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View Full Version : Lost DH to cancer Aug. Ist ever trip without him coming up.


CarolynU
11-13-2006, 03:19 PM
We are a Disney family through and through. First there was Me, DH, DD and DS. Later it became all of us + daughter's boyfriend who actually shed tears of joy the first time he joined us one Xmas. Then DS worked at Epcot for 1 year and met his future partner, so vacations became all of us + 2 partners. We had wonderful times and memories.
Sadly my husband of 31 years lost his 3 year fight with cancer this Summer. All through the 3 years we continued to vacation at WDW. I spent this August cancelling all of our upcoming ADR's and all travel plans. I then had to make a choice about the Xmas trip. Do we try to go without him this NYE as planned or cancel because it's too painful?
We talked and are going. If we don't then we may never go again. It will be difficult, and there will be tears I'm sure, but we've got to try.
Maybe you will keep us in your thoughts.

Cherry
11-13-2006, 03:41 PM
Carolyn, I just posted a new thread a few minutes ago about the loss of my husband of 41 years to cancer on August 18 of this year, and my first trip back to Disney without him coming up at Christmas. As soon as I posted, I saw your post, and was surprised by the similarities.

I am so sorry for your loss, and I can certainly identify with it totally. I am told that time makes it better, and I'm sure it does, but I know there will always be this empty place where he belongs. I try to make it my goal every day to think about all the fun we had, and how lucky I was to have him for so many years. Like you, I felt if I didn't go back to Disney soon, I might never go. I hope that the decision to go to Disney on our own is a good one for both of us -- I think it will be. I know I will be shedding a lot of tears, but I plan to laugh a lot, too, as I remember all the happy things we did at Disney together.

You and your family will be in my thought and prayers.

Mackey Mouse
11-13-2006, 04:01 PM
Hugs you two... I just read what you wrote and I have to say I have tears in my eyes as I am responding, but I hear you on the memories and what Disney means to you both.. It means the same to my husband and I, our daughters are flying in for this vacation and we are going to do everything in our power to make it special for him....

I am so glad that you are both going again.. Hugs!!!!!

Philagoofy
11-13-2006, 07:05 PM
CarolynU, so sorry for your loss. This must be a very tough time. I hope you can stay strong and find some enjoyment at Disney again next month.

Haley Whippet
11-13-2006, 08:00 PM
Sorry for your loss.
I think going to WDW will be healing for you. You all loved WDW and your DH would want you to carry on,and continue going to Disney. I am sure he will be there with you in spirit and the joy of Disney.. Ring in the new year and and raise a glass to your dear husband..
Deb

escape
11-13-2006, 10:24 PM
Carolyn and Cherry,

:grouphug: to you both. I'm so very sorry for your recent losses. I'm sure going to Disney will be very tough but at the same time, what a great way to honor the spirit of your DHs.

I lost my father after a long battle with cancer and shortly after his passing, my brother, some friends and I went to WDW. My father loved going there as well. His favorite ride was Pirates of the Carribean. We rode that twice for him. It seems odd still, but I swear I felt his presence that day. :goodvibes

May the wonderful memories of the past trips at WDW bring you comfort during your upcoming stays. Your DHs will surely be with you in spirit.

CarolynU
11-14-2006, 12:34 PM
To everyone who has offered their kind wishes thank you. To everyone who is suffering their own trauma right now I'm thinking of you.
We have no answers, but as long as we have no regrets then I guess that's the best we can ask for.

Mackey Mouse
11-14-2006, 07:31 PM
Carolyn, I love the way you put things.. just reading your posts make me feel better..

I am assuming that is Kent, England???? If so, I have been there....we went to visit friends of my daughter and they live in Kent... I loved it..We took the train from London. My daughter lives in London right now and it was our first trip to England to see her....my husband was not well and we did not know what was wrong with him.. When we got back, we faced tests etc...and that is when he got diagnosed, but we did get to see some of England....I only wish that I had spent more time in the countryside than all the time in London.....I did not meet many English people in London, but I loved the cab drivers....

Hugs...

CarolynU
11-15-2006, 04:44 PM
Mackey Mouse,
Thank you and hugs to you. Yes it is Kent in England, and I'm glad that you got the opportunity to see a bit of the countryside on your visit, and hope that you get the chance to come again, and maybe look me up!
Sometimes I have thought about which is worse the suspecting, the waiting or the knowing, and for me personally the first two are the hardest, but everyone is different. Each stage brings it's own trauma, and if you are like me you just long to turn the clock back to a time before your life was turned upside down.
Keep holding on, and I will keep thinking of you, and everyone here who is living through their own personal difficulties and/or sadness.

safetymom
11-15-2006, 06:21 PM
CarolynU, I am so sorry for your loss. Disney is a great place to go to heal. You will have memories of the special moments you spent at the parks but it is a great way to escape the real world for awhile.

After my husband passed away we went as a family to WDW. It was great watching my kids get a chance to be kids. For the 1st anniv. of his death I again went to Disney. No one at WDW knew my story, I could have time to believe in magic for awhile and forget about my worries and concerns.

We also went that first Christmas to WDW. I just couldn't do the traditional things we had always done for Christmas. Take care of yourself and give yourself the gift of Disney for your holiday.

CarolynU
11-19-2006, 04:41 PM
Thank you Safetymom for thr reassurance. This will be such a hard trip to take, but I do feel that we have made the right decision to continue as planned. I kept thinking of the alternative just sitting at home, and feeling thoroughly miserable, and decided that as hard as it will be it wouldn't be any easier sitting at home. It's funny that every time I picture Roger it's always walking down Main St in a particular pair of shorts and his patterned shirt with a huge smile on his face. I'm going to miss that so much, but must go on.

safetymom
11-19-2006, 04:47 PM
It will be good for you to take a vacation from the real world. I am sure you will take comfort in those memories of Roger in WDW.

disneydeb
12-01-2006, 03:36 PM
my mother died oct 2002, we went to wdw day after thatnksgiving2002, i was a little hesitent going that close after mom died and even wondered if i was a little disrespectful going that close after she died, but friends and family said with all we had been thru that past year go and enjoy yourself, im thinking yeah right i feel guilty anytime i wanted to smile because mom wasnt their to share it, well me, and daughter went and we to osborn lights the minute i saw the life size nativity i just started crying, i looked up and their was an elderly gentleman in front of me crying harder than i was, my daughter figured he just lost his wife, i have never regretted going even though there were some tears. the first year wasnt bad because you figure its going to be hard thru the holidays, my mothers birthday is in may and on may `1st the 2nd year it hit me like a ton of bricks and i had a complete meltdown at work, i just couldnt stop crying, my mom bd was may 6th and that year i actually did dcl for mothers day, it took me about 3 years till i could feel like i could be happy without feeling a guilty feeling. i always tell my daughter when i go mourn me for a month then snap out of it because i love her and dont want her to be sad all the time, her comment back was a whole month? lol, i hope this letter helps go and enjoy!!!!