Bus manners

[d-girl]

We just retrned from our trip to WDW. We stayed at ASMo our last 5 nights and one of my biggest disappointments was riding the bus home from MVMCP! We got on the bus after the 10:45 parade and there were 2 men who took up seats with their strollers. One man had a stroller on one seat and the other had his stroller on 2 seats. Needless to say they did not move them and my 6 year old daughter had to stand up the whole way back to our resort. She ended up falling asleep standing up with me trying to hold her. I was furious!! Also there were men sitting down to busy kissing their girlfriends to get up and be a GENTLEMAN and offer us their seats.. I was so upset>I went to the front of the bus and waited for the man to get off who had the stroller taking 2 seats to tell them how upset I was!!! He said well you should have said something!! Bull!!! YOu saw us get on the bus and looked the other way. THis is not the way I want my daughters to be treated when they get older. Something is wrong with this country. It is all for yourself and not for others and I thought that Sept. 11 would have made people more considerate but I guess I was wrong!!!Just had to vent a little!! On a good note at the MCO 2 men stood on the train so my girls could sit and I told how happy it made me and what had happened and they couldn't believe how people could be so ignorant!!

[Kallison]

I'm not sure I understand, did you tell the bus driver you were upset? I definitely would have said something myself, politely of course. Sir could you please move your stroller so we could use those seats? That is quite ridiculous. I also believe that people can't take advantage of you unless you let them.

[ducklite]

We had a similar situation, a bunch of teenagers were taking seats on a bus from MGM to the TTC, I got a seat with my niece on my lap, and my sister had the baby in her arms and was looking for a seat. A man with two toddlers managed to wrangle both onto his lap and offer her the seat next to him. The teens never moved. On the way out I told them that they should be ashamed of themselves, and that what comes around goes around.

It's amazing how common courtesy seesm to ahve gone down the drain...

Anne

[Buzz2001]

I agree d-girl. I think it is terrible that a man would not offer his seat to a lady or a child who is falling a sleep while standing (never mind that it was his stroller keeping you from sitting). I too would have said something but no doubt one of the 2 men should have offered his seat to you.

Not to preach but it is obvious that some parents are just not teaching basic manners to their children. People are quick to jump on why television or schools are not doing the right thing but I still believe it all starts in the home.

I apologize for those 2 individuals.

[stevets]

Hogging up an empty seat with a stroller? That's outrageous. And both men and women should get up to offer a seat to the handicapped, elderly, and mothers holding children. But why, in this day and age, should a man get up to give a seat to a woman? Furthermore, do women still expect that? I'd be insulted if a man offered me a seat because that means he assumed I was less physically fit than him simply by virtue of his gender.

[ducklite]

Originally posted by stevets
Hogging up an empty seat with a stroller? That's outrageous. And both men and women should get up to offer a seat to the handicapped, elderly, and mothers holding children. But why, in this day and age, should a man get up to give a seat to a woman? Furthermore, do women still expect that? I'd be insulted if a man offered me a seat because that means he assumed I was less physically fit than him simply by virtue of his gender.

ANY able bodied adult or teenager regardless of gender should always offer a seat to any adult of any gender carrying a child, or any senior citizen of any gender. 'Nuff said.

Anne

[Trekker]

At times when we leave the parks late and are really tired, we all want to sit. If we are at the point of getting on the bus and it is standing only, we wait for the next bus. Everyone can choose to do this if they want to sit.

I'm sorry, but if I waited for the next bus, I'm not going to then get up and give the seat to someone else, who choose to get on the bus with standing room only available. I may get flamed for this, but after a full day in the parks my family is just as much in need of a seat as anyone.

This of course does not excuse taking up seats with strollers.

[melindaandrob]

@WDWTrekker You wouldn't let a child sit in your seat? I'm thinking you will get flamed for that.
I think this is an interesting subject, where are the manners and random acts of kindness? Whether the person is male, female, child, elderly. How do you know that the person who just got on and looks healthy and able isn't having chemotherapy and would really appreciate the seat? How do you know if the man who just got on isn't diabetic and feeling a little weak?
Pay it forward.

[Jen D]

Hmmm. I agree the people with the strollers should have moved their strollers, and I probably would have just said, "could you move your stroller please so my daughter can sit down?" When I moved to New York a few years ago, I learned to be direct with people. I ride buses and subways every day with my four year old, and they are often standing room. I don't particularly expect anyone to offer her a seat, although sometimes they do. I certainly don't need one for myself. Anyway, I guess using public transportation regularly has taught me to expect nothing, but to ask when I need something. I agree it is a good thing to offer your seat to a younger child, I worry more about them standing on the jerky bus or train. And certainly someone carrying a sleeping child should get a seat.

When I was nine-months pregnant riding the subways, it was usually women who offered me seats, and more often than not it was elderly women who should have rightfully had seats in the first place. I think a lot of people aren't consciously being rude, they just aren't paying attention to their surroundings.

[ducklite]

Originally posted by WDWTrekker
At times when we leave the parks late and are really tired, we all want to sit. If we are at the point of getting on the bus and it is standing only, we wait for the next bus. Everyone can choose to do this if they want to sit.

I'm sorry, but if I waited for the next bus, I'm not going to then get up and give the seat to someone else, who choose to get on the bus with standing room only available. I may get flamed for this, but after a full day in the parks my family is just as much in need of a seat as anyone.

This of course does not excuse taking up seats with strollers.

I look at it this way. Adults sit for comfort, young children (say under 6 or 7) and parents balancing a kid on their hip sit for safety. Safety overrides comfort always.

Anne

[Trekker]

How do you know that the person who just got on and looks healthy and able isn't having chemotherapy and would really appreciate the seat? How do you know if the man who just got on isn't diabetic and feeling a little weak?

Exactly - how do you know - who do you give up a seat for?

How do you know the healthy looking man sitting isn't .......?

If you have to sit, you need to be responsible to make sure the bus you get on has sitting room.

Please do not get me wrong, I have given up my seat many times, as has my teenage son, I just think that when people expect it, they should make sure there is sitting room when they get on the bus. There are times I will not give up my seat, and I feel no guilt for this.

[robinb]

d-girl said:
He said well you should have said something!!

He's right. You should have said something. While there was no denying that he was rude by taking up seats with his stroller, I think you were also rude to yell at him after the fact. Heck! He can't read your mind! It's late and everyone is tired and grumpy and in their own little world.

I wouldn't have hesitated to ask him to move his stroller so I could sit down, with or without a sleepy child.

[snowwhitemom]

Yes bus manners are very important, I am extremly proud to say that my DH is the highlight of many bus trips , he never even sits down unless the bus is getting ready to leave and there is an extra seat. Ihope everyone who reads this thread will remember RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS even on WDW transportation. I always give my seat up to any one older than me or for any child it doed not have to be only a woman.

[Buzz2001]

well said snowwhitemom

It doesn't matter how tired I am, how long I've been at the park, how long I've waited for a bus or what gender the person is, its about doing the right thing and being polite. Those things aren't being taught anymore.

[baileybrad]

Giving a seat to someone who obviously needs it more than me is just how I was raised. That includes most folks except for able bodied men. I was raised to open doors for women, give up seats to others, hold doors for those that come behind me, say yes mam and no sir, etc. That is the way I go about my life. Sometimes on Disney buses it is hard to find a good place to put a stroller, especially the double that we use, but obviously the seat of a full bus is not a good choice. Some people are rude even at Disney, but some just don't think about the effects of their actions.

[GEM]

I'm an able bodied 30 year old woman and I certainly would not expect any man to give up his seat to me on a bus. If I had a sleeping child in my arms, sure. If I was a senior citizen, sure. If I was pregnant, sure. But I don't think I should expect a man to get up and give me his seat just because I'm a woman. I'm certainly able to stand just as well as he is. That just doesn't make sense to me. I can open my own door, carry my own packages, and I can definately stand on a bus.

[Beanie]

Whenever we are on a bus, my DH always gives up his seat to ANY woman or child or senior citizen to sit down on...He always offers them his seat...if they say No, then that is fine, but he would never wait for someone to ask him for it...

[Buzz2001]

posted by baileybrad
Some people are rude even at Disney, but some just don't think about the effects of their actions.
or do they care about their actions baileybrad, that is whats worse.


posted by GEM
But I don't think I should expect a man to get up and give me his seat just because I'm a woman. I'm certainly able to stand just as well as he is. That just doesn't make sense to me. I can open my own door, carry my own packages, and I can definately stand on a bus.
You are missing the point GEM. No one is forcing you to take the seat...the point is that offering is the polite, right thing to do. A simple No Thank You will do if you do not want the seat.

[disneyjunkie]

I think you should have said something to the men when you got on the bus. That happens on the bus and trains here often. Someone get on and takes up two or more seats with bags. Some people will stand instead of asking the person to move their things.

[d-girl]

When we got on the bus we didn't know that it was stanking room only. Our family and only 1 other couple had to stand. As far as robinb says that I was rude to "yell at him" after I didn't ask him to move that stroller, well first of all I didn't YELL at him and I never thought that someone else wouldn't let my daughter sit down. I could care less if I sat but to see a 6 year old trying to stand up while sleeping and me holding her makes no sense to me. I am glad to hear how most people would be polite and just use common courtisey. Come on people if we don't show our younger generations some manners in how to deal with others instead of being selfish then what do you expect out of this country in the future years. I wish Disney would install buses that had storage underneath it for the stroller because that is the problem. There is no place to put the strollers.

[seashoreCM]

If someone puts things on the seats, s/he has the obligation to remove them quickly without anyone's asking if there are people standing.

Feet should never be put on seats -- on buses, in auditoriums, anywhere -- at any time.

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Guess I goofed! (11/01) I was seated on the bus when a lady standing near me picked up her sleepy son. It was crowded and seemed difficult for me to squeeze out of the seat to exchange places with her, and it seemed like only a minute more to the resort, therefore I did not. But I was seriously considering, "I'll let the child sit on MY lap". Yes I look like the kind of person people point fingers at for not offering a seat.

Many years ago I was on the subway (Boston) and a lady was yelling at a seated man for having a large box with him, even though he took it off the seat (and someone else sat there). She was saying things like "you should pay another fare for that thing".

[robinb]

As far as robinb says that I was rude to "yell at him" after I didn't ask him to move that stroller, well first of all I didn't YELL at him and I never thought that someone else wouldn't let my daughter sit down.

OK, my bad. I assumed you yelled at him after reading the following exchange:

I was furious!! Also there were men sitting down to busy kissing their girlfriends to get up and be a GENTLEMAN and offer us their seats.. I was so upset>I went to the front of the bus and waited for the man to get off who had the stroller taking 2 seats to tell them how upset I was!!! He said well you should have said something!! Bull!!! YOu saw us get on the bus and looked the other way.

I guess I must have read it wrong :D.

FWIW, I really do sympathize with you. I would hate to ride the bus standing with a sleeping child clinging to me all the way back to the All Stars. Sometimes being the last one on the bus can be an awkward situation because the driver turns the lights off and takes off. I am surprised that no one gave you a seat, but maybe they didn't know you really needed it until it was too late and the lights were off. Yes, the men with the strollers should have given you the seat. But ... I still think that you should have asked them for the seat when you got on, or when your DD fell asleep, not at the end of the ride!

Does anyone else remember the last "bus seat" thread when someone (Figaro30?) posted that she got yelled at by someone because she didn't give up her seat to a woman with a sleeping child? Sheeh. I think that one made it to the "Debate" Board!

[GEM]

"You are missing the point GEM. No one is forcing you to take the seat...the point is that offering is the polite, right thing to do. A simple No Thank You will do if you do not want the seat."


I'm not missing the point, I just don't see why it is the polite thing to do. Why should a man be expected to offer his seat on the bus to a woman who is fully capable of standing. He's probably just as exhausted from wandering around the theme parks as she is. If he's on the bus first, he deserves the seat. Yes, if she is old, sick, pregnant, carrying a child, etc. then it would be rude for a man not to give up his seat for her. But in those cases, it would also be rude for me (a woman) not to give up MY seat for her. I don't think I deserve a seat on a crowded bus just because I'm a woman.

[Trekker]

I think I'm missing the point. if I go out of my way and pass on buses that have standing room only, to wait for a bus that has seats available because my family and I have had a long day at the parks or where ever, I am then supposed to give up that seat because someone else does not want to wait for a bus with seats available?

I do not get it.....

[Buzz2001]

posted by GEM
I'm not missing the point, I just don't see why it is the polite thing to do. Why should a man be expected to offer his seat on the bus to a woman who is fully capable of standing. He's probably just as exhausted from wandering around the theme parks as she is. If he's on the bus first, he deserves the seat. Yes, if she is old, sick, pregnant, carrying a child, etc. then it would be rude for a man not to give up his seat for her. But in those cases, it would also be rude for me (a woman) not to give up MY seat for her. I don't think I deserve a seat on a crowded bus just because I'm a woman.
Like I stated early, then just say No Thanks. It's only a polite offer. I can't change the way I was raised; to open doors, pull out a chair or offer a seat. But it's not about man or women, it is about being polite. If it was a women with a stroller taking up the seat the same should apply. Both my DW and I are able bodied individuals but I would never let her stand on the bus if only one seat were available. But it's not meant in a way that she is any less of a person than me, it's just who I am. It's not meant as a slam against you or any women.

But on the other hand, I have never had a women tell me not to open that door or offer me a seat. It is usually greeted with a thank you.

posted by WDWtrekker
I think I'm missing the point. If I go out of my way and pass on buses that have standing room only, to wait for a bus that has seats available because my family and I have had a long day at the parks or wherever, I am then supposed to give up that seat because someone else does not want to wait for a bus with seats available?
Yes...first every child should be in a seat.

Basic Etiquette
(As practiced in the United States)
On Public Transportation
When you take a local bus, train or subway, always wait for people to get off first before boarding. Once on the bus, give your seat to the following people:

the elderly, especially the frail ones
the disabled, whether on crutches or not
pregnant women
women with young children

[The Hunt]

A few points:

1. Manners are not always logical. While it may not be logical for a tired man to give up his seat to an able-bodied woman, in the past (and it the present in some places) this is considered one of the commonplace requirements of good manners. I've seen very elderly men offer to give up their seats to young women.
2. Manners change. I don't think I've seen a young woman accept the offer of a seat lately.
3. Manners aren't about rights. Nobody has a right to your seat, unless you're sitting in the designated handicapped seat, or unless the bus operator has a rule that certain people get seats over others. If you give up your seat, you get a karmic gold star for being nice.
4. If somebody is blocking a seat with a stroller or bag, asking them politely to move it is educational for everyone involved.
5. Some people are just jerks, and wouldn't give up their seat if a one-legged blind lady with two babies in her arms got on the bus. Getting mad at these people doesn't make them feel guilty, and only makes your blood pressure go up.

[MeanLaureen]

Posted by WDWTrekker
I think I'm missing the point. if I go out of my way and pass on buses that have standing room only, to wait for a bus that has seats available because my family and I have had a long day at the parks or where ever, I am then supposed to give up that seat because someone else does not want to wait for a bus with seats available?

Ron, I'm sorry but I just have to get my .02 cents in on what you said.

I am 34 years old and to anyone that meets me on the street, I look the picture of health. However, I have a rare disease that can cause me, with no warning, to go from a normal temperature to a fever of up to and beyond 104 degrees in a matter of 60 seconds. Sometimes I come close to passing out. I live with severe joint pain and that inflames when the fever spikes. I don't know when this will happen to me and there is no rhyme or reason to the frequency. I take a chemotherapy drug to try to control it, but it doesn't always work. If this happens to me while I am in the park, I want to get back to my hotel. I don't want to wait another 20+ minutes for a bus with seats available. This possibly could even happen to me while I am on the bus.

I guess you can say "maybe you shouldn't be going on vacation when you are sick". Well, chances are, I won't get better. I don't let it get the best of me. I work 40+ hours a week and I go to WDW 3-4 times a year. I'm not going to sit back and wait for this disease to kill me. I'm going to enjoy life!

You might want to keep this in mind the next time you are on a bus and someone asks for your seat.

I do not get it.....

No Ron.. you don't get it.

[Trekker]

Laureen

No need to apoligize, we are all entitled to our opinion.

There are exceptions to everything. Someone who is ill and has an immediate need to get back to there resort is different than someone who thinks the should be offered a seat because of thier gender or age. If you noticed in an earlier post of mine, I stated that my teenage son and I have given up our seat on many occasions. I take offense to people who expect someone to give up a seat for them any time they enter the bus. They can wait for the next bus as well as I can.

I am 43 years old and to anyone that meets me on the street, I look the picture of health. However, I have several physical problems that can cause me problems at anytime without much warning. Diabetes (crashing on your blood sugars is no picnic), artheritis, one knee that is nothing but bone on bone and will lock-up or give out for no reason, etc....

Now let me ask a question, if this 43 YO healthy looking male and a 50 YO healthy looking female enter the bus and there is standing room only, what is going to happen? How do you determine who to "offer" your seat to? There is a difference when someone is in dire straits and asks for a seat because they are ill.

[Jen D]

This reminds me-- here in NY, on buses or subways, there are seats with signs that say "won't you please give this seat to the elderly or disabled." These mean that it is okay for an able-bodied person to sit there as long as they give it up when called upon. Isn't the front of Disney buses (which are the exact same buses NY MTA uses, btw) also designated the same way? It isn't a perfect system, because there are always jerks, but it solves the problem of someone not wanting to give up a hard-won seat-- if you are sitting in those designated seats, it isn't really your seat to keep, you have to give it up.

On giving seats to the elderly-- I am a (somewhat) young woman, and I often offer my seats to older folks on trains or buses, but you do need to be careful-- early on I offended people, particularly elderly men, seemed angry or embarrassed by having a seat offered to them. So what I do now is try to vacate my seat quietly without doing it in a way that might be embarrassing to them. (the problem is, if you don't make it clear who you are vacating your seat for, some healthy young jerk will grab the seat before that person has a chance to get it.)

I don't know-- all this is more complicated than it looks.

[pooh6890]

First....Ron, I get your point. Also, my daughters and I have given up our seats when there was a necessity or we felt we should too. We usually always wait for another bus going or coming back from the parks so we have seats. Now the other point. It's funny all these tired sick frail people were at the parks all day long in the heat and crowds and then wait until the last absolute moment the park closes to leave. All of a sudden they are desperately tired and need to get back ASAP? Think about it.....if they were so tired, why didn't they just leave earlier?

[pooh6890]

Oh, I forgot......FLAME AWAY:( :( :( :( :(

[SueM in MN]

You are right about the WDW buses, Jen. I don't remember the exact wording, but there is a sign above the front seats on each side of the bus that says the seats should be given up for elderly or handicapped riders. There is also a sign above the seats near the back of the bus that fold up to make a wheelchair or ecv are.

[seashoreCM]

Although this does not help a younger parent carrying a child, the bus driver could, in the interests of safety, say things like that "the bus cannot be moved until the lady with the cane is seated".

This one probably does not apply to most of Disney buses, where everyone gets off at the same stop, but I would like to see city bus drivers take note of infirm persons boarding the bus. If able bodied persons don';t give them the front seats so marked the driver should announce that he will personally escort the infirm passenger off as his stop and that could delay everyone's ride.

At one time (not sure if still) in San Francisco, bus drivers were told to not pull away from a stop until everyone boarding had paid their fare.