We should be matched with a baby hopefully by the end of 2008.

I think what has been the hardest struggle with infertility, at least in my case, no one in my family has ever suffered from it and just doesn't believe that I do. They keep saying that doctors do not know everything. My MIL had the nerve one time, after having been told several times by James and myself that we could not conceive, to say something along the lines of the fact of why are we making her wait to become a grandparent. My parents were in the car when she said that as well as James and his father. I had finally had enough of all of her insensitive remarks and just lost it. I started crying and yelling at her that she had been told that I could not get pregnant and that those comments were unappreciated. She would not talk to me for days as though I had done something wrong. I guess the only people that understand are people that also go through it. Last December I went to see my OBGYN because I had not had my cycle in 3 months and the pent up PMS was driving me crazy. I wanted to see if there was something he could give me to make me have my cycle. Before he could give it to me, he had to do the pregnancy test even though we both knew it would be negative. He came in the office and said "Of course, it was negative." Just matter of factly. I held it together until I got to my car and just started crying because a little part of me had hoped that just maybe it would be positive. But, I should be thankful because I know that we will have our adopted child soon.

Aclov, adoption is not always as expensive as everyone thinks. If you would like any information regarding adopting from China since this is the only thing I can speak informed of, please don't hesitate to ask. When people ask about our adoption, they are amazed at all of the different programs there are to help with the cost.

Anyway, enough of my story on infertility. I am also a DVC member and will be at Disney a few times in May. I will be there May 6-11 and again the night of the 27th. If anyone else is going to be here, maybe we can get together. I live near Orlando, so we are at Disney often.

Thank you to the OP for starting this thread. It is great to hear other stories of people who know what it is like.

JJ,

I am so sorry! My mother also asked me to adopt my sister's baby too but she decided to keep her and raised her as a single Mom. My SIL and Sis have each become pregnant easily and have had many "surprise" pregnancies and each one is harder and harder (escpecially when the pregnancies are terminated).

I hope that you get matched with a child in the near future! I will never forget what I saw when DH and I flew to Las Vegas two years ago in December. As we were entering the security gates there were about 10 families coming out of security with little girls they had just adopted from China. I stood right there and cried and cried (happy tears) to see them walk through the gates. Their family and friends were all there with video camera's, balloons, signs, etc and it was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen! I am tearing up right now just thinking about it again. I just know that whether DH and I have our own child or gow with adoption that I will have a moment like that too.

As for your MIL I am SOOOO SORRY THAT SHE SAID THAT!!! It was very insensitive and I know how much that hurt you! My in-laws dealt with infertility and adopted my hubby and his brother and she still asks me questions about Grandbabies, etc. We've been married for 10 years but we didn't start trying right away.

Anyway, I hope you will stick around here so we can share your Adoption journey with you.

Good Luck!

Missie :santa:

[hematite153]

jjk1107--thanks for sharing your story.

aclov--I'm really sorry about your BFN.

all--thanks for the sharing and support.

[kikiq]

I usually lurk and read...never post. However, this thread tugged at my heart because I know how you all feel. It took us almost 10 years to have our first daughter and she was conceived right as we were getting ready to adopt. We consider both our girls miracles and god sent.

My brother's daughter (my goddaughter) was adopted from China. When I take care of her, she looks like just like my oldest when she was a little girl. Funny how that turned out...we say that my mom had a heavenly hand in making sure she came to brother's family.

Don't ever give up or stop giving to the children around you. You never know when the smile you give a child might be the only smile they get that day.

:teacher:

:flower3: planning a surprise wdw trip for hubby!

[PrincessSuzanne]

I know exactly what you mean about the adoption scams! I have had a friend adopt in Guatamala and I have been meaning to ask her what agency she went through. She wound up paying around $25-$30K for the entire adoption and it took a little over a year.

Dr. Phil recently did a show about Adoption Scams (but it was private women (well one in particular) that was scamming many different families at once and she wasn't even pregnant. I would imagine for Adoption Agencies that there must be a way to weed out the reputable ones (maybe the Better Business Bureau or something?)

[B]Good luck in your job hunt!!! I hope you find the perfect job! /B]


Missie :santa:

The kicker to this whole story is that the women on Dr. Phil were going through agencies or the proper channels for their state and this still happened. This was what definitely ended my thinking about adoptions. We also can't even begin to afford adoption. We live in a state with one of the lowest adoption fees, but the fees start at $25,000.

I also read an articel in our local paper yesterday that said that the U.S. may ban adoptions from Guatamala soon, because there is so much illegal stuff going on there. :eek:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

I know a lot of people on the board have suggested adoption. For me and DH we definitely will proceed with adoption after we give IUI/IVF a go. I have already looked into specific agencies and searched the websites, etc.

DH is adopted (from Colombia, South America). We have always discussed adoption even before we got married. DH really wants to have a biological child because he has an issue with not "looking like his family." It is hard for me to understand because I haven't experienced it but I certainly empathize with him.

One of the main obstacle's I have encountered with Adoption is the cost/requirements. DH is active duty Army and he doesn't make that much money. We don't own a home (only because we move every few years) and most places want us to have $80,000 in assets. We are falling about 50% short there. I will keep looking into it though to see what we can find though.

I am excited because I have a referral to a Civilian Gyno to discuss Clomid and other options. Our nearest RE is an hour away and the Army doesn't cover ANYTHING for Infertility so we will have to pay 100% out of pocket (:confused:). Apparently, there are 2-3 bases around the country that can do IVF at a cheaper rate for us but we'd have to stay there for a few weeks, etc and right now with me working it isn't an option. I guess I'll have to keep doing my research.

Good luck ladies!!

Missie :santa:

Hey Missie, don't give up, keep searching, the Army does pay some infertility treatment. I had to do alot of searching before I found out what, but I did. That was almost three years ago, but I'm sure things haven't changed that much. My husband was on active duty for the three months that we did IUI's and it picked up some things. Call Tricare if you have to. If I can find my info, I'll send it to you, but it was some sort of Tricare website. They paid for my Clomid and they paid for several procedures that the RE did.

There was also a foundation started after 9/11, by one of the women that lost her husband at the Pentagon. They had infertility problems, but got help, so in his memory, she started the program. I know I have the info for this, and I will look for it and give you the name of her website. I looked up the info, but we didn't qualify, I think it was because my husband was only in the Reserves.

Good Luck to everyone in their quest, what ever it may be. :wizard:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[aclov]

The kicker to this whole story is that the women on Dr. Phil were going through agencies or the proper channels for their state and this still happened. This was what definitely ended my thinking about adoptions. We also can't even begin to afford adoption. We live in a state with one of the lowest adoption fees, but the fees start at $25,000.

I also read an articel in our local paper yesterday that said that the U.S. may ban adoptions from Guatamala soon, because there is so much illegal stuff going on there. :eek:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

Someone else on another board that I visit (infertility/adoption board) also mentioned about Guatemala being pulled from the approved list. This is so sad:guilty: Not only because of all the people who want to adopt but what about the children in the orphanages. What's going to happen with them?:sad2:
I was doing some searching over the weekend and some of those websites have pictures of those little precious babies. It seems like Guatemala is the most expensive at 25k-35k. We can't afford that either. So our next step will be to do another IVF and see what happens.

[DawnM]

We adopted a son from China.

We did it as inexpensively as possible. Only one of us went to China to get him and we did all the paperwork, etc...by ourselves, no lawyers.

I think it cost about 20K when all was said and done. BUT, we get $11K back from the Federal government in tax credits and we get 2K back from state taxes in credits. Then DH's work gives us 5K in reimbursement credit. So we will get a large portion of it back.

Dawn

BTW: I went to Disney a LOT before we had kids!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Someone else on another board that I visit (infertility/adoption board) also mentioned about Guatemala being pulled from the approved list. This is so sad:guilty: Not only because of all the people who want to adopt but what about the children in the orphanages. What's going to happen with them?:sad2:
I was doing some searching over the weekend and some of those websites have pictures of those little precious babies. It seems like Guatemala is the most expensive at 25k-35k. We can't afford that either. So our next step will be to do another IVF and see what happens.


From what I understood from the article, most of the children aren't in orphanages, they are illegally taken, bought, or stolen, that is the whole reason for the investigation and I also understood that they may eventually cease all adoptions from there.

aclov: I wish I could try IVF. We were told that would probably be the only way we could be successful, but we can't afford it and my insurance doesn't cover it. The RE I saw would do it for $10,000 for one try and it is too much of a shot in the dark for that amount of money. I always say I can afford to raise a child, but I can't afford to do what is necessary to bring it into the world. Good Luck and Baby Dust

DawnM: China doesn't deal with people like me, I am overweight and they view that as an incapability to raise a child. The reason I am so overweight is because of what I have gone through to have a child and it doesn't help to have someone who doesn't understand tell me I can't be a mother because I'm fat, that only leads to more problems. Besides I want an newborn. I know that sounds bad, but I won't be happy if I have to settle for what I don't want. I have decided adoption is not the route for us.

PrincessSuzanne princess:

[want2bamommy]

Hey Missie, don't give up, keep searching, the Army does pay some infertility treatment. I had to do alot of searching before I found out what, but I did. That was almost three years ago, but I'm sure things haven't changed that much. My husband was on active duty for the three months that we did IUI's and it picked up some things. Call Tricare if you have to. If I can find my info, I'll send it to you, but it was some sort of Tricare website. They paid for my Clomid and they paid for several procedures that the RE did.

There was also a foundation started after 9/11, by one of the women that lost her husband at the Pentagon. They had infertility problems, but got help, so in his memory, she started the program. I know I have the info for this, and I will look for it and give you the name of her website. I looked up the info, but we didn't qualify, I think it was because my husband was only in the Reserves.
Good Luck to everyone in their quest, what ever it may be. :wizard:

PrincessSuzanne princess:

Thank you Suzanne! If you find any of that information I would really appreciate seeing it. I had searched once before through Tri-Care's website and found there that they didn't cover any infertility treatments but I have heard other information from another TTC board too.

I am extremely anxious for my hubby to get home so we can try again! He'll be home for the standard year (minus 3 months for field time and training) and then have to be deployed again. If we don't get our BFP before he gets deployed in 2008 we will have to proceed with IUI's with his samples, lol. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Thanks again!

Missie :santa:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Thank you Suzanne! If you find any of that information I would really appreciate seeing it. I had searched once before through Tri-Care's website and found there that they didn't cover any infertility treatments but I have heard other information from another TTC board too.

I am extremely anxious for my hubby to get home so we can try again! He'll be home for the standard year (minus 3 months for field time and training) and then have to be deployed again. If we don't get our BFP before he gets deployed in 2008 we will have to proceed with IUI's with his samples, lol. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Thanks again!

Missie :santa:



Missie, know that I am thinking about you and I will send you everything I can find. My husband was sent to California for 3 months just as we started our IUI's in 2004, and we had to use frozen samples. I know that since you are preparing before, things will work out and you will get your BFP. I have all but given up on getting my BFP. IVF is out of the question. I don't know how people afford it and for multiple times :eek: .

I'll get back to you as soon as I find that info.

Suzanne princess:

[kaelarad]

My story is very similar to GSD4Me. I was told that conception and a full term pregnacy would not happen. I have miscarried 9 times. I am a youth minister and have children in my life. But it is not the same.

Now the Disney piece--DH and I used what we had saved for college funds and joined DVC. We go down at least 3 times a year. We are always at Disney at Christmas, because we have no family around. As time goes by Not having children doesn't hurt as much for me it is about accepting and living with the realily. DH and I love DIsney and have taken our niece, a child who is the closest to daughter that I will ever have. We have fun!

Boy am I glad to know there are others out there. I really don't have anyone to talk about this with.

Thanks Everyone!!!

[PrincessSuzanne]

My story is very similar to GSD4Me. I was told that conception and a full term pregnacy would not happen. I have miscarried 9 times. I am a youth minister and have children in my life. But it is not the same.

Now the Disney piece--DH and I used what we had saved for college funds and joined DVC. We go down at least 3 times a year. We are always at Disney at Christmas, because we have no family around. As time goes by Not having children doesn't hurt as much for me it is about accepting and living with the realily. DH and I love DIsney and have taken our niece, a child who is the closest to daughter that I will ever have. We have fun!

Boy am I glad to know there are others out there. I really don't have anyone to talk about this with.

Thanks Everyone!!!


Welcome to our little group :welcome:

I know what you mean about having children in your life. I worked in the Nursery at our church, worked with the youth group and with the children in between, and I have also worked at the church's daycare center, but it isn't the same. I have three beautiful cousins ages 1 1/2 to 8 and I love them as if they were my own.

I took my oldest cousin to WDW on our first trip in 2005, she was 7 at the time and she had a wonderful time. She talks about it all the time now. I also put all of the pictures we took into a scrapbook for her to remember her first trip.

I have been thinking alot lately about joining DVC, but we don't have any funds to dip into, so for now that is just a dream. I have been hinting at going again this year, but I can't get my family (DM) to listen to me. I would love to go in August for my husband's birthday, but I keep getting out voted and will have to wait until December 2008.

Suzanne princess:

[want2bamommy]

My story is very similar to GSD4Me. I was told that conception and a full term pregnacy would not happen. I have miscarried 9 times. I am a youth minister and have children in my life. But it is not the same.

Now the Disney piece--DH and I used what we had saved for college funds and joined DVC. We go down at least 3 times a year. We are always at Disney at Christmas, because we have no family around. As time goes by Not having children doesn't hurt as much for me it is about accepting and living with the realily. DH and I love DIsney and have taken our niece, a child who is the closest to daughter that I will ever have. We have fun!

Boy am I glad to know there are others out there. I really don't have anyone to talk about this with.

Thanks Everyone!!!

Welcome to the group! I am so sorry to hear of your m/c's! I never realized how many people experience this pain until I joined other TTC boards. Dh and I have only experienced one m/c very early on in our marriage and it was a sad time for us (I know that everyone knows the pain).

I think it is wonderful that you and DH took the money that you were going to use for College Education and other children's expenses and joined DVC.

DH and I have 3 nieces (ages 3, 4 and 5) and a nephew (age 9) and we do adore them! I went on a trip to DW with the two nieces (3 and 4 yr olds) and my nephew, along with BIL, SIL, MIL, and FIL this past September. It was wonderful to see the world with them (the girls first time there). I'd like to take my other niece with us one day but I just feel like it would be "wrong" since we aren't taking the other kids too. Instead we are trying to plan for a family trip with my parents, Sister, her bf, her daughter, DH and I (and hopefully a little one of our own?). We are looking at 2008/2009 at this point due to DH's deployments overseas.

Good luck to you!!!

Missie :santa:

[SumMickeyfans]

Hello all...I just found this Thread...hope it's ok to post. As I read through everyone's post I can tell you that I feel for each of you. I know what you have been and are going through. D/H and I have been TTC for almost 14 years now!!:sad2: Many failed IUI's...5 IVF's and 1 failed FET...AND 3 M/C'S...We have been through it all!! In our case...I have Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Our last try was over a year ago...We do have a Beautiful D/D princess: that we adopted 7 years ago here in the states. She is the love of our life and we do not know where we would be wihtout her! I would still love to give her a sibling...We are thinking about adopting again sometime in the fall. You know it seems that just when I get over "wanting to become pregnant" something sucks me right back in. There is just that little piece of me that I can't seem to let go that wants to feel something grow inside me. Am I crazy?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hello all...I just found this Thread...hope it's ok to post. As I read through everyone's post I can tell you that I feel for each of you. I know what you have been and are going through. D/H and I have been TTC for almost 14 years now!!:sad2: Many failed IUI's...5 IVF's and 1 failed FET...AND 3 M/C'S...We have been through it all!! In our case...I have Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Our last try was over a year ago...We do have a Beautiful D/D princess: that we adopted 7 years ago here in the states. She is the love of our life and we do not know where we would be wihtout her! I would still love to give her a sibling...We are thinking about adopting again sometime in the fall. You know it seems that just when I get over "wanting to become pregnant" something sucks me right back in. There is just that little piece of me that I can't seem to let go that wants to feel something grow inside me. Am I crazy?


First of all, Welcome :welcome: and let me just start by saying NO YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, but I certainly know what you mean. I seem to be one of the only ones that has never conceived at all, and we don't know exactly why not, I have my theories. My insurance doesn't pay for IF and my husband does not have insurance at his job.

I am going through one of my pity party times right now, with all of the Spring babies coming along and with my idiot co-worker getting bigger everyday. I don't know how to deal with it and I am having a hard time being nice to her when I walk in and she is laying back in the chair with her belly in the air, I just know she is secretly laughing at me :mad:

I hope every one else is doing fine and we would like for you to drop in and at least say hello.

Suzanne princess:

[want2bamommy]

Hello all...I just found this Thread...hope it's ok to post. As I read through everyone's post I can tell you that I feel for each of you. I know what you have been and are going through. D/H and I have been TTC for almost 14 years now!!:sad2: Many failed IUI's...5 IVF's and 1 failed FET...AND 3 M/C'S...We have been through it all!! In our case...I have Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Our last try was over a year ago...We do have a Beautiful D/D princess: that we adopted 7 years ago here in the states. She is the love of our life and we do not know where we would be wihtout her! I would still love to give her a sibling...We are thinking about adopting again sometime in the fall. You know it seems that just when I get over "wanting to become pregnant" something sucks me right back in. There is just that little piece of me that I can't seem to let go that wants to feel something grow inside me. Am I crazy?

Hi and Welcome! I'm glad that you posted here. I am sorry for your losses! Congratulations on adopting your little princess and GOOD LUCK if you decide to adopt again.

Missie :santa:

[aclov]

Welcome SumMickey Fans:goodvibes

It's stories like yours about adoption that really make me think about adopting. Unfortunately, DH is just not on-board with it. We wouldn't be able to do anything right now due to finances. I hope he will change his mind and be more open about it.

I'm having my own pity party right now myself. Our appt. with RE is next week and I'm debating to go through round 3 of IVF. Since I haven't worked in about 5 months it has set us behind a little. So I feel my focus is to get a job but this whole TTC thing is always on my mind. It's such an emotional rollercoaster:sad1:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Welcome SumMickey Fans:goodvibes

It's stories like yours about adoption that really make me think about adopting. Unfortunately, DH is just not on-board with it. We wouldn't be able to do anything right now due to finances. I hope he will change his mind and be more open about it.

I'm having my own pity party right now myself. Our appt. with RE is next week and I'm debating to go through round 3 of IVF. Since I haven't worked in about 5 months it has set us behind a little. So I feel my focus is to get a job but this whole TTC thing is always on my mind. It's such an emotional rollercoaster:sad1:


I've been on that rollercoaster for the last 5 years and I want off (I don't like rollercoasters). I have gotten to where I feel numb most of the time now and I don't cry as much as I used to. It gets easier after a while, like everyone said (now these are people that have children or aren't ready for them yet, so what do they know), I'm finding out.

I went through 3 IUI's in 2004 and would love to have the opportunity to try at least one round of IVF, but we just can't afford it. If I knew it was going to cost as much for 1 IVF as it did for 3 IUI's, I would have skipped the IUI's, but I just knew that the IUI's were going to work. If I'm ever given the opportunity again, I will skip the IUI's and go straight for the IVF. I want to say I have given up on TTCing, but it is always in the back of my mind. I have a very encouraging friend that has more hope for me than I do and she is always asking me if I am taking my meds. Got to love her :hug: though.

Remember we are here no matter what you decide. :grouphug:

Hello Missie, I haven't forgotten about you, and I should be able to look for my info this weekend.

Suzanne princess:

[aclov]

DH and I have been trying for 6 years to conceive and it hasn't gotten easier for me :guilty: . We were so hopeful that IVF would work for us, especially since the RE said there was no reason why it shouldn't and everything looked great both times.:sad2: I have a best friend who is married and doesn't have any children, it helps to have someone else to talk to. The only difference is that her and her DH have decided not to seek medical treatment or tests and just let things happen or not happen. She always says that she will probably get pregnant at age 40 when going through the change. Sometimes I wonder if maybe she's right - it's easier to just leave things to fate/destiny, this way your don't open yourself up to so many emotions.

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi everyone and that you so much for your replies.

PrincessSuzanne......My Insurance does not cover Infertility either!:mad: Sometimes I sit up in bed just adding up all the thousands of dollars we have spent on IUI's, Meds, and the IVF's....I mean I know it was something we opted to do but we just wish we would have had "better results". I am really sorry about what you have to put up with at your work...Believe me...been there and done that! And dn't you just love the idiodic comments...NOT!!

Want2bemommy.....I am sorry for you loss....and Thank you for your kind words....I will be praying for your d/h's safe return.

aclov....Thank you....It's been awhile since my last pity party...but I do have them now & again. I know what you mean about finances...my d/h & I usually had to wait almost a year between IVF's to be able to afford the next one Your friend may just be doing herself a favor by not seeking medical advice...Unfortunantly...that's when you get on the Roller Coaster!!:sad2:

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi everyone....I could not see my last post earlier?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just stopping by to say hello :wave2:. I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was quite uneventful. I have been trying to find a place to stay in Destin for a couple of nights in May with a friend from work and my mom. My Gyn's office just called and said that I can increase my Metformin to 800mg twice a day, so I'm gonna give it a shot.

Suzanne princess:

[want2bamommy]

[QUOTE=SumMickeyfans;17754903]Hi everyone and that you so much for your replies.

Want2bemommy.....I am sorry for you loss....and Thank you for your kind words....I will be praying for your d/h's safe return.

QUOTE]

Thank you Sum! I am glad that this thread has picked up a bit over the last few weeks. We all know how hard the TTC process can be and it is great to know we can talk about it and that other's will know how we feel!

Missie :santa:

[want2bamommy]

Just stopping by to say hello :wave2:. I hope you all had a great weekend. Mine was quite uneventful. I have been trying to find a place to stay in Destin for a couple of nights in May with a friend from work and my mom. My Gyn's office just called and said that I can increase my Metformin to 800mg twice a day, so I'm gonna give it a shot.

Suzanne princess:

Hi, Suzanne :thumbsup2! My weekend was pretty good, thanks. I wound up going to a comedy club with a bunch of friends Saturday and had some good laughs. I really needed them too!

:cool1: Yay on upping the Metformin!! I am on 2000mg per day (2 500mg pills in the morning and 2 at night). I am one of the lucky ones that haven't experienced the uncomfortable side effects :sick: that some women get. You'll have to let us know how it goes!

Missie :santa:

[SumMickeyfans]

Hello Missie...yes Suzanne...keep us posted on the Metformin.
I never had to take that. When I started with all the Infert. stuff I was started out on Clomid then Serifin...then the shots...Gonal F, Follistim...etc...but never Glucophage.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hello ladies, so far so good with the Metformin. I have taken 3 doses so far and no stomach issues, but I make sure to take it right after a meal.

Missie, I'm glad you were able to have some fun and lots of laughs. Sometimes I catch myself laughing through the tears. In May, I am going to Destin, Fl with a co-worker and my mother for some ladies only fun. Hubby is not real happy, but I told him we could go back to Florida for his birthday in August if he wanted to. He originally said that he wanted to go to Talladega for the Fall race, then changed his mind. I hope your DH will be home soon and then you can have some fun catching up and maybe get that BFP.

SumMickeyfans, I have taken Clomid and Repronex. Clomid only worked on my left ovary, did nothing for my right one (never produced any follicles). Repronex seemed to work well, had several follies, then the RE decreased the dose and I absorbed some of the follies, and I think he was allowing too much time between the trigger shot and the IUI and we missed our opportunity each time. It is possible that I didn't ovulate even with the trigger shot. I don't know if I have ever ovulated, it I did, I didn't have any symptoms. (Maybe I need to start charting) I a taking the Metformin in hopes that it will help me ovulate on my own. Due to my Baloo size, I may have hormones that are out of whack and I did have a big cyst in my right ovary after the first IUI and had to take BCP's the next month.

If I can ever get my AF, then I am going to try taking Soy on CD 5-9, but she hasn't shown her face since the first of February.

Well I better get back to work for now.

Suzanne princess:

[SumMickeyfans]

Suzanne....ahhhhh...don't ya just love it when R/E's screw with your protocol:sad2: Definietly sounds as if he should have left you on the same dosage of Repro. for the follies to keep growing? I'm sure you ovulated but...if the you waited to long between shots...like you said...you missed your window! I hope that this med works to help you get the Big O (no pun intended):upsidedow ....Sending you A/F vibes!!!

Shout out to Missie:) .......Hope you all have a Great Day!!

[hematite153]

Suzanne....ahhhhh... I'm sure you ovulated but...if the you waited to long between shots...like you said...you missed your window!

Suzanne, I share your frustration with this one. I'm reasonably confident that I am ovulating too quickly for the clinic to catch it. My temperature charting shows a dip on the SAME morning that the blood test shows a surge. They then do the IUI the next day--a whole 36 hours after the clue that is supposed to be too late to properly catch ovulation.

I've talked to many of the drs in the clinic and they always manage to convince me that the temperature dip is less indicative than the LH surge and that ovulation happens after the LH surge. Yet, every time the IUI doesn't work (and I bleed an exact 14 days after the temperature dip) I start questioning them again.

I have an appt this afternoon with my dr--she got called to the ER and had to cancel on me two weeks ago--so I'm going to try discussing this with her. For some reason I trust her more than the others. Although my hormone levels surprised us by being good, I do have fibro and it means that many things in my body work just slightly differently from the norm. She tends to be more willing to assume that individuals work differently and have to be adjusted to than the other drs in the clinic. Wish me luck!

[Nennie]

Hi Ladies!! I just wanted to share my latest Dos and Don'ts list!! I just posted it on the CB in the hopes that it might help someone!! Be back in a bit with personals, as I want to catch up with all of you!



Things NOT to say to someone who is suffering from Infertility:

Urban Legends

“I know of someone who found out she was pregnant right before they started their IVF" – I’m here, now, doing this cycle, knowing that someone else made it happen without doing IVF is really not helping me now.

"Never mind, if it doesn’t work, I know of someone who conceived naturally after 5 failed cycles" – that one really doesn’t help! I’m going through a cycle right now and I need to focus on the positive effect this might have on my life.

"You must be having lots of fun trying!" – Actually there's almost no sex involved. There’s really nothing fun or sexy about lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by a team of physicians and nurses.

“You should adopt, then you’ll get pregnant right away” – There’s no correlation between adopting, and having a biological child. If I adopt, it will be because I want to adopt, not because I’m secretly hoping that the stars will align and I will end up getting pregnant.

Religious Issues

“Maybe God didn’t mean for you to have children” – Ouch! Would you ever tell someone with cancer, that maybe God meant for them to die?

"Don't you feel like you are playing God?" – When someone we love gets sick we don’t ask if treating it is questioning god’s will, so why should we raise this question treating infertility?

“I’m morally opposed to fertility treatment” – Good for you. You don’t need to share that with me though, and definitely not while I am in the middle of treatment.

"Oh I could never do that" – aren’t you lucky you don’t have too!

Don’t talk about how easy it was for you to get pregnant

"I can't believe I got pregnant so easily" – And this is supposed to help me how?

"I forgot to take my pill yesterday; I hope I’m not pregnant" – And you are sharing this with me because?

“My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant, maybe you should borrow him for the night” - Uh, no thanks.

“Are you sure your doing it right?” – Gee, you are so funny.

“Here, you can just have one of my kids” – The next time someone says this to me, I might just grab their kid, hop in my car and drive off, just to prove what a heartless comment that is.

Being flippant about how easy it is for you to get pregnant isn't really helpful when we're in the middle of paying a fortune to be injected with hormones that make us feel awful, then having invasive procedures, not knowing if this will be successful. Please keep your pregnancy stories to yourself until we're pregnant too.

Other Don'ts

Don’t call everyday with a "Sooooo....any news?" – When I have good news, I’ll tell you. This is too much pressure.

"Don't be so touchy" – I’m on an overdose of hormones, of course I’m touchy!

"Things could be worse"- Of course things could always be worse, but that doesn’t really help right now.

When it doesn’t work

"You could always adopt" – that's not really the point and I might not be ready for adoption yet. When said in a flippant way, this comment also makees it seem like the local authority is just handing children out like sweets.

"So what did you do wrong?" – I’m under enough pressure without thinking that this is my fault (actually I probably do think it’s my fault, but I don’t need anyone to add to that feeling).

"There is more to life than children" - that may well be true but at the moment it really does not feel like it for us

So what should you say?

"How are you?" – Much better than ‘So, are you pregnant yet?’ which is a very directional question. Sometimes we don’t want to talk about it and ‘how are you’ gives us the option.

"Is there anything I can do?" – There probably isn’t anything you can do but it’s nice to have the offer.

"Can I get you some tissues?" – IVF is emotional in itself, and with the added hormones running round the system we are almost certain to cry at some point.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it” – Knowing that you are willing to listen means so much to me.

"Hug?" – my personal favorite!

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi hematite153.......Don't you just hate that darned 36 hours!! I know I did!! :headache: Too bad we can't make up our own protocols huh!!:rolleyes:

Hello Neenie........I love the list...wish I could have had it when I was first started TTC!

[mking624]

Joining in!!

DH & I have been TTCing for nearly 6 years. We suffered through one miscarriage back in August 2005. RE believes my womb may be "hostile." :( I have stage 2 endometriosis which has also been found in my tubes so that doesn't bode well for pregnancy, either.

We are pretty limited in what we can do regarding treatment, being that drugs typically trigger endo flare-ups and anything more than that is too costly at the moment since our insurance only covers testing, not treatment.

So that's me in a nutshell!

[DznyLvr2005]

Also joining in...
I just had 2 miscarriages in a row. One in Dec at 10 weeks and one in Feb. at 5 weeks. I don't know which is worse, not being able to get pregnant or losing every baby you concieve. It's so frustrating and mentally exhausting. We just went for genetic counseling the other day. I can't wait to hear the results.
I'm 30 years old. I feel that the longer I keep waiting, the worse it's going to be. I'm SO SCARED to get pregnant again, I feel like I'm a bomb waitiing to go off... It's just horrible :(
To all out there who suffered losses/infertility, I hope one day things will work out for you...:)

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi Mary......I'm really sorry for your loss and your endo :hug: Don't Insurance companies just SUCK sometimes!! Mine does not cover Inf. treatments either :sad2:


It's so frustrating and mentally exhausting.
Jamie....you are so right about that!! Best of luck with your appt. I am so very sorry for your losses as well. I can relate to how you feel. Not to I had genetic testing after my 3rd m/c and they found that I had Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Basically means that my embies grow to a certain point then they stop growing:(

[DznyLvr2005]

Hi Mary......I'm really sorry for your loss and your endo :hug: Don't Insurance companies just SUCK sometimes!! Mine does not cover Inf. treatments either :sad2:



Jamie....you are so right about that!! Best of luck with your appt. I am so very sorry for your losses as well. I can relate to how you feel. Not to I had genetic testing after my 3rd m/c and they found that I had Balanced Translocation of Chromosomes 5 & 6. Basically means that my embies grow to a certain point then they stop growing:(

Did they say there's a fix for the 5 & 6 chromosone problem? When I went the other day, the lady was showing me all the scenerios that sometimes when you have a chromosone problem, you are completely healthy and you'd never know it if you didn't get tested. I really really hope that things will work out for you....
I just don't know.... my first miscarriage at 10 weeks was a blighted ovum. Sooooo sad :sad1: We were so happy and planned everything, we picked out all the colors we wanted, the theme was going to be classic Pooh :( oh it's so sad thinking about this...
I didn't feel 'normal' the whole pregnancy, I always felt something was wrong. I had no morning sickness, I barely felt pregnant. At 10 weeks, I bled then I needed a D&C.
I think what may be wrong with me is a hormone problem, but I'm not too happy with my MD right now, because I want him to check my hormones and he refuses. :mad:
Time to switch doctors!!!

[feedindy]

I am so sorry for the difficulties and losses you have all suffered. My heart goes out to all of you with prayers and hopes of a blessing one day soon.

I though I would share our own family's struggles as there is a small chance it could be related. My 3 children and I are all diagnosed celiac disease. In my research of the disease I learned that it can cause unexplained fertility and miscarriages. The only treatment is a gluten free diet as it is a lifelong autoimmune disordered triggered by the ingestion of gluten (wheat, barley, rye and malt).

I mention it because it never hurts to look into causes. It is certainly not something that will explain away or fix the heartache for all of you, but if it helps even one person it is worth mentioning.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hello Ladies, How is your day going.

Nennie: Loved the list and I am going to print it out, because it made me smile. I just love to be told that I am lucky that I don't have children because I can have more things and go more places, well I have never seen a child as a burden. If I had wanted to have more material items and gone more places, I wouldn't have gotten married.

I have been really thinking about not being able to get preg lately because of a recent episode of Paula's Party (Paula Deen) where she brought out her grandson and doted about how wonderful it was to be a grandmother, of course if you could have seen the look on my mother's face, I had a hard time holding back the tears (as I am trying to do now, just thinking about it). It is so hard knowing how much I am disappointing her and how much she wants a grandchild :sad:

SumMickey, sometimes I think these RE's are stupid. Now that I think about it, they never shared any lab results with me, except the BFN's and they waited until I got to work to share that (mean old witches).

I wish a new RE would come to town, well it wouldn't actually help me because I have no more money.

DznyLvr2005, for me it is worse for me not being able to get pregnant at all. I would be able to deal with losing a child, because I would at least know I could get pregnant. I could probably even get a little help from my insurance if this was the case.

I don't even feel like a woman much anymore. TMI!!!!! I could care less if I ever have sex again. I want to feel normal again :sad1: . I want to have a little bit of hope again. I have a bedroom completely full of baby clothes, crib and matching cradle, toys, books, top of the line stroller with matching infant car seat, a car seat for a larger child, and lots of other stuff, all I need is a baby :cutie:, well and some diapers and wipes :laughing:. I finally got up the nerve to box up the clothes and I try to avoid going in that room (it was my room when I was a baby until I turned 5 and we moved to my grandmother's house).

Sorry I'm ranting, back to reality and I must get back to work now.

Suzanne princess:

[SumMickeyfans]

Heather...thanks for you kind words....

It is so hard knowing how much I am disappointing her and how much she wants a grandchild Suzanne.....please, please do not think like that!!:hug: You are a beautiful strong woman and what is happening to you/us is NOT YOUR FAULT!! Life has dealt us a bad set of cards and you are doing your best!! I am sure your mother understands that. I think you did a good thing by putting away some of those baby things..although I must say I was exactly the same way in the begining. Holy Crap...I can't believe that they never gave you any info about your test results:scared1: That is the first thing they would always tell/share with me at each appt.

DznyLvr2005....Yes...defintely switch doc's you need one that is going to work with you NOT against you! They are right about Chromosome testing....you will not know anything unless you get tested....BUT...I WISH MY R/E WOULD HAVE TESTED ME FROM THE VERY Begining and not after 3 IVF's and 1,000's of dollars spent!! My other option is D/E. which I have done twice:rolleyes: ....1 m/c and one failed. Now I am trying to figure out if I want to "go for it again"...Although I can say that it feels so good not worrying about another IVF right now!!

[DznyLvr2005]

DznyLvr2005, for me it is worse for me not being able to get pregnant at all. I would be able to deal with losing a child, because I would at least know I could get pregnant. I could probably even get a little help from my insurance if this was the case.


Suzanne princess:

People have said that to me,but I don't know... I guess I was *lucky* enough to get pregnant twice, the two times I actually tried, I got pregnant, but to lose a pregnancy is just, ughh I can't even explain...
The RN at my MD keeps saying "just be glad you can get pregnant, my DIL has been though so much and 2 years and can't even get pregnant" I don't know, that kinda doesn't take the fact away that I lost 2 babies :(
It makes me crazy with each time I get pregnant, I already have the thought in my head that I will lose it. I've been having heart palpatations, I can't sleep, I think about being preg. again and my heart races. I'm sure my insuarnace would cover whatever it takes, but the emotional, mental thing will always get in the way of any joy until I'm holding my own baby...
Good luck to you though, I hope it will happen for you :hug:

[DznyLvr2005]

DznyLvr2005....Yes...defintely switch doc's you need one that is going to work with you NOT against you! They are right about Chromosome testing....you will not know anything unless you get tested....BUT...I WISH MY R/E WOULD HAVE TESTED ME FROM THE VERY Begining and not after 3 IVF's and 1,000's of dollars spent!! My other option is D/E. which I have done twice:rolleyes: ....1 m/c and one failed. Now I am trying to figure out if I want to "go for it again"...Although I can say that it feels so good not worrying about another IVF right now!!

I know what you mean... I just wished my MD would do a simple blood progesterone test already! That's where I think the problem is!!!! He always just shrugs it off!!! Especially last time I was preg. the day b4 the miscarriage, my progesterone level was 2!!!! It's supposed to be over 10!!!!!!!!!

[hematite153]

Hi hematite153.......Don't you just hate that darned 36 hours!! I know I did!! :headache: Too bad we can't make up our own protocols huh!!:rolleyes:


Yep! Well, my dr has convinced me that I should trust the bloodwork timing. We'll see how long it lasts this time. I do trust her more than the others, so let's hope. She's putting me on drugs (early stages yet I know but I'm afraid to hope too much) and has also added orders to trigger ovulation if my follicles are large enough to be viable and I'm not triggering yet. That ought to help the timing issue.

[hematite153]

"Never mind, if it doesn’t work, I know of someone who conceived naturally after 5 failed cycles"

Nennie--thanks for the laugh. They aren't funny when they happen but somehow they sound funny when compiled together. Why isn't it obvious that you shouldn't say these things!?!

I do chuckle when people tell me, "it'll probably happen when you give up trying". If I give up trying, it's not possible for me to get pregnant!:rolleyes:

“Maybe God didn’t mean for you to have children” – Ouch! Would you ever tell someone with cancer, that maybe God meant for them to die?

Believe it or not, I've heard people say this to people with cancer too. Religion is important to me but this kind of interpretation drives me batty!

Don’t talk about how easy it was for you to get pregnant
"I can't believe I got pregnant so easily" – And this is supposed to help me how?

I've had a couple of friends who got pregnant very easily. Yes, it's hard. However, one of them spent her whole pregnancy avoiding me because she was afraid of making me feel bad. That was even harder. Yes, I don't want to celebrate for strangers but I also want to enjoy my friends' happiness.

[mking624]

People have said that to me,but I don't know... I guess I was *lucky* enough to get pregnant twice, the two times I actually tried, I got pregnant, but to lose a pregnancy is just, ughh I can't even explain...
The RN at my MD keeps saying "just be glad you can get pregnant, my DIL has been though so much and 2 years and can't even get pregnant" I don't know, that kinda doesn't take the fact away that I lost 2 babies :(
It makes me crazy with each time I get pregnant, I already have the thought in my head that I will lose it. I've been having heart palpatations, I can't sleep, I think about being preg. again and my heart races. I'm sure my insuarnace would cover whatever it takes, but the emotional, mental thing will always get in the way of any joy until I'm holding my own baby...
Good luck to you though, I hope it will happen for you :hug:
I'm with you on this. I went through a miscarriage in August 2005, and was told by several people "at least you can get pregnant". It felt like my loss was turned into some sort of "trial pregnancy"...a test run, if you will. I'd rather not get pregnant ever then to get pregnant and then have that child die. The hopes are briefly lifted only to be crushed. It was the only time I've been pregnant. The thought of actually getting pregnant now terrifies me because I've already experienced one loss. I mean I want to get pregnant, but am scared of it at the same time because I know what happened the last time. Such a hard place to be.

All that said, both situations of never getting pregnant and getting pregnant but miscarrying are so incredibly hard and there really is no comparison...each person only understands the pain they have experienced and it's just horrible.

[hematite153]

Also joining in...
I just had 2 miscarriages in a row. One in Dec at 10 weeks and one in Feb. at 5 weeks.

Ouch! :grouphug:

[hematite153]

As for testing results.... I find that the norm is to say things along the lines of, "come back tomorrow for bloodwork" rather than to say "your progesterone level is XX". Yes, I don't have their background with the numbers so I need the interpretation but I have learned a lot from insisting on the numbers.

I wrote a request for the actual numbers on every form and piece of paper, plus called them back if they left a message about treatment without including information about the specific results. Three years after we began this process they now tell me the levels automatically. I'm sure it means they've added a note to my file about me being high maintenance but, if they give me the info I'm fine with that.

[DznyLvr2005]

As for testing results.... I find that the norm is to say things along the lines of, "come back tomorrow for bloodwork" rather than to say "your progesterone level is XX". Yes, I don't have their background with the numbers so I need the interpretation but I have learned a lot from insisting on the numbers.

I wrote a request for the actual numbers on every form and piece of paper, plus called them back if they left a message about treatment without including information about the specific results. Three years after we began this process they now tell me the levels automatically. I'm sure it means they've added a note to my file about me being high maintenance but, if they give me the info I'm fine with that.
These days, Im constantly researching what's right and what levels are supposed to be and then when I go in and demand things from the MD, he looks at me like I'm crazy. BUt I'm only trying to figure things out for myself. I know that a level of 2 (progesterone) is not right in any means. Though he didn't seem to concerned :confused3 This was with my last pregnancy that ended at 5 weeks. I only just found out I was pregnant 3 days before I miscarried. I knew something wasn't right because I took a home test and it was faintly positive. The test done in the MDs office came out negative. My HCG was only 24.
I always do the Basal Body Temps... Mine are usually about 97.3 pre ov. to the highest at about 98.4. I think that's low. Even when I was preg. my temp never got over 98.5. Low temps indicates low progesterone.
My cousins wife had 3 miscarriages until they figured out that her progesterone was low. After she got pregnant a 4th time, they immediately put her on Progesterone and now she has 3 kids.
I'm worried this is the case with me and if they only just checked my levels they would see without me having all these miscarriages!!!!!

I feel like I could be a doctor by now with all the research I've done!

[hematite153]

These days, Im constantly researching what's right and what levels are supposed to be and then when I go in and demand things from the MD, he looks at me like I'm crazy. ...
I feel like I could be a doctor by now with all the research I've done!

It definitely sounds like you need to find a fertility expert. They are worth long drives if necessary--at least for the work-up.

[PrincessSuzanne]

People have said that to me,but I don't know... I guess I was *lucky* enough to get pregnant twice, the two times I actually tried, I got pregnant, but to lose a pregnancy is just, ughh I can't even explain...
The RN at my MD keeps saying "just be glad you can get pregnant, my DIL has been though so much and 2 years and can't even get pregnant" I don't know, that kinda doesn't take the fact away that I lost 2 babies :(
It makes me crazy with each time I get pregnant, I already have the thought in my head that I will lose it. I've been having heart palpatations, I can't sleep, I think about being preg. again and my heart races. I'm sure my insuarnace would cover whatever it takes, but the emotional, mental thing will always get in the way of any joy until I'm holding my own baby...
Good luck to you though, I hope it will happen for you :hug:



I certainly didn't mean to offend you by saying that . It is like mking624 said, each way is incredibly hard, and there is no comparison, and both ways are horrible, but at least I would know that my body is doing some things that it is supposed to. As I am experiencing IF, I don't even know if my body is doing what it is supposed to. I don't know if my AF is really a true AF or just bleeding, I don't know if I am ovulating, I don't know anything anymore, it is frustrating and it is like an alien that has invaded my life.

Certanly my heart goes out to you :hug:, because I just couldn't imagine the pain of losing a child at any stage of life. Believe me, I know about the emotional, mental thing, I'm just waiting for someone to try to commit me soon.

We are both suffering the same thing in different ways.

Suzanne princess:

[Nennie]

Mary and Jamie -- I'm so glad that you've found us!!! This is a great group of ladies, who have all been there!!

Mary -- Have they tried a long term Lupron protocol for your endo? You've probably already tried it, but I'm just throwing it out there! Sometimes I think I'm an RE, and try to diagnose everyone, so look out! LOL!! I KWYM about the pain of not being pregnant vs the pain of m/c. They both suck quite frankly. Best of luck to you!

Jamie -- There's a part of me that's scared to get pregnant again too, but I'm also scared to stop trying, so I'm giving it another go. I was supposed to cycle this month, but I got cancelled do to hyperstimming, so I'm waiting to AF to try one more time. I've had quite a few "one more times" though! P.S. Are you seeing an RE or regular Gyn? I got the feeling from one of your posts that it was a regular gyn (b/c he didn't test your P4)?

Hematite -- Be high maintenance!! The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so they say! Besides they are making lots of money off you, so make them work for it! LOL!

Suzanne -- gotta love the people who tell us we're lucky not to have kids. If they don't know my struggle, I pretend that they are right, and that I'm some world traveller who doesn't have the time for a family. If they only knew!

I know I missed a few people...I promise to catch up though!! :goodvibes

[aclov]

[QUOTE=PrincessSuzanne;17802260]

I have been really thinking about not being able to get preg lately because of a recent episode of Paula's Party (Paula Deen) where she brought out her grandson and doted about how wonderful it was to be a grandmother, of course if you could have seen the look on my mother's face, I had a hard time holding back the tears (as I am trying to do now, just thinking about it). It is so hard knowing how much I am disappointing her and how much she wants a grandchild :sad: [QUOTE]

I know exactly how you feel.:sad1: I feel like such a disappointment because my mom really wants a grandchild and I know it would mean the world to her. My younger brother has a son but he went through a nasty divorce and his ex-wife moved to another state and won't let him see him. He pays child support and has absolutely no rights. It's heartbreaking because we are all missing out on seeing him but it especially tears my mother apart. She crys so much for him. And I want to give her a grandchild to take away some of that pain. Today, she told me that she's come to the conclusion that she will never have a grandbaby. Than I got upset at her because I saw she had a bag of baby stuff and I told her not to be buying anything because she was going to jinx me. I know that's crazy but going through all this I'm even supersticious. I know a baby would bring us so much joy and my parents would be thrilled. It hurts so much:sad2:

[aclov]

DH and I went to RE this afternoon and have decided to go for round 3 of IVF. He's changing the protocol to Follistum and Repronex. I was on Menupur the 1st round and Lupron the 2nd. He seemed optimistic but than again he always is and I guess it's his profession to be. I'm done with AF this month so next month when I get it I will start BCP. Ugh, I just hope this time is a BFP:angel:

[Nennie]

DH and I went to RE this afternoon and have decided to go for round 3 of IVF. He's changing the protocol to Follistum and Repronex. I was on Menupur the 1st round and Lupron the 2nd. He seemed optimistic but than again he always is and I guess it's his profession to be. I'm done with AF this month so next month when I get it I will start BCP. Ugh, I just hope this time is a BFP:angel:

Best of luck to you!! I'm glad to hear about the change in protocol, it's always good to try something different. I figure if nothing else, a change gives me a mental edge, b/c it's not the same old thing again! We're rooting for you!

[PrincessSuzanne]

[/QUOTE]I know exactly how you feel.:sad1: I feel like such a disappointment because my mom really wants a grandchild and I know it would mean the world to her. My younger brother has a son but he went through a nasty divorce and his ex-wife moved to another state and won't let him see him. He pays child support and has absolutely no rights. It's heartbreaking because we are all missing out on seeing him but it especially tears my mother apart. She crys so much for him. And I want to give her a grandchild to take away some of that pain. Today, she told me that she's come to the conclusion that she will never have a grandbaby. Than I got upset at her because I saw she had a bag of baby stuff and I told her not to be buying anything because she was going to jinx me. I know that's crazy but going through all this I'm even supersticious. I know a baby would bring us so much joy and my parents would be thrilled. It hurts so much:sad2:[/QUOTE]

My heart goes out to you, and your mother, but that comment was uncalled for (I know it is hard for her to in her own way, just as it is for my mother). I have let my mother have it on at least one occasion. Believe me, You aren't jinxing yourself, I still buy the occasional baby item and just add it to my box.

Actually your brother and your mother do have rights, especially since he pays his child support. There are many men out there that don't pay chld dupport, but they get their rights to see their children (I don't agree with that, but it happens). I know that he would have to go to a lawyer and possibly the courts, but fathers and grandparents have rights. Your ex-SIL has no right to keep the child from your family. My mother and I went to a lawyer after her baby sister died and left a 5 year old DD to try to get custody of her instead of her going to her father (he is a whole other story). Her mother wanted me to raise her if anything ever happened to her (I'm 17 years older), but she never made a will, so only if he had abused her, could I try to get custody of her. Thank God, several years and many heartbreaks later, he lets us see her again (she is now 16 and looks dead on like her DM). The lawyer did tell us, even that long ago that grandparents have alot of rights. I remember how much my grandmother cried for this grandchild (she was a miracle child in several different ways). I know she is looking down from heaven and is very proud of her, I know I am (she is such a beautiful young lady, so much like her DM).

I am a child of divorce (my father(if you can call him that) put my mother out of her house and set my crib in the front yard (I was 9 months old) and it is very hard, luckily I was a baby when it happened and my father stayed away most of my life. He came to see me when I was 17 and tried to tell me how my mother wouldn't let him see me, which wasn't true. My mom never berated him in front of me and let me form my own opinion about him, but one time he started to say untrue things about my mom and I didn't hesitate to set him straight, well of course I haven't seen him since and that was 16 years ago. I have forgiven him and forgotten him, although I do have half siblings that I would like to meet, but I dont think about it that much. Now as an adult, I remember having such a wonderful childhood, and I want that for my child.

Good Luck and let me know how things turn out.

I have a shoulder and know how to use it, if any of you ever need one.

Suzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

DH and I went to RE this afternoon and have decided to go for round 3 of IVF. He's changing the protocol to Follistum and Repronex. I was on Menupur the 1st round and Lupron the 2nd. He seemed optimistic but than again he always is and I guess it's his profession to be. I'm done with AF this month so next month when I get it I will start BCP. Ugh, I just hope this time is a BFP:angel:

I'm so glad to hear this. After talking to everyone here, I wish I had the nerve and the money to try again.

:cheer2: A little cheering for your next round.

Break a leg

Suzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

[QUOTE=PrincessSuzanne;17802260]

I have been really thinking about not being able to get preg lately because of a recent episode of Paula's Party (Paula Deen) where she brought out her grandson and doted about how wonderful it was to be a grandmother, of course if you could have seen the look on my mother's face, I had a hard time holding back the tears (as I am trying to do now, just thinking about it). It is so hard knowing how much I am disappointing her and how much she wants a grandchild :sad: [QUOTE]

I know exactly how you feel.:sad1: I feel like such a disappointment because my mom really wants a grandchild and I know it would mean the world to her. My younger brother has a son but he went through a nasty divorce and his ex-wife moved to another state and won't let him see him. He pays child support and has absolutely no rights. It's heartbreaking because we are all missing out on seeing him but it especially tears my mother apart. She crys so much for him. And I want to give her a grandchild to take away some of that pain. Today, she told me that she's come to the conclusion that she will never have a grandbaby. Than I got upset at her because I saw she had a bag of baby stuff and I told her not to be buying anything because she was going to jinx me. I know that's crazy but going through all this I'm even supersticious. I know a baby would bring us so much joy and my parents would be thrilled. It hurts so much:sad2:

My heart goes out to you, and your mother, but that comment was uncalled for (I know it is hard for her to in her own way, just as it is for my mother). I have let my mother have it on at least one occasion. Believe me, You aren't jinxing yourself, I still buy the occasional baby item and just add it to my box.

Actually your brother and your mother do have rights, especially since he pays his child support. There are many men out there that don't pay chld dupport, but they get their rights to see their children (I don't agree with that, but it happens). I know that he would have to go to a lawyer and possibly the courts, but fathers and grandparents have rights. Your ex-SIL has no right to keep the child from your family. My mother and I went to a lawyer after her baby sister died and left a 5 year old DD to try to get custody of her instead of her going to her father (he is a whole other story). Her mother wanted me to raise her if anything ever happened to her (I'm 17 years older), but she never made a will, so only if he had abused her, could I try to get custody of her. Thank God, several years and many heartbreaks later, he lets us see her again (she is now 16 and looks dead on like her DM). The lawyer did tell us, even that long ago that grandparents have alot of rights. I remember how much my grandmother cried for this grandchild (she was a miracle child in several different ways). I know she is looking down from heaven and is very proud of her, I know I am (she is such a beautiful young lady, so much like her DM).

I am a child of divorce (my father(if you can call him that) put my mother out of her house and set my crib in the front yard (I was 9 months old) and it is very hard, luckily I was a baby when it happened and my father stayed away most of my life. He came to see me when I was 17 and tried to tell me how my mother wouldn't let him see me, which wasn't true. My mom never berated him in front of me and let me form my own opinion about him, but one time he started to say untrue things about my mom and I didn't hesitate to set him straight, well of course I haven't seen him since and that was 16 years ago. I have forgiven him and forgotten him, although I do have half siblings that I would like to meet, but I dont think about it that much. Now as an adult, I remember having such a wonderful childhood, and I want that for my child.

Good Luck and let me know how things turn out.

I have a shoulder and know how to use it, if any of you ever need one.

Suzanne princess:

[hematite153]

Hematite -- Be high maintenance!! The squeaky wheel gets the grease, so they say! Besides they are making lots of money off you, so make them work for it! LOL!


Thanks Nennie! Overall, after being part of this thread I'm feeling pretty lucky. We had a back-up when my DW couldn't get pregnant. My tests say that I should be able to get pregnant. Our basic health benefits include the full work-up and testing along the way. Our drug-plan has so far covered all of the drugs we've used (even though they do so with a disclaimer that they are not promising to cover it in the future). And, I'm working with a fertility clinic that has some of the best numbers (read cycles with live births) in the continent.

Nonetheless, we've been working on "the baby thing" (as one of my friends says it) for over 3 years without success. I'm hoping that by 'talking' to each other we can add the probability together and get some pregnancies!

[R Dog Walt]

Hi! I posted here a couple weeks ago and then dropped off the face of the earth. No actually, we headed to WDW for a week at BCV and then it's taken me a week to catch up with things. Boy, this thread has gotten chatty!

My heart does go out to all of you. IF is definitely NOT a struggle I wish on anybody.

aclov- I'm so happy that you're getting started again! This is so exciting. I'm glad that your RE continues to change your protocol. I think this helps- to know you're doing everything possible. When do you anticipate the ER and ET will be- sometime in May or early June I'm guessing.

Princess Suzanne- You mentioned possibly ovulating before they actually do the IUI. Does your RE have you do Lupron with your IUIs? I did 6 last year and I was always on Lupron (which seems kind of unusual compared to other women on other sites) which prevented me from ovulating before the trigger. Maybe you're already doing this... If not, it's an idea maybe.

Hematite- I agree with the others. Continue to be high maintenence! I also think that the longer you've been with a clinic, the more aggressive and responsive they tend to be. My clinic, I think, really wants DP and I out of there! No, actually they're really nice, but I think they really want success for us- especially after both of us have so MANY issues!

Everyone else- hi!!

So, we had a great trip to WDW. We got the dining plan which was SO much food, but we got to spend like $120 for a dinner for two at many of the premium restaurants at EPCOT, etc. which we never do especially since TTC.

The real world has been kind of hard to get back to. I'm a teacher so I came back to talk in the teacher's lounge about C-sections and pregnancy. Yay! I'm totally staying out of there!

My cycle is getting closer. But it seems like forever until our DEFET in June!!! Luckily, the week before is another trip to WDW so that will keep me busy!

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Hi, this is my first post on here. I was really touched by everyone's post. I too am childless, but not by choice. My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and we have had 4 pregnancies, and no children yet. I have no probelm getting pregnant, but I can't carry them. Most of my MC happened at around 12-13 weeks. My third pregnancy I made it all the way to 21 weeks, when on 12/31/2004, my water broke. I gave birth to a stillborn boy who only weighed 12 oz. he was the most precious thing I had ever seen in my life. I miss him everyday. I pray for all of us out there who want the joy of a child in their lives. We went to Disney last September and did have a great time, but the only thing I kept thinking the whole time I was there, was I hope I get to bring my baby here someday. God bless you all and keep trying.

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Hi, I'm sorry, I needed to post again. I have decided to try one more time and then I think that is it. Emotionally I just don't know if I can do it again. It is so hard and I just can't go through the physical and mental pain anymore. I would happily adopt, BUT, it is really expensive and my husband and I don't make enough. I think it is a shame that they charge so much for adoption and IVF, there are so many children out there who need good homes, but a lot of people can't afford it. We are also going through a lot with my husbands ex right now. I hate to talk bad about anyone, but, she is just a horrible person, and the biggest liar I ever met. She was outraged after him and I met and got married, and yes they were broken up at the time, so it's not like we had cheated or went behind her back. She then started to play the game with his 2 kids. No you can't see them, I need you to watch them so I can go out, you know how it is. Eventually she got full custody and moved to Fl with them. We haven't seen them in 2 years. I finally found her through the internet and I sent her a message asking if we could get visitation and see the kids in the summer time. My husband pays $500 a month childsupport for them. She wrote me back and said the kids don't want anything to do with them, that he mentally abused them, and all this other crap. It is a real unfortunate situation, because my husband is a great father. He loved those kids so much, and they loved him. They used to sneak around our apartment so they could see my husband. If the kids didnt want to see thier father, they wouldn't have come to visit him. We fought her long and hard to have the rights to see them, but for some reason she always would win. I know that she is brainwashing them, and I just think that is a horrible thing to do. We were thinking about getting a lawyer down in Florida to fight for us, but again, money is a big issue for us. I just hate that because she is jealous, she is making his kids suffer. This really makes me upset because I want a child so bad and yet God would give this unstable person 2 children. I know life is not fair, but seriously, when are all of us gonna catch a break here. I am so stressed about this. I don't want my husbands kids to hate him because of her.

[want2bamommy]

Hi Ladies!! I just wanted to share my latest Dos and Don'ts list!! I just posted it on the CB in the hopes that it might help someone!! Be back in a bit with personals, as I want to catch up with all of you!



Things NOT to say to someone who is suffering from Infertility:

Urban Legends

“I know of someone who found out she was pregnant right before they started their IVF" – I’m here, now, doing this cycle, knowing that someone else made it happen without doing IVF is really not helping me now.

"Never mind, if it doesn’t work, I know of someone who conceived naturally after 5 failed cycles" – that one really doesn’t help! I’m going through a cycle right now and I need to focus on the positive effect this might have on my life.

"You must be having lots of fun trying!" – Actually there's almost no sex involved. There’s really nothing fun or sexy about lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by a team of physicians and nurses.

“You should adopt, then you’ll get pregnant right away” – There’s no correlation between adopting, and having a biological child. If I adopt, it will be because I want to adopt, not because I’m secretly hoping that the stars will align and I will end up getting pregnant.

Religious Issues

“Maybe God didn’t mean for you to have children” – Ouch! Would you ever tell someone with cancer, that maybe God meant for them to die?

"Don't you feel like you are playing God?" – When someone we love gets sick we don’t ask if treating it is questioning god’s will, so why should we raise this question treating infertility?

“I’m morally opposed to fertility treatment” – Good for you. You don’t need to share that with me though, and definitely not while I am in the middle of treatment.

"Oh I could never do that" – aren’t you lucky you don’t have too!

Don’t talk about how easy it was for you to get pregnant

"I can't believe I got pregnant so easily" – And this is supposed to help me how?

"I forgot to take my pill yesterday; I hope I’m not pregnant" – And you are sharing this with me because?

“My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant, maybe you should borrow him for the night” - Uh, no thanks.

“Are you sure your doing it right?” – Gee, you are so funny.

“Here, you can just have one of my kids” – The next time someone says this to me, I might just grab their kid, hop in my car and drive off, just to prove what a heartless comment that is.

Being flippant about how easy it is for you to get pregnant isn't really helpful when we're in the middle of paying a fortune to be injected with hormones that make us feel awful, then having invasive procedures, not knowing if this will be successful. Please keep your pregnancy stories to yourself until we're pregnant too.

Other Don'ts

Don’t call everyday with a "Sooooo....any news?" – When I have good news, I’ll tell you. This is too much pressure.

"Don't be so touchy" – I’m on an overdose of hormones, of course I’m touchy!

"Things could be worse"- Of course things could always be worse, but that doesn’t really help right now.

When it doesn’t work

"You could always adopt" – that's not really the point and I might not be ready for adoption yet. When said in a flippant way, this comment also makees it seem like the local authority is just handing children out like sweets.

"So what did you do wrong?" – I’m under enough pressure without thinking that this is my fault (actually I probably do think it’s my fault, but I don’t need anyone to add to that feeling).

"There is more to life than children" - that may well be true but at the moment it really does not feel like it for us

So what should you say?

"How are you?" – Much better than ‘So, are you pregnant yet?’ which is a very directional question. Sometimes we don’t want to talk about it and ‘how are you’ gives us the option.

"Is there anything I can do?" – There probably isn’t anything you can do but it’s nice to have the offer.

"Can I get you some tissues?" – IVF is emotional in itself, and with the added hormones running round the system we are almost certain to cry at some point.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it” – Knowing that you are willing to listen means so much to me.

"Hug?" – my personal favorite!

Nennie,

Thank you for posting those!! I just love them!!!

Missie :grouphug:

[want2bamommy]

Suzanne, I share your frustration with this one. I'm reasonably confident that I am ovulating too quickly for the clinic to catch it. My temperature charting shows a dip on the SAME morning that the blood test shows a surge. They then do the IUI the next day--a whole 36 hours after the clue that is supposed to be too late to properly catch ovulation.

I've talked to many of the drs in the clinic and they always manage to convince me that the temperature dip is less indicative than the LH surge and that ovulation happens after the LH surge. Yet, every time the IUI doesn't work (and I bleed an exact 14 days after the temperature dip) I start questioning them again.

I have an appt this afternoon with my dr--she got called to the ER and had to cancel on me two weeks ago--so I'm going to try discussing this with her. For some reason I trust her more than the others. Although my hormone levels surprised us by being good, I do have fibro and it means that many things in my body work just slightly differently from the norm. She tends to be more willing to assume that individuals work differently and have to be adjusted to than the other drs in the clinic. Wish me luck!

Hematite,

Just wanted to wish you lots of luck!!!! ;)

Missie :shamrock:

[want2bamommy]

Hello Ladies, How is your day going.


I don't even feel like a woman much anymore. TMI!!!!! I could care less if I ever have sex again. I want to feel normal again :sad1: . I want to have a little bit of hope again. I have a bedroom completely full of baby clothes, crib and matching cradle, toys, books, top of the line stroller with matching infant car seat, a car seat for a larger child, and lots of other stuff, all I need is a baby :cutie:, well and some diapers and wipes :laughing:. I finally got up the nerve to box up the clothes and I try to avoid going in that room (it was my room when I was a baby until I turned 5 and we moved to my grandmother's house).

Sorry I'm ranting, back to reality and I must get back to work now.

Suzanne princess:

Suzanne,

I am so sorry!!! I have been there to a small degree before. For awhile I too was buying stuff for the baby and then my husband said something like "what are you going to do if we don't ever have a baby?" It hit me like a brick and after digging further he was upset that we've been unsuccessful and he didn't want to look at the room everyday. I know you have been through a lot but I hope you have some hope left! We are all here for you!

Missie :grouphug:

[want2bamommy]

DH and I went to RE this afternoon and have decided to go for round 3 of IVF. He's changing the protocol to Follistum and Repronex. I was on Menupur the 1st round and Lupron the 2nd. He seemed optimistic but than again he always is and I guess it's his profession to be. I'm done with AF this month so next month when I get it I will start BCP. Ugh, I just hope this time is a BFP:angel:


Aclov,

I hope that this 3rd round of IVF yields you a BFP!!! Maybe the new protocol will help out. Be sure to keep us posted if you can. A friend of mine from another board just finished her first round of IVF (with ICSI, I think those are the right letters). Her hubby has a minimal sperm count and this procedure with IVF is supposed to be their best bet.

Missie princess:

[want2bamommy]

Hi, this is my first post on here. I was really touched by everyone's post. I too am childless, but not by choice. My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and we have had 4 pregnancies, and no children yet. I have no probelm getting pregnant, but I can't carry them. Most of my MC happened at around 12-13 weeks. My third pregnancy I made it all the way to 21 weeks, when on 12/31/2004, my water broke. I gave birth to a stillborn boy who only weighed 12 oz. he was the most precious thing I had ever seen in my life. I miss him everyday. I pray for all of us out there who want the joy of a child in their lives. We went to Disney last September and did have a great time, but the only thing I kept thinking the whole time I was there, was I hope I get to bring my baby here someday. God bless you all and keep trying.


I am so sorry to hear of your losses! Have you been tested for low Progesterone? I know of a few women that have had multiple M/C's and they finally discovered that their low progesterone was a problem. Now they have progesterone supplements to take for the first few months (and those with PCOS take the Metformin for the first trimester too).

Good luck to you!

Missie :)

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Hi Missie,
Thanks for the info. I know that I have been tested for a lot of things, some of which I can't even remember. I know that my doctor did talk about giving my progesterone shots once a week once I get to 16 weeks. I will ask them when I go in for another consult if they tested for this. Thanks again, any info I can get might narrow the problem down that much more for me. Thanks!

[want2bamommy]

Hi, I'm sorry, I needed to post again. I have decided to try one more time and then I think that is it. Emotionally I just don't know if I can do it again. It is so hard and I just can't go through the physical and mental pain anymore. I would happily adopt, BUT, it is really expensive and my husband and I don't make enough. I think it is a shame that they charge so much for adoption and IVF, there are so many children out there who need good homes, but a lot of people can't afford it. We are also going through a lot with my husbands ex right now. I hate to talk bad about anyone, but, she is just a horrible person, and the biggest liar I ever met. She was outraged after him and I met and got married, and yes they were broken up at the time, so it's not like we had cheated or went behind her back. She then started to play the game with his 2 kids. No you can't see them, I need you to watch them so I can go out, you know how it is. Eventually she got full custody and moved to Fl with them. We haven't seen them in 2 years. I finally found her through the internet and I sent her a message asking if we could get visitation and see the kids in the summer time. My husband pays $500 a month childsupport for them. She wrote me back and said the kids don't want anything to do with them, that he mentally abused them, and all this other crap. It is a real unfortunate situation, because my husband is a great father. He loved those kids so much, and they loved him. They used to sneak around our apartment so they could see my husband. If the kids didnt want to see thier father, they wouldn't have come to visit him. We fought her long and hard to have the rights to see them, but for some reason she always would win. I know that she is brainwashing them, and I just think that is a horrible thing to do. We were thinking about getting a lawyer down in Florida to fight for us, but again, money is a big issue for us. I just hate that because she is jealous, she is making his kids suffer. This really makes me upset because I want a child so bad and yet God would give this unstable person 2 children. I know life is not fair, but seriously, when are all of us gonna catch a break here. I am so stressed about this. I don't want my husbands kids to hate him because of her.


That is just awful for the children!!! How old are they? Hopefully when they are old enough (older teenagers) they will realize what is really going on and want to have a relationship with their father. I would have your DH call the house and ask to speak with them (then have the phone records proving that he's attempted the communication) and write them letters or send them cards, etc. They will see (if the Mom doesn't hide it from them) that their Dad does care about them and that he wants to be a part of their lives.

Good luck!!!

Missie

[R Dog Walt]

Mickey's Main Mami-

I'm so sorry! This sounds like an awful situation for both the kids and you and your husband. I can't imagine how he feels- helpless I guess. I can see how this could add a LOT of stress to your lives.

I also understand how expensive both IVF and adoption can be. We had to save a LOT before even trying. I'm scared to death that the fertility treatments won't work because what money will we have left to adopt???

Also- if it is progesterone, you want to DEFINITELY be on progesterone RIGHT AWAY with any pregnancy. I've been through 6 IUIs and 2 IVFs (never EVER even gotten pregnant) and have always been on progesterone for the cycles, and I don't have a problem with low progesterone.

[SumMickeyfans]

Mickey's Main Mami.....Your situation really is sad and I'm really Sorry :hug: Sounds like something we went through years ago with my d/h's ex :sad2: I hope that this time things will work out for you and your family. You aren't kidding when you say that both adoption and IVF are EXPENSIVE...They are ridiculously expensive:eek: I mentioned earler that d/h and I had to sometimes wait a year between treatments to do another round of IVF!! I have 4 IVF's, and 2 D/E IVF's under my belt!! :rolleyes:


Also- if it is progesterone, you want to DEFINITELY be on progesterone RIGHT AWAY with any pregnancy.

R Dog Walt....yup, I was always on Progesterone too...I took the shots...So much fun huh!!

[R Dog Walt]

R Dog Walt....yup, I was always on Progesterone too...I took the shots...So much fun huh!!

Luckily, I've only had to do the suppositories! The shots scare me (although with so many other shots under my belt, why should I care?). Not that the suppositories are too much fun... LOL:goodvibes

[PrincessSuzanne]

I am so sorry to hear of your losses! Have you been tested for low Progesterone? I know of a few women that have had multiple M/C's and they finally discovered that their low progesterone was a problem. Now they have progesterone supplements to take for the first few months (and those with PCOS take the Metformin for the first trimester too).

Good luck to you!

Missie :)

Good Evening Everybody,

That was my thoughts exactly, I had to use the suppositories after each of my IUI's and would have stayed on it for about 8 weeks if I had a BFP, so I did some research on Progesterone and found out that women that took it for the whole pregnancy had smarter, healthier babies.

And with Metformin for PCOS, I have read that most women take it for the entire pregnancy to help prevent problems with Insulin Resistance and having it get out of control causing late pregnancy m/c's or premature birth.

R Dog Walt, no I never took Lupron with the IUI's and this is the first time I have heard of it being used for that reason. I have only heard of it being used before IVF. I had experience using it for male prostate cancer when I worked for a Urologist, that is when I first learned other uses for it, but never with IUI's. I don't think I ovulated not even with the trigger shots, though. The RE I went to wasn't much interested in getting to the bottom of the problem, he was about getting the money and seeing other women that could afford many multiple treatments, and I wasn't one of those. I was able to find out for the HSG that my right tube is blocked, my DH's count is extremely low (like 100,000 maybe), my right overy wouldn't produce follies with clomid, Oh and the kicker I can pay $10,000 for one round of IVF. That is a joke, where am I going to come up with that kind of money. I don't know what I am going to do. The only thing I am going right now is taking 1500mg's of Metformin, Vitex, Cinnamon, Yeast Fend, and of course Folic acid. I don't have the funds to try anything else right now and don't know when I will.

Mickey's Main Miami, I am so sorry to hear about your loses and your DH's ex is stupid :sad2:, these children will remember that their father cares about them and it is going to come back to haunt her when they get older. They are not going to hate him. My cousin was taken from my life when she was 5 after her DM died, but she is now 16 and has ben back in our lives for a few years now, and of course she knows who really cares about her. So always remember that and, what goes around comes around.

I know whta you mean about IVF and adoption being expensive. My perspective is taht I can afford to raise the child, but I can't afford to do what it takes to bring it into the world. A friend of my DM's told me (jokingly) that if I divorced my DH then we would get pregnant. She was ranting about all of these young girls getting pregnant before getting married and how is is more prevelent than ever before. I know what she means, not just because I see it more now because I want one of my own, but because I work as a Medicaid Representative at a local hospital and we see alot of that. I think it is getting worse, alot of the girls I have seen in the hospital recently have been 14 and 15 years old. I saw a set of 15 year old twins had babies 22 days apart.:scared1:

Missie, some days I have hope and somedays I don't and right now I don't have much. Everyone is talking about their treatments and I'm stuck in a rut right now. I haven't had AF since first of February, but of course got BFN weekend before last. I have had a little more insight since I have joined this group, but now I'm having some issues with my DH and I am at wits end. I can't seem to catch a break. My life is about everyone except me. My DH and DM seem to come before I do and neither of them will listen to me. I'm ready to scream stop and let this be about me for a little while, but no one is listening

Hello to everyone I may have missed and tomorrow is TGIF, I can't wait

Suzanne princess:

[aclov]

Hi, this is my first post on here. I was really touched by everyone's post. I too am childless, but not by choice. My husband and I have been married for 4 years, and we have had 4 pregnancies, and no children yet. I have no probelm getting pregnant, but I can't carry them. Most of my MC happened at around 12-13 weeks. My third pregnancy I made it all the way to 21 weeks, when on 12/31/2004, my water broke. I gave birth to a stillborn boy who only weighed 12 oz. he was the most precious thing I had ever seen in my life. I miss him everyday. I pray for all of us out there who want the joy of a child in their lives. We went to Disney last September and did have a great time, but the only thing I kept thinking the whole time I was there, was I hope I get to bring my baby here someday. God bless you all and keep trying.

I'm so sorry for your losses :grouphug: . I have two friends who have delivered stillborn babies - one does go to his grave but the other one doesn't. The one who doesn't isn't with the baby's father anymore and she has said that she believes in moving on. I guess everyone deals with their losses different. I'm glad that you found our thread:wizard:

I've also taken progesterone -orally, ******lly and shots. I've done this after the IUI's and IVF's.

[aclov]

Hi Ladies!! I just wanted to share my latest Dos and Don'ts list!! I just posted it on the CB in the hopes that it might help someone!! Be back in a bit with personals, as I want to catch up with all of you!



Things NOT to say to someone who is suffering from Infertility:

Urban Legends

“I know of someone who found out she was pregnant right before they started their IVF" – I’m here, now, doing this cycle, knowing that someone else made it happen without doing IVF is really not helping me now.

"Never mind, if it doesn’t work, I know of someone who conceived naturally after 5 failed cycles" – that one really doesn’t help! I’m going through a cycle right now and I need to focus on the positive effect this might have on my life.

"You must be having lots of fun trying!" – Actually there's almost no sex involved. There’s really nothing fun or sexy about lying on a hospital bed, surrounded by a team of physicians and nurses.

“You should adopt, then you’ll get pregnant right away” – There’s no correlation between adopting, and having a biological child. If I adopt, it will be because I want to adopt, not because I’m secretly hoping that the stars will align and I will end up getting pregnant.

Religious Issues

“Maybe God didn’t mean for you to have children” – Ouch! Would you ever tell someone with cancer, that maybe God meant for them to die?

"Don't you feel like you are playing God?" – When someone we love gets sick we don’t ask if treating it is questioning god’s will, so why should we raise this question treating infertility?

“I’m morally opposed to fertility treatment” – Good for you. You don’t need to share that with me though, and definitely not while I am in the middle of treatment.

"Oh I could never do that" – aren’t you lucky you don’t have too!

Don’t talk about how easy it was for you to get pregnant

"I can't believe I got pregnant so easily" – And this is supposed to help me how?

"I forgot to take my pill yesterday; I hope I’m not pregnant" – And you are sharing this with me because?

“My husband just looks at me and I get pregnant, maybe you should borrow him for the night” - Uh, no thanks.

“Are you sure your doing it right?” – Gee, you are so funny.

“Here, you can just have one of my kids” – The next time someone says this to me, I might just grab their kid, hop in my car and drive off, just to prove what a heartless comment that is.

Being flippant about how easy it is for you to get pregnant isn't really helpful when we're in the middle of paying a fortune to be injected with hormones that make us feel awful, then having invasive procedures, not knowing if this will be successful. Please keep your pregnancy stories to yourself until we're pregnant too.

Other Don'ts

Don’t call everyday with a "Sooooo....any news?" – When I have good news, I’ll tell you. This is too much pressure.

"Don't be so touchy" – I’m on an overdose of hormones, of course I’m touchy!

"Things could be worse"- Of course things could always be worse, but that doesn’t really help right now.

When it doesn’t work

"You could always adopt" – that's not really the point and I might not be ready for adoption yet. When said in a flippant way, this comment also makees it seem like the local authority is just handing children out like sweets.

"So what did you do wrong?" – I’m under enough pressure without thinking that this is my fault (actually I probably do think it’s my fault, but I don’t need anyone to add to that feeling).

"There is more to life than children" - that may well be true but at the moment it really does not feel like it for us

So what should you say?

"How are you?" – Much better than ‘So, are you pregnant yet?’ which is a very directional question. Sometimes we don’t want to talk about it and ‘how are you’ gives us the option.

"Is there anything I can do?" – There probably isn’t anything you can do but it’s nice to have the offer.

"Can I get you some tissues?" – IVF is emotional in itself, and with the added hormones running round the system we are almost certain to cry at some point.

“I’m here if you want to talk about it” – Knowing that you are willing to listen means so much to me.

"Hug?" – my personal favorite!

We should keep a running log of all of these. I've heard several of these. Here are a couple more:

"Why don't you wait until you hit menopause in your 40's - alot of women get pregnant when they go through the change" - Does that come with a guarantee?

"Are you sure you want children? Children are over-rated, expensive and alot of responsibility" - No I'm not sure, I'm just going through this whole process because I have nothing else to do and nothing else to spend money on....hello?

I've had embarrassing moments where ignorant people stay stupid things, like:
"How come you don't have any kids" "Is everything okay medically, did you and DH get tested?" "What's wrong - you can't have kids?"
not to mention what DH gets:
"So your shooting blanks" "I guess your equipment isn't working" and other idiotic things that have hurt him as a man.:sad2:

And my favorite "Just relax! Your thinking about it too much" Ugh! How can I relax when I'm going through this?!:eek:

[PrincessSuzanne]

There is a great piece on twoweewait.com that really fits here. It is talking about the price of having a child, or in this case the pricelessness of children.

http://www.twoweekwait.com/community/

I hope this link works. the piece is about half way down the page and it just really lifted my spirit.

Suzanne princess:

[R Dog Walt]

And my favorite "Just relax! Your thinking about it too much" Ugh! How can I relax when I'm going through this?!:eek:

So my mom actually said this to me once- "just when you stop trying, it will happen. That's what happened with (fill in the blank with name of couple)."

Umm... Mom--we're two women- no sperm to have an "accident" or "miracle" with (My eggs are shot, there's little to no hope of this anyway). If we don't try, it just can't happen!

"Oh yeah", she said. :confused3

[PrincessSuzanne]

So my mom actually said this to me once- "just when you stop trying, it will happen. That's what happened with (fill in the blank with name of couple)."

Umm... Mom--we're two women- no sperm to have an "accident" or "miracle" with (My eggs are shot, there's little to no hope of this anyway). If we don't try, it just can't happen!

"Oh yeah", she said. :confused3


:laughing: Maybe she was just having a senior moment :rolleyes1 . My mom walks on eggshells when she mentions it, more or less I try not to mention it around her.

Suzanne princess:

[hematite153]

I'm stuck in a rut right now. ... My life is about everyone except me. ... I'm ready to scream stop and let this be about me for a little while, but no one is listening


I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. You're are welcome to scream here. We're listening! I know we can't change the day-to-day, but we do care!:hug:

[brightspark]

Hi,
Just found this thread, and wanted to say hi. Dh and I are 34 and been ttc for 18 months (not long in the big scheme) dh has had a number of tests and all except the last have shown his swimmers to have pretty much no motility! I see a gynae next week to decide what tests they want to do on me, but our dr has also referred us to an IVF clinic.

We've been to WDW 3 times together and it was really hard this last time (we had dh's first set of test results the day before we went) and I just kept crying... the whole 'just believe and your dreams will come true' theme this year was so hard! It's just not that easy is it. Dh hasn't been desparate for kids, but even he was making comments about 'what if we never have a little one to bring here...'

We bought into dvc last year full of dreams of bringing our little ones along with us... can't imagine never being able to do that.

We have some little disney baby clothes in a bag, which we bought ready.. hope we get to use them one day.

I love that 'things you shouldn't say' post.. lol made me laugh a lot - it's so true isn't it. I hate it when people come up and say 'so you've been married a while - when are you going to have kids?'

Another one that gets me is when someone who got preg really easily starts offering advice and saying things like 'I've got a book you can borrow so you know all the things to do' as if I'm a complete idiot and didn't have all the books long before they even started thinking about it!

And of course the old favourite ... don't worry I'm sure it will all be just fine!

[Mickey'sMainMami]

I want to say thank you to everyone for all the advice and warm welcomes and just wonderful comments you made. I talked to my Dad who is really my best friend in the world and he told me the same thing. When the kids get older, they will come and want to see their father. It is harder for a boy to be turned against their father than for a girl. There is and always will be that father/son bond. My Dad just asks me what are our last memories of the kids and what do you think the kids remember, and I always say we had a lot of fun. My husband came from a large, poor, inner-city family and his father had a drinking problem and used to beat him and his brothers and sisters. My husband will not ever raise a hand or a voice to his children because of what he went through. Plus if I thought I was living with a mental abuser, do you think I would even being thinking about having a child with him myself? Anyway, I know it will work out in the end, I just keep praying. As for me, my friend here at my job went through IVF, her and her husband tried for years to get pregnant and then finally it worked. She was on Progesterone since day 1, I go back in 2 weeks to see the doctor, so I will ask them about it, thanks for bringing it to my attention. I hate to say this, and I know it will sound wrong, but I am glad I am not alone and that there are people who know what I am going through. Of course I wish none of us had to go through this, but at least I have people who understand. Has anyone looked into surragacy? I think I spelled it wrong. I think that's what we will try next, my sister-in-law offered to carry the baby for us, we just have to try to come up with the money to do it. I don't care if I can't carry it myself, at least it will still be my and my husbands biological baby, although, I have the need to be a mother so bad and I have so much love to give that I don't care where I get the baby from, adoption, someone carrying it for me, whatever, I don't care. I hope and pray for all of us that we will all get our babies! I always think thank goodness that I live in modern times with so many alternatives. IVF, adoption, surragacy, egg donation, could you imagine living back in the olden days where if you just couldn't have a baby, there was really nothing medicine could do for you. Also, I know what everyone is talking about when they say about seeing young girls having babies. My husbands nieces, all 3 of them, one had her first at 16, then her second last summer at 17. His other niece has 4 kids and is younger than I am, all by different fathers, and she really could care less about them. His other niece had her first at 17 then the second at 19, and none on them have jobs, they are all on welfare. Although that doesn't bother me as much as the crack hoes on the street having kids and then either throwing them away in dumpsters. Thanks for listening to me rant!

[R Dog Walt]

We've been to WDW 3 times together and it was really hard this last time (we had dh's first set of test results the day before we went) and I just kept crying... the whole 'just believe and your dreams will come true' theme this year was so hard! It's just not that easy is it. Dh hasn't been desparate for kids, but even he was making comments about 'what if we never have a little one to bring here...'

We bought into dvc last year full of dreams of bringing our little ones along with us... can't imagine never being able to do that.



Yes, last week when we were there I started to totally lose it during "Wishes" (the fireworks at MK). Total balling!!! This year of a million dreams is so hard- because I can't just wish and make this happen!!!

We're DVC too and every time we go, I think the next time will be with our child! Uggh!

Mickey'sMainMami- It would be wonderful if your sister in law could be your surrogate. How much would it cost (if you don't mind me asking)?

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Hi R Dog, I am not really sure, I think it costs about the same as IVF probably around $10,000. And, I heard that my health insurance will cover all her prenatal, doctors visits and delivery as if I was having the child myself. Of course we have to come up with the $10,000 first, but my Dad said he would help. When I look into it more, I will let you know the specifics.

[Mickey'sMainMami]

Just another question, why the heck does it cost so much to do IVF?? Yet something like an abortion only costs like $300??? First of all you are taking MY egg which from what I heard isn't that big of a procedure, and my husbands sperm, which for him obviously there is nothing to the procedure but the cost of a plastic cup, putting it in a petrie dish or whatever they do, then put it in a syringe which costs what $20.00? then inserting into me. Again, not really a big deal. I think we should start a petition that we want to see what the costs of the $10,000 is going for and see if we can get the price lowered, seriously! I know a lot of people say if you can't afford the $10,000 to get IVF then how will you afford the money of raising a child in the long run, well I work steadily and so does my husband, and my child may not have everything name brand, but I can certainly keep a nice, clean roof over their head, keep them in fresh and clean nice clothes and always have 3 square nutritous meals a day in their bellies along with giving them all the love and attention they will ever need, along with the bi-yearly trip to Disney that I and my husband both said we would get seasonal jobs to save up for so our child can experience the magic. I mean I don't want you to think we are poor, because we are way past that, but we still struggle at times, who doesnt? So yeah, a lump sum as high as $10,000 up front is not something that I could really do but I will get it but I wouldn't be able to do it more than once unless we keep pushing it back to save up enough money and I am already 4 months away from my 30th b-day and my husband just turned 36, and I know the older you get the more complications can occur, so I don't want to keep waiting, but if I have to go without the designer purse so my child has clothes, shoes and food, than that is what I will do. I just don't understand the high price of IVF and adoption.

[SumMickeyfans]

Oh and the kicker I can pay $10,000 for one round of IVF. That is a joke, where am I going to come up with that kind of money. Suzanne.....I know what you mean...when I did my 1st three IVF's...I travelled all the way to OHIO for them!! Yes, I live in TX...but there was a R/E there (in 2003) who had just opened his practice and was offering IVF for $2800 (((could ot beat that!!)). Anyway...3 years later and no baby...we decided to go to an R/E in Mexico for the other 2 IVF's....Needles to say I am still in the same boat:sad2: !!!

It would be wonderful if your sister in law could be your surrogate. How much would it cost (if you don't mind me asking)? R Dog Walt.....I think it really depends on the place where you go for the surrogacy there are a lot of Internet Surrogacy Agencies. It can get really expensive though...I have read on the (IDOB.org Board....another place I post) that it can cost up to $25,000 dollars!! But if you get a family member...that would really cut the cost!!

brightspark.......Hello...you and your husband sound like good candidates for IVF with ICSI...That is where they inject your D/H sperm directly into your eggs (basically does the work for the sperm)...Have you asked about that?

I just don't understand the high price of IVF and adoption.Mickey'sMainMami.......join the club hun!!! I lost count on how much we have spent on IUI/IVF/D/E procedures:rolleyes: ...But I THANK GOD everyday for our D/D (we adopted 7 years ago) It was an Open Adoption. The adoption was not as expensive as we thought it would be (don't mean to sound tacky, it was around $15,000) and we do not regret any penny of it!! We do not know where we woudl be without her today....I really think she is the reason I have not gone insane!!!

hematite153....Hi hope all is well....

[hematite153]

I think we should start a petition that we want to see what the costs of the $10,000 is going for and see if we can get the price lowered, seriously!

If they aren't giving you a price breakdown then you should definitely ask for it. (And, if they can't provide it consider a different dr.)

We were given a VERY detailed set of information about possible costs should we do IVF. It includes the costs of ALL drugs we might need (some of which our plan might cover), includes costs for ICSI even though we are using donor sperm and shouldn't need it, etc. The only costs it didn't list were the tests that they can bill directly to government health insurance that we never see. Grand total: roughly $6000. However, I'd bet that if you added in the stuff that the government pays for it would reach $10000. Every step of their pricing chart seemed reasonable and as low as they could make it. (I've even learned to use the in-house pharmacy because I save money that way.)

Again--I'm lucky to be working with the clinic that I am.

[PrincessSuzanne]

I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. You're are welcome to scream here. We're listening! I know we can't change the day-to-day, but we do care!:hug:



Thank you for being so supportive. I have really found a great group here. I hate that we all have to go through this, but it is nice to have each other :grouphug:

Suzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi,
Just found this thread, and wanted to say hi. Dh and I are 34 and been ttc for 18 months (not long in the big scheme) dh has had a number of tests and all except the last have shown his swimmers to have pretty much no motility! I see a gynae next week to decide what tests they want to do on me, but our dr has also referred us to an IVF clinic.

We've been to WDW 3 times together and it was really hard this last time (we had dh's first set of test results the day before we went) and I just kept crying... the whole 'just believe and your dreams will come true' theme this year was so hard! It's just not that easy is it. Dh hasn't been desparate for kids, but even he was making comments about 'what if we never have a little one to bring here...'

We bought into dvc last year full of dreams of bringing our little ones along with us... can't imagine never being able to do that.

We have some little disney baby clothes in a bag, which we bought ready.. hope we get to use them one day.

I love that 'things you shouldn't say' post.. lol made me laugh a lot - it's so true isn't it. I hate it when people come up and say 'so you've been married a while - when are you going to have kids?'

Another one that gets me is when someone who got preg really easily starts offering advice and saying things like 'I've got a book you can borrow so you know all the things to do' as if I'm a complete idiot and didn't have all the books long before they even started thinking about it!

And of course the old favourite ... don't worry I'm sure it will all be just fine!



Welcome to our group, and know we are here for you. Each of us has our own story of IF and have been through different treatment regimes (?sp), but in the end, we all have one goal and that is to be mothers.

I thought that when we last went to WDW, it would be hard (we took my 7 year old cousin on our first trip) to see all of the children, but I was so focused on what I wanted to do and see, that I didn't seem to notice the children, except a few times and they were being so cute, I couldn't get upset. I do look forward to the day I can take my child to WDW, but if that never happens, I will still enjoy the magic for myself.

I think I could open a book store with all of the books that I have, don't think I need any more.



I have found a clinic in India that only charges $3000 to $5000 for IVF, because doctors over there and in other foreign countries don't need to make a huge profit that the U.S. doctors feel they have to make. I am deathly afraid of flying, or I might go over there, you only have to be there for like 10 days to 2 weeks, of course you have to take your sample with you packed in dry ice, if your partner can't go with you. They can even arrange to have alot of the pre-procedure blood work done here so that you only have to go for a short stay.

I read an article recently, can't remember where, about women in the U.S. paying women in I think it was India to carry a baby for them It only costs about $5,000 and that is a 1 year salary for these women, they are happy to do it for us, many of them have lost their husband and have several children of their own, which is one of the requirements. This allows them to make a better life for their families.

I am close to Atlanta, and they have several clinics, but they all require that you have to be skinny to go through their program. That seems like discrimination to me. They have 2 and 3 cycle programs and if they don't work, of course you get most of your money back, but I of course don't qualify because I don't fit their image requirements

I hope everyone is having a great day, well I should say evening now.

Suzanne princess:

[R Dog Walt]

Yes, IVF is expensive- but then again there is a lot to it and a lot that can go wrong. I agree that your RE should give you a breakdown. My IVF cycle was $9750 ($7000 for IVF + anesthesia+ ICSI- we used donor sperm but still did ICSI- based on a previous IVF cycle they thought my egg shells might be hard to penetrate). I wish I worked for a company that had infertility coverage or lived in an IVF mandated state. But alas, we don't... So that brings us to a HELOC and saving like crazy to afford the treatment. Luckily, my DEFET cycle is "reasonable"- "only" $2300! :rotfl:

Suzanne- I'm sorry that they have such stringent requirements at the clinics near your house. This does seem like discrimination. I'm wary of doing the shared risk (2-3 cycle programs) anyway because they require that you continue essentially the same course of treatment. At my clinic, if I had done one of these, I would be stuck doing 2 more cycles of IVF that more than likely wouldn't work for me (my embryos didn't make it transfer- poor egg quality). I couldn't have switched to donor eggs or embryos. So essentially I'm glad that I didn't do it. Hindsight is always 20/20. KWIM?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne- I'm sorry that they have such stringent requirements at the clinics near your house. This does seem like discrimination. I'm wary of doing the shared risk (2-3 cycle programs) anyway because they require that you continue essentially the same course of treatment. At my clinic, if I had done one of these, I would be stuck doing 2 more cycles of IVF that more than likely wouldn't work for me (my embryos didn't make it transfer- poor egg quality). I couldn't have switched to donor eggs or embryos. So essentially I'm glad that I didn't do it. Hindsight is always 20/20. KWIM?



I'm glad you told me that, because of course they don't tell that on their website. But then again, I didn't pay alot of attention after I saw I didn't qualify because I didn't fit the image. We would probably have to have ICSI, because DH's little guys aren't great.

I hate to sound stupid, but what is DEFET?

Suzanne princess:

[R Dog Walt]

I hate to sound stupid, but what is DEFET?

Suzanne princess:

I don't think you sound stupid at all! It's a donor embryo frozen embryo transfer. Couples who were finished with their embryos at our clinic "donated" their extra embryos. So in June, I'm doing a frozen cycle with 2 embryos donated from another couple. My embryos were the result of a donor egg/donor sperm IVF cycle so I feel really fortunate. We only have to pay the cost of the frozen cycle. It's a wonderful program that my RE runs- the embryos are a straight donation. I feel so fortunate that other couples have donated so we have this opportunity.

I'm not saying all shared risk is bad, but make sure you look at all of the fine print. I've heard many women sing it's praises! But for me, it would have been a bad deal in hindsight because my eggs have little to no chance of producing a viable embryo that could sustain a pregnancy.

[DznyLvr2005]

Just another question, why the heck does it cost so much to do IVF?? Yet something like an abortion only costs like $300??? First of all you are taking MY egg which from what I heard isn't that big of a procedure, and my husbands sperm, which for him obviously there is nothing to the procedure but the cost of a plastic cup, putting it in a petrie dish or whatever they do, then put it in a syringe which costs what $20.00? then inserting into me. Again, not really a big deal. I think we should start a petition that we want to see what the costs of the $10,000 is going for and see if we can get the price lowered, seriously! I know a lot of people say if you can't afford the $10,000 to get IVF then how will you afford the money of raising a child in the long run, well I work steadily and so does my husband, and my child may not have everything name brand, but I can certainly keep a nice, clean roof over their head, keep them in fresh and clean nice clothes and always have 3 square nutritous meals a day in their bellies along with giving them all the love and attention they will ever need, along with the bi-yearly trip to Disney that I and my husband both said we would get seasonal jobs to save up for so our child can experience the magic. I mean I don't want you to think we are poor, because we are way past that, but we still struggle at times, who doesnt? So yeah, a lump sum as high as $10,000 up front is not something that I could really do but I will get it but I wouldn't be able to do it more than once unless we keep pushing it back to save up enough money and I am already 4 months away from my 30th b-day and my husband just turned 36, and I know the older you get the more complications can occur, so I don't want to keep waiting, but if I have to go without the designer purse so my child has clothes, shoes and food, than that is what I will do. I just don't understand the high price of IVF and adoption.

I think it's because they do chromosone analysis on the sperm and egg to make sure they are 'healthy'... Chromosone analysis costs ALOT of money... INSURANCE SHOULD COVER THIS!!!! IT's not fair!
We just went through genetic testing because I keep having miscarriages and the genetetist said that the tests we had just to analyise costs over $4000... thank god insurance covers (I HOPE, it's what they told me!!!)

[PrincessSuzanne]

I don't think you sound stupid at all! It's a donor embryo frozen embryo transfer. Couples who were finished with their embryos at our clinic "donated" their extra embryos. So in June, I'm doing a frozen cycle with 2 embryos donated from another couple. My embryos were the result of a donor egg/donor sperm IVF cycle so I feel really fortunate. We only have to pay the cost of the frozen cycle. It's a wonderful program that my RE runs- the embryos are a straight donation. I feel so fortunate that other couples have donated so we have this opportunity.

I'm not saying all shared risk is bad, but make sure you look at all of the fine print. I've heard many women sing it's praises! But for me, it would have been a bad deal in hindsight because my eggs have little to no chance of producing a viable embryo that could sustain a pregnancy.



I have heard of that now that you decoded the acronym for me. The RE I saw is all about money. I don't know what condition my eggs are in, they have never been tested. I have had numerous blood tests, an HSG, US's, DH SA, but beyond that nothing else has been tested, and many of those weren't discussed with me. I feel like I don't know much more today then I did when I was going through the procedure 2 1/2 years ago. I haven't shared this yet, but we used donor sperm on our 2nd and 3rd attempts, so now the more I think about it, the more I think I am the one with the problem. I wish I had the guts and the money to go back, or find another RE.


Suzanne princess:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just another question, why the heck does it cost so much to do IVF?? Yet something like an abortion only costs like $300??? First of all you are taking MY egg which from what I heard isn't that big of a procedure, and my husbands sperm, which for him obviously there is nothing to the procedure but the cost of a plastic cup, putting it in a petrie dish or whatever they do, then put it in a syringe which costs what $20.00? then inserting into me. Again, not really a big deal



I actually thought about trying an IUI using a turkey baster. :lmao:. That syringe probably cost about $1.00. I don't know why we can't get together and create our own clinic :wizard: :rotfl2:

Now who could we get to be our RE?

Suzanne princess:

[hematite153]

I wish I had the guts and the money to go back, or find another RE.


When you are ready to go back, going back to another dr/clinic might be worth doing. (And/or be high maintenance and tell your dr that you want more information about the cycles you've already done.)

[hematite153]

I actually thought about trying an IUI using a turkey baster. :lmao:. That syringe probably cost about $1.00. I don't know why we can't get together and create our own clinic :wizard: :rotfl2:


While this looks like it was intended as a joke, I actually have a friend who is pregnant right now and got pregnant this way. (Not with a turkey baster but with syringes purchased and used at home.) She called it "artistic insemination".

Only problem is, she had no facilities for other IF treatments and, because it's not washed, is supposed to be placed just outside the cervix (some people risk this but infection could put a permanent end to pregnancy dreams so I don't think it's worthwhile). So, you'd have to do multiple inseminations every month. She said that "artistic insemination" has better odds of success. But, I wonder if that's about who's trying it. (It still took her about 6 months which is similar to averages for IUI through fertility clinics.)

But, for those of you who are taking treatment breaks for financial reasons it couldn't hurt to try during the break. (Well, it could hurt emotionally if you're like me....)

[PrincessSuzanne]

While this looks like it was intended as a joke, I actually have a friend who is pregnant right now and got pregnant this way. (Not with a turkey baster but with syringes purchased and used at home.) She called it "artistic insemination".

Only problem is, she had no facilities for other IF treatments and, because it's not washed, is supposed to be placed just outside the cervix (some people risk this but infection could put a permanent end to pregnancy dreams so I don't think it's worthwhile). So, you'd have to do multiple inseminations every month. She said that "artistic insemination" has better odds of success. But, I wonder if that's about who's trying it. (It still took her about 6 months which is similar to averages for IUI through fertility clinics.)

But, for those of you who are taking treatment breaks for financial reasons it couldn't hurt to try during the break. (Well, it could hurt emotionally if you're like me....)



It was actually, because it was a sort of running joke for me when I was going through my IUI's. I thought it was a great way to save money, but of course, it doesn't seem that it would work for me either. That is one home remedy I am not willing to try.:thumbsup2

Suzanne princess:

[notafan]

Just saw the topic thread and don't usually come here. DW and I were on the fertilethoughts.com website a lot when we were TTC. Good support there. Best wishes in your journeys.

[aclov]

Just saw the topic thread and don't usually come here. DW and I were on the fertilethoughts.com website a lot when we were TTC. Good support there. Best wishes in your journeys.

I just found this website and there seems to be tons of information. I usually post on another IVF board (can't remember the name) but I think it's UK based because alot of Europeans post on there. Not that there's anything wrong with that - it just shows that other people in the world are going through the same misfortune.:sad2:

[aclov]

Yes, IVF is expensive- but then again there is a lot to it and a lot that can go wrong. I agree that your RE should give you a breakdown. My IVF cycle was $9750 ($7000 for IVF + anesthesia+ ICSI- we used donor sperm but still did ICSI- based on a previous IVF cycle they thought my egg shells might be hard to penetrate). I wish I worked for a company that had infertility coverage or lived in an IVF mandated state. But alas, we don't... So that brings us to a HELOC and saving like crazy to afford the treatment. Luckily, my DEFET cycle is "reasonable"- "only" $2300! :rotfl:


Don't forget the drugs that go into a IVF cycle and injectibles are very expensive. I had to pay out of pocket for Menupor and it was $740:scared1: for about 7 vials. I don't think it's only the dr's that are trying to make money (I'm not saying ALL of them are like this) but also the pharmacetical(sp?) companies. Some RE's will give you a break on the cost if you do multiple cycles and I know someone on another board that did the shared risk program and is preg from her 1st IVF cycle. She will have to pay more but she said it's worth it for her. I wouldn't be able to do IVF if it wasn't for new insurance from an employer that I started last Oct., I actually got downsized and continued with Cobra which is expensive. I'm still not working but currently looking. Ugh, everything cost so much!:guilty:

[aclov]

Hi,
Just found this thread, and wanted to say hi. Dh and I are 34 and been ttc for 18 months (not long in the big scheme) dh has had a number of tests and all except the last have shown his swimmers to have pretty much no motility! I see a gynae next week to decide what tests they want to do on me, but our dr has also referred us to an IVF clinic.

We've been to WDW 3 times together and it was really hard this last time (we had dh's first set of test results the day before we went) and I just kept crying... the whole 'just believe and your dreams will come true' theme this year was so hard! It's just not that easy is it. Dh hasn't been desparate for kids, but even he was making comments about 'what if we never have a little one to bring here...'

We bought into dvc last year full of dreams of bringing our little ones along with us... can't imagine never being able to do that.

We have some little disney baby clothes in a bag, which we bought ready.. hope we get to use them one day.

I love that 'things you shouldn't say' post.. lol made me laugh a lot - it's so true isn't it. I hate it when people come up and say 'so you've been married a while - when are you going to have kids?'

Another one that gets me is when someone who got preg really easily starts offering advice and saying things like 'I've got a book you can borrow so you know all the things to do' as if I'm a complete idiot and didn't have all the books long before they even started thinking about it!

And of course the old favourite ... don't worry I'm sure it will all be just fine!

Hi Brightspark - Welcome to this thread:grouphug:

Dh and I also own DVC and I know how difficult it is to wonder if you will every bring a child. I actually purchased a year before we got married in hopes to preplan ahead for some magical memories. Dh and I never went to WDW as children, our parents could not afford to take us so we wanted something better for our children. Dh has gotten to the point where he doesn't even care to go to the parks anymore, his attitude is that until he has a child he will set foot in there. I have been thinking of selling because it defeats the purpose of having DVC, and I actually did sell one of my contracts. I do love WDW and I can't see myself selling the other one so I guess I'll just go with my friends or family for now.

[aclov]

Oh, I just want to mention real quick about the at-home kit or doing-it-yourself syringes. I received a DVD and letter from a company and I can't remember the name, it was Conception something. I didn't see the DVD but the letter explained about a cup that you insert in the cervix and how many people have had success doing it at home this way. The cost was about $400. I guess this sounds better than a turkey baster:rotfl:

[R Dog Walt]

While this looks like it was intended as a joke, I actually have a friend who is pregnant right now and got pregnant this way. (Not with a turkey baster but with syringes purchased and used at home.) She called it "artistic insemination".

Only problem is, she had no facilities for other IF treatments and, because it's not washed, is supposed to be placed just outside the cervix (some people risk this but infection could put a permanent end to pregnancy dreams so I don't think it's worthwhile). So, you'd have to do multiple inseminations every month. She said that "artistic insemination" has better odds of success. But, I wonder if that's about who's trying it. (It still took her about 6 months which is similar to averages for IUI through fertility clinics.)


This is how DP and I started out actually!! We used frozen sperm, but we'd go to the cryobank, seatbelt in the cryobank, bring it home, and use a syringe to inseminate. When I first visited the RE, he actually suggested this! We used OPKs and did do 2 inseminations each month. We did this for quite a few months while we were getting some intial testing done and waiting to start the injectable IUI cycles.

aclov- I hate the cost of the meds too! I think I spent about $300-600 out of pocket a month last year while doing 6 injectable IUI cycles and 1 IVF. :scared1: I was fortunate that I was always a good responder and had lower doses than others. Luckily, my insurance paid for a portion of the meds too. I agree that the pharmaceutical companies are making a lot of money!

[PrincessSuzanne]

:offtopic: I am so off topic right now, but I'm so excited :jumping1: I just booked a short trip to WDW for My DH's Birthday :bday: in August. I feel like I have hit the lottery. He wanted to go to Panama City Beach, but I figured out how to go to WDW for just a little more money. I am really excited :cheer2: ,and I think we might even be able to go the the Pirate pirate: and Princess princess: Party. party:

Suzanne princess:

[hematite153]

:offtopic: I am so off topic right now, but I'm so excited :jumping1: I just booked a short trip to WDW for My DH's Birthday :bday: in August. ...

:cheer2::yay::cheer2:pirate:princess::cheer2::yay: :cheer2:

[R Dog Walt]

:offtopic: I am so off topic right now, but I'm so excited :jumping1: I just booked a short trip to WDW for My DH's Birthday :bday: in August. I feel like I have hit the lottery. He wanted to go to Panama City Beach, but I figured out how to go to WDW for just a little more money. I am really excited :cheer2: ,and I think we might even be able to go the the Pirate pirate: and Princess princess: Party. party:

Suzanne princess:

Woo hoo! :cool1: :yay: Sounds awesome! I hear the Pirate and Princess parties are excellent!!! Where are you staying?

What a great trip to look forward to!

[SumMickeyfans]

I am so off topic right now, but I'm so excited I just booked a short trip to WDW for My DH's Birthday in August.

Good for you Suzanne!!! :banana: :cool1: I am also going in August but I am going the 1st week! Hope you have a FABULOUS time:woohoo: :thumbsup2

Hello to everyone else out there!!!

[brightspark]

Hi there, well dh and I just got back from a gynae appointment! Feel rubbish.. had the lovely internal exam to check everything ok - which thankfully it is, but he's now putting me on a 3-4 month waiting list to check my tubes... Also dh's last SA was so much better that he wants him to wait another 4 months for another one to see what happens to that. I'm 34 and fed up of waiting on more tests... I want to get on with this whole thing... :mad:

Anyone else fed up with the waiting.

Sorry girls taht I've not had the chance to read all the posts yet.. kinda busy here. I sometimes visit another site to babycentre.com (or I use the uk one) but they have an ivf board which is quite good. It's a busy site so lots of people to chat to.

[hematite153]

Hi there, well dh and I just got back from a gynae appointment! Feel rubbish.. had the lovely internal exam to check everything ok - which thankfully it is, but he's now putting me on a 3-4 month waiting list to check my tubes... Also dh's last SA was so much better that he wants him to wait another 4 months for another one to see what happens to that. I'm 34 and fed up of waiting on more tests... I want to get on with this whole thing... :mad:

Anyone else fed up with the waiting.


Definitely! I'm really glad we started working me up about 7 months before we were ready to give up on my DW. It meant that we got a reasonably smooth transition--we've managed 3 tries in the 7 months since we switched. Before, I started all of this I thought you got to try every month--silly me!

However, along the way, we waited a long time (several times) for my DW's test results. Once we waited 3 months for an MRI that didn't even provide any information! Another time we waited 4 months for surgery that got cancelled about 30 minutes before she was due to go in--i.e. after being fully prep'd. Then 1 month to reschedule surgery--1 month by agreeing to have a different surgeon. All to discover that she didn't actually need surgery--not discovered until the post-surgery analysis!

I am fortunate, though, that my dr has a habit of discussing the next 2-3 interventions when we meet with her. So, she says, let's try X. If X works as planned continue it for 3 tries. However, if X causes symptom Y then we should do Z. Tell the nurses that you have already discussed it with me and you understand what is happening. Tell them to give me your file and I will write the prescription.

One thing to consider with regards to the tube-testing is that they are usually trying to do the test within a fairly narrow window of your cycle. This makes it hard to schedule. I was initially bumped to the next month a bunch of times until I hit a nurse who read my file more thoroughly and noticed that the timing wasn't important. The window they give you is about making sure they don't interupt a spontaneous pregnancy. You could probably get them to test in a wider window (meaning you could take a cancellation) if you agreed not to have sex. Might not matter though if you are waiting for a SA anyway. Just a thought.

[brightspark]

Oh dear it's such a minefield... the gynae didn't even talk about my cycle with me, just that he's going to book me in for an x-ray, but if thats inconclusive they'll do a laparoscopy... But there was no mention that it had to be at a particular time of the month. We have a relation who is a clerk to the the gynae ward at the hospital, so she's going to try and bump our names up the list (she did that for this appointment). I like to be in control and this is all so frustrating.

Thanks for being nice to me!

[hematite153]

Oh dear it's such a minefield... the gynae didn't even talk about my cycle with me, just that he's going to book me in for an x-ray, but if thats inconclusive they'll do a laparoscopy... But there was no mention that it had to be at a particular time of the month. We have a relation who is a clerk to the the gynae ward at the hospital, so she's going to try and bump our names up the list (she did that for this appointment). I like to be in control and this is all so frustrating.

Thanks for being nice to me!

That does somehow sound different from what I had. They used an ultrasound along with a special probe, air bubbles (and bubbles of some type of special dye). Believe me, it was a far from pleasant experience but my dr can be amusing and the US tech was friendly and they both explained what was going on (and I could watch it on the screen) so it wasn't horrible.

I seem to recall my DW having some x-rays...she had some abnormalities on the first US. I'll ask her if she remembers.

Although an x-ray won't mess with the uterine wall, it could still disrupt a spontaneous pregnancy. So, I would think it still matters.

Ask your relative exactly what your orders say and then you can do some specific research.

Good luck with it all! And, if you can manage it, try to believe that patience will pay off.

[R Dog Walt]

Hi there, well dh and I just got back from a gynae appointment! Feel rubbish.. had the lovely internal exam to check everything ok - which thankfully it is, but he's now putting me on a 3-4 month waiting list to check my tubes... Also dh's last SA was so much better that he wants him to wait another 4 months for another one to see what happens to that. I'm 34 and fed up of waiting on more tests... I want to get on with this whole thing... :mad:

Anyone else fed up with the waiting.
.


Yes, I'm definitely tired of waiting!!!! I feel like there is a lot of "hurry up and wait" with IF treatments. I had to wait months to start this treatment or that treatment and months to wait for testing and months on a waiting list for embryos and ... I hate WAITING!!!!

The only test I know to check tubes is the HSG (hysterosalpingogram). That's the one with the dye that hematite mentioned. When both DP and I had this, we both had to do it on day 9 or 10 of our cycle. My DP had to have a lap after the HSG to check for endometriosis and to see what problems she might have because of it appeared her tube was blocked. Of course, she had to wait 2 months to get the lap scheduled! She goes in Friday for her post op, we'll find out.

Good luck!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Woo hoo! :cool1: :yay: Sounds awesome! I hear the Pirate and Princess parties are excellent!!! Where are you staying?

What a great trip to look forward to!


Well, right now we are booked for All Star Movies, but I don't know I might change it. I am so looking forward to it. I have been whining since we got back in December that I wanted to go again and I finally won, even if it is only for two days. I'm "home" sick

Suzanne princess:

[DznyLvr2005]

:rolleyes1 I'm anxiously awating my husband and I's Chromosome analysis for my 2 miscarriages... I'm so scared right now
It should be about a week until we get our results... I'm almost 100% positive that we don't have a genetic problem...
I just don't know what's wrong :confused3
I have a paper the genetic councelor gave us...
It says there are many reasons for miscarriages...
1)hormonal problems
2)random chromosone problems at conception (this does not mean WE have chromome problems, this just means that this can happen, which she said happens out of 50% off all pregnancies because 50% off all pregnacies end in miscarriage!!!) so this leaves me with the though, how are there so many kids in the world!?!?!?:confused3
3)blood clotting problems
4)immune problems
etc...etc...etc...
Geneticist said that the MD won't even think twice about my two losses, actualy what she said was that "he won't be impressed" IMPRESSED?!? ughhh!!
Wish us luck please :grouphug:

[hematite153]

...she said ... 50% off all pregnacies end in miscarriage!!!

Yes. According to the numbers from my clinic...

80% of the time that an egg and sperm come into contact the egg is fertilized. But, only 1/4 of these lead to a live birth.

An article I read in a fertility magazine said that 71% of pregnancies in NA are unplanned.

It does make one wonder whether anyone practices safe-sex! I mean, the numbers certainly suggest that there should be a lot fewer babies if people were actually paying attention to the issue.

The (hopefully) good news is that IVF is supposed to have better odds of a live birth. I noticed that when I was looking at these numbers there is a wide range depending upon clinic. For those of you who are dr/clinic shopping, try asking for their numbers.

[hematite153]

:rolleyes1 I'm anxiously awating my husband and I's Chromosome analysis for my 2 miscarriages... I'm so scared right now
It should be about a week until we get our results...

P.S. I've got my fingers crossed for you.

[brightspark]

Yes, I'm definitely tired of waiting!!!! I feel like there is a lot of "hurry up and wait" with IF treatments. I had to wait months to start this treatment or that treatment and months to wait for testing and months on a waiting list for embryos and ... I hate WAITING!!!!

The only test I know to check tubes is the HSG (hysterosalpingogram). That's the one with the dye that hematite mentioned. When both DP and I had this, we both had to do it on day 9 or 10 of our cycle. My DP had to have a lap after the HSG to check for endometriosis and to see what problems she might have because of it appeared her tube was blocked. Of course, she had to wait 2 months to get the lap scheduled! She goes in Friday for her post op, we'll find out.

Good luck!

Good luck to you too!
This HSG is what I'm going to be having - oh great joy! I just met with a friend who's on her second ICSI and she warned me that this HSG thing is really nasty. She (like me) thought it was just an x-ray (that's what we get told) and went on her own. She was really sick and had to call her mum to come and get her from the hospital! UGH. :sad2:

Going to chase up the private clinic and check they've had our referral. If we go with them... there is practically no wait - but we have to find the cash.

[SumMickeyfans]

I'm anxiously awating my husband and I's Chromosome analysis

DznyLvr2005....So you and your husband had Chrmosome testing done?? I remember when my husband and I had that done. They took like 4 vials of blood from him and a Whopping 15 Vials from me:scared1: They only did like 2 tests on him and a LOT on me. All of my tests took about a 1 and a 1/2 months to come back. Is that what you had done?? I wish you the best of luck girlie!!

[DznyLvr2005]

DznyLvr2005....So you and your husband had Chrmosome testing done?? I remember when my husband and I had that done. They took like 4 vials of blood from him and a Whopping 15 Vials from me:scared1: They only did like 2 tests on him and a LOT on me. All of my tests took about a 1 and a 1/2 months to come back. Is that what you had done?? I wish you the best of luck girlie!!

Hi :flower3:
I had three vials on me and only one for him!
They said ours should take 2 weeks. They were only chekcing for abnormal arramgements of chromosomes or soemthing like that... Also 2 other things on me... But I can'e remember what they were...
How did your tests go when you got the results?
Thanks!

[R Dog Walt]

DznyLvr2005- I hope you find out some valuable information from these tests. I hope it's not a genetic issue for you guys. I hope the test results come in soon. Waiting can be impossible!

brightspark- The HSG isn't particularly comfortable. Some people have a harder time than others. I had no problems when it really, but my partner had a difficult time. The dr. couldn't find her cervix for a long time!

I just tried making ressies through DVC for BCV for Dec. 30- Jan. 1. No such luck for a studio. :mad: (I told DP that we should have booked earlier!
She never listens!) We'll have to wait until the 7 month window opens up. I think we're going to try for OKW in a 1 bedroom since my aunt and her 2 year old son may come. This way when he went to bed in the evening, we could still all hang out together in the living room. I guess I'll call day by day once the 7 month window opens up.

Suzanne- I'm still so excited for you about your trip!

[SumMickeyfans]

How did your tests go when you got the results?

I think my Immune Testing took so long because we live in a rather small town my blood had to be shipped out to all these different labs that performed these tests :rolleyes: All of my other tests came back Normal except for the Karotype Test they did That's where they found the "Balanced Translocation of Chromosome 5 & 6" (my D/H came back normal).
I found this and I also had them done.

The following blood tests are recommended for the Female:

1. Test for anticardiolipin antibody, if positive, usually treated with 1 baby aspirin a day
2. Test for antinuclear antibody, a titre over 1:40 is cause for concern and is treated with Prednisone, usually 5 mg twice a day on day one of the menstrual cycle and increased to 10 mg twice a day at the time of a positive pregnancy test and continued for at least 12 weeks of pregnancy. Follow-up blood tests may be needed.
3. Test for antiphospholipid antibodies, if positive, treated starting on day 6 of the menstrual cycle with either Heparin injections, 5,000 units once a day or Fragmin injections, 2500 units once a day and continued until at least 12 weeks of pregnancy. Fragmin is preferred because it causes less stress on the body. Follow-up blood tests may be needed.
In addition the couple should be tested for HLA compatibility, also known as DQ-Alpha testing. This determines whether the couple is so similar that the female's immune system does not produce protective antibodies to protect the fetus because her body does not recognize the cells arising from her partner as foreign.

BRIGHTSPARK.......Totally agree with r Dog Walt...I t depends on the person...With my 1st HSG I had absolutely no problem...With my 2nd one It was so much pain!! Who knows why!! It would be nice if it was "just an X-Ray". Try taking some Tylenol an hour before (ask if it's ok) My doc said it was....Anyway...should help with the cramping if any.

[hematite153]

This HSG is what I'm going to be having - oh great joy! I just met with a friend who's on her second ICSI and she warned me that this HSG thing is really nasty. She (like me) thought it was just an x-ray (that's what we get told) and went on her own. She was really sick and had to call her mum to come and get her from the hospital! UGH. :sad2:


Well, it wasn't fun but it also wasn't all that much worse than IUI.
I also went alone (DW travels for work) and was able to drive myself safely.

Two recommendations:
1. My clinic suggested that I take Advil 2 hours before the procedure.
2. My clinic asked me to sit in the waiting room for 30 minutes before I considered leaving. I started out feeling awful, but after about 20 minutes my blood pressure seemed to level out and I was okay. (I might try bringing orange juice if I were to do it again.)

[hematite153]

BRIGHTSPARK.......Totally agree with r Dog Walt...I t depends on the person...With my 1st HSG I had absolutely no problem...With my 2nd one It was so much pain!! Who knows why!! It would be nice if it was "just an X-Ray". Try taking some Tylenol an hour before (ask if it's ok) My doc said it was....Anyway...should help with the cramping if any.

Don't know if it matters but my clinic specifically told me to take Advil--they said not to take Tylenol.

[hematite153]

The dr. couldn't find her cervix for a long time!


Yuck! This is the problem I always have with IUI. They always end up going and getting a special speculum but I can never convince them to use one of them initially. When I went for the HSG my dr read my file and started with the special speculum.

[SumMickeyfans]

hematite153....Your probably right...God knows the last time I had one done was over 7 years ago...I remember taking some kind of pain reliever...Lol.

I just tried making ressies through DVC for BCV for Dec. 30- Jan. 1. No such luck for a studio. Bummer.....keep calling....hopefully something will open up:)

[hematite153]

I just tried making ressies through DVC for BCV for Dec. 30- Jan. 1. No such luck for a studio. :mad: (I told DP that we should have booked earlier!
She never listens!) We'll have to wait until the 7 month window opens up. I think we're going to try for OKW in a 1 bedroom since my aunt and her 2 year old son may come. This way when he went to bed in the evening, we could still all hang out together in the living room. I guess I'll call day by day once the 7 month window opens up.

Try putting your name on the waitlist in the meantime. We had a last minute plan change on Dec. 22nd this year, and put our names on the waitlist (for Dec. 30 - Jan 5) assuming that we had no chance. Not only did it come through but we got to stay at BCV for the first time.

[R Dog Walt]

I don't know if the pain reliever matters for the HSG or not. My RE had us take 2 Tylenol and 2 Aleve before the procedure. Or was that the hysteroscopy? They all run together!

As for DP's cervix, RE said that it "was in the bargain basement"! (Can you tell he's a 70 year old man?:rotfl: )

As for the ressie, I was actually just going to book Beach Club because those are the only points I have left to use with an 11 month window. I was going to use the points to make sure I had a room for New Year's- just in case I couldn't get another room at 7 months. I was planning on booking OKW or SSR for the 1 bedroom when 7 month opens up anyway. So it's no big deal.

[brightspark]

Don't know if it matters but my clinic specifically told me to take Advil--they said not to take Tylenol.

Thanks for this advice. I will have to ask over here about what to take as these are US brand names and I dont know what the UK equivelent would be!

[R Dog Walt]

Thanks for this advice. I will have to ask over here about what to take as these are US brand names and I dont know what the UK equivelent would be!

FYI-

Tylenol= acetaminophen
Advil= ibuprofen
Aleve= naproxen

[PrincessSuzanne]

FYI-

Tylenol= acetaminophen
Advil= ibuprofen
Aleve= naproxen


Just some more FYI's

Tylenol is a pain reducer/fever reducer
Advil and Aleve are Antiinflammatories/fever reducers

Tylenol can be taken with either Advil or Aleve, but you should NEVER take Advil and Aleve together.

(I used to work for a Rheumatologist)

I had both an HSG and Hysteroscopy and was advised to take 2 Advil or Aleve before, just to prevent any cramping, but I never had any pain or cramping or other side effects with either procedure.

Good Luck

Suzanne princess:

[brightspark]

Thanks for all this info... can't help thinking that as just a 'by hand' internal exam on Monday gave me a dull ache for nearly two days... anything more isn't going to be too much fun, so I really appreciate the painkiller advice.

I think that Tylenol must be like our paracetamol which you take to reduce fever and as pain relief.

[hematite153]

Just some more FYI's

Tylenol is a pain reducer/fever reducer
Advil and Aleve are Antiinflammatories/fever reducers

Tylenol can be taken with either Advil or Aleve, but you should NEVER take Advil and Aleve together.


Aleve is also a muscle relaxant. So, given a choice of all three it might be the best. It's not an over-the-counter drug here though so my clinic wouldn't have considered it unless the others would cause problems.

[hematite153]

I think that Tylenol must be like our paracetamol which you take to reduce fever and as pain relief.

Yes.

Tylenol = Paracetamol = Panadol

Advil = Ibuprofen = Nurofen = Act-3 = Brufen = Dorival = Herron Blue = Panafen = Motrin = Nuprin = Ipren (Note: NSAID)

Aleve = Naproxen Sodium = Anaprox = Naprogesic = Naprosyn = Naprelan = Synflex (Note: NSAID)

(Never take more than one NSAID at a time unless specifically told to do so by a dr--even then I would check with a pharmacist first.)

[MAKHayes-DisneyDiva]

Well, it wasn't fun but it also wasn't all that much worse than IUI.
I also went alone (DW travels for work) and was able to drive myself safely.

Two recommendations:
1. My clinic suggested that I take Advil 2 hours before the procedure.
2. My clinic asked me to sit in the waiting room for 30 minutes before I considered leaving. I started out feeling awful, but after about 20 minutes my blood pressure seemed to level out and I was okay. (I might try bringing orange juice if I were to do it again.)

:scared1: I had bad experience w/ an HSG. The HSG itself was not painful, but uncomfortable, I thought. But when I got up to change into my clothes and return to work, I had this seizure-like reaction. I passed out and I guess my eyes were rolling backwards. The nurses thought I must be epileptic but the doctor, who was leaving the building, heard the commotion and recognized the symptoms. It turns out I am allergic to the dye that was shot through my tubes! I had to lie down for about a half hour, and then I had this odd, euphoric feeling for the rest of the day. (The euphoria was actually kind of cool!) Only a small percentage of people are allergic to the dye, but I later found out that it runs in my family.

[hematite153]

:scared1: I had bad experience w/ an HSG. The HSG itself was not painful, but uncomfortable, I thought. But when I got up to change into my clothes and return to work, I had this seizure-like reaction. I passed out and I guess my eyes were rolling backwards. ... It turns out I am allergic to the dye that was shot through my tubes!

Yikes!

I remember thinking that my doctor's wording was odd when she told me to get her if I didn't feel well while waiting after the HSG. I guess this allergy is what she was trying to allude to without scaring me.

I'm glad they figured it out fairly quickly!

[SumMickeyfans]

passed out and I guess my eyes were rolling backwards. The nurses thought I must be epileptic

Holy Molee--:eek: --and I though my major cramps after my 2nd HSG were bad!! Good to know that the Doc was on hand and that you came out ok.

[DznyLvr2005]

One of my genetic tests came back... The cystic fibrosis test came back negative...
That one I wasn't too concerned about, I'm waititing for the big one.. the one that tells me if I have any wierd re-arranged chromosomes!!
grr i hate this waiting!

[R Dog Walt]

One of my genetic tests came back... The cystic fibrosis test came back negative...
That one I wasn't too concerned about, I'm waititing for the big one.. the one that tells me if I have any wierd re-arranged chromosomes!!
grr i hate this waiting!

Whew! One down. How soon until the big one comes back?

[DznyLvr2005]

Whew! One down. How soon until the big one comes back?

Should be beginning of next week..
After I can rule out any chromosome problem, I'll just have to go to the next possible reason on my list which is HORMONES!
I will not take "just try again" as an option.. I want to know before I lose another pregnancy!

[PrincessSuzanne]

Should be beginning of next week..
After I can rule out any chromosome problem, I'll just have to go to the next possible reason on my list which is HORMONES!
I will not take "just try again" as an option.. I want to know before I lose another pregnancy!



That is exactly what you need to do. Looking back on my treatments, I didn't push enough for answers and today I am still in the same position I was back then.

Good Luck and lost of Pixie Dust pixiedust:

Suzanne princess:

[R Dog Walt]

Should be beginning of next week..
After I can rule out any chromosome problem, I'll just have to go to the next possible reason on my list which is HORMONES!
I will not take "just try again" as an option.. I want to know before I lose another pregnancy!

I totally agree with you. You deserve to be proactive and to know exactly what may be wrong.

Are the blood clotting disorders part of this stage of testing? I know they are genetic. I don't know much about them except that a friend of mine had this testing done following a m/c and found out she has two blood clotting disorder. Something having to do with MTHFR. Anyway, her last 2 cycles she was on Heparin after her transfers.

Good luck.

[hematite153]

The cystic fibrosis test came back negative...
That one I wasn't too concerned about,

I hope you will get similarly good news out of the other tests when they finally come back.

But, don't forget to celebrate this result too. CF is a genetic disorder that is nice to avoid.

[SumMickeyfans]

One of my genetic tests came back... The cystic fibrosis test came back negative...

I'm so glad that test was -. What was the name of the other test you had? Anyway...hoping for the best!!

[DznyLvr2005]

Well, I'm very upset right now :(
My other test was a test for Fragile X and I'm a carrier. :( :( :(
ughhh, I'm sooooo UPSET!
I have a 50/50 chance of passing the full blown Fragile X to any kids I have....
Of course I looked up what fragile X is and I'm just a wreck right now.....
Funny thing is... I was being tested to see why I'm having miscarriages... and fragile X Carrier doesn't cause them... so I'm back to square 1 with findind out why I had 2 miscarriages..
I really think I'm going to pass on trying to have another kid.. it's just too much.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Well, I'm very upset right now :(
My other test was a test for Fragile X and I'm a carrier. :( :( :(
ughhh, I'm sooooo UPSET!
I have a 50/50 chance of passing the full blown Fragile X to any kids I have....
Of course I looked up what fragile X is and I'm just a wreck right now.....
Funny thing is... I was being tested to see why I'm having miscarriages... and fragile X Carrier doesn't cause them... so I'm back to square 1 with findind out why I had 2 miscarriages..
I really think I'm going to pass on trying to have another kid.. it's just too much.


:hug: to you, I'm sorry that you got this diagnosis. Life sucks doesn't it. But just know that we are here for you what ever you decide to do. :grouphug:

Suzanne princess:

[R Dog Walt]

Well, I'm very upset right now :(
My other test was a test for Fragile X and I'm a carrier. :( :( :(
ughhh, I'm sooooo UPSET!
I have a 50/50 chance of passing the full blown Fragile X to any kids I have....
Of course I looked up what fragile X is and I'm just a wreck right now.....
Funny thing is... I was being tested to see why I'm having miscarriages... and fragile X Carrier doesn't cause them... so I'm back to square 1 with findind out why I had 2 miscarriages..
I really think I'm going to pass on trying to have another kid.. it's just too much.

:( I'm SOOO sorry! IF totally sucks!! Fragile X- I'm so sorry. I know that you weren't expecting that and it doesn't help address the whole m/c thing.

Whatever you decide, we're here to support you. I know how hard it is to deal with a difficult diagnosis. What about other options- donor eggs/donor embryos?

[hematite153]

Well, I'm very upset right now :(
My other test was a test for Fragile X and I'm a carrier. :( :( :(


I'm so sorry you received such difficult results!
:grouphug:


When you're ready (i.e. I understand why you aren't there now), do some more reading. I know a woman with severe Turner's Syndrome who is quite intelligent and has a great life. Fragile X can be brutal, but it can also have relatively minor impact. It's all a matter of how fragile the X is.

If, after reviewing it all, you are still too worried to proceed, think about R Dog Walt's suggestions.

I'm really sorry for all of your pain.

[aclov]

Well, I'm very upset right now :(
My other test was a test for Fragile X and I'm a carrier. :( :( :(
ughhh, I'm sooooo UPSET!
I have a 50/50 chance of passing the full blown Fragile X to any kids I have....
Of course I looked up what fragile X is and I'm just a wreck right now.....
Funny thing is... I was being tested to see why I'm having miscarriages... and fragile X Carrier doesn't cause them... so I'm back to square 1 with findind out why I had 2 miscarriages..
I really think I'm going to pass on trying to have another kid.. it's just too much.

Getting disappointing news is the worse :guilty:. I'm sorry your going through this. I think all of us on this thread have been upset at least more than once, I don't have enough fingers on my hand to count mine :sad2:. Just know that we are here to listen.:flower3:

[SumMickeyfans]

Originally Posted by DznyLvr2005
Well, I'm very upset right now
My other test was a test for Fragile X and I'm a carrier.
ughhh, I'm sooooo UPSET!
I have a 50/50 chance of passing the full blown Fragile X to any kids I have....
Of course I looked up what fragile X is and I'm just a wreck right now.....
Funny thing is... I was being tested to see why I'm having miscarriages... and fragile X Carrier doesn't cause them... so I'm back to square 1 with findind out why I had 2 miscarriages..
I really think I'm going to pass on trying to have another kid.. it's just too much.


OMG...That totally sucks!! I am SO Very Sorry :hug: . I know we have all been there and bad news hurts but please know that there are other options available. As the others have said, we are here to support you and each other:grouphug:

[klmall]

Just wanted to write and wish everyone who is going through this difficult journey a big "DIS hug" and my prayers! I happened to stumble upon this thread accidentally and have been reading it for the past hour or two and it really hit home because 21 years ago I was exactly where you all are and there wasn't any Internet, barely any books and only 1 support group in the whole country!

I had painful periods all my life and eventually was diagnosed with endometriosis and had major surgery which was deemed at least health-wise to be successful. Still after Clomid and various other drugs and 9 years of trying, no baby. My husband refused to consider adoption and even our great RE said to come back every year for a checkup but he didn't think he could do anything more except IVF which at the time (even in Maryland) would not be covered by our insurance. I was an emotional wreck most of those 9 years. I couldn't attend baby showers without crying; couldn't bear to visit friends with their babies in the hospital and had to watch my unmarried sister go through several abortions.

Meanwhile the 'endo' was beginning to return and several doctors wanted me to have a hysterectomy. I was teaching at the time and decided to wait until the next summer when I could recup more easily. In September when my normally perfectly regular period came early I attributed it to stress at work but the next period never arrived. Nine months later, our beautiful 9 years late baby arrived and will be 21 this July. I was 37 years old and I had been trying since I was 27!

We did try again for a second child for five more years but no luck. I am so thankful for the blessing we have but I still vividly remember the days, months, years and tears of waiting. The pain isn't in my face every moment like it was then but it is always in the background ready to be reawakened. Luckily I found a friend during the final two years of trying who really helped by listening and she too eventually became pregnant. We were just talking about those days at Christmas this year and how you never forget.

I am so glad that you are sharing and helping each other. Your stories are sad and uplifting at the same time. I wish the best and hope that little ones come your way!

[SumMickeyfans]

Hi Kathy.....What a Wonderful ending to such a hard road getting there!! I can only im agine how you must have felt when you found out you were preggo!! What a special gift. I also imagine your child is super loved!! :)

[Jaime]

I know of a few women that have had multiple M/C's and they finally discovered that their low progesterone was a problem. Now they have progesterone supplements to take for the first few months (and those with PCOS take the Metformin for the first trimester too).

Good luck to you!

Missie :)

I had PCOS...I just read everyone’s post…no one should ever have to go through the heartache of loosing or not conceiving a child…you are all in my prayers… I have had so many friends & family that have gone through and are going through the same thing…I just never really realized how common it was until it happened to me… I remember that every time a friend would have a baby I would be so depressed for days…and get even more depressed because I was depressed because someone else had a beautiful baby when I should have been happy! I gained so much weight during this time…I wanted to go to WDW for years and my DH wanted to wait for our children but finally in 2001 we went anyway…we had so much fun…it was a little emotional but fun! We tried for four very emotional years to conceive before we decided to give up on trying different treatments… I have no idea how but we were blessed a year later with a beautiful girl it was a very stressful pregnancy with a lot of bleeding and pain and time in the hospital but in the end we got our healthy little princess…again 2 years later we were blessed with other little princess…a “normal” pregnancy but a stressful delivery…we were told our little girl would never have use of her right arm…we requested a physiotherapist to look at her immediately…the preformed physio on her arm for five days and on the 5th day she started to move it…both girls are happy and healthy…I know I have been so blessed with my princesses…I truly believe I value my girls so much more then I would off…please don’t get me wrong I would have love them regardless but it really makes me value life so much more.

I wish you all the best…….

[goudaman40]

Hubby and I have been married for about 12 1/2 years (got married when I was 20 and he was 22) and started trying to start our family in 1996. Hubby joined the service, so money was extremely tight. I had numerous HSG's, MRI's, Ultrasounds, and finally a lap to find out what was wrong with me. I had surgery to remove a septum only to find out I have a bicornuate uterus.

Flash forward to one year ago . . . we are in Pensacola (hubby stationed there) and the doctors tell me I should have a hysterectomy because I haven't had children and that's what a uterus is for. Hubby says no, to wait, and we will just deal with the other issues I'm having. Hubby see's doctor and has surgery in July to remove vericous veins and the doctor said that if it was successful then there would/should be an increase in hubby and we may be able to have children.

Well, September of last year, we finally accepted that we would not have kids and just enjoy doing the Disney trips with just us and spoil our neices and nephew.

January of this year we see another RE to verify that everything is ok with me. She schedules another lap for July to rule out septum vs bicornuate (you would think the 3 inch thick medical file with the last 6 years saying bicornuate would make her believe us). She sent us home with a prescription of Clomid to said to try it on our next cycle. I was depressed and decided not to do the whole clomid thing and just go on with life.

Well, on 03/30 (I was almost 2 months late) I decided to buy a hpt (felt like it would be a waste of $ because of all of the other times it had been negative) when I got home I took one of the 2 test (same price for 2 as one) and it came out positive. I couldn't believe it and neither could hubby! I took the other one on 03/31 and it said positive! Went to our doctor on Monday 04/02 and had an ultrasound and there we say our baby and heartbeat. Our doctor asked us "how did this happen"? She couldn't believe it either!

I'm just saying, that when you least expect it and have given up every hope, it could still happen. We are still in shock, but are also friends with 2 other couples that have been suffering with infertility for 7 plus years. We know it is tough for them, and we are still friends. I don't say anything about the pregnancy unless they ask. I don't want to hurt their feelings, because I remember how much it hurt to see other people with child that I was close to.