There Will Not Be An Adoption Celebration @ DIS CON :( Long, sorry

[fostrmom2mny]

I could just cry!

I was so hopeful that I could FINALLY tell my DFD that the adoption was scheduled, but the mediation was scheduled for today. I showed up, Sam's attorney showed, but the State didn't and neither did her father or his attorney. When the mediator called the father's attorney, he stated that he didn't write the date on his docket and that e hadn't contacted the father. GGGRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is the 4th time that mediation was ordered by a judge. The 4th time that it hasn't happened, and this one was scheduled at the beginning of September. Reminder calls went out last week and I'm so disgusted!!

I think this is all part of her father's attorney's plan of nonaction. He doesn't want to be on the case, so for an entire year, this has been postponed again and again. The attorney had open heart surgery at the beginning of this year, but give me a break!

I'm not completely heartless, but the mediator said today that she'll be 18 soon, then there's nothing stopping us from adopting her then. (AAAHHHHHH, she's 13 and was placed in our home 3 years ago) Part of her emotional issues has been compounded because of her life being in limbo and out of any kind of control for her.

It's really tuff on us, because of the situation, but we have to keep all of this legal stuff away from her. We shield her from all of this stupid, inconsiderate, heartless emotional rollercoaster. I am having a hard time dealing with this and I'm an adult.

I'm trying to get on a positive note. I guess I'll have a "your very own key to the house" celebration. She keeps asking me when she'll get her own key to the house, so I think that I'll buy her a Disney keychain and put a key to our house on it and give it to her sometime during our WDW trip.

It's not at all what I had planned, but it will be something.
Gerri

[Mackey Mouse]

Hugs Gerri.. I will say a little prayer that this goes through for you all.. Take care..

[luvdsny]

I'm sorry Gerri. I know that you were looking soooooo forward to this adoption becoming a reality. :( {{{hugs}}} for you and your family.

I think the Disney keychain and the house key is a cute idea. :)

[tammyh-oregon]

So sorry to hear this. {{{hugs}}}

[Secret DISer]

Oh, Gerri! I'm so sorry to hear this!:( :(

That little girl is so lucky to have you!!:) :)

I think the "own house key" on a WDW keychain is a GREAT idea!! She'll love it!!

Hopefully, things will go better next time around!! And hopefully it will be soon!!

[Robin]

{{{hugs}}}

[DumboOrBust]

<font face="comic sans ms">Gerri, I'm so sorry. I know you were looking forward to this. Doesn't the judge care that the mediation isn't being carried out as ordered or am I being naive? {{{Hugs}}} for your whole family. </font>

[disneycub]

I'm so sorry Gerri. I can only hope that good will eventually come from all this. Keep your head up and try to be strong. {{{hugs}}}

[Barb]

Oh, Gerri, I'm so sorry. I could just cry, too. (actually, I am) I feel so bad for you. What a disappointment. I feel so bad for your DFD, too. What an emotional roller coaster for her and for you. I was wondering the same thing as Dayna, doesn't the Judge have anything to say about this? How can someone just not show up for something? Aren't there repercussions? I think you should be awarded the adoption by default! I like the idea of the key chain, too. Hopefully, this trip will be a good "cheer everyone up" trip! We'll all try to help in any way we can!! :D :D

[teri]

Gerri, I am sorry to hear that the mediation did not go as scheduled. These things really are a pain. The important thing is that she knows you love her, and that you will be there for her... she already has her forever family. Just a few details to iron out. {{{hugs}}}

[Patinmn]

Everyone has already said it all so....



{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}

[BelleMom]

Gerri, {{{HUGS}}}. Your DFD is very fortunate to have found someone so caring and loving as you are. I know you and the girls will have a wonderful time together in WDW, the kind of time that lingers forever in the memories. More {{{HUGS}}} to you.

I think the key of the house is a great idea!

[Towncrier]

So sorry to hear about your problems. I wasn't aware that "I forgot" was a valid legal excuse. You must be going through a whole gamut of emotions right now. I guess that guys are lucky. We only have ANGER in our emotional arsenal. Hugs to you. I think the house key ceremony is a great idea.

[glo]

I am so sorry...I will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers...Keep plugging at it and something will happen soon...I am sure she sees how much you love her, and that is what counts the most in the long run..Hugs to you all!

[bashful64]

I'm so sorry to hear that things did not go as planned Gerri. I know that you were so excited about the idea of an adoption ceremony at WDW. {{{HUGS}}}

Your DFD is very lucky to have you!

[RaySharpton]

{{{HUGS}}} to you Fostrmom2mny. I have such admiration for what you are doing. All children need love and to know that they are loved by angels like you. Best wishes and encouragement to you.

Sincerely, Ray

[going2wdw]

{{{{HUGS}}}} for you Gerri. How disappointing for all of you.

[perfectmatch300]

I'm so sorry to hear about your further delays with your adoption. I, too, did not realize that "I forgot" was a valid excuse. It has certainly never worked for me. I also think the house key ceremony is a good idea, as it will give her a sense of belonging and a feeling of being a trusted family member. {{{{HUGS}}}} to you and the rest of your family, and pixie dust ~*~*~*~*~*~ so that maybe the process will start going along as it should.

[NurseKim]

Oh Gerri, big {{{HUGS}}} for you. I'm so sorry and I hope things work out for you soon!

[Pumbaa_]

Geri, I am so sorry to hear your plans have been postponed AGAIN! Our legal system certainly leaves something to be desired. It doesn't seem fair that your DFD's father has more rights than she has. I am glad you have been able to keep most of this from her. (I take it she doesn't know about the postponement?) If that is the case, we may want to stree this on the boards so that someone meaning well doesn't inadvertantly say something to her.

What could be better than a Disney key chain! I am glad you will still be coming and you guys will still have a blast! {{{HUGS}}}

[dvc_bwv]

I can't believe the Judge has left this go on for so long with "I forgot" excuses. It just doesn't seem right.

One good thing is that you are the one making memories with you DFD and she knows she is loved by you. The own house key and Disney keychain are a great idea! She's lucky to have a wonderful foster mom like you.

[fostrmom2mny]

Thank you all so much! I can't tell you how much I appreciate your words of support! To answer a couple of questions.

The other times the judge didn't actually ORDER the mediation, he just suggested it. At each following court date when the subject of mediation came up, the people who have control over the process always gave different excuses. Once was a last min right before court date try. Court was scheduled for a Monday and they had three months to try to get something scheduled. They started calling everyone on Thursday for a meeting on Friday. Of course, several people couldn't attend because their schedule had already been filled. The second attempt was after the judge again suggested (stronger this time) for mediation, but the father told Child Welfare that he wasn't open to mediation. His attorney never even had the chance to explain to him what mediation was or was not. The third time we went back to court and the father's attorney wasn't there, because he had had open heart surgery. A colleague of his showed up to represent the attorney's office, but since the case was set to go to a jury trial, the stand in refused to take the case. That was when the judge asked him if he'd step in for the father's attorney if he was unable to make it to mediation and he indicated that he would. That is when the judge gave a court order for the mediation.

The case is set to go for a jury trial 12-10, so I guess we'll just have to wait and see. I just wanted the mediation to work out so Sam wouldn't have the possibility of having to testify before a jury and her father. I don't think that she'd be able to do it, and if she does, it'll make her feel really bad. I told my DH this morning that really, the only person that had a right to not comply with the court order was the father since a mediation is only voluntary. I wanted to be mad at him, but it's his attorney that I'm mad at. We also suspect that the father has lost his house and another reason that this didn't happen was because his attorney couldn't locate him, but just didn't want to let the rest of us know that he no longer has a house AGAIN.

Now to answer the other question, Sam has no idea that this was going on. She knows that she wants to be adopted, and she knows that we are trying to get thru all the red tape. She asked her case worker last week , "How much longer is it going to take to get thru all of the red tape?" Bless her heart, I'm not really sure she understands what that means exactly, she just knows it has to be finished before she can be adopted and she can change her name.

So please, let's keep the delay a "secret" between us friends. You can refer to the adoption, just smile when she mentions the red tape :)

Gerri

[Dan Murphy]

Looking forward to meeting you both and giving you a real {{hug}}. :)