Would you still go?

[lovesmurfs]

Okay. We've just received word today that my husband's being deployed to Afghanistan, most likely the end of October. He's been in the National Guard 26 years and this is his first deployment. I'm okay with it -- we're promised strength and grace for the hour.

On to Disney...... Our trip is planned (and really PLANNED, down to the GF Perfectly Princess Tea, Candlelight Processional Package, HDDR, Luau, and MVMCP tickets) for December 14-23 (for us and DS12 and DD7), and we've all been psyched. He's saying I should cancel, as nearly everything's refundable (except tickets, which don't expire, and the deposit on the rental villa). The deployment's likely to be for 18 months (we haven't gotten the orders yet).

WWYD? :confused3 I don't mind taking the kids on my own at all. I'm just looking for different points of view on it. I would not consider bringing someone else along as a substitute -- we'd cancel all of his stuff and it would just be the three of us. A thought had crossed my addled brain to even try to extend our stay over Christmas so that we won't be by ourselves.

[DizzKneeGeek]

Obviously with something like this you are going to get the whole gamut of opinions. So I hope you're ready.

As for my opinion...I think it would be a great idea to go ahead with the trip. If you cancel the trip your kids will have two letdowns instead of one(not going to Disney and dad being gone). I'm sure they are looking forward to the trip. If they don't get to go they will be disappointed for not getting to go and for their dad being gone as well. Maybe going on the trip might get their minds off missing pops. Have you asked the kids their opinion on the matter?

[CAGirl]

Hmmmm....that's a tough one. I too am married to a man in service and sometimes things just have to go on. I miss my husband and all while he is gone but we keep going on as if he were still here. With kids your age I would probably go ahead and go also. Seems like a good way to keep the spirits up around the holidays if their dad is away. The only reason I would be hesitant is because of his reason for wanting you to cancel it....jealous, nervous about you going alone, etc. So if you didnt go would you plan to go when he got back? I know that is a long time to have the kids wait. Good Luck with your decision.
Deanna

[mecllap]

Yep -- that's a tough one all right. I think going ahead with the trip would be the better choice, unless there are also other factors (financial burden or something -- if you can really afford it okay, I'd even add 3-4 more days to stay for the 25th -- unless you have family at home to spend it with, that would also be a fun distraction). Postponing for another 1-2 years doesn't seem fair, when you've already got it all planned (unless you've already gone recently, or several times).
(was going to do some supporting reasons, but have to log off, just got a lightning storm here). Good luck with your decision, and with getting thru everything the next months.

[serendipity]

I would definately still go. Your children are going to miss their father immensely, this will be a way to cheer them up around the holidays. If affordable I would stay there for christmas also. When your husband returns you can return to disney, for a whole family trip.

[Al and Kate's Mom]

I think it would be a great idea to go ahead with the trip. If you cancel the trip your kids will have two letdowns instead of one(not going to Disney and dad being gone). I'm sure they are looking forward to the trip. If they don't get to go they will be disappointed for not getting to go and for their dad being gone as well. Maybe going on the trip might get their minds off missing pops. Have you asked the kids their opinion on the matter?

I agree with DizzKneeGeek, and your thought about staying through Christmas...run it by the kids and I'm sure you'll make the right decision for yourselves.

My thoughts are with you and your husband and family as he gets ready to go - please tell him Thank You for me!

[princesstigerlilly]

Okay. We've just received word today that my husband's being deployed to Afghanistan, most likely the end of October. He's been in the National Guard 26 years and this is his first deployment. I'm okay with it -- we're promised strength and grace for the hour.

On to Disney...... Our trip is planned (and really PLANNED, down to the GF Perfectly Princess Tea, Candlelight Processional Package, HDDR, Luau, and MVMCP tickets) for December 14-23 (for us and DS12 and DD7), and we've all been psyched. He's saying I should cancel, as nearly everything's refundable (except tickets, which don't expire, and the deposit on the rental villa). The deployment's likely to be for 18 months (we haven't gotten the orders yet).

WWYD? :confused3 I don't mind taking the kids on my own at all. I'm just looking for different points of view on it. I would not consider bringing someone else along as a substitute -- we'd cancel all of his stuff and it would just be the three of us. A thought had crossed my addled brain to even try to extend our stay over Christmas so that we won't be by ourselves.

At the risk of sounding really nosey, may I ask why he thinks you should cancel? I am not wanting to pry, but I'm not sure how much I am able to help you without knowing why he thinks you need to skip the trip.

If he wants you to cancel because he's worried you'd be taking on too big a trip as the only adult, reassure him that you are very comfortable with the trip on your own. I agree that your DH being deployed is a big deal for all of you and will be very hard, esp. around Christmas. The trip may be just the thing to help you through that time. If you don't have extended family nearby that you can spend the holiday with, I think maybe you should extend the trip a day or too as well.

Please pass on my appreaction to your DH as well.

[Jackmonkey]

From the point of view of an ex-serviceman, I may be able to shed a little light on his reasons for wanting to postpone this trip. I was in the Army for the years leading up to and through the first Gulf War. I traveled all over the world in numerious deployments in one of the busiest divisions around. Although most of them were for training, it still ment a good deal of time away from my wife, and our newly born son. (2 weeks after his birth I was deployed for 3 weeks.)

When serving this great nation and it's way of life, the brave men and women of our military miss so much of what the normal family takes for granted in their everyday lives. Birthdays, first steps, Valentine's days; They all slip quietly by. A family vacation to Walt Disney World woud definately be a hard thing for a father to miss. Just as takeing the vacation might be a way of preserving some sense of normalicy in the rest of the family's lives through this difficult seperation.

Either way, it isn't going to be an easy decission, and I don't envy you for having to make it. But I do want to pass on my heartfelt appreciation for the hardships of your family's service to our country, and best wishes for your husband's speedy and safe return.

[manda40475]

I'll be in the minority here (especially considering this is a Disney board), but I would postpone the trip until your husband returned. That was something I'm sure he was looking forward to and had saved up as to do as a family. Even though the reasons for taking the kids by yourself in December are valid and sound like a good idea, you're taking that away from your husband. If it were me, I would put the trip off until dh returned as a "welcome home"/bonding time with family only trip. Maybe you could plan something else with the kids to do during that time.

[Fafolguy]

I'd say go ahead. It might make his absence a bit easier to take, since you could keep yourself distracted. I would DEFINATELY plan on another trip as soon as he returned, as well. That way you get to celebrate his return as well as have a great magical vacation.

[Viki]

Thank you so much for the sacrifices your family is making and yes, unless it's something your husband just doesn't want to miss out on, I'd say go and make the very best of it!

[disneygal33]

Persoanlly, if I could, I would still go.
I'm so sorry you even have to make this choice!

[mrsscooter]

As a navy wife of 12 out of 20 of my husbands career so far, I say go and have a great time!!! I know how hard it is to experiences such an imortant thing without your husband around. My husband missed my son being born by 5 days and came home to a 6mo old son for the first time. Like someone else had said, you would doing something fun and keeping you busy during the holidays. Its always fun to do something "new". I would also try to stay over christmas. Unfortunately, life goes on while our hubbys are on deployment, and with children, its important to keep the "normalsy" if you will.
My husband has always said that he wants us to go and do anything we can to keep us busy while he is gone. His only request is that we send him a postcard and get him a tshirt. So, what you could do is get a postcard and tshirt from every park and write some of the highlights about that park on the post card and then when you get back, send him a care package of all the postcards/tshirts, and maybe even a few extras,like mickey lolly pops or pretzles, or book of disney trivia, etc. I hope this has helped and hopefully encourages you to still go. Just remember that only you can make the final decision, and know that it is the right one. Good Luck...........and chin up!!!

[NurseW2Kiddies]

My husband and I were both in the military. He had to leave for a year when our son was 18 months old. While I undersatnd both points of veiw, I beleive in some ways it is harder to be the one still at home. You need to stay busy. Your life doesn't stop because he is gone. Christmas is especially hard and you might as well be somewhere you totally LOVE!!!! Hopefully when he returns, you can plan another trip. Good luck and safe wishes for your sweetie.

[Donald - my hero]

IMHO please take your kids to this special planned trip. Dad going away is hard enuff but after family planning a trip and then taking away that anticipation would be an extra blow. When my hubby went 1500 miles away for work every week (ok not to "war" but still tough here if you read my siggy) at 1st kids were scared and didn't even want to go to b-day parties w/out him. Dad phoned every night at supper time. After 2 weeks he was surprised, even angry that they often weren't here. Friends and playing had come back into their lives. As soon as his special project was over and he came home we planned a trip to the House of the Mouse as a family. Great way for us to re-bond as a family :grouphug:

[Boncho]

My father was in the army for over 30 years and sometimes being away for a year at a time I know how you are feeling. Not knowing why your husband wants you to cancel the trip makes an answer to your question a little difficult. What I do know is that my mother had 5 children to look after all by herself and when my father was away, we continued to do all the things we would have done if my father was home. You are going to miss your husband a great deal and cancelling your trip would be like hitting your kids with a double whammy - no dad, no vacation. I go to Disney without my husband (just me and my son-Dad's not into Disney) and I don't think you should have any problems going alone with two children. Talk to your husband and try to find a compromise you all can live with. I would still go;it would do wonders for you and the kids while Dad is gone - you are not used to him being away and one thing is for sure, Disney is the one thing that can always lift a persons' spirits. You can always go again with Dad when he gets home. Good luck in your decision.

[lovesmurfs]

I really appreciate everyone's insights, and never realized when I signed up for the DisBoards that I'd have a support network like this (the training "team" he's on is put together from various people in the state, and so the family network for this group basically doesn't exist -- although I think they're planning on some activities).

I spoke at length with DH and the kids. DD7 wants to go, full steam ahead (go figure). DS12 knows that DD7 wants to go (and himself wants to go), but said that we should wait until he gets back. DH (who grew up and worked at Disney) has reconsidered and said we really should go (as long as we promise pictures). So I'm going to cut back on the events (cancel the CP package, HDDR and the Luau), make the whole thing more low-key, and plan to do them for the next trip. I'll probably plan on more CS meals as well (I'd planned to bring lunch everyday).

I think I'll wait on the decision to extend through Christmas until after he goes -- we'll see how things go (and what my in-laws wind up thinking about us going.....LOL).

Thanks again, everyone. I think it was mostly shock yesterday (ya know it's coming, but.....).

[gayles]

My son is a US MARINE & plans always change---- I say go ------- You might even be a Lucky winner of a DW Trip or Cruise with the Million Dream's - Then how sweet will that be to go on another trip with your husband . Also when he gets back can he qualify for SOG ..
P> S> Send lots of care packages ,my son was in Iraq. Him & all his friends loved them .... :wizard: princess:

[mickeyfan2]

I would suggest you do a simple trip and all the "planned stuff" should be put on hold until he returns.

[Brise Nannie]

I would leave the plans as they are and make the trip with the kids. I think it would be a good thing for the family and keep young minds busy so they don't miss their dad so much. It'll kinda ease the pain a bit, don't ya think? The 'up' part of the situation is you can plan another trip with DH when he returns home. :thumbsup2

[aclass]

Any chance you could go in the next couple of weeks before he deploys? If not, keep the ressies and go in Dec.

[pixiemagic30]

I know that this is a little different, but in May we had our Disney vacation planned and were packing the car to leave at noon. At 9-930am that morning, I got word that DH grandmother just died! What were we to do? It was a very difficult decision, but we decided -- no, my husband decided -- that we were going to go on with our plans. Yes, we could have changed our plans, but chose not to. Why? 1. DH and his mom knew that his grandma would have had a fit if we had changed our plans. 2. This would have been the DC 7th funeral in 6 years. . .

Some people may have a fit when they realize that we missed/skipped the services, but it was the best thing for our family. While on our trip, there were little moments that reinforced our decision: 1. Driving down, we saw a beautiful double rainbow. . . 2. My DH has many memories of camping and fishing with his grandparents and the day of the services, he was out on the water fishing while we were camping. . .

All of this is to say that I truly feel that you should go on with your plans. I love yur idea of saving the special activities for another trip. Disney can be such a wonderful time for you and your children to spend some quality time together.

Blessings,

[Boncho]

I really appreciate everyone's insights, and never realized when I signed up for the DisBoards that I'd have a support network like this (the training "team" he's on is put together from various people in the state, and so the family network for this group basically doesn't exist -- although I think they're planning on some activities).

I spoke at length with DH and the kids. DD7 wants to go, full steam ahead (go figure). DS12 knows that DD7 wants to go (and himself wants to go), but said that we should wait until he gets back. DH (who grew up and worked at Disney) has reconsidered and said we really should go (as long as we promise pictures). So I'm going to cut back on the events (cancel the CP package, HDDR and the Luau), make the whole thing more low-key, and plan to do them for the next trip. I'll probably plan on more CS meals as well (I'd planned to bring lunch everyday).

I think I'll wait on the decision to extend through Christmas until after he goes -- we'll see how things go (and what my in-laws wind up thinking about us going.....LOL).

Thanks again, everyone. I think it was mostly shock yesterday (ya know it's coming, but.....).
I'm glad it's all worked out. Have a good time, take lots of pictures,maybe even a couple of postcards to Dad while you're there would be nice.
:goodvibes

[phantom728]

I agree with other posters that you should go :Pinkbounc . My DH is fulltime national guard, so life changes for us several weeks per year (sometimes more) and it still moves on even when we don't want it to. Once your DH finds out about returning home, you can start planning the "family" trip, which he will enjoy, especially after being away from you and the kids.

Please know that our thoughts and prayers are with your DH for his brave service to our country and also to your family for supporting him during this tour of duty :)

[KATHINOWA]

I'm happy to hear you're going. Your husband will be missed, but think of all the things you'll see and say "wait 'til Dad sees that next time we come."

[WI_DisneyFan]

I can see that you already made your decision, but I thought I would just throw in my two cents to reinforce your decision to carry on with the trip. My wife's brother is a medical tech in the Army Reserve. He was deployed to Afghanistan a couple years ago, and the one thing he made me promise him was that I kept his sister busy. He wanted to make sure she didn't just sit around and worry about him for a year. So I think this trip will go a long ways in helping you and your kids unwind and "de-stress" a little bit. And I love the idea of having a toned down trip. Save all of the really big stuff for when your husband gets back. I hope you have a great time!

[DisneyFairy19]

I will pray for your husband and the other men and women in the service and their families.. As to them I look up with so much respect..
I say to go and try to make the best of it with your kids

[byoung]

I also say still go.

[carrie s]

Have a great trip. I'll be praying for your husband.

[allaboutmm]

I asked my DH what he thought ( Gulf War veteran )....it's a catch 22, part of you doesn't want them to go b/c you want to be part of that family memory, but the other part of you wants them to go, after the reality of the deployment has really sets in, a trip might be a good way to feel some happiness. Whatever your family chooses, know that they are in our thoughts. :sunny:

[mommyesq]

From the point of view of an ex-serviceman, I may be able to shed a little light on his reasons for wanting to postpone this trip. I was in the Army for the years leading up to and through the first Gulf War. I traveled all over the world in numerious deployments in one of the busiest divisions around. Although most of them were for training, it still ment a good deal of time away from my wife, and our newly born son. (2 weeks after his birth I was deployed for 3 weeks.)

When serving this great nation and it's way of life, the brave men and women of our military miss so much of what the normal family takes for granted in their everyday lives. Birthdays, first steps, Valentine's days; They all slip quietly by. A family vacation to Walt Disney World woud definately be a hard thing for a father to miss. Just as takeing the vacation might be a way of preserving some sense of normalicy in the rest of the family's lives through this difficult seperation.

Either way, it isn't going to be an easy decission, and I don't envy you for having to make it. But I do want to pass on my heartfelt appreciation for the hardships of your family's service to our country, and best wishes for your husband's speedy and safe return.


THis was my thought to - he is already going to miss alot while he is gone and maybe he does not want to miss the experience of what my be a once in a lifetime family trip...I would sit down as a family with the kids and discuss the best course of action for everyone - leave the guilt at the door if the kids still want to go and make sure if you do haul the video camera so you can make your husband a part of the experience

[6mouskateers]

with my 0.02...

I say go and don't change a thing. Why would you want to miss all the Christmas things like the CP etc? I understand that he will be missing you all, and you him, but really why the need to tone it down?

DH was ADAF for 20 years (we were married for 18 of it-he retired almost 2 years ago ) and had many deplyments long and short. He always said the best way for him to stay focused on his mission was knowing that we were fine and maintaining normalcy. Our 4 kids and I did so many things without him, because really we never knew when he would be back or when he would leave again. If you keep life normal with grace and fortitude (which it sounds like you are doing a great job!) your kids will learn to do the same. I can proudly say our kids have weathered deployments, serious illness and emergencies, and also the JOYS of life with and without dad home, and remarkably well.

A really fun thing to do would be to have the kids keep journals of the trip or make scrapbooks with tons of pictures or something like that to send DH so he can see the trip through their eyes. They can also help plan your post-deployment trip! Let them keep track of what dad would like to do,eat, see etc. It's a great way to keep dad in their thoughts and channels lots of energy into something very positive. Trip planning also makes the time go by (at least for us) I really understand what you are going through, especially with a 12 year old.

And don't worry about what the in-laws think!!!! You and DH need to do what YOU feel is best for your family, not the in-laws. I would be quite tempted to extend for Christmas!

Please feel free to PM if you want. Meanwhile, I wish you all the best. Thank you to entire family for your sacrifice for our great nation.

pixiedust: pixiedust: pixiedust: pixiedust: pixiedust: pixiedust: pixiedust:

[lovesmurfs]

with my 0.02...

I say go and don't change a thing. ...

And don't worry about what the in-laws think!!!! You and DH need to do what YOU feel is best for your family, not the in-laws. I would be quite tempted to extend for Christmas!

Thanks so much! The CP (at LeCellier....) was really for DH (he's a music professor in real life), and the HDDR and Luau were really family activities -- there's no emotion with my kids when we talked about that (and it will give me more park flexibility with the kids). We are going to the MVMCP (with hope that Disney will actually respond to my email about the possibility of returning DH's ticket....). The kids will have a great time, and yet when DH returns and we go (hopefully) in December 2008, the kids won't be completely "been there, done that". Next trip, we'll plan to stay on property (versus our house rental), and take advantages of the onsite stay.

I also appreciate your insights. The vultures are hovering over this "extra" space on our trip, and I feel quite like the momma bear protecting her cubs. To her credit, DMIL is really great (we get along well in small doses) and will be helping out with kid sitting when I have to travel for my job (she lives 4 hours away).

My parents are trying to pressure the kids and me into going to NJ for Thanksgiving (with the WDW trip 2 weeks or so from then). Money's not the problem (PTL) but I don't want to disrupt the kids' lives any more than they will be, and so I declined and invited THEM to visit.

I'm being firm with all of the "well-wishers". When this is all over, I'll write an article on what NOT to say when you find out someone's being deployed.

[MariaEllerºoº]

Okay. We've just received word today that my husband's being deployed to Afghanistan, most likely the end of October. He's been in the National Guard 26 years and this is his first deployment. I'm okay with it -- we're promised strength and grace for the hour.

On to Disney...... Our trip is planned (and really PLANNED, down to the GF Perfectly Princess Tea, Candlelight Processional Package, HDDR, Luau, and MVMCP tickets) for December 14-23 (for us and DS12 and DD7), and we've all been psyched. He's saying I should cancel, as nearly everything's refundable (except tickets, which don't expire, and the deposit on the rental villa). The deployment's likely to be for 18 months (we haven't gotten the orders yet).

WWYD? :confused3 I don't mind taking the kids on my own at all. I'm just looking for different points of view on it. I would not consider bringing someone else along as a substitute -- we'd cancel all of his stuff and it would just be the three of us. A thought had crossed my addled brain to even try to extend our stay over Christmas so that we won't be by ourselves.


My hubby was deployed to Iraq for a year. If your children, especially the 7 year old, is anything like my son or like the other children of my hubby's unit of that same age group she's going to have a really hard time with the deployment...from sleepless nights, falling grades, crying, moodiness, nightmares, etc...I would definitely take the kids to Disney while your hubby is gone. They're going to need something special for just them during the deployment. I would however switch your ressies from the rental villa to a resort on property. It would make things a lot easier on you transportation wise.

I'll keep your hubby and the family in my prayers.

[6mouskateers]

The vultures are hovering over this "extra" space on our trip, and I feel quite like the momma bear protecting her cubs.

My parents are trying to pressure the kids and me into going to NJ for Thanksgiving (with the WDW trip 2 weeks or so from then). Money's not the problem (PTL) but I don't want to disrupt the kids' lives any more than they will be, and so I declined and invited THEM to visit.

I'm being firm with all of the "well-wishers". When this is all over, I'll write an article on what NOT to say when you find out someone's being deployed.

AMEN! :rotfl: Isn't it amazing what comes out of some of them? I know my folks and in-laws love us, but holy cow! I can just imagine some of your conversations! I have probably had the same ones. :rolleyes2

Sounds like you have "the big picture" . Good for you. Whatever you decide, have fun with the kids. You will all need it. I'll be thinking about you.

Where in NJ are your folks? My folks are there also (at least part of the year). We made that trek a couple of times just to shut everyone up. Mostly, I did what I wanted. I'm a baaaaaad girl. (that's why DH loves me :rotfl: )

Best wishes!

[lovesmurfs]

AMEN! :rotfl: Isn't it amazing what comes out of some of them? I know my folks and in-laws love us, but holy cow! I can just imagine some of your conversations! I have probably had the same ones. :rolleyes2

Sounds like you have "the big picture" . Good for you. Whatever you decide, have fun with the kids. You will all need it. I'll be thinking about you.

Where in NJ are your folks? My folks are there also (at least part of the year). We made that trek a couple of times just to shut everyone up. Mostly, I did what I wanted. I'm a baaaaaad girl. (that's why DH loves me :rotfl: )

Best wishes!

Thanks for the :rotfl2: moment. I grew up in Central Jersey (Somerville) -- now they're in Bridgewater. Back for vists -- it's enough. Short spurts are better. Thanks again for the support. :goodvibes

[luvmikids]

I apologize if it has already been suggested..... Have you checked into changing your plans before he leaves? I am sure disney and the airlines would understand especially if you have something in writing. My prayers are with you and your family and for his departure. My best friends husband also got deployed there 2 months ago for an 18 month tour. He is in the Army Reserves (15 years). Good luck

[lovesmurfs]

I apologize if it has already been suggested..... Have you checked into changing your plans before he leaves? I am sure disney and the airlines would understand especially if you have something in writing. My prayers are with you and your family and for his departure. My best friends husband also got deployed there 2 months ago for an 18 month tour. He is in the Army Reserves (15 years). Good luck

Thanks, but there's no way at all. We've got less than a month to get everything together.

If we went, we wouldn't be having fun, just thinking about what we should be doing back home. My husband's a music professor at a local college, and needs to help find replacements for his ensembles, etc. It's amazing all of the little things that need to be put into place (doctor's/dentist appointments, etc.) before he leaves.

[luvhockey]

My brother in law is in the military stationed in Iraq since last Jan. Whenever my family (DH me DS 7 & DS 4) go on outings/trips/get togethers with my sister, niece & nephew we take along flat Jeff (b-i-l).

We drew, colored and laminated (about 5x7) a picture. We take him along and take pictures of 'him' with us. Eating his favorite biscuits & gravy when camping, his 10th anniversary party etc. We send the pictures to him and he knows we're thinking of him while doing these activities.

You could make a flat dad and take pictures of him on rides, eating with the family, sleeping etc. My oldest son and niece made flat pictures of themselves and sent them to iraq. He took pictures of them eating at the mess hall, sitting on tanks etc.

It all stems from the book/website Flat Stanley. If you'd like more info or pictures of some things we've done PM me and I'll explain more. It has really helped the kids cope and not feel bad about doing things without dad/uncle.

Angela/luvhockey

[DBC]

Since he's saying you should cancel I would honor his wishes. Just my opinion of course.

Whatever you decide, thanks to him (and you) and I hope he stays safe and can go with you in the not too distant future.

[JPN4265]

I am sure that your husband would want you to go. He will get as much enjoyment out of hearing about the trip as you will by going.

Tell your husband thankyou. :thumbsup2

[6mouskateers]

My brother in law is in the military stationed in Iraq since last Jan. Whenever my family (DH me DS 7 & DS 4) go on outings/trips/get togethers with my sister, niece & nephew we take along flat Jeff (b-i-l).
Angela/luvhockey

Oh I am soooo loving this idea! I wish I had thought of this for all those years that we did so much without DH!!!!! (He is one to appreciate the humor and sentiment of this also.)

Lovesmurfs-would love to know if you do this! Hope all is going well for you guys.

[MousekaMaddi]

:3dglasses Thanx to your DH for what he does for us all :cheer2:

[PaulaSue]

Go and have a great time!

Send him a lot of pixs of where he (All of you) is going as soon as he gets home. Safe trip for him too!!!

[fan_of_small_world]

I just want to wish you a wonderful trip and to let you know that our thoughts and prayers are with you for the 18 months to come. Enjoy your time at WDW with your little ones, and please know that there are many, many of us who support and appreciate all that our servicemen, servicewomen, and their families do for our country.
pixiedust: pixiedust: pixiedust:

[cybrkitn]

From the point of view of an ex-serviceman, I may be able to shed a little light on his reasons for wanting to postpone this trip. I was in the Army for the years leading up to and through the first Gulf War. I traveled all over the world in numerious deployments in one of the busiest divisions around. Although most of them were for training, it still ment a good deal of time away from my wife, and our newly born son. (2 weeks after his birth I was deployed for 3 weeks.)

When serving this great nation and it's way of life, the brave men and women of our military miss so much of what the normal family takes for granted in their everyday lives. Birthdays, first steps, Valentine's days; They all slip quietly by. A family vacation to Walt Disney World woud definately be a hard thing for a father to miss. Just as takeing the vacation might be a way of preserving some sense of normalicy in the rest of the family's lives through this difficult seperation.

Either way, it isn't going to be an easy decission, and I don't envy you for having to make it. But I do want to pass on my heartfelt appreciation for the hardships of your family's service to our country, and best wishes for your husband's speedy and safe return.

First let me say thank you to you for your service. My cousin Jason also served in the first Gulf War as well.

I definately agree with what you had posted. My cousin Susan's husband was called to back to Iraq when their second son was only 3 months old (last year). He missed out on so much of the "firsts". The last time he was home for R&R, they went to Disney World and enjoyed their time together.

She is pregnant again and due next month. He just came home last weekend for a while and hopefully will be able to see his third child born and see all the "firsts".

[cybrkitn]

I really appreciate everyone's insights, and never realized when I signed up for the DisBoards that I'd have a support network like this (the training "team" he's on is put together from various people in the state, and so the family network for this group basically doesn't exist -- although I think they're planning on some activities).

I spoke at length with DH and the kids. DD7 wants to go, full steam ahead (go figure). DS12 knows that DD7 wants to go (and himself wants to go), but said that we should wait until he gets back. DH (who grew up and worked at Disney) has reconsidered and said we really should go (as long as we promise pictures). So I'm going to cut back on the events (cancel the CP package, HDDR and the Luau), make the whole thing more low-key, and plan to do them for the next trip. I'll probably plan on more CS meals as well (I'd planned to bring lunch everyday).

I think I'll wait on the decision to extend through Christmas until after he goes -- we'll see how things go (and what my in-laws wind up thinking about us going.....LOL).

Thanks again, everyone. I think it was mostly shock yesterday (ya know it's coming, but.....).

Glad to hear of your decision. I know it was a very hard one to make.

YSIC

[cybrkitn]

I know that this is a little different, but in May we had our Disney vacation planned and were packing the car to leave at noon. At 9-930am that morning, I got word that DH grandmother just died! What were we to do? It was a very difficult decision, but we decided -- no, my husband decided -- that we were going to go on with our plans. Yes, we could have changed our plans, but chose not to. Why? 1. DH and his mom knew that his grandma would have had a fit if we had changed our plans. 2. This would have been the DC 7th funeral in 6 years. . .

Some people may have a fit when they realize that we missed/skipped the services, but it was the best thing for our family. While on our trip, there were little moments that reinforced our decision: 1. Driving down, we saw a beautiful double rainbow. . . 2. My DH has many memories of camping and fishing with his grandparents and the day of the services, he was out on the water fishing while we were camping. . .

All of this is to say that I truly feel that you should go on with your plans. I love yur idea of saving the special activities for another trip. Disney can be such a wonderful time for you and your children to spend some quality time together.

Blessings,

I understand that. My DH and I took our DS4 to VA to see our Sister-in-Law who had terminal cancer back in March. It was a "visit the family" trip before heading to DC for my DH's business conference that he was speaking at.

While we were down there, I got word that my uncle had died. Unfortunately, we couldn't get back to NY for the funeral because it was on
the same day that my DH was speaking at the conference. I did call my aunt though to tell her how sorry I was to hear. She understood why we couldn't get back. And I'm actually glad we didn't drive back to NY because that time we spent with our Sister-in-Law and DH's brother was the last time we had together. She passed away in April at age 54.

Cherish that double rainbow you had seen. I lost my grandmother back in 96. She lived in a trailer in up-state NY across from my aunt and uncle. The day of her funeral, there was a rainbow that extended from her trailer down the mountain to the trailer park she used to live in. We also got a double rainbow that day as well. It was very special to see.

[themudd4]

Go and use this as a bonding time for you and your kids...you may need/want this and never get another chance at it. Hopefully your DH will understand that you are going to miss him, but that it is important to try and carry on life as close to normal as possible...and nothing is normal about missing out on WDW.

[DisneyCowgirl]

I see you have already gotten a ton of responses and maybe you are not even reading them anymore, but I wanted to throw in my opinion (which probably ought to count very little anyway).

If this vacation is one that you have saved and saved for and could not be done again as an entire family once your husband gets home, I would definitely consider rescheduling for when he is back. Otherwise, I feel strongly that you should not put life on hold while he is gone. Your children need to continue as normally as possible.

In the end though, it is YOUR family and you will know what is right.

And tell your husband THANK YOU!!!

[lovesmurfs]

I see you have already gotten a ton of responses and maybe you are not even reading them anymore, but I wanted to throw in my opinion (which probably ought to count very little anyway).

If this vacation is one that you have saved and saved for and could not be done again as an entire family once your husband gets home, I would definitely consider rescheduling for when he is back. Otherwise, I feel strongly that you should not put life on hold while he is gone. Your children need to continue as normally as possible.

In the end though, it is YOUR family and you will know what is right.

And tell your husband THANK YOU!!!

Still reading. Thanks. Originally (when planning started in June) when I booked a villa, the kids were bummed because they wanted to stay on site. Our next trip when he returns, we'll plan to stay on site, get the food package, and plan the HDDR, etc. This time, we'll be laid back with no plans for having to be anywhere or do anything (except get to SOME park when it opens).

The only special event I couldn't bring myself to cancel is the Perfectly Princess Tea at the GF with my daughter (DH and DS weren't going anyway) -- as a 7 year old, she'll enjoy it much more now than as a 9-year old. And my DS is excited to hang out at DisneyQuest (we have PH and WP options) by himself until we finish.

Thanks again to all. We still haven't received the orders, but it looks like he'll be leaving November 9.

[NurseW2Kiddies]

Have an extra special trip and enjoy some quality mommy time with your kids!!!

[lovesmurfs]

Have an extra special trip and enjoy some quality mommy time with your kids!!!

Thanks...we will! The orders have been received for November 21 as the MOB date. Col. is trying to get them to delay them until after Thanksgiving. Disney was great in giving us a refund for his MVMCP ticket -- they didn't even ask for a copy of his orders.

We're taking advice of one of the posters here and taking along a picture of "flat dad" so that we can have it taken with the characters, etc. The kids LOVED the idea. I also plan to take "him" on Tower of Terror, 'cuz that's the only way he'd ever go on it!! :rotfl:

[pepperw23]

Okay. We've just received word today that my husband's being deployed to Afghanistan, most likely the end of October. He's been in the National Guard 26 years and this is his first deployment. I'm okay with it -- we're promised strength and grace for the hour.

On to Disney...... Our trip is planned (and really PLANNED, down to the GF Perfectly Princess Tea, Candlelight Processional Package, HDDR, Luau, and MVMCP tickets) for December 14-23 (for us and DS12 and DD7), and we've all been psyched. He's saying I should cancel, as nearly everything's refundable (except tickets, which don't expire, and the deposit on the rental villa). The deployment's likely to be for 18 months (we haven't gotten the orders yet).

WWYD? :confused3 I don't mind taking the kids on my own at all. I'm just looking for different points of view on it. I would not consider bringing someone else along as a substitute -- we'd cancel all of his stuff and it would just be the three of us. A thought had crossed my addled brain to even try to extend our stay over Christmas so that we won't be by ourselves.

I would not cancel it, but I would probably reschedule it to give hubby something to look forward to. Maybe you and the kids can do something else that week to make up for it? If you really really had your heart set on it, and you can afford to, why not take a short trip over Christmas, like Dec 23-26, then plan a big trip for when DH gets home. Then you would have two things to look forward to. Just some ideas.

[eblack0409]

As for my opinion...I think it would be a great idea to go ahead with the trip. If you cancel the trip your kids will have two letdowns instead of one(not going to Disney and dad being gone). I'm sure they are looking forward to the trip. If they don't get to go they will be disappointed for not getting to go and for their dad being gone as well. Maybe going on the trip might get their minds off missing pops. Have you asked the kids their opinion on the matter?

I agree.....the holidays without their father is going to be hard enough...if you can extend your trip to cover Christmas, then I would definately do it...maybe this will give your kids some happy memories for this year...

I would definately plan a trip when your hubby gets back....

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers....please tell your husband Thank You from my family....it's because of men like him we are able to be free!

God Bless our Troops!!!

[ktnlxismom]

I asked my husband, who is a veteran of the 1st gulf war, this question. He said if it were him, he would want us to go as planned. He would be happy knowing that we were having fun and were able to take our minds off of him, even for a little while. Of course, he would want lots of pictures and/or video and to plan another trip when he got home. Hope that helps.

[luvhockey]

If you'd like to see a few pictures to get an idea what we've done just email me. I can't add pictures here yet. It will be something fun the kids can do while there-- get CM's to take pictures before the ride takes off, feed dad, swim (if it's laminated) etc. Maybe make an extra one that looks terrified just for the tower of terror!
Angela

[PaMom001]

Nice idea with the flat dad. If you can, start planning a trip for when DH comes home. That way everyone can look forward to a WDW trip.

[drakethib]

If I were your husband I would want my family to go.

[the john]

I would still go.

[TmJ98]

I would still go.
hey sorry to interuppt this board subject but has any one played vmk virtiul magic kingdom if you ohave i need big time help.

[DisneyBlonde]

I'm glad you decided to go. Maybe you can begin to plan a follow up trip for when your husband returns. Planning it together will make the 18 months fly by for everyone.

A big thanks to your husband for protecting our freedom. :thumbsup2

[kimis]

I say you need to go for your childrens' sake. They will be so upset about their dad leaving they will need a distraction. It won't be the same as if all of you were there and you will miss your dh but you will still make great memories with your children. I recently lost my mother and was seriously considering cancelling our trip but I didn't. It did open my eyes as too how many people go to WDW that had recently went through some bad memories. WDW is the one place (maybe) where we can put our saddness on hold for a few days. Go and ENJOY!

[MomPOM]

I'm new here so coming into this thread late. It sounds like you decided to go and I'm so glad. The kids will really need it and you will too. I think you should definitely try and plan a trip when he returns. Maybe make it a surprise.

["Cinder" Ella's Mom]

I would say go. Your kids and you will need it. Maybe you could scale down the trip and then take a return trip in two years and do some of the other things (tea party, etc.) when Dad can be there. I'll be thinking about you!

[lovesmurfs]

Thanks so much, everyone. We're definitely going -- but I've thrown the touring plans out the window..... We'll get to whatever park whenever we want to and have 10 days to do whatever we want.

We've cancelled the bigger things, except for the Perfectly Princess Tea and the MVMCP (we were able to get a refund on DH's MVMCP ticket). By the time DH gets back, I'm afraid some of the magic would be gone from the tea, and at age 7, I think the timing's right now (and he hadn't planned to go to it anyway...he had mentioned wild horses having to drag him to it or something).

Thanks again for the support. I'm having some challenges now dealing with the way the Army's doing things. They're activated November 18, given a pass for Thanksgiving (found this out after I made flight arrangements to go to NC to my brother's for T-giving -- were able to get a reasonably priced ticket for DH, though).

Then he goes to KS for 3 weeks, then back December 22-January 1 for the Christmas break. We're back December 23 (we offered to come back early, but he's looking forward to time to himself). His mom and sister are coming the day after Christmas until he leaves. What a zoo.

Sounds awful, but it would have been much easier on everyone if they'd either sent him for good or kept him here until after the holidays. Then the Army sends us to a mandatory "marriage enrichment seminar" this weekend. DH says I'm not approaching it with the "right" attitude. Sigh.

[SusanMomOf2]

My husband has been in Iraq since September, and me and my two daughters are going BECAUSE of the deployment so we can have ourselves a happy time. If you're up to it, then I think it's would be a WONDERFUL bonding experience for you and your 2 kids. My daughters are 6 and almost 2, and while it may limit us on the rides we go on, it will be such a pleasure to get that one-on-one quality time with them and let them lead the way through Disney World. (A tip: one day I'm using the Mother's Helper service offered by Kids Nite Out, and this individual will escort me around and watch over my little one while me and my older daughter ride Splash and Space Mountain. I had to figure out a lot of things such as this, but it's been a fun discovery, and our vacation looks like it's only going to have 1 thing missing: Daddy. Everything else is a GO!)

Good luck with the separation, and if you need any help, I'm here for you! The deployment scared me and had me ready to give up everything just to have my husband by my side. But, here I am as happy as can be by the grace of God, and there's so much I'm thankful for. Message me if you wanna talk.

[lovesmurfs]

My husband has been in Iraq since September, and me and my two daughters are going BECAUSE of the deployment so we can have ourselves a happy time. If you're up to it, then I think it's would be a WONDERFUL bonding experience for you and your 2 kids. My daughters are 6 and almost 2, and while it may limit us on the rides we go on, it will be such a pleasure to get that one-on-one quality time with them and let them lead the way through Disney World. (A tip: one day I'm using the Mother's Helper service offered by Kids Nite Out, and this individual will escort me around and watch over my little one while me and my older daughter ride Splash and Space Mountain. I had to figure out a lot of things such as this, but it's been a fun discovery, and our vacation looks like it's only going to have 1 thing missing: Daddy. Everything else is a GO!)

Good luck with the separation, and if you need any help, I'm here for you! The deployment scared me and had me ready to give up everything just to have my husband by my side. But, here I am as happy as can be by the grace of God, and there's so much I'm thankful for. Message me if you wanna talk.

Thanks so much. I may do that! Best wishes as you continue your separation as well.

[marianas00]

Enjoy the trip with your family. Start planning now for when your husband returns. In case you don't know, your family is eligible for Shades of Green, the military property at Disney World. Go ahead and plan to reunite there as the cost savings for active duty military, guard,reservists, and DOD civilians is awesome.
Take care,
Former military wife Marie

[MissyDVC]

First of all, let me say "thank you" to your DH and to you and your family for the sacrifices you make for all of us. :thumbsup2

I am glad you decided to go. And when he returns, you can have a Disney trip celebrating his homecoming.

Hope you have a wonderfully magically trip and a safe return for your DH :wizard:

[SplshMtnLvr28]

I would still go. It would get it off your kid's minds that Dad is gone, so they won't be sad sitting at home.

[eliza61]

God bless and good luck to your family. I would still go just maybe save some of the special stuff like the tea party, luau etc for when Dad could come along.