Child-free, but not by choice?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Sneaks in quietly.. takes all knives out of Suzannes reach.. shakes finger at her.. hehehehe hope you're doing well girl!

That sounds like a good idea! Take care of yourself Suzanne!



I've seen pictures elsewhere. Yes, they're here and awfully cute. Boy/Girl twins that I'm sure are keeping her VERY busy.



Oh you bad bad people. Sneaking in while I am away. Well, not exactly away away, sick away. I have had a real nasty Cold/Flu. Not my year Huh?

Yeah, actually I am now a bit afraid of using a knife and am being watched carefully.

How are all of you? I really am just around these days, nothing exciting for me. We are just about to finish packing up our old house to get it on the market. Mom got sick last weekend so I wasn't able to work there and then I was sick this weekend, hopefully we won't need to many more weekends there. We still have to conquer our backyards, which I was hoping to get finished before the spring blooms arrived, but not looking that way.

Oh we got some snow on Saturday morning for just a few minutes, but I was too sick to care :sick:.

I am so glad there babies are here, that is so exciting. Thank you Hematite for letting me know, it is always nice to read when one of our own is successful.

Well, stop by and talk to me later. I'm getting bored around here.

Suzanne

[debbiet1]

Well I've got pneumonia AGAIN. but otherwise not bad. Survived our 2 week Christmas at Disney holiday.
Would you like some snow? I 'm willing to share, we've got FEET of it.. there has to be 4-5 ft of snow out there. Its terrible.
At this rate spring will be here.. by July.
Hope everyones doing well. Its been awhile since I've been here.

[ReaderGirl]

:cutie: Thanks to everyone who posted!

Having a baby just didn't happen for me and my husband, and at some point pursuing it further seemed like too much, given all of the other things going on in our sometimes demanding lives. On the one hand, I feel like the decision was made for us, and on the other hand, I guess we just resigned ourselves to it, and said "It's not to be."

Sometimes it's very hard when people ask "Why don't you have kids?" I can't imagine putting someone on the spot like that. It's also hard when we're standing in a group of parents, and they're all talking about their children (it's such a conversation filler at parties, etc. -- people bond over their similar parenting experiences), while we just stand there. I live in an area where everyone seems to be part of a family with children. My own family isn't that close, and it's sometimes hard to think of my husband and I as a "real" family of two.

We've been to Disney a few times, and loved it! Interestingly, it didn't make me miss having children. A lot of the parents looked stressed! Since I'm childless, I try to find the up side, and I tell myself that at least I can do whatever I want on vacation, among other things.

I'm glad to have found this thread. Sometimes people wonder why we, without children, go to Disney. Obviously, they haven't been there! There's so much for adults to do, and it's the most cheerful place around. I love the tone of Disney more than anything. It's a "Look on the bright side!" world. :beach:

Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[PrincessSuzanne]

:cutie: Thanks to everyone who posted!

Having a baby just didn't happen for me and my husband, and at some point pursuing it further seemed like too much, given all of the other things going on in our sometimes demanding lives. On the one hand, I feel like the decision was made for us, and on the other hand, I guess we just resigned ourselves to it, and said "It's not to be."

Sometimes it's very hard when people ask "Why don't you have kids?" I can't imagine putting someone on the spot like that. It's also hard when we're standing in a group of parents, and they're all talking about their children (it's such a conversation filler at parties, etc. -- people bond over their similar parenting experiences), while we just stand there. I live in an area where everyone seems to be part of a family with children. My own family isn't that close, and it's sometimes hard to think of my husband and I as a "real" family of two.

We've been to Disney a few times, and loved it! Interestingly, it didn't make me miss having children. A lot of the parents looked stressed! Since I'm childless, I try to find the up side, and I tell myself that at least I can do whatever I want on vacation, among other things.

I'm glad to have found this thread. Sometimes people wonder why we, without children, go to Disney. Obviously, they haven't been there! There's so much for adults to do, and it's the most cheerful place around. I love the tone of Disney more than anything. It's a "Look on the bright side!" world. :beach:

Everyone take care!
ReaderGirl :hippie:


:welcome: Readergirl to the Dis and to our group. It is nice to have a place to talk to others about being childless and to not be judged for not hving them and why you can't have them. Most of us have been in the same place and others, like debbiet1 has children, but never makes us feel bad.

I guess I am getting used to other people talking about their kids, we don't really hang out with other people, we are homebodies and my BF lets me love on her children as much as I want. I do still have moments where I get depressed about not having a child, but right now there is no room in our house for one and my mom is taking too much of my time to be able to care for one.

I absolutely LOVE :lovestruc Disney and it is growing on me that I can pick up almost any time and go anywhere (Disney) because I don't have children. I don't even really notice other children when we are there, unless we start talking to a friendly family. I do "borrow" my cousin's daughter and take her, in fact she is going for the second time in June to celebrate our birthday's. I took her on our first trip in June 2005 when she was 7 and she will be 10 just before we leave and she is really excited. I have also taken her 17 year old aunt and she didn't have such a great time. We usually take my mother, but Dh and I were able to go on a trip for his birthday last August and had a fabulous time.

I have decided if it is meant to be it will happen, but it doesn't seem meant to be, so I am going to make the best of it and go and enjoy WDW as much as I possibly can.

Suzanne princess:

[ReaderGirl]

Thanks for the warm welcome, Princess Suzanne! :cutie:

It *is* nice to do whatever you want on vacation, isn't it! Like you, I'm sometimes sad about not having kids, especially as I get older (I'm in my forties), but I also know that I need to appreciate the great life I have. :flower1:

It sounds like you have your hands full if you're taking care of a parent. It's a super nice thing to do, though.pixiedust:

There are so many adult things to do at Disney, and I enjoy them, but I love the kid things even more, probably because they appeal to the kid in me! Love the MK, love Mickey's Philharmagic, the Snow White ride, all of that good stuff. It's all so innocent and sweet; when I return to the real world, it's a bit of a shock!

Princess Suzanne and everyone else, have a great day!

ReaderGirl :hippie:

[mollygirl]

I don't know how people get through this. My dh and I have only been trying to get pregnant since September but I think there's something wrong. I know it's only been a few months but I'm almost 36 yrs old and we have been very focused in our 'trying'.

While we've been focused, I only mean that we've been aware of the best times of the month to try. I really really haven't been stressed about it (til now). I hate it when people tell me I just need to relax and it'll happen.

My sister just told me this week that she's going to start trying to get pregnant in the next couple of months and she'll probably have no problem - she got pregnant by accident last time.

To make matters worse, since I went off the pill, I feel like I can cry at the drop of a hat. I was never a crier, now I'm a mess.

My doctor has started tests on both DH and me. I go tomorrow for my second round of bloodwork and then we get the results next Thursday. I just got my period last night so I'm particularly down today. I just got off the phone with my bf who I was consoling over her house deal falling through and when I told her I was having a bad day, she said I'm so sorry but I have to go (she was at work).

I'm struggling to keep myself from just putting my head down on my desk and and having a good cry. My boss would think an alien had taken over my body - he always teases me that I must be half man because I'm not emotional - that would show him!

Sorry for the long rambling rant. I needed to let off some steam.
:sad1:

~Mollygirl

[thatsmines]

This is my first time posting. i'm not quite in the same category but we are ttc our second child. We have had three miscarriages this year and are now being sent for genetic testing. Has anyone else done this? I don't know what the test looks for. my husband and I do not want to know what may happen to us in the future but only what is stopping these pregnancies. Thanks for any help

[Nennie]

Hello Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sensitive announcement below)



It is with both caution and excitment that I tell you all that I am pregnant. I am in shock, but a happy shock.

4 years TTC, 9 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 1FET, and here I am now! Sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to wait until we saw the heartbeat (which we saw yesterday). As you might remember, I was planning on doing a surrogate cycle this summer, and decided to do another IUI to kill time. Well the IUI worked. My surrogate (my cousin) is so very sweet, and has told me that her offer still stands whenever I need her for #2, etc.

I just wanted to tell you all!! I promise not to post pregnancy updates etc on this board, so unless you hear otherwise, you can just assume that things are going smoothly!

Thatsmines -- Hello and welcome. I had a couple different kinds of genetic testing. One was the basic where they just tested me, then we went to CHOP and had blood taken from both myself and DH, along with cells from our son that passed away at birth. Everything was sent to a top lab in the state of Washington, and we were given very detailed results. Best of luck to you!!!

Mollygirl -- Hang in there (don't worry, I won't tell you to "relax" LOL!!!!). It's great that you are getting bloodwork done (I assume FSH, LH, P4, to confirm egg reserves and confirm that you are ovulating). You are still within the window of "normal" TTC time, which is a great thing! I hope you get that BFP soon!!

Readergirl -- Hello and welcome to you as well!! I love all the adult things at WDW, and the kid stuff too! LOL!! I hate returning to the real world too!

Debbie -- UGH on the pneumonia!!!!!! How are you feeling now???

Suzanne -- Hello Hello!!! How are you doing???

A big Hello to all that I missed!!! :goodvibes

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hello Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sensitive announcement below)



It is with both caution and excitment that I tell you all that I am pregnant. I am in shock, but a happy shock.

4 years TTC, 9 IUIs, 3 IVFs, 1FET, and here I am now! Sorry that I didn't tell you sooner, but I wanted to wait until we saw the heartbeat (which we saw yesterday). As you might remember, I was planning on doing a surrogate cycle this summer, and decided to do another IUI to kill time. Well the IUI worked. My surrogate (my cousin) is so very sweet, and has told me that her offer still stands whenever I need her for #2, etc.

I just wanted to tell you all!! I promise not to post pregnancy updates etc on this board, so unless you hear otherwise, you can just assume that things are going smoothly!

Suzanne -- Hello Hello!!! How are you doing???



Oh Nennie, I am so happy for you. Send some of that luck my way. I am so happy for you :cloud9:

I had been doing fine with it until I heard about this pregnant "man". I told DH maybe he could get lucky and have a baby for us. I just keep having to remind myself that we aren't going to be parents and keep dealing with it.

I have been sick, but am better now. Mom has been really sick and I have been killing myself to take care of her and I do mean everything. I am so tired and I have absolutely no help. DH and I have had no time together and I can't get anyone to stay with her so we can. I know we are supposed to care for our parents, but my mom is too young to be getting this way.

I am still trying to get over the shooting at our hospital last week and losing a friend :sad1: .

Life goes on and I need to get with it, I guess :upsidedow


Suzanne

[hematite153]

Nennie! I'm so happy for you.

If you're interested in sharing, I'd be happy to hear updates via pm.



Welcome to the newbies.

[want2bamommy]

Hello Ladies!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sensitive announcement below)



It is with both caution and excitment that I tell you all that I am pregnant. I am in shock, but a happy shock.



CONGRATULATIONS Nennie!!!!!!! That is wonderful news. I haven't been on the disboards in over 3 months but had an urge to check on it today. I was so happy to hear your announcement! I wish you a happy and healthy rest of the pregnancy. :flower3:

Missie

[want2bamommy]

I am still trying to get over the shooting at our hospital last week and losing a friend :sad1: .

Life goes on and I need to get with it, I guess :upsidedow


Suzanne

Hi, Suzanne! Long time no see! I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and the shooting. I'll keep the family in my prayers!

Sorry to hear that you have been sick (and your Mom too). Hoping that all will be better soon.

Missie

[Nennie]

Thanks so much everyone! I'm going to be a nervous wreck until I'm holding a healthy baby in my arms, but I know you all know how that can be! Thank you for your support! I just peeked back at the first page, and we started this thread over a year ago, and I'm so happy that it's still going strong!!!

Suzanne -- I am so very sorry to hear about your friend! How horrible!! I'm also sorry to hear of your mother being sick. I can only imagine how mentally and physically exhausted you must be trying to take care of her! HUGS!!!

Hematite -- I would be more than happy to give you updates via PM! I don't have any updates yet, but when I do, I will PM you!!! :goodvibes

Want2bamommy -- So glad that you popped on the DIS today! I'm the same away, I'll stay away for while, and then pop in from time to time to catch up! Thanks so much for your well wishes!!!

[Eeyore4me764]

Congradulations Nennie!!! I am so happy for you and your DH. My DH and I got married in Oct 2005, I was surprised to find out that I was pregnant in Nov 2005, In Dec 2005 when I went for the first visit to talk to dr, they went thru everything getting all my information and then said lets do an ultrasound to see how far along you are....when they did the ultrasound, they said sorry but the their is no heartbeat. I was crushed. This is my second marriage so I am older. I do have two beautiful children from my first marriage (15 DD 13 DS) so I have been blessed to experience motherhood, but my husband and I would love to share a the experience from conception on. He is so good with children. I have been doing clomid and its not working so far. We took a two month break because I needed to have some surgery, but will try a few more months before we go to see a specialist. We too love Disney and I do the same thing, work and plan on Disney trips to take my mind off of why I can't have a child....we usually do two trips a year...and most times can't take my children as they are in year round school here in NC so they have to visit their father during their vacation times. So we are looking forward to being able to share our love of Disney with a little one too....but again we are sooooo happy for you....we are originally from NJ (essex county/bergen county) and moved south about 4 years ago. I would love to be updated too....so if you have some info and want to share you are welcome to pm me too....Best Wishes....and heres to a healthy little one!!!!

[VAN]

I did not read any of the responses but wanted to share something with you.

My youngest brother is not married but wanted to be a father. At the age of 40 he adopted a baby boy from Guatemala. Then a second. And is in process of adopting another baby boy, also from Guatemala.

He is self-employed and we are part of a large family, so there is lots of support and over 45 other grandchildren. The foster mother (also a U.S. citizen) thinks my brother is the BEST for being able to provide a happy, safe, and secure environment for these kids. There is a lot of poverty down there and, if these babies has not been adopted, would not have had much of a life.

We are so thankful that their mothers (who were in dire straits) loved these kids enough to put them up for adoption.

We have met other families while visiting Guatemala who have adopted and the love that they have to share is unbelieveable.

I do have to say that my mother loves these boys more than her own flesh-and-blood. LOL!

Just couldn't help but pass this along. Best of luck!

[aclov]

I did not read any of the responses but wanted to share something with you.

My youngest brother is not married but wanted to be a father. At the age of 40 he adopted a baby boy from Guatemala. Then a second. And is in process of adopting another baby boy, also from Guatemala.

He is self-employed and we are part of a large family, so there is lots of support and over 45 other grandchildren. The foster mother (also a U.S. citizen) thinks my brother is the BEST for being able to provide a happy, safe, and secure environment for these kids. There is a lot of poverty down there and, if these babies has not been adopted, would not have had much of a life.

We are so thankful that their mothers (who were in dire straits) loved these kids enough to put them up for adoption.

We have met other families while visiting Guatemala who have adopted and the love that they have to share is unbelieveable.

I do have to say that my mother loves these boys more than her own flesh-and-blood. LOL!

Just couldn't help but pass this along. Best of luck!

VAN - Thanks so much for sharing, I love hearing of stories like these! My boss actually used a surrogate at the age of 40 and his daughter is now 6 and the cutest.:cutie: I was looking awhile back into adopting from Guatemala but it seemed very expensive and than they were pulled from the approved list. It's good to hear your brother is able to adopt from there.

[hematite153]

Van, thanks for the story.

Most international adoptions are not available to my DW and I unless I lie and pretend that I'm not married. Many same-sex couples do this, but, I am not comfortable with it. Actually, the one international adoption option that I have been considering is the US!

With the adoption of the Hague Convention (as of Apr 1st) there's going to be a delay for the next little while and infants will have to be placed in foster care for awhile before being eligible for international adoption--we'll have to wait and see how that changes things. But, prior to that there have been roughly 100 US children internationally adopted into Canada each year for the last while. The reports suggest that these children were mostly healthy infants that adoptive parents were able to take home from the hospital after waits of about a year.

I keep wondering how there are healthy US babies available when so many Americans are going overseas to adopt. But, I may yet end up taking advantage of it.

We've actually started looking at adoption a bit more thoroughly. I think that if we go this route I'd most likely end up adopting a sibling group of older children--I just get heart-broken when I hear their stories.

I've found that my views on adoption and on having a biological child are quite different. I actually think that I want to do both, but, for VERY different reasons. One is NOT a substitute for the other.

I've been staying away from this thread because it's challenging to talk about. But, I should share that our IVF cycle failed.

At one point I had 35 growing follicles, but, they only managed to harvest 14 eggs, 11 were mature, 7 fertilized and 4 made it to day 5. Generally speaking good stats for IVF, but, the number drop off at every step was very depressing. Also, only 2 of the 4 that made it to day 5 successfully made it to the blastocyst stage. So, we transfered these 2, but, they didn't implant.

The egg retrieval was the most painful thing I've ever experienced (and my ovaries were screaming with pain for a full week afterwards). But, I'm probably going to do it again. If anyone has any advice around the pain, please let me know.

[Nennie]

Hello All! I hope everyone is having a great week!!!

Eeyore -- Thank you so much for the well wishes. Best of luck with the Clomid, and if you ever have any questions about fertility treatment, etc, please feel free to PM me! Have you been just reating with a regular OB/GYN? If so, I would definitely recommend getting to an RE, as they do so much more testing, monitoring, etc. Good luck!

Van -- Thanks so much for sharing your brother's great story! He is lucky to have adopted internationally before the doors shut, as they are starting to close and make international adoptions rather difficult. We looked into adopting domestically, but unfortunately due to the problems in international adoption, it seems that everyone has rushed to get on the waiting list for domestic, so we were faced with a 2 year wait. So frustrating! So happy for your brother though!!!

Hematite -- I am so very sorry to hear about your failed IVF cycle. That's wonderful that you had some embies make to blast stage though. I always had to do a 3 day transfer, b/c they wouldn't make it to 5 day. The fact that some made it, must mean that you have some good quality there, so I would definitely give it another go! As for the pain, it sounds as though you might have developed OHSS? I know they told me to drink lots and lots of Gatorade following the retrieval to help with the pain. HUGS!!!!!!!!!

[hematite153]

As for the pain, it sounds as though you might have developed OHSS? I know they told me to drink lots and lots of Gatorade following the retrieval to help with the pain. HUGS!!!!!!!!!

No. They were monitoring me VERY closely for OHSS because I was considered extremely high risk. But, I never developed any of the symptoms that they were watching for. I did gain 3.6 lbs between taking the hCG trigger and the morning of my egg retrieval and another lb the next day. But, then, I lost it steadily from there (actually down to 5 lbs less than I was before we started the IVF cycle).

The pain was pretty focused on the egg retrieval itself (I was screaming on the table and scaring the resident) and the associated trauma. I have fibromyalgia and I found a neuroimaging study that showed a failure for the narcotics to change pain levels in a subgroup of about a third of fibromyalgic women. I experienced surgical awareness when I had dental surgery as a teenager, so I assume it's connected. I'm going to speak with an acupuncturist before we do it again to see if I can try using acupuncture instead of narcotics.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey guys, don't some of you know about this DVC thing? My cousin wants to go to WDW with us in December so she can have more hands to help with her 2 little ones (3 & 6), so I thought maybe would could rent DVC points cheaper than anything. There would be 8 of us, 3 adults (18 & over) and 2 juniors (17 & 10) and the 2 little ones. My questions is do you know anyone that rents their points and that is reliable. Looks like I would need about 284 points for a 2BR at OKW. Is this even the wisest choice. Please help me, I really want them to be able to go, my cousin and the 2 little ones have never been and she has to go when it is cooler because of her heart.

Suzanne

[Nennie]

Hello all!! I hope everyone had a nice weekend! DH and I holed up at home, and watched the Masters all weekend (and ate junkfood, LOL!). Now it's back to work, boo!

Suzanne -- Renting points from a DVC member is a great idea!! I rented points a few years ago, and had such a great trip that we ended up buying in! LOL!!! I didn't know about the Disboards rent/trade board back then, so I actually purchased the vacation off of ebay. I would definitely post on the rent/trade board, with what you are looking for, and see if anyone has points to rent you (I'm sure there will be)!! December is a popular DVC time, b/c points are low, so I would try to have someone book it for you right away! Let me know how you make out!!!

Hematite -- That is so horrible that the pain medication did not work for you!! I don't know if this would help with your medical condition, but do you know if they did "twilight sedation" or regular anesthesia? Many places use twilight, which isn't as strong. My old RE did twilight (and I felt it a little, although not nearly as bad as you did), but my new RE does regular anesthesia and didn't feel (or remember) a thing. I didn't even remember talking to the doctor before they put me under! Just a thought! Good luck!!!

[Leger13]

Hello everyone...sorry I haven't really been posting much. It gets hard to talk about this stuff after a while. I have been lurking though.

Glad to hear that one of us was successful in pregnancy! And the adoption stories are great too :thumbsup2

I'm sorry to hear of everyone else's pain and struggles with infertility still :sad2:

I'm moving a bit forward myself again. I finally got to see my RE last Friday and she wants my DH's test done before I see her again which will be when my next AF starts. She's also re-checking my thyroid because she said the last test my other doc did was borderline. :confused3 She seems to be a good doctor and I'm very excited that she seems to be already headed in the direction of treatment. Just a couple more things to do to see what our plan of action is going to be! :thumbsup2

I wish all of you the best of luck and even if I don't post regularly, I'm still right here with you all! :goodvibes

[Starr_DJ]

Hematite - I had the same problem for my 2nd IVF. I was in so much pain during the retrieval that I almost passed out! I could barely move for days afterwards. I didn't have the pain for my 1st one, so the dr's excuse was that they must have been going through scar tissue (yah, right!!!). I told them at my 3rd IVF to give me extra drugs, and it barely hurt at all. Maybe that's all you need. (BTW, all 3 IVF's miserable failures, now have switched dr's, and are going for IVF #4 in a few weeks). Hope that helps you. Good luck!

[Melanie98]

I am so sorry to hear about all the losses and struggles of everyone here. I know how horribly painful infertility can be. I lost 5 babies due to ectopic pregnancies. After my third loss I also lost my mind. I struggled with a horrible depression and lost most of my friends during that time because I couldn't stand to be around them (most of them pregnant then). By the grace of God, after my third loss I was blessed with a beautiful son through adoption. It was a very scary experience, but overall our adoption went better than we could have ever planned. We adopted privately in the US. Our son's birthmother was so wonderful. She put our feelings first in all the decision making leading up to (and during) our son's birth. She allowed me to be in the delivery room when he was born (I even cut the cord). As soon as he was born he was all ours (really even before then). The process was costly (especially on two teacher salaries), but since we did it privately and we were able to handle most everything ourselves we finished the entire adoption for just uner $12k, and the entire process took us about 2 months (which I totally realize is extremely rare, and in this case just God's way of saving my sanity).

My son is now 3.5 years old. Sadly, our marriage did not survive all the difficulties. We split up when my son was 1. However, we both realize how privileged we are to be parents, and neither of us have taken that for granted for a moment. Although me and my ex live in two different houses we still parent together every day. We live in adjoining neighborhoods and participate in everything together. We actually even have dinner together quite frequently (with my soon-to-be new husband too). For most people our family life seems a little weird, but for us it makes the most sense. My son has two parents who wished for him for a very long time, and we both just want to be with him as much as possible.

Infertility is so awful, and dealing with losses can make you crazy. Although I know most people probably cope better than I did, I would really advise searching for support from people who have been there. And, although online support is great, sometimes it takes more than that. Don't be afraid to admit that you are overwhelmed.

Also, if anyone is considering pursuing independent adoption, I'd be happy to share more about how we did it. Just let me know.

Best of luck to all of you in your journey to become parents!

P.S. With my upcoming marriage I am also getting another son! Just another example of how mysterious life can be. Things don't always go as planned but rainbows always come after the rain! :goodvibes

[Golden Rose]

I posted a while back, but I've been too emotional to be coherent about the subject for a time. DH and I are struggling with secondary infertility - we have one son (age 3), and have not been able to have another child. I had an ectopic pregnancy rupture last year; it destroyed the tube and almost killed me. Then I've had a series of cysts on the other tube - the paratubal cyst is now back for the 3rd time and both my OB/GYN and our second opinion doctor insist that the tube needs to be removed because the risk of another ectopic pregnancy is amazingly high.

We're left with IVF and/or adoption as options, and we've decided to go down both roads simultaneously so that something will work. We looked at domestic adoption initially, and were told that we were not good candidates because birthmothers don't want a family that has a biological child. I've considering still setting up a website and hoping, but I don't see how I can really put my hopes on it.

So we're considering starting the really long path to a Chinese daughter. We've thought seriously about adopting from Russia, but we're worried about the potential health and attachment issues. We're also going to start our first IVF cycle, assuming the results of the first round of tests come back as we hope they will. (We're just waiting for my next cycle to do the tests... assuming we're not still on vacation when it starts. I've been joking that I'm really glad we'd already booked and paid for our Disney vacation before we found out we'd be paying for IVF and/or adoption.)

I'm definitely more than a little frightened of doing IVF. One of my best friends went through it and ended up with twins, but I know so many people who have done it without success. I am really concerned about spending so much money and going through so much pain, both emotional and physical... and not ending up with a child. But, that is part of why we decided to start the road to a foreign adoption, so that even if IVF fails, I'll know we haven't lost all hope.

[hematite153]

Hematite - I had the same problem for my 2nd IVF. I was in so much pain during the retrieval that I almost passed out! I could barely move for days afterwards. I didn't have the pain for my 1st one, so the dr's excuse was that they must have been going through scar tissue (yah, right!!!). I told them at my 3rd IVF to give me extra drugs, and it barely hurt at all. Maybe that's all you need. (BTW, all 3 IVF's miserable failures, now have switched dr's, and are going for IVF #4 in a few weeks). Hope that helps you. Good luck!

Thanks for letting me know that I'm not the only one to have had such a painful egg retrieval. Unfortunately, they kept adding drugs and said that they had maxed me out--that's the point at which they asked me if I wanted them to stop.

I'm hoping to get a call into the acupuncturist who works with our clinic tomorrow--I've been having trouble finding time during daytime hours.

I know how horribly painful infertility can be....

Thanks for sharing your story. Congratulations on your sons!

...DH and I are struggling with secondary infertility... both my OB/GYN and our second opinion doctor insist that the tube needs to be removed because the risk of another ectopic pregnancy is amazingly high.

We're left with IVF and/or adoption as options, and we've decided to go down both roads simultaneously so that something will work. We looked at domestic adoption initially, and were told that we were not good candidates.... So we're considering starting the really long path to a Chinese daughter.

It's really hard when the medical opinion feels like it's crushing your hopes.

IVF is a viable option that works well in many cases. I hope you get to be one of the lucky ones.

If you're open to a racially different child (which it seems you are, given that you're looking at China) you may wish to look into domestic adoption again. Whenever I investigate adoption I keep coming back to information that there are healthy black and mixed race infants available for adoption who end up in foster care and can even be available for international adoption to Canada. There are some agencies that talk about average waits of 2-6 months and say that they will work with adoptive parents from anywhere in the US.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Just thought I'd stop by and say hi :wave:

You would all be proud of me....

Not

So

Much.....

I had a panic attack at the Gyn's office on Friday. I don't know what happened to me. I think it was my hormones. AF had visited earlier in the week and was almost gone, but I cried several times over the prior couple of days. I guess I just got overwhelmed and I just started crying out of no where All but 3 of the women in the waiting room were pregnant and 2 of thois 3 had newborns with them.

AF is over now and I feel fine, NOW :scared1: I kinda freaked myself out.

We leave for Disney again in 25 days and I will be 35 in 26 days, that just sucks. Dh says "Well I will be 30 in August" I told him he ought to be glad he was only 30, what I wouldn't give to be 30 again, well maybe not, but I don't want to be 35. That is about half way to old.

We are taking my 10 year old cousin to WDW with us, she is so excited. She went with us on our first trip 3 years ago and she says she doesn't remember much. She has matured so much since then. I love that little girl, not so little anymore. She would be so disappointed if I did have a baby, because she thinks she is mine, and I love that.

We are working on our Grand Gathering for December. My portion of the party has decided to move to Wilderness Lodge and my cousin and her sister and 2 little ones are probably going to stay at Pop Century. I just couldn't stay too close to her, I might get stuck babysitting and I am not going to babysit. I say we are going to stay at WL, but if my AAA TA doesn't get herself together, I may not have a room anywhere. How hard is it to change a ressie? Hopefully tomorrow she will get it fixed and I promise I will not change it again.

Well, I better get to bed now, I am getting sleepy.

Suzanne

[Leger13]

Just thought I'd stop by and say hi :wave:

You would all be proud of me....

Not

So

Much.....

I had a panic attack at the Gyn's office on Friday. I don't know what happened to me. I think it was my hormones. AF had visited earlier in the week and was almost gone, but I cried several times over the prior couple of days. I guess I just got overwhelmed and I just started crying out of no where All but 3 of the women in the waiting room were pregnant and 2 of thois 3 had newborns with them.

AF is over now and I feel fine, NOW :scared1: I kinda freaked myself out.

We leave for Disney again in 25 days and I will be 35 in 26 days, that just sucks. Dh says "Well I will be 30 in August" I told him he ought to be glad he was only 30, what I wouldn't give to be 30 again, well maybe not, but I don't want to be 35. That is about half way to old.

We are taking my 10 year old cousin to WDW with us, she is so excited. She went with us on our first trip 3 years ago and she says she doesn't remember much. She has matured so much since then. I love that little girl, not so little anymore. She would be so disappointed if I did have a baby, because she thinks she is mine, and I love that.

We are working on our Grand Gathering for December. My portion of the party has decided to move to Wilderness Lodge and my cousin and her sister and 2 little ones are probably going to stay at Pop Century. I just couldn't stay too close to her, I might get stuck babysitting and I am not going to babysit. I say we are going to stay at WL, but if my AAA TA doesn't get herself together, I may not have a room anywhere. How hard is it to change a ressie? Hopefully tomorrow she will get it fixed and I promise I will not change it again.

Well, I better get to bed now, I am getting sleepy.

Suzanne

So sorry to hear you had a rough time at the doctor's office. During that time of the month it's hard to hold back the emotions. I had a doc appointment last week too. My Mom wanted to come with me but couldn't. This is a regular occurance so I was pretty peeved. She was very upset she couldn't come. I ended up making her cry, which in turn made me cry. Plus it was that time of the month for me too. So, hopefully it makes you feel better that you're not the only one that had a nervous break down. At least you didn't make your mom cry :goodvibes

That's awesome that you are getting to celebrate your BDay in WDW! :banana: I hope you have a great time! So cool that you are taking your cousin with you. I'm sure you all will have a fantastic time. Don't forget to wear your birthday button :thumbsup2

And another trip in December huh? Lucky duck!! It's good to hear from you. I haven't been around much myself. It's so hard to come to this thread sometimes

[PammyJJane]

I'd just like to say that we recently adopted two children from the foster system - they were 18 months and 35 months when they came to us. When I was younger, I wasn't sure I wanted children. When I got older, I did want children but definitely did not want to be pregnant after an awful miscarriage.

We became foster parents to help out a particular child who was a young teen; that did not work out but the first day we were eligible we were called about our daughters. I'd never really seriously considered adoption before...but I'd like to answer a few questions you may or may not have, possibly some you wouldn't dare ask.

Will I love them as much as my own? Do you love your spouse or significant other? How much? I'll assume you're not related to them. :) How about a friend? How about anyone else in the world to whom you're not directly related...wouldn't you love them more if they were biologically "yours"? Probably not. If you are of a personality to love a child, then I'd say yes, you will probably love them fiercely.

How can I afford to adopt children? Well, we adopted a sibling group and though we had no idea at the time, we actually receive money for their care every month because siblings are considered "special needs". We'll receive this money until they are 18 or 22 if they go to college.

But I want a baby! Well babies are available from the foster system but it's rare. And yes, babies are terribly cute...but babyhood is fleeting. You don't get 5 yrs with a tiny little infant. In fact you just get a few weeks with an itsy bitsy infant. And the lack of sleep, and colic-y babies are no joke.

Won't people look at me and pity me for having to adopt? Who knows? People may be pitying me behind my back, I don't know - if so I suppose I'd just shake my head at them. But actually I just hear how wonderful we are all the time for adopting these children, as though we were saints for taking in two children that have given us so much joy and laughter.

But...foster kids are damaged goods. There are no children in the foster system that have had entirely stable happy beginnings - their parents have died, or the children or parents are ill, or parents are uncaring/abusive, or are addicted...and it is sad, yes. And it hurts them, of course. But life can be painful, and no one's life will be perfect. Children are astoundingly resilient and you would not believe how much love and discipline can cure and I tell you this as the voice of experience. But yes,there are children who have severe medical problems or severe emotional problems that a stable household itself can't resolve. You will be asked to set your limits on initial foster care forms. If you are unable to care for a child with even a mild medical, emotional or cognitive deficit, simply be honest about it on the forms.

Will I be approved? You can be a foster parent and adopt if you rent a home, are single, or are gay (these are all changes over the last several decades). There are few limitations if you're a stable adult who wants to provide a loving home. The requirements for your state are easy to research.

It's not an option for everyone, but it is an option for some. The foster care system is also often not easy to deal with, and it can range from wonderful to horrible depending on your worker - even in the same county.

For most people, it's just not necessary to sit and wish for a child, while there are children waiting for loving homes.

[hematite153]

PammyJJane--Welcome and thanks for your story. What you describe is what I keep imagining and feeling. We have some things still to work through, but, I think we may end up going that way. I have to sort out the specifics of my eligibility though since I am a US citizen living in Canada. It's always great to hear successful stories and to hear how much love is out there waiting to be found.

For now...we've started a second IVF round. I go for bloodwork tomorrow to find out if I've successfully down-regulated. ....

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi all, just checking in. Not much going on here. Just getting ready for my birthday trip to WDW.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday. It was nice to be off work for something besides illness.

Sunday we went to Alpharetta for my cousin's 10th birthday, we went to the American Girl Boutique and Bistro. I got 3 dolls for my birthday and we participated in the Birthday party they were having for one of the dolls and that was really fun. The food is fabulous. I know it is a little out there, but that is my kinda thing.

I got a bad report from my Pap last month and have to have a colposcopy on June 12 after returning from our trip and I am not looking forward to that. I always thought I would end up with cancer or someting wrong instead of a baby/child. I am not going to worry about it, because there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

Suzanne

[PammyJJane]

PammyJJane--Welcome and thanks for your story. What you describe is what I keep imagining and feeling. We have some things still to work through, but, I think we may end up going that way. I have to sort out the specifics of my eligibility though since I am a US citizen living in Canada. It's always great to hear successful stories and to hear how much love is out there waiting to be found.

For now...we've started a second IVF round. I go for bloodwork tomorrow to find out if I've successfully down-regulated. ....


Best of luck to you!!! I really believe if you want it, parenthood can happen for nearly anyone, one way or another. I always wondered if I'd be a Mom and I didn't know the answer to that until I was 41! I know some of my empty nest friends are considering the foster to adopt option now...

I still think about having a baby - at my age I have NO time to mess around though, lol - so to speak. ;) I would like a little boy though and if I could be guaranteed a boy I'd be trying right now. But then I think...there are some little boys here that need homes...Either way my little ones need to get a bit older. Another child under the age of 5 in this house right now would juuust about send me over the edge. :)

[PammyJJane]

Hi all, just checking in. Not much going on here. Just getting ready for my birthday trip to WDW.

Hope everyone had a nice holiday. It was nice to be off work for something besides illness.

Sunday we went to Alpharetta for my cousin's 10th birthday, we went to the American Girl Boutique and Bistro. I got 3 dolls for my birthday and we participated in the Birthday party they were having for one of the dolls and that was really fun. The food is fabulous. I know it is a little out there, but that is my kinda thing.

I got a bad report from my Pap last month and have to have a colposcopy on June 12 after returning from our trip and I am not looking forward to that. I always thought I would end up with cancer or someting wrong instead of a baby/child. I am not going to worry about it, because there is nothing I can do about it anyway.

Suzanne

Suzanne, abnormal pap smears are very, very common and definitely don't mean you're going to get cancer. They might want to do a little procedure on some tissue if the colposcopy indicates changes in the cells (freezing or laser removal), but even so it won't have an effect on your fertility chances. Try not to let it worry you.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne, abnormal pap smears are very, very common and definitely don't mean you're going to get cancer. They might want to do a little procedure on some tissue if the colposcopy indicates changes in the cells (freezing or laser removal), but even so it won't have an effect on your fertility chances. Try not to let it worry you.


Been there done tht before. I have had this procedure before, so I am quite familiar with it. I know about what I am in for. I know I have several polyps. I know I have gone the longest of any woman in my family without having a hysterectomy or other severe problems. I have even been diagnosed with HPV and that was before I had even met my husband and been with a man. I have NO fertility. We CANNOT have a biological child without IVF and besides not having the money for that, it probably wouldn't work. I gave up on wanting a child about a year ago. So unless I win the lottery, I WILL NOT be a mother and that is all I know. I am a pretty good predictor of my life. I have too many other people to do for to think about myself.

I'm not worried about it, I have Disney and that is all I have to look forwrd to.

Suzanne

[hematite153]

I still think about having a baby - at my age I have NO time to mess around though, lol - so to speak. ;) I would like a little boy though and if I could be guaranteed a boy I'd be trying right now.

Thanks for the support. There's actually some evidence that suggests you can semi-control gender based on timing relative to ovulation. If you really want to try for a boy, you could do some reading on that.

Congratulations on your daughters!

[PammyJJane]

Been there done tht before. I have had this procedure before, so I am quite familiar with it. I know about what I am in for. I know I have several polyps. I know I have gone the longest of any woman in my family without having a hysterectomy or other severe problems. I have even been diagnosed with HPV and that was before I had even met my husband and been with a man. I have NO fertility. We CANNOT have a biological child without IVF and besides not having the money for that, it probably wouldn't work. I gave up on wanting a child about a year ago. So unless I win the lottery, I WILL NOT be a mother and that is all I know. I am a pretty good predictor of my life. I have too many other people to do for to think about myself.

I'm not worried about it, I have Disney and that is all I have to look forwrd to.

Suzanne


I'm sorry to hear about your health problems. Have a wonderful time at Disney!

[hematite153]

Hey Suzanne, in case I don't get on here much in the next few days....

Have a great trip!!!

party:

[ReaderGirl]

Hi everybody.

My husband and I couldn't have kids, we're 45 now, and it's just not going to happen.

Everyone has such a different approach; everyone is following a different path... I'd be very interested to talk to Disney fans who were unable to have kids, who have decided against adoption for whatever reason, basically, women who, like me, have decided to go forth with a childless life. :moped: I know there are lots of women on this thread who are ardently seeking a pregnancy (more power to you!), so this would be a "different take".

There is a childfree by choice thread, and I've posted there sometimes. I get the feeling that the childfree group is a bit younger than I, and (obviously, given my member name) I'm a stay-home-and-read-a-book sort of girl, not really much of a party girl. And I never said "I want to be childfree"; it just sort of happened.

I think I'll start a new thread and see if anyone wants to chat. I'll call it Childless and Moving On... how's that sound? Here's a little starter -- I live in the Midwest, love Disney (of course), am married, don't have a dog yet but want one, read voraciously, and (drum roll...) I like to tap dance! I love to travel (especially to warm places when it's 10 degrees in the Midwest).

If you are childless and probably gonna stay that way, please come chat with me! :lovestruc
ReaderGirl :hippie:
P.S. I just finished Confessions of a Jane Austen Addict. Not the best book I ever read, but it was fun.

[hematite153]

Hey ReaderGirl, that sounds like a good thread idea. Since I'm in the group that's still actively trying to get pregnant, I'll hang out here rather than risk changing the tone of your new thread. But, I think you're right, the reasons why you end up childfree colour your outlook on many things. So, I hope you find some people who've been lurking around these threads wishing for one that fit them more precisely.

[ReaderGirl]

Thanks Hematite (are you a jeweler?),

I hope someone shows up to chat. If not, I'll probably loop back around here!

When I read about everyone trying to get pregnant, it feels like a loss all over again. My biological clock is real, and at some point, it's just over, and I want to enjoy life and not spend time stressing about things I can't control.

Also, I had a serious health scare last year, and I know that life is short, and I want to spend my time living it.

That said, I wish all of you still trying the greatest luck! Lots of people *do* have children, even with fertility problems. So do what's right for you! :cutie:

Anyway, have a great day! See y'all at Disney!! (I'll be the one watching Mickey's Philharmagic over and over again...).
ReaderGirl :hippie:

[CELTIC246]

My Loving husband booked us our first trip to Disneyworld after our 6th miscarriage this one at 14 weeks. WE seem to have no problem conceiving and have had all the tests but nothing turned up as being "wrong" He surprised me with a christmas at disney as something to look forward to besides having a baby and keeps pointing out how much more we will enjoy taking our kids after we have already been there!! I am a disney fanatic and have dragged DH to Disneyland a couple times a year when we were living in San Diego now that we moved to Hawaii it is a little harder to get my disney fix! I wish us all luck and happiness!

[hematite153]

Welcome Celtic246. I'm sorry to hear of your losses and I wish you a fabulous wdw vacation. I agree that every time we go we learn more about how to design fantastic wdw vacations.

We've just finished a second failed IVF round. I'm particularly frustrated because they still can't seem to tell us about anything that's wrong. I had 12 eggs, 10 mature, 9 fertilized and EIGHT made it to day 5--that's practically unheard of! But, the two we transferred didn't implant and keep growing. Argh! We have 2 frozen embryos and we'll have our follow-up discussion at the end of July. I'm doing lots of research in the meantime to try to figure out what options remain.

ReaderGirl--it looks like your thread has gotten some interest and action. Congratulations. Btw, no, I'm not a jeweler, just a former geologist who has always had a fondness for Fe2O3.

Nennie--I haven't heard from you, how're you doing? Feel free to respond by pm if needed.

[jelawson]

.

[hematite153]

Welcome jelawson!

My advice on what to say and how to handle it is to be open and honest.

If you try to play the game of hiding the fact that you actually are trying, you lose out on the opportunity to get support from your friends and family. Plus, then you end up getting hurt by the people who keep pushing. You may find that if you are honest with people they won't know what to do or say and may stumble (and/or start avoiding the topic altogether) in which case you'll need to do some educating about what you need from them.

I should add that my advice is completely contrary to societal norms, but, it is what I've learned after 4.5 years of walking this path.

However, to support my perspective, there's a fair bit of research on infertility and depression that seems to indicate that the practice of not talking about it makes things worse.

Good luck!

As for your question about adoption from China, I know very little, but, there have been a couple of people on this thread previously who might be able to help.

[jelawson]

[

[hematite153]

I'm just afraid that my family will say "Oh, you're still young - it will happen" without being sympathetic and supporting me.

Yep, I'm sure some of them will say that.

After our last failed IVF round my mother said, "well, now you can go on vacation without morning sickness." I know that her intention was to be sympathetic, but, it came across as brutally cruel and insensitive.

That's why I said you will probably also have to do some educating with regards to what you actually need from them.

Btw, if you haven't already spoken with a doctor about your difficulties TTC, it might be a good idea. The family history of difficulties might point to things that can actually be overcome with treatment. (Note: most people start with their GP, but, if you can get a referral to an RE they will know a LOT more about what might be going on.)

[RCDisneyFan]

hematite153 - thanks for the advice. I'm just afraid that my family will say "Oh, you're still young - it will happen" without being sympathetic and supporting me. As I mentioned before, my mom tried for 13 years before me and my aunt and uncle had issues with conceiving too...and they were older than I am when they finally had their kids. I just wish I could wear a shirt to the wedding that said "We are trying but we aren't successful" or "Childless but not by choice so don't ask!"

The worst person I think is DH's brother. He's greedy and hates that we are DINKS. He and his wife got pregnant right away (nephew is 2 now) and they think we "throw" our money away at Disney. He says "You need a kid - then you wouldn't have so much disposable income" to which I want to reply "YOU ARE AN INSENSITIVE JERK" (but throw in some other words too..) They are planning on starting to try for #2 soon and I just know it's going to happen right away. UGH...



I agree with hematite - talk to people and definitely, definitely go to the doctor if you haven't already. I don't know if your infertility is idiopathic or due to a medical issue. Mine is medical - and although telling people about it hasn't directly helped me come to terms with not having a biological child, I now know nobody at a family gathering will ask us when we're going to have kids and I know there are no sideways glances about "choosing our lifestyle" over having kids. (We go to WDW every year, spend too much money going to the movies and enjoy some wine with dinner occasionally.)

Fair warning, by telling people you may hear a lot of sympathetic clucking and some people will talk to you as if your world has ended because you can't conceive. And we did hear "oh it'll happen for you eventually" ALOT before we found out we couldn't. To me, it's really disappointing, and sometimes I'm a little bit angry about it (it's only been 3 months since we found out) but it isn't the end of my world..

If I were you I would also have a conversation with DH about your BIL. It's absolutely none of his business what you guys do with your income. He could just as easily say you shouldn't go to WDW until you've got enough money to retire. He's being nosy, jealous and hurtful all at once. Not nice. But getting the information that you're struggling out there should at least curb it.

[Golden Rose]

This is about as close as I've come to an infertility support group, even as sporadically as I post, so I wanted to come here and talk again. We were looking at IVF, but after doing the Clomid challenge, we discovered I am not a good candidate after all. My numbers were really bad. (I have a three year old that we had no trouble conceiving... how the heck can I be most of the way to early menopause?)

We're looking at either adoption or trying surrogacy with one of my sister's eggs. (My sister said rather flippantly at a family gathering that she would give me eggs, but I'm honestly not sure how serious she is.) A wonderful friend of mine has offered to carry a child for me, and I know she has thought about it seriously and talked it over with her husband... but I'm not going to pin any hopes on that until I talk more seriously with my sister. I'm perfectly comfortable with adopting, but I am surprised at how much resistance I am currently facing with my family. My husband has come around to willingness and interest, but my father has been very negative and my mom hasn't been much better. It would matter to me less what they thought if I were less close to them. I don't know what we're going to do, so I'm gathering the paperwork for a homestudy and going back to meet with the head doctor at the IVF group next week to discuss our options.

In the meantime, we decided to go ahead and buy DVC. (Because there aren't enough things to spend money on trying to have another child. :rolleyes: ) We actually were going to put it off, but with all the uncertainty about which route to follow to increase our family size, we decided to go ahead and do it now.

[secretpantssam]

I'm reading this post at just the right time. I am not woman trying to have children, but I am actually in the process of donating my eggs. I decided a few months back that I really wanted to help a couple by donating eggs, being that I'm not using them right now, obviously, and some times I really not sure if children are for me. But recently, I've been doing my daily injections which have been making my stomach sore and making feel bloated and very grumpy. My egg retrieval is supposed to be later this week, but I was worried it wasn't coming soon enough. The side effects made me loose sight of why I started this whole process to begin with. But after reading some of your posts, I remembered why I was doing this and why this is so important. I may be uncomfortable for a few more days, but it's really going to mean the world to one couple. So thank you Disers and I wish you all the best of luck! :hug:

[hematite153]

This is about as close as I've come to an infertility support group, even as sporadically as I post, so I wanted to come here and talk again. ....

Golden Rose -- this is a good group of people, even though the postings have died down. Good to see you again.

It's funny how other people in our lives can have such different approaches from us, isn't it. When we were first talking about TTC (5 years ago!) I didn't think that I could handle adoption because we have lots of bad adoption stories in my family. But, now, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it, researching, asking questions, etc. and I think that I want to adopt regardless of whether we are successful at having a bio child. In contrast, my DW started with the question of whether we should bother TTC or just start with adoption. Now, she's really focused on having a bio child and is a lot more leery of adoption.

Depending upon the way your family works, I might feel more confident with egg donation from your friend than your sister. It sounds like she's really thought it through, whereas your sister said it off-hand. At one point my DW and I discussed asking her brothers if they would donate sperm as the closest genetic option for us to have a child that is biologically both of ours. We would have mixed the sperm and therefore not have known which one was the biological father. But, I've frequently been glad that we chose to use anonymous donor sperm without bothering to ask. Family dynamics can be tricky and they don't really need these kinds of added pressures. (If your sister does say she'll donate eggs, make sure she's really okay with it and won't hold it over you later.)

In terms of the rest of the family, you and your DH obviously need to be on the same page. But, once you figure that out, you can probably get some help figuring out how to get your family to commit. If nothing else, there are a bunch of books on the subject, but, you can probably find some online support groups, or, even some local ones.

I'm reading this post at just the right time. ... I am actually in the process of donating my eggs. ... The side effects made me loose sight of why I started this whole process to begin with. But after reading some of your posts, I remembered why I was doing this and why this is so important. I may be uncomfortable for a few more days, but it's really going to mean the world to one couple. So thank you Disers and I wish you all the best of luck! :hug:

Thank you for giving someone this gift. The side effects of growing eggs for retrieval can really be brutal, but, you're right, it's a short term problem with a possibility of long-term joy.

[choirchic]

This is the beginning of my journey, so I felt like sharing...

I'm 30 and was on Depo Provera Birth Control Shots for over 7 years!!!
DH and I decided that we wanted to have kids so I made an appointment, talked to my docs, and then stopped my shots...
I went through a rough time coming off of it. It was almost like my body was in withdrawl!

I'm also battling some Thyroid/Pituitary issues and PCOS so I'm taking meds and trying VERY hard to lose weight!
(I've been told this will help with fertility)

It has taken almost a year, and a course of Provera to get my cycle back, but my docs think I'm finally starting to ovulate! :cool1:

Fingers Crossed!
Thanks to everyone for posting their stories!
You're all such strong and inspirational women!

[PrincessSuzanne]

I haven't read the last few pages, but I have been thinking about all of you an wondering how you are doing? Dh and I are doing well.

We FINALLY got mom's family here to collect their inherited pieces of furniture and we have torn the carpet out of most of the house, thank goodness the hardwoods look pretty good. We have all switched bedrooms and we have a little more space and finally got a decent bed.

I have been overly busy at work and sometimes helping out 2 other hospitals we have accts with. I am now back to only working 2 hospitals now and waiting for next weekend.

Mom and I are taking a long weekend and going to Disney for Labor Day, only staying 2 nights, but this is much needed. We havefinally finished all this going to court for wills and child support for my cousin, so we can breathe easily

Please stop by and let me know how you are doing?

Suzanne

[RCDisneyFan]

I'm also battling some Thyroid/Pituitary issues and PCOS so I'm taking meds and trying VERY hard to lose weight!
(I've been told this will help with fertility)


As one who has had thyroid issues and ovarian cysts (not PCOS, but I feel your pain!) I can't stress enough that you should be very clear and firm with your gyn. Thyroid issues and PCOS can both affect fertility and you should try to get a fertility work-up if you're not successful within 6 months.

We tried for about 8 months before I convinced my gyn to put me through a laparoscopy for endometriosis - and tube check whilst he was there.
Found out we'd been wasting our time for months because one tube was totally closed, the other swollen and twisted up and both ovaries covered in scar tissue (from the endo and the cysts.) That's all the kind of thing they can't feel in an exam, can't see on an x-ray, can't tell from bloodwork and can't even validate 100% with a HSG.

All that said - Good Luck, I'm pulling for you! :cheer2:

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi all, I see you haven't dropped by since my last post, but since you were so wonderful for me, I just wanted to let you know that my mom passed away this morning.

Suzanne

[aclov]

Hi all, I see you haven't dropped by since my last post, but since you were so wonderful for me, I just wanted to let you know that my mom passed away this morning.

Suzanne

I haven't posted here in a while or on the other childless thread but just wanted to express my deepest sympathy on your loss.:sad1: I'm so sorry.

[hematite153]

Oh Suzanne! I just read the post about the labour day trip and was planning to celebrate that and then I saw the next post.

I'm so sorry, I know that you were very close and you'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

Let us know if there's anything we can do from a distance.

[want2bamommy]

Hi all, I see you haven't dropped by since my last post, but since you were so wonderful for me, I just wanted to let you know that my mom passed away this morning.

Suzanne

Oh Suzanne I am so sorry to hear that!!! I haven't been on the boards since last December since our last trip. My hugs and prayers to you and your family!!
Missie

[PrincessSuzanne]

Oh Suzanne I am so sorry to hear that!!! I haven't been on the boards since last December since our last trip. My hugs and prayers to you and your family!!
Missie

Hi Missie, How are you doing?

I have had a difficult time here recently. DH took me to WDW 2 weeks ago, and it was so surreal. Mom would have had a great time. I did ALOT of crying, as she loved WDW so much. We really need those hugs right now.

Suzanne

[want2bamommy]

Hi Missie, How are you doing?

I have had a difficult time here recently. DH took me to WDW 2 weeks ago, and it was so surreal. Mom would have had a great time. I did ALOT of crying, as she loved WDW so much. We really need those hugs right now.

Suzanne

Hi, Suzzanne! I am sending your more (((((HUGS)))))!! I can only imagine that it was hard while you were at DW!

I am doing well. I had my Roux-en-y (Gastric Bypass) surgery 6 weeks ago tomorrow. I've already seen a difference in my cycles which is a good sign. I can't TTC for 17 more months and the timing actually works out pretty well as DH is set to leave for Afghanistan in late December. So when he comes home a year later we'll be ready to go! I feel confident about it and will just stay positive!

3 weeks from Friday my parents, sister and her family and I are going on a cruise to the Caribbean. I can't wait! Unfortunately Mark isn't able to go. He missed the dates by literally a few days. I've been on 2 vacations with his family in the past (without him...including Disney) so I'm happy that I am going with my family. My niece will bunk with me so I won't be terribly alone, lol. She is 7 years old.

I'm definitely going to try and keep up on this thread now! My sister and I'd like to go to DW next November for 3 nights for ABC's Super Soap Weekend. We were going to go this year since Mark was supposed to be deployed but then changed it to the cruise, lol.

My prayers will be with you!
Missie

[Mickey'sApprentice]

Hi everyone:

I'm so glad that I found this thread.

Here is my story. My dh and I got married early enough. I was 23 and he was 26. (Honeymooned at Disney) Early on, it seemed like we never had enough money and managed to get in over our head in credit card debt. As unwise as that was, we were responsible enough to NOT get pregnant. By the time I hit 30, things had gotten a lot better and I was able to start focusing on my career. I still had time. At 33, we decided that maybe it was a good idea for me to get off the pill. It still wasn't a great time, but we were happy to let nature take care of itself.

I have never been regular, so we felt like it might not happen right off. No kidding. I waited about 4 years and finally went to an ob/gyn that specialized in fertility. After running bloodwork and asking for a HSG and a sperm sample, the Dr. put me on glucophage. The periods became much more normal. Dh had refused to do the sperm test and I then refused to have the HSG. I let another 2 years slip by. I finally went back at age 39 and had the HSG, and DH had his test too. (It took me 2 years to talk dh into the test and the lab lost it!!!) Anyway, he grumbled and did it again.

Anyway, dh has a problem. We have a follow up exam with the OB/GYN on November 3rd. Hubby has been referred to a urologist and doesn't want to go. He told me that he doesn't want children. We've been married for 16 1/2 years and DH told me last week that he don't want kids. (WHAT?) We've had names, ok a name picked out for years!! {Sarah Ashton} I'm devastated. I have psyched myself up that I would go through whatever procedure was needed.

Deep down I knew his feelings. I was in tears when I got the phone call with a referral for my husband. I thought to myself...anything but that.

Anyway, he don't want kids. He's in the driver's seat, and I can't do anything about it. I know its probably for the best, but it sure does hurt.

I'd appreciate any advice and a :grouphug:

[hematite153]

Missie--good to see you back. I'm glad to hear that your surgery went well and that your timelines all look like they're falling into place. Enjoy the Caribbean. We've been there twice (on cruises) and it's fabulous.

Suzanne--I'm glad you made it to wdw and found a way to mix the fun and the tears. I'm sure it's been a rough adjustment creating a life without your mother. What's happened with your Niece? Didn't your mother have custody? Is she doing okay?

Apprentice--That's a rough story; thanks for sharing it. :grouphug: I can see how you'd feel like you knew deep down given the struggle involved in getting your DH to go for the SA. Given your age you likely don't have a lot of time to figure this out, but, you do have enough time to engage the issue rather than giving up. Can you find a therapist/counselor/etc. that you could both see for awhile to discuss your viewpoints, desires, needs. Can you identify why you want kids and why your DH doesn't? I mean, if the issue was his SA then you do have several options. TESE seems to have improved significantly in recent years and there are probably options available now that wouldn't have been available a couple of years ago. You could use donor sperm (anonymous, or, from a relative). You could adopt. You could foster. For some people they get an "I don't want kids if I can't have my own" attitude. Is this what he's saying? Because if it is, then I can tell you that there is a lot that can be done medically to try to have a biological child. Also, it's a phrase that really seems to have missed the point since once you have a child it will be your own. There's a book a friend gave me called "Child of my Heart" that has brief vignettes of adoption and the strong bond that can be formed between parent and child. Good luck! Feel free to use this thread for support.

[Mickey'sApprentice]

Missie--good to see you back. I'm glad to hear that your surgery went well and that your timelines all look like they're falling into place. Enjoy the Caribbean. We've been there twice (on cruises) and it's fabulous.

Suzanne--I'm glad you made it to wdw and found a way to mix the fun and the tears. I'm sure it's been a rough adjustment creating a life without your mother. What's happened with your Niece? Didn't your mother have custody? Is she doing okay?

Apprentice--That's a rough story; thanks for sharing it. :grouphug: I can see how you'd feel like you knew deep down given the struggle involved in getting your DH to go for the SA. Given your age you likely don't have a lot of time to figure this out, but, you do have enough time to engage the issue rather than giving up. Can you find a therapist/counselor/etc. that you could both see for awhile to discuss your viewpoints, desires, needs. Can you identify why you want kids and why your DH doesn't? I mean, if the issue was his SA then you do have several options. TESE seems to have improved significantly in recent years and there are probably options available now that wouldn't have been available a couple of years ago. You could use donor sperm (anonymous, or, from a relative). You could adopt. You could foster. For some people they get an "I don't want kids if I can't have my own" attitude. Is this what he's saying? Because if it is, then I can tell you that there is a lot that can be done medically to try to have a biological child. Also, it's a phrase that really seems to have missed the point since once you have a child it will be your own. There's a book a friend gave me called "Child of my Heart" that has brief vignettes of adoption and the strong bond that can be formed between parent and child. Good luck! Feel free to use this thread for support.

Thank you hematite.

Dh gave me two reasons why he said he didn't want kids. The #1 reason he said is that his Dad was always a real jerk to him, and always let him know that he was a worthless piece of ____, and that he feared that he would be the same way. Yes, his Dad is really like that, but I really, really don't think my husband would ever be like that. My dh can be judgmental but it is never towards me and is never cruel. He is very warm and affectionate. Matter of fact, I believe he is one of the more warm, caring, compassionate, and helpful mates that a woman could have. The #2 reason he said is that he has seen how my niece and nephews have turned out and believes that our kids would be just as spoiled, and naughty as they are. Ouch! He was telling me the truth, and we have privately discussed my sister's kids before.

I think there is still hope in getting him to come around. He doesn't want me to get back on the pill. I had an upcoming appointment, so I asked if that is what he wanted, and he said no. It's like he is contented with God's will. Of course, I gave the story about the man that refused to be rescued by saying the Lord will provide. The Lord has provided us with all of these nifty treatments. Let's try one, or two, or twenty. I've also told him that I believe that IF he is so aware of the effects a hurtful parent will have on a child that he will be LESS likely to treat a child badly and foster poor self esteem. As for my niece and nephews, they are pretty good kids, but I am pretty sure that dh and I would do some things differently.

By the way, I'm new to this...What is TESE?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Mickey's Apprentince, I don't really have any advice for you, but I wanted to say hi neighbor. We are only about 1 hour west of you in Phenix City, AL.

Dh and I have decided we are content without children. I have had to pick up responsibility of a 17 year old since my mom passed away in August and boy is that an awakening.

Hematite, my 17 year old cousin is still living with me and I am going tomorrow to file papers with the court to try to get custody switched over to me, or me and her sister. Her father called her after her sister called him to let him know my mom had died and he told her my mom got what she deserved. I think he called her back a few days later, but we haven't heard from him since and that was 6 weeks ago. He has only called her maybe 6 times since December and hasn't seen her at all. She went to his house at Christmas and he and his wife weren't nice to her. She has been acting out and giving me and her sister a hard time, but we are working on that.

I am having a hard time adjusting on top of everything else that is going on. I am having a huge isse with loneliness. I have attached myself to DH and am holding on tight, but since I work at night, I don't get to see him much, except on the weekend. He has been great for the most part.

Suzanne

[Mickey'sApprentice]

Hi Mickey's Apprentince, I don't really have any advice for you, but I wanted to say hi neighbor. We are only about 1 hour west of you in Phenix City, AL.

Dh and I have decided we are content without children. I have had to pick up responsibility of a 17 year old since my mom passed away in August and boy is that an awakening.

Hematite, my 17 year old cousin is still living with me and I am going tomorrow to file papers with the court to try to get custody switched over to me, or me and her sister. Her father called her after her sister called him to let him know my mom had died and he told her my mom got what she deserved. I think he called her back a few days later, but we haven't heard from him since and that was 6 weeks ago. He has only called her maybe 6 times since December and hasn't seen her at all. She went to his house at Christmas and he and his wife weren't nice to her. She has been acting out and giving me and her sister a hard time, but we are working on that.

I am having a hard time adjusting on top of everything else that is going on. I am having a huge isse with loneliness. I have attached myself to DH and am holding on tight, but since I work at night, I don't get to see him much, except on the weekend. He has been great for the most part.

Suzanne


Hi Princess Suzanne!

Its good to hear from Phenix City. I used to go through there occassionally on business in Columbus.

I hope everything works out with your cousin.

How do you usually go to Disney from PC?

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hi Princess Suzanne!

Its good to hear from Phenix City. I used to go through there occassionally on business in Columbus.

I hope everything works out with your cousin.

How do you usually go to Disney from PC?

We go thru Columbus, Ft Benning, to Albany, to Tifton and get on I-75 there. On our first 2 trips, we went thru Dothan and got on I10 to I75 and that added several hours. On our 2nd trip, we decided to take the other route home and it was much shorter, so we go that way now. I don't like riding in the car for long distances, but can manage this route much better.

I actually work in Columbus.

Suzanne

[natsiswdw]

We go thru Columbus, Ft Benning, to Albany, to Tifton and get on I-75 there. On our first 2 trips, we went thru Dothan and got on I10 to I75 and that added several hours. On our 2nd trip, we decided to take the other route home and it was much shorter, so we go that way now. I don't like riding in the car for long distances, but can manage this route much better.

I actually work in Columbus.

Suzanne

My mom lives in Columbus and they were thinking of going to Disney because she see's the love that my DH and I have for it!!! I was wondering about how long of a drive is it for you??

[natsiswdw]

I am also happy to have found this thread!! We are going to Disney in Dec. for hopefully our last time with out kids!! My doctor proscribed me Clomid (I don't know how to spell it) so hopefully I just have a hormonal problem and that will be it. I knew I would have a hard time because all of last year (2007) I didn't have a period. It would just be spotting every once and while. The doctor put me on birth control to hopefully regulate me for 3 months. I had my period while on birth control but as soon as I went off of it I went 65 days without my it. Like I said I am hoping that it will be an easy fix. Has anyone tried Clomid?

[Mickey'sApprentice]

I am also happy to have found this thread!! We are going to Disney in Dec. for hopefully our last time with out kids!! My doctor proscribed me Clomid (I don't know how to spell it) so hopefully I just have a hormonal problem and that will be it. I knew I would have a hard time because all of last year (2007) I didn't have a period. It would just be spotting every once and while. The doctor put me on birth control to hopefully regulate me for 3 months. I had my period while on birth control but as soon as I went off of it I went 65 days without my it. Like I said I am hoping that it will be an easy fix. Has anyone tried Clomid?

I'm hoping that my doctor will put me on Clomid when I go back in November. That was the original plan until we got hubbies sperm analysis back. I think the Dr. won't put me on Clomid until we get hubby squared away.

I've also had irregular periods. Glucophage has been very helpful. I've gone from 1 to 2 periods per year to 8-10 per year. I still miss some months but not very often, and never go more than 2.

[PrincessSuzanne]

My mom lives in Columbus and they were thinking of going to Disney because she see's the love that my DH and I have for it!!! I was wondering about how long of a drive is it for you??

About 6 to 6.5 hours, depending on how many times we stop, which usually isn't many. The construction in Valdosta slows things down a bit, but once it is completed, it probably won't take as long.

Suzanne

[Nennie]

Hello All!!

So glad to see this thread nice and active again. I think of you all often!! I'm still doing well, and would be happy to talk about it more via PM if anyone is interested. In the meantime, lets talk about all of you!! :goodvibes

Suzanne -- I am so very sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. I hope that things work out with guardianship of your cousin. You are such a kind and generous person to take on this responsiblity!!!

Natsiswdw -- Hello and Welcome!! Best of luck with the Clomid! I will warn you that it will make you moody, but of course will all be worth it if it does the trick for you!! Will you be combining the Clomid with an IUI??? I would definitely recommend it if the doctor is on board!

Apprentice -- GL with DH's treatment, and I hope that he will go through with whatever needs to be done. As Hematite said, there are many options, and I think that through counseling maybe you could both agree as to which options you are both willing to try? Best of luck to you!!

Want2bamommy -- Congrats on the surgery!!!!!!!!!!! Fingers crossed that you get great results!!!! So glad you have something so positive in your life, that will make the TTC break worth it!!!! Please keep us posted on your progress!!!

Hematite -- I hope are you doing well!! What is the latest with you???

[want2bamommy]

Hi, everyone! I see there haven't been any posts for a few months now. Mark just deployed again and Disney is offfering a deal that we CANNOT pass up so it looks like we will be going when Mark gets his 2 weeks vacation. We aren't sure when it will be so we'll be booking last minute. I would LOVE to stay at the Animal Kingdom Lodge (especially the Savannah view) but I doubt it will be available at the last minute. We thought he'd be getting his 2 weeks around mid October but now it might be at the end of August. So we'll see....I was excited about October for the Not So Scary Halloween party but August would be great because we'll bring our niece who will have just turned 8 years old.

You may remember that I had Gastric Bypass in August. It is going so well for me....I am down 96 pounds and guess what? I just had my first 28 day cycle in YEARS! I am temping my BBT again for the whole year that Mark is gone so that I can see how the loss is affecting my body (for the better, hopefully).

I hope everyone is well!!!

Missie

[Debbs]

Hi Suzanne,
So sorry to hear about your mom.. great big hugss! Its debbie from before, I had to make a new ID because I cant remember my old password and we changed our internet provider so I cant even get them to email it to me lol.

I hope things are going well with you otherwise!

Nice to see a familiar name on here!

Take Care,
Debbie

[hematite153]

Hey there Missy!

That's fabulous weight-loss progress! I assume, from what you said earlier, that you aren't really supposed to try getting pregnant during the next year, so, the timing of the deployment isn't a problem (on the TTC front). Is this correct? I'm asking because if it is problematic, you could consider having your DH donate so that you can freeze samples to use for a couple of IUIs.

I've now had 3 IVF failures despite being told that I had good quality embryos. We transferred embryos from my eggs to my DW during the 3rd one and she got pregnant, but, miscarried.

We're moving to foster care as our primary focus while still hoping to try a couple of last TTC hopes at a slower, less intense pace. We're also still considering private adoption, but, given the costs of that it will take us awhile to make the decision.

[disneybridetobe]

I am also happy to have found this thread!! We are going to Disney in Dec. for hopefully our last time with out kids!! My doctor proscribed me Clomid (I don't know how to spell it) so hopefully I just have a hormonal problem and that will be it. I knew I would have a hard time because all of last year (2007) I didn't have a period. It would just be spotting every once and while. The doctor put me on birth control to hopefully regulate me for 3 months. I had my period while on birth control but as soon as I went off of it I went 65 days without my it. Like I said I am hoping that it will be an easy fix. Has anyone tried Clomid?

Hi! I'm new to this thread... have one DD, born at 35 weeks, horrid pregnancy. Then diagnosed with PCOS after many 50-100 day cycles and 1 year of TTC. Took Clomid in november, then had m/c on Christmas. I just finished my 2nd round of Clomid today. I didn't get any side effects, but many women do. But, it's got a pretty decent success rate. I'm hoping for the best. Worth a shot to ask your Dr about it, worst he can say is no and tell you why. Have you looked into PCOS?

[disneybridetobe]

You may remember that I had Gastric Bypass in August. It is going so well for me....I am down 96 pounds and guess what? I just had my first 28 day cycle in YEARS! I am temping my BBT again for the whole year that Mark is gone so that I can see how the loss is affecting my body (for the better, hopefully).

I hope everyone is well!!!

Missie

I don't really know you, but that is SUPER that you had a 28 day cycle!! Woooohooo!! What I'd give for one of those! :cheer2:

Congrats on your weight loss, too!!

[Nennie]

Hi Ladies!!! Anyone have any fun plans for the game tonight? We'll just be watching at home (paying more attention to the commercials than to the game of course) and checking our boxes in our office pools! LOL!!!

Missie -- CONGRATS on the weightloss!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!! I am so very proud of you, and so happy to hear of your success. Great news about your cycles regulating as well!! I saw the great deals they are giving military families, so I'm glad you'll be able to take advantage of it!!!

Debbie -- LOL about forgetting your password! I've done that too on other sites.

Hematite -- Best of luck with fostering!!! Have you started the classes yet? I hear ya on the cost of adoption...which of course makes we want to strangle the people who say things like "Why don't you just adopt?" like it's so easy and cheap. Best wishes on your less intense TTCing regimen!!!


So who has some fun Disney trips coming up????? We are doing a long weekend in May, and then going for a week in Sept (staying in a Grand Villa, which I've never done before. Woo Hoo!).

[Debbs]

Nennie - I tried every possible password I had ever used and nothing would work. I have no clue what I had used lol. oh well..

I'm planning a trip with just dont know when yet. I'm thinking either, March 5-12, april 2-9 or may 14 -19. It'll just be me and the kids.. dh doesnt want to go, we spent 2 weeks there for christmas 2007 and that was too much for him lol Any advice on which week would be best. I was thinking of taking them the 2nd last week of August but was told that was a bad time to go.

Have a great day everone!

[hematite153]

We are just in the early stages for fostering. We've been to the info session and have the beginning paperwork. I suspect we'll get this first paperwork done and submitted within 2 weeks and then we've been told that we'll have a case worker within 2 weeks of that and be signed up for classes.

We decided to sneak in a trip to wdw in March. We've been having a tough time and needed something that we could be looking forward to. We're DVC members and we decided to rent most of this year's points to pay for a trip (transport & tickets) and use a small number of them for a Sun-Thurs stay for us.

[Josh125]

Hello,

Well, I think I might be the only guy in this thread :thumbsup2 but thought I might share me and my DW's story. It's a bittersweet one. In fact the definition of bittersweet.

About a month before we were to be married, 3 years ago this coming May, DW began having massive headaches and loss of funtion in her legs. We go to the docs and find out she had an orange sized tumor in her brain. At the time she was 26, a bit much for us both to take. She had surgery to resect the tumor then underwent 20 sessions of radiation. Since the tumor had spread to the sacks in the brain that hold a common fluid that is shared with the spine, her entire head and body had to go under radiation.

The radiation left her in POV, which 3 docs here in Houston have confirmed. So she is alive and 2 1/2 years cancer free but we are unable to have children. We essentially have two options, egg donation and adoption and each have their problems. Donation is very costly and only has a ~66% percent chance of working and adoption is going to be an issue with her cancer so recent. We have just decided to wait a few years and think about it again. I honestly don't feel like my life is incomplete, however she does want children. So, here were are :) and now you know our story!

[hematite153]

Josh -- Welcome and thanks for sharing your story. (There have actually been a few guys here over the years, but, I think you might be right that the others have moved on.)

I'm really glad to hear that your DW survived treatment and continues to be cancer-free. If you're thinking about adoption there are probably a couple of international options that would be less concerned about the recency of her cancer treatment. (I.e. countries that allow single men to adopt.) There's also a lot more flexibility than most people realize in terms of state fostering and adoptions...you may find that inquiries in that direction could lead to parenthood.

Stick around and join in our conversations. If you look through the full thread you'll see that we tend to talk in waves, but, it's a difficult topic to engage in daily.

[want2bamommy]

Hey there Missy!

That's fabulous weight-loss progress! I assume, from what you said earlier, that you aren't really supposed to try getting pregnant during the next year, so, the timing of the deployment isn't a problem (on the TTC front). Is this correct? I'm asking because if it is problematic, you could consider having your DH donate so that you can freeze samples to use for a couple of IUIs.

I've now had 3 IVF failures despite being told that I had good quality embryos. We transferred embryos from my eggs to my DW during the 3rd one and she got pregnant, but, miscarried.

We're moving to foster care as our primary focus while still hoping to try a couple of last TTC hopes at a slower, less intense pace. We're also still considering private adoption, but, given the costs of that it will take us awhile to make the decision.

Thanks! You are right that we need to wait to TTC for the next year so the timing was a BLESSING for Mark's deployment. Though we have frozen his sperm about 3 years ago in the event that something happened to him while he's deployed.

I am so sorry to hear about the m.c! (((((HUGS))))) to you both! A good friend of mine did 3 rounds of IVF with ICSI and the 3rd chance she became pregnant but it was an ectopic pregnancy. It was so hard to hear that....they were on a rollercoaster of emotions as I'm sure you were. First getting that BFP and then the sad news of the MC. My friends issue is Male Factor Infertility so they just did a round of IUI with Donor sperm and she is pregnant. I am so happy for them but I pray everyday that this bean sticks.

How wonderful that you are becoming foster parents!! It is something that Mark and I have discussed and would like to seriously think about pursuing in the future.

I understand about the Private Adoption too. My hubby is adopted (from Columbia) and we will just never afford to do that. I had a friend that I've now lost contact with and she adopted her son from Guatamala about 2 years ago. It was very costly too.....but if you can afford it that is great.

Take care!!
Missie

[want2bamommy]

Hi! I'm new to this thread... have one DD, born at 35 weeks, horrid pregnancy. Then diagnosed with PCOS after many 50-100 day cycles and 1 year of TTC. Took Clomid in november, then had m/c on Christmas. I just finished my 2nd round of Clomid today. I didn't get any side effects, but many women do. But, it's got a pretty decent success rate. I'm hoping for the best. Worth a shot to ask your Dr about it, worst he can say is no and tell you why. Have you looked into PCOS?

Hi, Disneybridetobe! Welcome to the board! I'm so sorry that you had a m/c on Christmas. (((((HUGS))))) to you! I too have PCOS and have had my share of those darn long cycles (106 days was my longest) and not knowing if I really ovulated or not.

Good luck this cycle!

Missie

[want2bamommy]

I don't really know you, but that is SUPER that you had a 28 day cycle!! Woooohooo!! What I'd give for one of those! :cheer2:

Congrats on your weight loss, too!!

Thanks so much! I'm definitely celebrating it!! I started charting again and my temps are higher than they've ever been....hoping this means good news when we can TTC again in January 2010!!
Missie

[want2bamommy]

Hi Ladies!!! Anyone have any fun plans for the game tonight? We'll just be watching at home (paying more attention to the commercials than to the game of course) and checking our boxes in our office pools! LOL!!!

Missie -- CONGRATS on the weightloss!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!!!!!!! I am so very proud of you, and so happy to hear of your success. Great news about your cycles regulating as well!! I saw the great deals they are giving military families, so I'm glad you'll be able to take advantage of it!!!

Debbie -- LOL about forgetting your password! I've done that too on other sites.

Hematite -- Best of luck with fostering!!! Have you started the classes yet? I hear ya on the cost of adoption...which of course makes we want to strangle the people who say things like "Why don't you just adopt?" like it's so easy and cheap. Best wishes on your less intense TTCing regimen!!!


So who has some fun Disney trips coming up????? We are doing a long weekend in May, and then going for a week in Sept (staying in a Grand Villa, which I've never done before. Woo Hoo!).

Hi, Nennie! Did you have any luck with the boxes? I had two boxes but no wins, lol. My Sister's FIL won $2,500 for the final score though!! Awesome!

Thanks for the WLS support! It feels amazing to me every single day. We are definitely taking advantage of Disney's GREAT offer!! Turns out that the latest news is Mark's leave will be in July. We are a bit disappointed but we will definitely take our niece with us since school will be out. It will be pretty neat to go with her!

Yay for 2 upcoming Disney trips for you!! I'm so jealous, lol.

Missie

[want2bamommy]

Hello,

Well, I think I might be the only guy in this thread :thumbsup2 but thought I might share me and my DW's story. It's a bittersweet one. In fact the definition of bittersweet.

About a month before we were to be married, 3 years ago this coming May, DW began having massive headaches and loss of funtion in her legs. We go to the docs and find out she had an orange sized tumor in her brain. At the time she was 26, a bit much for us both to take. She had surgery to resect the tumor then underwent 20 sessions of radiation. Since the tumor had spread to the sacks in the brain that hold a common fluid that is shared with the spine, her entire head and body had to go under radiation.

The radiation left her in POV, which 3 docs here in Houston have confirmed. So she is alive and 2 1/2 years cancer free but we are unable to have children. We essentially have two options, egg donation and adoption and each have their problems. Donation is very costly and only has a ~66% percent chance of working and adoption is going to be an issue with her cancer so recent. We have just decided to wait a few years and think about it again. I honestly don't feel like my life is incomplete, however she does want children. So, here were are :) and now you know our story!

Hi, Josh! Welcome to the thread. I am happy to hear that your wife is Cancer free and has been for 2 1/2 years. I understand that both donation and adoption have their own problems. I think that taking a couple of years to decide how you want to procede is a great idea.

I didn't think I'd every say this but lately I feel that if I don't get pregnant I might be ok. Dh on the other hand is adament that we must have at least one child. We've been married for over 12 years now and I just feel that we love each other so much and yes I suppose a part of me feels incomplete since I'm not a Mom but I might have to accept that it won't happen.

I wish you and your DW happiness and peace!

Missie

[PrincessSuzanne]

Hey guys, So good to hear from ya'll.

Debbie, believe it or not, I was just thinking about you recently, how funny. I was wondering where you had been. I have missed all your infinite wisdom. Losing mom was the hardest, lowest point in my life, but I have picked myself up and am trying really hard to be there for the rest of my family, I had to choose them, even thought I wanted to be with her (I would never take my own life, but did think I had reached a low enough that I was going to die anyway, naturally)

Missie, so good to hear from you, so glad the weight loss is going great. Wish I had the nerve and the money to do something, I really need to lose some weight just because I need to. I don't know about you, but Dh and I didn't enjoy the AKL much. We were there for 9 day in Dec 08 and we won't stay there again. I gave it a second chance from last Dec, but it just wasn't for us. I was able to get a great pool view last minute, so you might be able to get that Savanna View :confused3

Hematitie, Sorry about the loses,I know that is hard. Dh and I had considered foster again or a while, but ya know we are really enjoying being a childles couple and we sure are having some fun :thumbsup2 I don't know if I will consider TTC, adoption, or fostering again or not. I do have custody of my now 18 year old cousin and she is a challenge. She is a senior this year and boy is it expensive. I will be glad when she graduates in May.

Nennie, How are you? I am not a football person. DH changed over to look at the score, and I gave the evil eye until he changed it to something else. Of coures, Dh and I already have 2 trips booked for this year and was discussing a third over the weekend. We are taking advantage of the 4/3 deal for my birthday in June, the 6-13th at POFQ and We booked a Bounceback free dining in Sept , right now 20-26, but will have to change that to the 23-26 when some other openings come avail. We also want to go back for our Annual Anniversary/Christmas trip in Dec.

Disneybride, sorry for your loss. I haven't even been able to conceive much less experience a loss. More than likely I have PCOS, but can't deal with the effects of the Glucophage. I have done medicaited cycles with Clomid and IUI cycles with Clomid and an injectible and never even ovulated, even with the trigger shot. Dh and I have given up amd moved on. I think probably the best thing I have ever done. My mom, my best friend passed away in Aug and I went through a low point because I wasn't able to give her a grandchild. My Dh stood strong by me and pulled me through this low point and we are like a newly married couple. I do have custody of my cousin who my mom had custody of and it is like having a child of my own and not as fun and I had imagined. I practically raised this girl from the time she was born until her mom passed away when she was 5 and then her father took her away from me and she has only been back in my life for a few years and mom took her away from her father last year and now I have her. She is a good girl, just a teenager.

Josh, glad to have you here. Sorry about your wife, but glad she has a great outlook for life. I know a women that went through breast cancer in her 40's and still had a baby afterwards and she is a beautiful 15 year old, if I remember correctly. So don't give up hope just yet. Sounds like you are still young, so keep fighting the good fight. I am almost 36 so I am nearing the end of the journey to parenthood and I believe I am just too selfish to have a child now.

My cousin's 10 year old told me she wouldn't let me have a baby, she is my baby and she meant it, too :lmao: She isn't kidding and reminds me as often as possible that she isn't kidding. I took her and her mom, brother , sister, and aunt to WDW in Dec 2008 and we had a great time, sure missed mom, she was really looking forward to taking the 2 little ones for their first trip. I really thought about her alot and did alot of crying. the 10 year old and I did a balloon release on our last night and both cried in front of the Christmas tree on Main Street, in honor of mom. I plan on doing something special on each trip to remember her special place.

Well, I better get to work.

Suzanne

[Debbs]

Suzanne, I'm so sorry I wasnt here for you when your mom passed away. The biggest of hugs that I can possibly give you this way. I know exactly how you feel as I lost my mom years ago at a very young age. She was 53, I was 29. The days are hard.. but you have your memories and they will never leave you. Even after all these years I still cry almost on a daily basis. My mom and I were very close like you and yours. Just remember that she is ALWAYS with you and watching down on you all the time. Don't be afraid to still have talks with her. I still do it. I know she is listening and no matter what any one tells you.. Its your time with her.
Hugsss my friend!

[Debbs]

For the new people that have joined.. my earlier posts, near the beginning of the file, give everyone hope that have tried to get pregnant and havent been blessed as of yet. My DH and I also went thru the fertility pills, double clomid, double hormone for years, nothing happened. Went to do IVF and were told by 3 specialists we're sorry you'll never have children. Well you cant always believe a dr. You believe in your faith and pray that it will someday happen to you. The happy ending of this story is.. after being devastated by the news we'd never have children we gave up and destined our lives to living on our own. Well, after years of non working fertility, we got pregnant, to this day they dont know how.. along came our beautiful little girl. (who is 16 now) and low and behold.. 7 yrs after her.. came her brother.. another baffling time for the drs.. quote( we have no idea how you got pregnant) he is now 9.. so my words for you are.. never give up hope! you never know what some greater power has instore for you!

good luck to all of you trying and my thoughts n prayers go out to each and every one of you!

[Golden Rose]

Nice to see another round of posts here. It is really great to be able to check in and see how people are doing.

We're giving up entirely on all fertility treatments and on having any more children genetically related to us. It has been an emotional journey, but I'm sort of at peace with our decision.

On the bright side, I have seven friends who have struggled with infertility issues... one has recently had twins, two are expecting twins, and one is expecting triplets, so I promise you, ladies, there is definitely hope if one can afford the sometimes exorbitant costs of medical assistance. (Not one of them is a happy "got pregnant accidentally" story; one used IVF, one used IUI, one used IVF with donor eggs and sperm, and one used a surrogate to carry her embryos. Oh, I say that, but I did have another friend struggle with secondary infertility for seven years, then suddenly get pregnant.) It is very, very strange to have so many friends suffering with infertility at once. I guess it is partially a factor of our age - we're all between 35 and 45- but it certainly is strange that I know so many families struggling. These are not people I met because of my infertility issues, these are women I have been friends with for years and years. I am truly, deeply happy for my friends that have been successful in their attempts to have children. I can't help being just a touch envious when I see so many of my friends either pregnant or "enjoying" new babies, even though I know how hard they worked for those pregnancies.

We've decided that we are going to try to adopt domestically. We've found two agencies that we think would be good fits for us, and we're scheduled to attend the orientations for both of them to see which one strikes a stronger cord with us. (Both have good reputations here in Texas, and both are known to take good care of the birthmoms and provide them with extensive counseling, which is important to us.) It's expensive, but it is no more expensive than two rounds of IVF, which we were prepared to do had the numbers been different.

Good luck to all of you!

[Golden Rose]

Hello,

Well, I think I might be the only guy in this thread :thumbsup2 but thought I might share me and my DW's story. It's a bittersweet one. In fact the definition of bittersweet.

About a month before we were to be married, 3 years ago this coming May, DW began having massive headaches and loss of funtion in her legs. We go to the docs and find out she had an orange sized tumor in her brain. At the time she was 26, a bit much for us both to take. She had surgery to resect the tumor then underwent 20 sessions of radiation. Since the tumor had spread to the sacks in the brain that hold a common fluid that is shared with the spine, her entire head and body had to go under radiation.

The radiation left her in POV, which 3 docs here in Houston have confirmed. So she is alive and 2 1/2 years cancer free but we are unable to have children. We essentially have two options, egg donation and adoption and each have their problems. Donation is very costly and only has a ~66% percent chance of working and adoption is going to be an issue with her cancer so recent. We have just decided to wait a few years and think about it again. I honestly don't feel like my life is incomplete, however she does want children. So, here were are :) and now you know our story!


Hi, neighbor! (I noticed you're in Katy, and we're in Houston.) Glad to hear that your wife is doing well after the cancer, but sorry that she won't be able to have children. We have a close male friend who also had chemo and radiation for cancer and was told he wouldn't have children, but just two years later sired a handsome, healthy little boy who is now 4.

You're right about egg donation being costly... we looked into it a little, too, and we came to the conclusion that we would rather adopt. (I do have one biological child, and I had an extremely difficult pregnancy.) I do have a friend who elected to go the egg donation route who is now expecting twins, so I know it can work out well.

We're starting down the adoption path right now. You're probably right that some agencies will be hesitant to work with you because she is a cancer survivor. But talk to lots of different agencies if that is the route you choose. We got told but some that we weren't good candidates because my husband is over 40 and we have a biological child, but we kept talking to different agencies and we have found two that I think could be good fits for us. As you've said, after a few more years cancer free, you will look like more appealing candidates.

Best of luck to you.

[PrincessSuzanne]

Suzanne, I'm so sorry I wasnt here for you when your mom passed away. The biggest of hugs that I can possibly give you this way. I know exactly how you feel as I lost my mom years ago at a very young age. She was 53, I was 29. The days are hard.. but you have your memories and they will never leave you. Even after all these years I still cry almost on a daily basis. My mom and I were very close like you and yours. Just remember that she is ALWAYS with you and watching down on you all the time. Don't be afraid to still have talks with her. I still do it. I know she is listening and no matter what any one tells you.. Its your time with her.
Hugsss my friend!


Thanks Debbie. I really appreciate the hugs. I really need them sometimes, I miss my mom's hugs, although we didn't hug that much, even though we spend so much time together and were so close. I have been better about the crying, I don't cry as much now as I did, unless I have a really bad day or have one of my what I call flash backs to that horrible day she collapsed.

Tomorrow would have been her 61st birthday and I am not looking forward to that. Her headstone is supposed to be down for me, but I haven't heard and the cemetary won't let you leave flowers without a vase. They will take them and throw them out. I guess I will have to take mt chances, because I am not going to let her go without some kind of present and to me a headstone isn't a great present.

I talk to my mom alot, especially since I am home by myself all morning before I leave for work in the afternoon. I probably don't do it as often as I should. I used to talk to my grandfather alot as a child. I catch myself calling her in the evenings from work and wondering why she hasn't called me. I miss that, she called several times each evening and she always started with "Are you busy?"


Nice to see another round of posts here. It is really great to be able to check in and see how people are doing.

We're giving up entirely on all fertility treatments and on having any more children genetically related to us. It has been an emotional journey, but I'm sort of at peace with our decision.

On the bright side, I have seven friends who have struggled with infertility issues... one has recently had twins, two are expecting twins, and one is expecting triplets, so I promise you, ladies, there is definitely hope if one can afford the sometimes exorbitant costs of medical assistance. (Not one of them is a happy "got pregnant accidentally" story; one used IVF, one used IUI, one used IVF with donor eggs and sperm, and one used a surrogate to carry her embryos. Oh, I say that, but I did have another friend struggle with secondary infertility for seven years, then suddenly get pregnant.) It is very, very strange to have so many friends suffering with infertility at once. I guess it is partially a factor of our age - we're all between 35 and 45- but it certainly is strange that I know so many families struggling. These are not people I met because of my infertility issues, these are women I have been friends with for years and years. I am truly, deeply happy for my friends that have been successful in their attempts to have children. I can't help being just a touch envious when I see so many of my friends either pregnant or "enjoying" new babies, even though I know how hard they worked for those pregnancies.

We've decided that we are going to try to adopt domestically. We've found two agencies that we think would be good fits for us, and we're scheduled to attend the orientations for both of them to see which one strikes a stronger cord with us. (Both have good reputations here in Texas, and both are known to take good care of the birthmoms and provide them with extensive counseling, which is important to us.) It's expensive, but it is no more expensive than two rounds of IVF, which we were prepared to do had the numbers been different.

Good luck to all of you!


That is wonderful for all of your friends to be having babies, especially after what they have been through. I would never hold a grudge against someone who had been through what I have. My hard feelings are towards these teenage girls that just sleep around and have multiple babies with multiple fathers and can't or won't take care of them.

My BFF had a baby almost 3 years ago and she didn't want to tell me she was pregnant at first because she had seen what I went through and still never got pregnant and she was so cautious about telling me, but she included me throughout her pregnancy and I threw her a huge shower and bought her eveything under the sun. she even called me a few hours after she was born so I could go hold her and have private time with her and the baby. She is a beautiful little girl. I hate to say we lost touch last summer though, I really miss them.

That is so nice that you can adopt, that was not an option for us and I don't know if it ever will be. I have custody of my 18 year old cousin and she is changing my feelings about having a baby all the time. Most days I am glad I don't have any. She is a good irl, but she wears you out.


I have to throw this out here, since we have all shared so much in the past. DH told me the other day, he was ready for a baby :eek: , I looked at him like he was crazy :scared: WTH, he knows what we went through in 2004/2005, I guess he just needed a reminder. I am NOT going down that road again to come out empty handed AGAIN, my body doesn't work, what part of that doesn't he understand :confused3 Where was he????? :scared1: Oh, yeah, he was in California with the Army for several of those months, the worst of those months, I should say :sad2: I love him anyway :love:

Suzanne

[want2bamommy]

Hi, Suzanne and fellow DISers! Just wondering how everyone is doing? I am doing pretty good. I have been sick the last 5 days with Bronchitis but it is on its way out and I am feeling pretty good today.

Just wanted to check in on my friends! I'm so excited to be planning a trip to the WORLD in July for Mark's 2 week R&R. I'm not sure if I have mentioned the new trip in a recent post. While I did make a reservation for 7 nights at the Beach Club we really won't know when he'll be home until 203 days before he gets here. So I'm hoping that the dates I chose will stick!

We are taking our niece, Kayla, who will be 8 at that time. I was deciding between the AKL (Savannah view) and the BC and since we are talking about July Stormalong Bay had to win out, lol.

I'm really excited but at the same time I HATE not being able to plan with any certainty!!

We are going to do the Quick Service Dining plan because the regular plan would REALLY be a waste for me after the Gastric Bypass!

We will pay for a few TS out of pocket though....
* LeCellier dinner
* Akershus dinner (I LOVE the Traditional Kjottkaker and Kayla will love the Princesses)
* Hoop Dee Doo Revue (I've done this on the last 2 trips and love it)
* Cape May Breakfast (since we'll be at the BC)

If we have to switch dates/resorts I'd like to change that to the Tusker House Character Breakfast.

I hope that everyone is doing well!! Talk to you soon!

Melissa