OT - Need weaning ideas/support

[gottalovethem]

First off - please no bashing. This is not to debate the issues of nursing, it's to help me (and maybe others) wean their babies.

Second - don't say decrease feedings, that's obvious. What do I do when all he wants to calm down/go to sleep is to nurse?

Okay, that being said, I have a 13 month old that I am ready to wean, but am not sure how to go about it. We pretty much only feed before naps, before bed, middle of the night, and first thing in the a.m.

I'd love to lose the middle of the night one first, but don't know how. I do wait 10-15 minutes before I go to him, and that works where he will put himself to sleep sometimes, but not always. The downside to CIO is that he shares a room with ds3 and two kids awake in the middle of the night is not my favorite idea.

He doesn't take bottles or milk. He will drink water and juice out of a sippy cup and eats meals well.

At this point I do believe it is more habit than anything else.

Any POSITIVE suggestions/ideas would be much appreciated! Thank you.

[fabshelly]

I just let Alice decide. One night, she hadn't latched on right so I broke it off with a finger, gently, like always. Instead of returning to the breast, she just kind of shrugged and rolled over and went to sleep.

She never attempted to nurse again. She was about two weeks shy of her second birthday, and I breastfed on demand from birth. She had one bottle in the hospital and one bottle of breast milk when I had to go to the store and leave her with my mom for four hours.

[Not so Dumbo]

Try feeding him before he goes to bed( juice, food, milk from a cup) so that you know he's not hungry. Then you'll just have to let him cry it out for awhile. Maybe try a pacifer so he has something to suck on. I have a feeling it won't take long before he forgets about nursing.

[KirstenB]

As you know, if he's 13 mths, he doesn't need this middle of the night feeding. You're right, it should be the first to go. My opinion on breaking my children of an old habit, or introducing a new one is....I have to be prepared because neither of us is going to be happy for a while.

You just have to bite the bullet, and let him cry in the night until he goes back to sleep. I understand this wakes up your 3 year old, but realistically, the 13 mth old will probably take a few nights to get used to this change in his schedule.

I let both dd's use a pacifier, maybe you don't. Also, I weaned dd2 when she was 7 mths old, and it was easy to wean her, I'm sure because she's younger than your son.

The next easiest feeding to knock out would be the early morning. He's going to be most hungry then, so he probably won't fight a sippy cup of milk very hard.

I'd let him keep the bedtime feeding, and knock that one out last, because I'm sure it's as much a comfort habit, as it is nourishment.

Good luck, and remember that in the short term this will be tough, but long term, it's the right decision for you all.

[momofprincess]

I'm not a big fan of the "cry it out" school of thought. It was too hard for me when my girls were babies. I spent the time crying it out too. This may sound hippy-ish, but you got to do what your heart tells you is best for you and your baby.
I breastfed my girls on demand until they decided to wean themselves. I slowly introduced sippy cups and food. DD8 walked when she was 8 mos., she decided then she didn't want to breastfed anymore either. She would just turn her head an refuse to nurse. DD4 I breastfed until she was 13mos., and then started putting her in a daycare situation 2 days a week, with bottles of breastmilk for feeding while I returned to work part-time. I slowly increased bottles (mixing breast & formula at first and then decreasing one while increasing the other) & days at daycare. Eventually she was bottle-only. She was 1 1/2 years, I think.
good luck and :grouphug: to you!!

[Bird-Mom]

I have never weaned a baby that young, but this is what I would do. First, you may have better luck if you wait a few months. 12-14 months is time for a huge developmental spurt-a fussy stage, if you will-so baby is going to want comfort because of all the new things happening in his world. If you don't want to wait, I would start off by dropping the feed that is least important to him.

Logistically, it will be harder to drop the night feeding if you don't want to hear him cry and he is sharing a room. Nursing is a big deal to him. My dd age 2 is very vocal about how much she loves to nurse. I think if I tried to take the night feedings away, the whole town would know. My dd age 4 was ready to lose the night feedings earlier (at 20 months). It just depends on the child. So, as far as sleep, have you read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley? She gives lots of great advice to teach sleeping without crying.

Does he take one nap or two? If he is down to one nap (or on the way to one nap), I think I would run him ragged in the morning so that he is ready for nap and doesn't protest to go down without nursing.

The early morning might go next...bring him right to the table for breakfast if you can. Then start your day after his tummy is full. Run child ragged in order to put him down for a nap without protest.

IMO, before bed and in the night would be the hardest ones to drop. When it comes time to drop before bed (which would be my last one to go-it's a great time to reconnect and relax before sleep), I would give him a snack like yogurt or hot cereal just to make sure he goes down with a full belly.

I would not start a pacifier at 13 months because it is a true habit, as opposed to nursing, which is much more than habit. With a pacifier you are exchanging one comfort for another and it gives you something else to wean from, kwim?

Drop one at a time and give him a couple of weeks to get used to it. Doing it so gradually won't be as hard for him.

Good luck and congrats on making it past one year!

[tanyaandallie]

Go for the middle of the night feeding first. It's the one that is probably the hardest on you. I am not a fan of cio and believe that you can get your baby sleeping through the night without it. I night weaned my dd using Dr. Jay Gordon's night weaning method. It worked for us. It does involve crying (or it did for us) but no crying alone. Also, his method is directed at parents who co-sleep. We didn't co-dleep so we just modified his method to work for us. It took a week before she was sleeping through.

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

I would just take the rest of weaning slowly. I'd give yourself a week or two to get rid of the middle of the night feeding. Then start with the others. I weaned my dd at 20 mos and we introduced a sippy cup of water at bedtime an naptime to do it. I was 5 mos pg at the time so my milk production was low so I guess that might have helped. I would nurse her for a bit then take her off and give her the sippy of water. She would drink the sippy for a while then I'd rock her to sleep. It took a few weeks for this to really work and for her to really accept the sippy. She is now 3 and we still give her a sippy by her bed at night.

Generally I would say not to drop more than one feeding a week. If your little one starts to protest, just slow it down a bit. For me, I got rid of all the others then the nurse to sleep at night b/c it was the hardest for both of us to get rid of. Here is a link that may be helpful to you.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/weaning_techniques.html

[Bugsmom73]

I agree with bird mom and her suggestions. DD had to be night weaned at 11mos, we did not cut everything out but I almost fell asleep driving with her one day b/c she was nursing every 2 hours. It was not cold turkey by any means, can you say OUCH. SHe nursed until 21 mos. DS until 19 mos.

[maryjl]

I think you should nurse right before bed and when he wakes in the night just comfort him. I am not a believer in the "cry it out" school of thought. At 13 months the breastfeeding is mostly comfort, especially at night. I have 3 children. My first were weaned at 13months and 15 months, mostly because I thought that at one year it was "time to stop the breastfeeding". With my baby I was much older and working as a L&D/postpartum nurse with more education in breastfeeding and I decided that I would nurse her for as long as she needed to nurse. She was weaned at 26months. By that time it was just a bedtime nursing. Maybe it is not quite time to wean your child yet. I believe that much like potty training waiting until the child is ready is the key.

[MSSANDRA]

Thumbs up for nursing for a year. Good job. One suggestion is to let you DH go to her and comfort her instead of you. She can smell the milk and that makes it harder to be near you and not nurse.

good luck,
Ms Sandra

[MinnieGi]

I second DH going to calm your little one down in the middle of the night. This is what we did and it worked like a charm!!!! My DS was still waking 2 to 3 times per night wanting his mama's nursings. After 16 months of this I was worn out. However I was too cued into his cries and melted whenever he wanted me to nurse. So that is when DH stepped in. :) DS of course was not happy and did cry while DH tried to soothe him by rocking and singing. But we saw improvement in about a week. By a weeks time of just DH going to him he was only waking up once per night. That too disappeared in a few more weeks. In fact in two months time he went from being an awful sleeper to sleeping 12 hours straight per night!!!!!!

Get DH aboard to help!!!!

[gottalovethem]

Thank you all, for the suggestions and encouragement.

Bird-mom - thanks for the development issue, I wasn't aware of that, but I guess this is a huge brain development time, as he's getting smarter every day.

He has slept through the night, but maybe averages 1-3 times a week.

I may try the breakfast right away thing. I think that is what I did with the other two, but they were a lot younger when I weaned (ds was 6/7 months and dd was 10 months and she self-weaned).

maryjl - I appreciate the postive words, as I think part of my deal, aside from wanting to wear "normal" undergarments :rolleyes: is the nursing a toddler stigma (NO, we don't need to debate that issue here as that's not the point of this thread)

kirstenb - we tried pacis when he was a baby, but it never took, he preferred mama :rolleyes:

someone suggested the food before bed, I may give that a try. Thanks!

The ideas, and more importantly, the support, is greatly appreciated.

[ekball]

Thank you all, for the suggestions and encouragement.

Bird-mom - thanks for the development issue, I wasn't aware of that, but I guess this is a huge brain development time, as he's getting smarter every day.

He has slept through the night, but maybe averages 1-3 times a week.

I may try the breakfast right away thing. I think that is what I did with the other two, but they were a lot younger when I weaned (ds was 6/7 months and dd was 10 months and she self-weaned).

maryjl - I appreciate the postive words, as I think part of my deal, aside from wanting to wear "normal" undergarments :rolleyes: is the nursing a toddler stigma (NO, we don't need to debate that issue here as that's not the point of this thread)

kirstenb - we tried pacis when he was a baby, but it never took, he preferred mama :rolleyes:

someone suggested the food before bed, I may give that a try. Thanks!

The ideas, and more importantly, the support, is greatly appreciated.

Just a couple of other opinions/points of information to pass along...

1. I found that both of my kiddos did well with weaning when we changed our routine around the feeding we were dropping. For example, dropping the bedtime feeding? Change the routine leading up to the point at which the nursing would usually occur. We changed the location of where we read books and added a sippy with a little milk when dropping the bedtime feed (at 13 months). Both kids took the change pretty easily (I may have been lucky).

2. Not a tip but a reminder...my experience has been that with any 'hurdle' that I had to get over with my babies (weaning, sleeping through the night, bedtime fears, etc.), there may be a couple of rough days/nights, but I always find that they acclimate to the changes much faster than I expect. I always build up these hurdles in my mind, that they are going to be terrible, stressful, difficult, etc. And the reality is that they are merely a bump in the road, a few tears, but that the kids adjust to change much easier/more quickly than I anticipate. Know what I mean?? Kids adapt to change. Much easier than adults I think. :teeth:

Of course there's the obvious too....lots and lots of cuddles during this time. :love: You both will be fine. :hug:

Oh and lastly, congrats on your success...you have one lucky little boy.

[jchick]

I weaned mine at 15 months. I wanted to long before, but I was really all she wanted. She started eating more and more "real" food, juice, reg. milk, etc. I tried to fill her up in the evening so that she wouldn't wake and want me. What finally did it though is that she got sick with a stomach bug, and you know milk is the worst for this. It was the weekend, my husband took over for me so that she didn't try to go for my breast. It was a lot easier than I thought. We had to go cold turkey b/c of that.

Good luck! I feel your pain!

[noodleknitter]

Just a couple of other opinions/points of information to pass along...

1. I found that both of my kiddos did well with weaning when we changed our routine around the feeding we were dropping. For example, dropping the bedtime feeding? Change the routine leading up to the point at which the nursing would usually occur. We changed the location of where we read books and added a sippy with a little milk when dropping the bedtime feed (at 13 months). Both kids took the change pretty easily (I may have been lucky).

2. Not a tip but a reminder...my experience has been that with any 'hurdle' that I had to get over with my babies (weaning, sleeping through the night, bedtime fears, etc.), there may be a couple of rough days/nights, but I always find that they acclimate to the changes much faster than I expect. I always build up these hurdles in my mind, that they are going to be terrible, stressful, difficult, etc. And the reality is that they are merely a bump in the road, a few tears, but that the kids adjust to change much easier/more quickly than I anticipate. Know what I mean?? Kids adapt to change. Much easier than adults I think. :teeth:

Of course there's the obvious too....lots and lots of cuddles during this time. :love: You both will be fine. :hug:

Oh and lastly, congrats on your success...you have one lucky little boy.

:thumbsup2 Nice reminder. Any time you make someone change a behavior things will briefly get a bit worse. Stick out the fussies, let you husband help, and your little man will come thru like a champ. :)

[gottalovethem]

Unfortunately, DH is pretty much not around (he works two jobs). So I can't rely on his help. I am hoping that he will suddenly lose interest, but am ready to try some suggestions to begin the process.

I appreciate the ideas and especially the support! I don't have anyone around me that has really been through this or understand it, so sometimes it's lonely and frustrating to work out the nursing issues. Thanks DIS!!

[Katy Belle]

I didn't read all the posts...so this may have been said. Have your DH get up with him in the middle of the night. Hopefully you will be surprised and it will only take a few nights.

I tried to eliminate a feeding at a time with my DS, he was 16 months, but that just didn't work for us. So I went cold turkey. I just quit. Gave him a sippy cup, rocked, but no nursing. He would chase me around the house with a pillow because I always layed him on a pillow on my lap to nurse. It was hard and heartbreaking, but I was ready. It really only took about a week. I hid all the pillows from all the beds in the closets in the day. I kept us very busy going places, etc. WE DID IT!

I weaned my 3rd son at the same age, but I don't remember anything about it! It must have been easy!

Good luck! I hope it goes smoothly for both of you.
Katy :sunny:

[WDWorBUST]

I weaned DD at 15 months and it was definitely one of the hardest things I had ever done. I work FT and at around 11 -12 months she quit taking bottles during the day and just nursed when I was home. I needed to have a medical test done that required me to wean her (I found out when she was probably 6-8 months) and I held out until "we" were ready. It felt like we tried everything. But the thing that worked was I went out of town for a weekend and she stayed with Nanny and Poppa - those 3 days and she was weaned. I was miserable - but she did really well.

[Addicted2TheMouse]

I am hoping that he will suddenly lose interest, but am ready to try some suggestions to begin the process.

Yeah, him losing interest is not likely to happen any time soon. It's been my experience that boys just don't give up the **** easily. ;) My DS is 25 months and just starting to wean. Have you tried "don't offer, don't refuse"? I don't know if anyone else has mentioned it yet but it's the LaLeche League's recommendation for weaning and basically what I'm doing with my DS. I know others have said to work on the nighttime feedings first, I'm not sure I agree with that. Those are probably the ones that mean the most to him. You'll probably have an easier time with giving up any daytime feedings first, then he may start to lose interest at night.

Good luck with whatever you do. And if it doesn't work out, it really isn't that bad to be nursing a toddler. I NEVER thought I would but I just kind of fell into it. And now letting him self-wean has started to mean a lot to me. And I'm saying that in only the most supportive way, not to start any kind of debate. :flower3:

ETA- I can't believe I got censored! :rotfl2: Apparently you can't say b00b on the Dis!

[noodleknitter]

You also aren't supposed to bypass the filter. You might want to remove your **** in the edit! Hate to see you banned for silliness!

[mad hatter fan]

I weaned my youngest by slowly reducing the number of feedings between 15 and 18 months. He decided he was done around 18 months when my milk supply started to dwindle.
I was wondering if your son falls asleep while nursing before bed. If so, one thing that may help with dropping that middle of the night feeding is to change your bedtime routine enough so that he is usually not falling asleep while nursing. I found that making sure my son was still awake when I put him down for the night helped with his ability to go back to sleep in the middle of the night without my help.
Good luck! :thumbsup2

[gottalovethem]

mad hatter - you know, I will have to pay more attention to that. Sometimes he does fall asleep that way, and sometimes I feed him, he doesn't fall asleep and I let him run around a bit more before I put him down. I think last night was one of the run around nights and he slept thru until 5 a.m. (though he didn't go back to sleep :rolleyes: ). Maybe it's how he falls asleep to begin with . . .thanks for bringing that up!

[solgent]

Haven't read all the replies.

Main thing I want to say: I understand completely that the middle of the night is the one you most want to drop but I wouldn't start with that one. Why? Because it's the middle of the night & not the best time to deal with guiding baby to a new routine. I do not agree with letting baby cry.

My approach and thinking would be "We are establishing a new pattern." Don't even think about it negatively like "decreasing feeding."

I think first thing in the morning is the easiest to change. Just don't be in bed or wherever you might normally have your nursing session & go straight into breakfast.

I think if you work on a different way of easing into nap & bedtime, the middle of the night will follow. Baby will get used to falling asleep without nursing & that will happen at night as well.

I also think that when we parents are not conflicted, when we believe there is no other way and that something has to happen, we are able to present things in such a way to our children that they can sense that we're serious and they go along with it.

Finally, I think that weaning is an ongoing process. Maybe if you can replace some of these feedings, you'll want to continue the ones that remain. I got to the point that I felt I needed to get more control, but when I did, I enjoyed nursing again and enjoyed knowing that the girls were getting nutritional benefits, and we continued nursing for quite a while on the reduced schedule I had established.

Here's my advice, which is how I stopped nursing my twins at naptime:

Announce the new plan. (By the way I think that parent-led weaning takes more time and energy than breastfeeding-- at first. You have to put more time into coaxing baby into the new pattern. Then once you've done that you can trim it back, so you end up not spending as much time. But it is an investment.) Read a book, sing a song, then lie down together and just talk to him soothingly and maintain physical contact until he falls asleep, no matter how long it takes. Do this for at least several days. Then say that you're going to lie with him for a while, and then you have something to do, but you'll check on him. Wait until he's really drifting off to leave. By the time you come back to check he'll be asleep. Soon you'll be able to do your story or song and then go.

[SusanMomOf2]

I'd get rid of the easiest feedings first. I'm still nursing my younger daughter who is 21 months, and it's getting to the point where I want to stop... but I nursed her big sister for at least 2 1/2 years, so that's my goal... I'm crazy.

But anyway, what I'm doing is letting my 21 month old nurse when she wants which can be a lot or a little... depends on what we're doing. The easiest time to not nurse is anytime during the day except at nap time. So, when I tell her, "No nini right now, mama's busy," she usually just goes to other things to entertain her. So, with your 13 month old, perhaps instead of an early breakfast nursing session, start giving him a bottle and some food. Usually, the morning time is the happiest and most alert time of the day for a well rested child, so you're catching him at a good time. After that, then you might want to do away with the naptime ones. The nighttime ones are going to be more difficult because everyone's tired, I assume, and the easiest thing to do is plop a **** in there to calm things down.

Also make sure you are extra loving for the times you don't nurse. I'm sure you will be though!

And making it to 13 months is AWESOME! I give kudos to anyone who tries it. And for those who never do, hey, formula is such a great thing nowadays. So take it from me, there's nothing wrong at all with making it as far as you have!

Good luck with it!

[belle&beast]

I think finding the right cup to use can be important, too. My kids self weaned easily but my cousin had the hardest time finding a cup that her DD would use for milk. She ended up with Nubi cups that have a silicone top so they are flexible. She only used this for milk- juice and water went in the other sippy cups- and she quickly started drinking milk from her sippy cup.

[Bird-Mom]

I think part of my deal, aside from wanting to wear "normal" undergarments

I can totally understand this! You should see the nursing bra that I tossed a couple of months ago. I had bought it before my older dd was born, it was the wrong size and completely worn out. Yuck! Do you have a Nordstrom near you? They have some gorgeous nursing bras that you wouldn't even think are specialty bras. Anita and Le Mystere make some lacy ones that are beautiful and practical. If you don't have Nordstrom, get measured somewhere and buy them online.

I also ended up buying some regular bras and just undoing the back if I'm at home or moving the cup above the breast if we are out.

It is amazing what some new bras can do! :cheer2:

[44disney]

Perhaps you could let your older child "camp out" in a different room for a few days if you think that younger one will be fussy while you faze out the middle of the night feeding.

[emh1129]

We're still nursing and I've been wearing regular bras for a year or so (dd is 23 mos). I just couldn't handle the nursing bras! :)
Anyway... I have so been there. I thought I was going to go nuts with nighttime feedings. Then, just as I thought I was going to lose my mind, dd started sleeping through the night consistently! She was between 13-14 mos. Now she only nurses at naptime and before bedtime.

I wouldn't be surprised if your little guy makes this transition soon.. I will keep my fingers crossed for you! :)

[grlpwrd]

My youngest dd is 15mo and she still nurses before bed. I have been getting her to sleep by cuddling with her using her special blanket. I noticed she will "ignore" nursing if I cuddle with her if she awakens during the night. I really try not to act all lovey-dovey and not play with her so she doesn't think it is a fun time or else she will keep doing it. :crazy: I read this on a nursing board I frequent and perhaps acting this way helps her not to be conditioned to awaken overnight.

I also notice that she will awaken if she doesn't burp well. I am into attachment parenting and I nurse her and then rock her to sleep. I make sure to always burp her well, too.

Here's a helpful website I turn to for bf'ing advice (even if my youngest is my 5th baby I am still learning):

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/weaning/how_weaning_happens.html

GL to you! :wizard:

[gottalovethem]

grlpwrd - I will check out the site, thank you. WTG on nursing your fifth! That's a big commitment you made to your children :thumbsup2 I'm impressed!

emh - thanks for the thumbs up for the possibility of next month going more gradually! I sure hope that's the case for me.

I do the not nurse, unless "asked" for, which in his case is the whining and throwing himself at me :rolleyes: I am trying to go right to breakfast with him in the a.m., but then he's wanting to nurse soon afterwards :confused3

Thanks all for the positive advice & support! It's nice to have someplace to share these ideas.

[KristiKelly]

I'm so glad this topic was brought up. I'm currently trying to wean our 15 mo. DD. I'm down to 2 (sometimes 3) times a day. She has slept through the night since she was only a month old, we got very lucky with that.

I was originally going to wean her @ 12 mo but we had a WDW trip planned last month and I decided to wait until after that trip because I knew I could get her to sleep nursing. Since that trip though, she has stopped going to sleep while nursing at night, but she goes to sleep fine in her bed at night.

Anyway, back to topic - I cut out the morning feeding first, she did fine with that. It took my body a couple of days to adjust but she did fine. I feed her breakfast and give her a cup of milk or water (she prefers water over milk).

I think I could give up bedtime easier than naptime. She will go to sleep on her own in her bed AT NIGHT but if I try during the day, she will scream like someone is pulling her hair out. :confused3 . I'm working on that though.

I am hoping to have her weaned by Thanksgiving. I'm waiting for DS football season to be over with so DH will be home in the evenings to help with her.

Good luck, will get through this.

[jayhjay]

Well, you have gotten a lot of good advice, but here is my 2 cent, fwiw. I weaned my DDs at 13 and 15 months. Both had already stopped nursing at night, but were eating maybe 3-4 times at day (waking, twice during the day, before bed).

I dropped the day time feedings first. Mostly by substituting food at meals. I was tending to nurse either before or after a meal and I just gave them more to eat/drink.

THen I dropped the before bed feeding. Both my girls would wake up ravenous and they really wanted to eat as soon as they woke up, so for me that was the hardest to give up. At night we sort of changed up our routine (DH helped) and got them out of the cycle of nursing right before falling asleep.

I think the biggest hurdle is whether your child is nursing to fall asleep. Until he can fall asleep without being fed first, it is hard to give up the naptime/bedtime/middle of the night nursings b/c they are looking for the soothing.

By the time I weaned, both kids could fall asleep awake. My older one was a champion sleeper and did it on her own. My younger one need some "help". Basically we put her down drowsy (after a bath, after a story, after some cuddling) but not asleep. We would stay in the room and be present, (rub back occassionally, talk to her occassionally) but not pick her up. Sort of a "we're here for you, but you need to go to bed" message. Eventually the crying lessened and before long she could go to sleep on her own.

I really think once this happens it is much easier to break the eating before feeding (or eating when they wake up at night) cycle.

Good luck!

[gottalovethem]

Kristikelly - sounds like you are doing a great job weaning! WTG!

I have started to eliminate the a.m. feeding, and we have been busy the last few a.m.'s so we've been pushing back the nap, hence another less feeding. We shall see if this keeps going.

jayhjay - he can fall asleep on his own, but that's not always what happens. After taking ideas and suggestions I am thinking (hoping) that if get the a.m. feeding out for good that the before nap feeding won't be too hard to get rid of. We shall see. Thanks for you two cents!

[rt2dz]

I know exactly what you are talking about. My first two self-weened at about 1 year each, but DS 13 months is still nursing and I want to quit. It is no longer mutally benefitual; I want to get pregnant again, and would like my body back to myself for a little bit first.

We're still nursing 2-3 times per day: first thing in the morning, somewhere between noon and 4 (not associated with napping), and shortly before bed. We dropped the other feedings mainly by more and more solid food. He doesn't really seem to care. Although he'd really have a hard time giving up the first thing in the morning feeding.

MY problem is that he never took a bottle and can't seem to get the sippy cup down. I can hold a spouted cup without any leak proof valves and he'll awkwardly drink from it, but it's slow and frustrating to both of us. We've tried every kind of cup under the sun.

I would LOVE any kind of advice anyone might have for me.

[belle&beast]

I know exactly what you are talking about. My first two self-weened at about 1 year each, but DS 13 months is still nursing and I want to quit. It is no longer mutally benefitual; I want to get pregnant again, and would like my body back to myself for a little bit first.

We're still nursing 2-3 times per day: first thing in the morning, somewhere between noon and 4 (not associated with napping), and shortly before bed. We dropped the other feedings mainly by more and more solid food. He doesn't really seem to care. Although he'd really have a hard time giving up the first thing in the morning feeding.

MY problem is that he never took a bottle and can't seem to get the sippy cup down. I can hold a spouted cup without any leak proof valves and he'll awkwardly drink from it, but it's slow and frustrating to both of us. We've tried every kind of cup under the sun.

I would LOVE any kind of advice anyone might have for me.
I am a speech therapist and I used to work with infants and todlers on feeding issues. One thing you can try is a straw cup. They are not as spill proof as sippy cups with valves, but they are better for his oral motor development. If you have trouble getting him to suck on the straw, send me a PM and I can give you some pointers. Also I wote earlier that my cousin had luck using a Nubi cup. It has a soft top and some kids really prefer the soft top to the hard plastic. Good luck!

[gabbysmom04]

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say how great it is that there are so many women out there who stick it out and are able to breastfeed. :thumbsup2 I gave up after a few months with DD and then was so excited to breastfeed DS until he was born with a bilateral cleft lip and palate so that went out the window :sad1: I want so much to try again with # 3 You guys give me hope that I can do it. Good luck with weaning! My DS is almost a year and still feeding at night so I understand that part. :thumbsup2

[Camno's Mama]

I would also encourage your husband giving the nighttime wakings a try. I do think most babies can be distracted...maybe he could even rock him to sleep in a different room if you're worried about your other child. Have you thought about letting the older child sleep on your floor while you're dealing with this transition? I know that might create it's own set of problems, but it might be worth it to you.

I nursed my older one for 22 months, and to be honest, I don't remember how the whole weaning process worked! It just kind of happened. I know that I'd had it at night and I think we just sat in the room with him and rubbed his back and held his hand until he went back to sleep. It wasn't easy, and he didn't like it, but as pps said, it went more smoothly than I had expected. We are hitting that point with my 13 month old as well...at least at night, so let me know how it goes! It gets so much easier once they don't nurse during the night. I really enjoyed everything more once I was getting sleep!

Congratulations on nursing this long...good for you! Sometimes it's just time to take back your own body! :)

Good luck!
Courtney

[disnut1149]

Just wanted to say that I think it's great that there are so many nursing mothers out there. I'm a grandmother now, my oldest is 32 and nursing wasn't so popular when she was born. Nursed her till she was 25 months, and I told her they were broke and she was waiting for the repairman all day to come and fix them. She was only nursing once or twice a day, for comfort. My second daughter weaned herself at about a year, and my son weaned himself at about 3 years old. Never thought he would stop. I let him go since I knew I wasn't going to have any more kids. My girls were 10 and 7 when he was born. I hope you guys have enjoyed nursing as much as I did!!

[gottalovethem]

disnut - LOVE the "their broken" theory! :rotfl2: I will keep that in mind.

I am trying to cut out the a.m. feedings, but when he gets up at 5 a.m., I'm not ready to start giving him food (too tired to start my day that early) so I nurse. Today he woke later and I was able to go right to breakfast and then he didn't nurse until a.m. nap time.

Persistance is the key, I'm sure. Thanks for the stories from the DIS moms out there. The words are encouraging and remind me that this will not be forever.

Gabbysmom - good luck with #3!

[staci]

Must admit, I scanned the thread but didnt read the whole thing.

Well just wanted to say we kinda did the opposite: the middle of the night feeding was the last one to go, as it was the hardest one for me to enforce and the most comforting for him. He was 15 months when we weaned him

For waking up from a nap, we just had something fun to go do right away to distract him. Change your schedule up a little. For going down for naps Does your child nap well anywhere without bfing? Take a car ride around naptime, or go to the mall or on a stroller walk if they will sleep in there; anything different from the normal routine.

The last suggestion is to go VERY slow. If you really struggle with that middle of the night feeding you really might want to let it continue for awhile. If part of your reasoning is the fact of a toddler nursing and how people view that, maybe think about the daytime feedings first (the ones that others are more likely to witness). We weaned ds for about 3 months, and it was such a gradual, day by day process that I honestly think he didnt notice. He didnt reall protest at all except for that final middle of the night feeding. he cried for about 4 nights, and i just laid there and held him, but he did accept it.

HTH!! sorry fr any typos, i am nursing right now!

[justhat]

GLT, like Staci I sorta skimmed through the rest of the posts so maybe this was said. I started weaning Madison when she was 13 months too. I wasn't in a huge rush so she wasn't totally weaned till 21 months, but that was my own doing, I could have moved things along faster if I had wanted to.

At 13 months she nursed when she woke up in the morning, before nap and bedtime (we were at 1 nap/day then), during the night, and then maybe once randomly during the day. The first feeding I got rid of was at naptime. It worked out well cause we were in WDW at the time so she'd fall asleep in the stroller for naps everyday and forgot about nursing. That can work at home though by sticking him in a stroller at naptime or any other distraction to get him to nap (the car, whatever).

Once the naptime feeding went away, pretty much any other daytime feeding was gone too (except the 1st thing in the am one), on her own. Then, at the recommendation of her ped, we went to a sleep clinic and they told me that to get her to sleep through the night without nursing then she had to go to bed that way too. So I had to start putting her to bed without nursing her first. That was very tough cause like you my husband is not around much so I had to do it on my own and she knew I had milk available. I tried having him help with bedtime a couple of nights but it was futile so I would do it myself. I just held her and read a book, rocked her, whatever I had to do to get her to sleep. She was just about 16 months when we did this. During the night I'd repeat that, anything to get her back to sleep without nursing her. Those 2 feedings were very rough cause she is so strong-willed that she'd stay up screaming and I admit I gave in a couple of times. But I'd say after a month or so she was going to sleep without nursing and though she still woke up during the night she was going back to sleep without nursing.

The first thing in the morning feeding was the only one left by 18 months and that took 3 months to get rid of, mostly cause of my own laziness. Like Leif, she got up so early and I didn't want to so I let her come in my bed and nurse back to sleep and we'd both get a couple of extra hours of sleep in that way. The way I stopped it was that I started waking up before her and then got dressed and ready for the day before she woke up. Then when she woke up I'd just get her out of bed and play with her for a bit then feed her breakfast. I didn't do this everyday in the beginning though, maybe once a week, then a couple of times a week, etc. till eventually she just didn't ask one morning. Also, doing it this way really depleted my milk supply so on the mornings that she did nurse she didn't get much and would say "more mama" and get sad when I told her there wasn't any more. But I guess not getting much made the days where I didn't nurse her less hard and then she just stopped.

Good luck with it. I know it was really hard and then after it was done I was sad she wasn't nursing anymore. Of course the sadness was short lived cause I found out I was pregnant with Henry a week later and wished I had more time to my own body, but oh well.

[ndgqmiller]

I didn't read all the post, but I'm sure you have gotten some great response. First of all I'm jealous. the day before my daughter turned one she turned her head away when I offered her the breast. I had made a pack I was going to make it one year. I wasn't successful with the first two kids so I was sticking to this goal. I had to pretty much beg for the last nursing. Anyway back to your dilema. It does seem like habit. I would really try to do a good feeding at 9 or so and maybe even have your other child sleep in another part of the house while you try to let the baby cry it out. My kids thinks its a treat if I let them sleep in our play room. I bet it will only take a couple of days and you'll be set. Goodluck!

[RandiB]

I'm not going to be helpful...

I had a hard time weaning. I was torn about whether or not I wanted to quit.

My daughter started slowing down a lot and just stopped on her own at 18 months.

I asked numerous people about help with weaning, but everyone was either shocked I was bfing a one year old or felt I needed to let her self wean.

Good luck. I did distract my DD a number of times when she woke up for feedings. I would sit in the living room with her and offer her water. It worked. She sleeps in her own room though, so it was easier.

[gottalovethem]

Randi - Yeah, I try not to nurse in public anymore, though for th emost part we don't need to.

I'm working on skipping the a.m. one if he wakes at a normal hour. I have been feeding in the a.m. before nap. Sometimes he goes to sleep right away, othertimes he doesn't. Yet I'll still put him down for a nap shortly thereafter.

I think what I'm reading, and experiencing, is that it is a process and doesn't usually happen overnight. Patience, patience, patience will be my new motto.

Thank you! Keep the ideas/solutions coming. It's encouraging to read 'em.

ngdqmiller - neat idea about sleeping in the playroom!