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meloneyb21
07-11-2006, 05:40 PM
I was just watching Dr. Phil and it made me so mad......The husband has 2 jobs and the wife is a SAHM. He told her to quit work and stay home and take care of the kids, yet he won't give her any spending money.

He:
1. Makes her account for every $ spent down to a pack of chewing gum.
2. Looks over the grocery list and erases anything he thinks is unneccessary.
3. Threatened to cut off cable, internet, phone, and ATM card when she went to WalMart to buy an .84 pack of gum.
4. Says that she should ask before she buys a big purchase of $5 or $10 or more.
5. Only gives her money for food and toiletries.

She says that he didn't even pay for their dinner on the first date, but she thought nothing about it at the time. He doesn't provide money for clothes, toys or gas and she still wears her maternity clothes because she can't go clothes shopping. She feels as though that he financially "cheats" on her because she finds receipts of his from Starbucks, and he bought $100 worth of computer stuff when the kids needed clothes. He also goes to lunch and a movie alone so he doesn't have to pay for her or anybody else. He said that since HE provides, HE gets the priviledges....how selfish! :sad2:

To make matters worse, he leaves for the military in a few days from that show and because he kept her so in the dark about money, she has no idea what to do or how she's gonna support herself and the kids while he's away. She gets child support from her ex-husband but that's only enough to cover the things that he said he wouldn't buy for her......What the h*ll is she gonna do? It made me so mad to see this man treat her that way.

I'm a SAHM but my DH wouldn't DARE :furious: .....

I see every penny that comes in this house and I have ALL bank cards and whatnot to make sure that everything is paid and that WE are taken care of. Sometimes us women have to cover our own a$$ no matter what. SAHM or whatever you do.......

tinker&belle
07-11-2006, 05:53 PM
I have a friend with a husband like that, but not nearly as bad. He gives her 'grocery money,' and she can use what is left on her needs (there is usually VERY little left if any.) He get mad if she goes over on groceries, or if the produce price is higher this month.

dizagain
07-11-2006, 05:54 PM
Wow. I am a sahm with child #3 arriving soon. I have worked part-time teaching most of the time until this year so I had my own paychecks plus DH's to handle. I have always stayed on top of the $ - what there is of it, anyway! If I didn't, we'd be in big trouble and DH is the first to admit it. I am the one always trying to save, cut back, etc. I can't imagine DH "telling" me what I can and cannot do with finances or anything else for that matter. We discuss things and usually it all works out! The one thing we don't always agree on is my method of saving for one vacation a year...DH often wants to dip into that $ and wonders why we need a vacation in the first place. Then, after the trip, he's all happy we did it and thankful that I saved up for it. I feel for that woman, but I wonder how she got herself into such a situation? :confused3

pearlieq
07-11-2006, 05:58 PM
Ugh! I'll never understand why women let that happen! It's just so dangerous, not to mention degrading.

DH and I are equal parties in our money decisions, though I'm more "in charge" on a day to day basis, mostly because I like it and I'm pretty savvy. I would never want to be with a man who thought in terms of "my money and your money". Everything here is "our money".

pweyl36
07-11-2006, 06:08 PM
Well the only person that she should blame is her self if she lets her husband treat her that way.it sounds like she new how he was when they were dating.
oh,by the way I am in control of our money. :thumbsup2

bettyann29
07-11-2006, 06:30 PM
Wow I cant imagine living like that.. Im not a SAHM but there is no way I would be with someone who treated me that way..

As far as bill paying, I guess I would be in charge, but its OUR money as we both work and bring the money home..

PaulaSue
07-11-2006, 06:31 PM
He:
1. Makes her account for every $ spent down to a pack of chewing gum.
2. Looks over the grocery list and erases anything he thinks is unneccessary.
3. Threatened to cut off cable, internet, phone, and ATM card when she went to WalMart to buy an .84 pack of gum.
4. Says that she should ask before she buys a big purchase of $5 or $10 or more.
5. Only gives her money for food and toiletries.


Darn I missed it. I hope Dr. Phil ripped him a new one. :rolleyes:

jennifer293
07-11-2006, 06:40 PM
I too hope Dr. Phil ripped him a new HOLE!!!

I would say I am in control of the funds and yes, I am a SAHM. I pay all the bills and when money gets low I let him know so he knows that "no spending" is allowed until he is paid again. :thumbsup2

EthansMom
07-11-2006, 06:56 PM
I'm a SAHM. Although DH and I make major money decisions together, I make the majority of the money decisions on a day-to-day basis. I pay the bills, do most shopping, and have control over all of our investments.

barbeml
07-11-2006, 07:20 PM
I didn't see the show, but that couple's problems have nothing to do with money. Money is just a tool he uses to control her, and she can only blame herself for allowing it. I hope Dr. Phil gave it to him good...he's been going soft lately.

DH and I have the same money style. I keep the check book and pay the bills, he keeps the Quicken records. We make decisions on investments and major purchases jointly, but everything else is at our discretion.

marcyinPA
07-11-2006, 07:38 PM
I would say I am in control of the funds and yes, I am a SAHM. I pay all the bills and when money gets low I let him know so he knows that "no spending" is allowed until he is paid again. :thumbsup2
LOL,That's exactly how things work here too! Only difference is starting in September, I'll no longer be a SAHM after 11 years! I'll be teaching pre-school part time. But, I'll still be in charge of the $$...He makes it, I handle it. It's been that way since we got married. It works for us (I'm better with money than he is!)

Marcy

Kellydelly
07-11-2006, 07:43 PM
My husband and I both have whatever access to our money we want/need. I'm a SAHM and am happily married to a man that doesn't control me or the finances!

Laurajean1014
07-11-2006, 07:45 PM
Poor men want to be rich
Rich men wanna be King
But a King ain't satisfied
Till he rules everything.....

Me! :teeth:

disneysnowflake
07-11-2006, 07:51 PM
We're big savers.

DH works too much overtime. I work part time.

No one is in control over the money. It's direct deposited each week. We have a set amount our for each of us as spending money. When that spending money is gone you don't spend any more. We know what bills need paid. We've just never had a problem with control in my marriage, and we'll be married 19 years soon.

I so could NOT be married to someone like that jerk on Dr. Phil. I didn't even know him, but I wanted to smack him.

liamandcaili
07-11-2006, 08:01 PM
There was a time when DH was in charge of the money and the bills...many years ago...and the phone got shut off because he forgot to pay the bill, not to mention the times the cable got cut off, and once the electricity. He is generally a responsible and caring husband, but I now pay the bills and control the household expenses. I am a SAHM, and there have been times when we have fought over money because DH is earning and I am not, but since I've been in charge, I have paid off almost all our debt, some of which was in really bad shape before, and no major utilities have been disconnected. He has grown to realize that my contribution to the household is just as valuable as his paycheck, so he doesn't question me too much anymore.

jenr812
07-11-2006, 08:13 PM
I too hope Dr. Phil ripped him a new HOLE!!!

I would say I am in control of the funds and yes, I am a SAHM. I pay all the bills and when money gets low I let him know so he knows that "no spending" is allowed until he is paid again. :thumbsup2
Ditto - that is exactly how it is here! I have been a SAHM for 8 years and have also been a full time nursing student for 2 years. I cannot WAIT til we double our income next year :cheer2::Pinkbounc:banana::yay::dance3:

arminnie
07-11-2006, 08:27 PM
An interesting side note:
I had about 15 women over a couple of months ago. We've all known each other since we were in high school and will all soon turn 60.

One of the women addressed the group and asked if anyone knew what their husband did with the money. Every single one of them (except the one asking) said that they knew exactly what money they had, earned, was spent, saved, etc. - i.e. they were full partners.

What was ironic is that the one who asked is really, really bossy and controlling (but we love her anyway after this many years), and she was the only one who didn't have a clue about her financial situation. They have a beautiful home and her husband is retired (she never worked outside the home).

How would you ever know if you could buy anything?

Chickysmom
07-11-2006, 08:40 PM
I didn't see the show, but that couple's problems have nothing to do with money. Money is just a tool he uses to control her, and she can only blame herself for allowing it. I hope Dr. Phil gave it to him good...he's been going soft lately.



I agree that the issues are much deeper than money here, although I did not see the show.

As far as finances in my household.....DH and I share things equally....he makes it and I spend it! LOL A shared responsibility is really easier on everyone, don't ya think! HeeHee

disykat
07-11-2006, 10:58 PM
What did Dr. Phil say?????

We have equal money access and control at our house - and it's all OUR money, despite the fact that I've been SAHM or part time now for 14 years.

branv
07-11-2006, 11:59 PM
:confused3 Ever notice alot of these couples on Dr. Phil either got married really quickly before they truly knew each other or there were DEFINITE signs of future problems but they turned a blind eye/assumed they could change them? I have sympathy for many people, but some of the couples..jeez, you just want to go, "what did you expect, he/she was a $#@ before you married them!" I guess I am just lucky that I was born with too fiesty of a disposition to live with someone who treats me with that kind of disrespect. I hope that poor lady can gird her pride and stand up for herself.

DH and I both have a hand in the finances - we don't purchase anything pricey without first consulting each other, and we both know what is going on with the finances. We both know all the passwords to accounts, both know where all the files are, and we keep a spreadsheet that we update with monthly bills due/paid. I have to say as many stupid couple things we can fuss at each other about (for the love of pete just how hard is it to put toilet paper on the holder?! :teeth: ), money is one thing we almost never argue about. I'm surprised at how seldom people I know talk about financial habits/beliefs before they get married, and have been equally saddened to see how badly mismatched financial personalities can damage a family emotionally as well as financially. :sad2:

MrsPete
07-12-2006, 12:02 AM
I didn't see the show, but that couple's problems have nothing to do with money. Money is just a tool he uses to control her, and she can only blame herself for allowing it.I didn't see the show, but we've all heard similar stories before. The women in these cases usually end up looking all pathetic and victimized, but the truth is that they have issues that go beyond money. A typical scenerio might be that the woman felt insecure and unready for adulthood, so she chose a man -- probably older -- who likes "being in charge" and who makes her feel safe . . . and together they play on one another's needs . . . for years she plays the part of the obedient little child, while he takes on the role of Big Daddy . . . then after a while she realizes that this isn't too cool, and she's given away more control than she ever intended . . . little by little he's become more and more demanding . . . but he has no problems with living up to his end of the unspoken deal they've made together.

MrsPete
07-12-2006, 12:08 AM
We both know all the passwords to accounts, both know where all the files are, and we keep a spreadsheet that we update with monthly bills due/paid.This is really important! My husband and I recently made a list of all our accounts, passwords, etc. He was the one who started the list, and it was a good idea. I can check on the computer to see how much we have in checking, 401K, etc. . . . but if something were to happen to him, I wouldn't have known exactly how to access all the various investments and life insurance. Now we have a list of "things to do in case of emergency".

It's really something everyone should do. We didn't even get it right the first time: we both remembered things that should've been included in the list. I take care of our homeowners/car insurance, and he didn't know anything much about that -- now the policy number/agent's name is on the list. He totally forgot one very small investment that he didn't have on the computer spreadsheet. So we've added to our list -- I think it's complete now.

meloneyb21
07-12-2006, 12:18 AM
This is really important! My husband and I recently made a list of all our accounts, passwords, etc. He was the one who started the list, and it was a good idea. I can check on the computer to see how much we have in checking, 401K, etc. . . . but if something were to happen to him, I wouldn't have known exactly how to access all the various investments and life insurance. Now we have a list of "things to do in case of emergency".

It's really something everyone should do. We didn't even get it right the first time: we both remembered things that should've been included in the list. I take care of our homeowners/car insurance, and he didn't know anything much about that -- now the policy number/agent's name is on the list. He totally forgot one very small investment that he didn't have on the computer spreadsheet. So we've added to our list -- I think it's complete now.

That's a great idea :thumbsup2

seven dwarfs
07-12-2006, 12:46 AM
I pay most bills in our house but the money is equal. We do not spend any money without talking about it. It is not a ask permission type talk though, just a should we can we afford type talk. The only problem we have is never enough money! I will say I am a hairdresser and meet all kinds of people and it is sad but I have clients who have husbands who control every dime in the house. I have one who makes the checks out exact. It breaks my heart to see this.

mjbaby
07-12-2006, 06:34 AM
What did Dr. Phil say?????



Yes, do tell!


In our house, my husband pays the bills on a month-to-month basis (although I'm informed about them) and I deal with investments (although he's informed about them). I don't really love his method of handling the bills, but because I don't particularly want to take over the task, I don't stress about it.

We didn't explicitly plan to have this arrangement of bills/investments, it's just turned out to be where our strengths lie.

floridahippy
07-12-2006, 06:49 AM
I have always been the one who deals with all the money in our house - DH hasnt really got a clue - everything is written down if anything should happen to me.
I dont think I could survive if I didnt have control of the money!!! I keep record of everything we spend on the pc daily and if i didnt do this i would be in a mess - so thankful for pc's!!!!
The only thing that would be nice if i was suddenly told by dh that we had a few more thousand stashed!!!

MEM
07-12-2006, 07:51 AM
At my house I am the worker bee and DH is the SAHD. He handles all the finances and we each get an equal monthly allowance. We have to get each other's permission for purchases above $25, unless it comes out of our allowance. I have access to all of our money and know exactly what we have and where it goes. Allowing him to handle the money ensures that my salary goes further.

mommiepoppins
07-12-2006, 08:03 AM
we both rule :teacher:

nbodyhome
07-12-2006, 08:30 AM
I agree that it has nothing to do with money (from what is written here). The guy sounds controlling to the point of abuse, like she is a prisoner.

He obviously has an even bigger problem if he's willing to go on Dr. Phil (if he thinks that type of behavior is okay).

I have the checkbook in our household. I am better with money. But if DH wants to look over anything, or has any input on budgeting, etc. I'd be very happy for us to go over everything together.

Chicago526
07-12-2006, 08:42 AM
While I'm the book keeper and bill payer, I'd never treat DH like what the OP posted. We both get $25 a week for "whatever" and if either of us need more for some reason, room can be found in the budget. Large purchases are discussed in advance and budgeted/saved for. I just don't understand people who treat others like that.

mickeyfan2
07-12-2006, 08:51 AM
We both make major decisions but I handle the bill paying. He knows how much they are, since I put the bills on the desk so he can see them. We each handle part of our investments but the other one is kept informed.

mlwear
07-12-2006, 09:22 AM
DH handles investments.

Other finances, regular savings and household budget are COMPLETELY up to me. DH works a lot of hours and I would never trust him to get bills paid on time and he agrees. I've offered to turn it over to him and have asked that he share responsibility, but he has no interest. Maybe once a year he will ask to see how things are going. I am sure that he has no idea what his net pay is. I am also sure that he doesn't really care. He just works, of course he is always glad to get a raise or bonus. He doesn't overspend. He buys gas and withdraws from the ATM what he needs, which isn't anything excessive, mostly money for lunch. He never tells me when he uses the debit/ATM card, I just check online every so often and record it. Neither of us, however, will make large purchases without consulting the other. This was a decision we made very early in our marriage. Sometimes I don't like that the whole financial management burden is on me. But, the whole burden of making an income is on him. I don't think financial matters will ever be simple for any family, But, DH and I have never had an argument about money and we've been married for almost 14 years.

I saw part of the Dr. Phil show,too. I have a friend whose DH was so controlling which included the money. When he went to Iraq, she had to take over most things (although with online banking, he could see what she was doing and turns out he was doing some things on his own). She learned that she could manage well without him and felt free while he was gone. She filed for divorce (as a military family member I had mixed feelings about her doing this while he was deployed, but not my business). She said now that she knew what it was like to not be controlled, she would never go back to it. She learned in the divorce that there was a HUGE nonsecured debt acquired in their marriage, she knew nothing about it.

imsayin
07-12-2006, 09:28 AM
I rule the cash in our house, but I don't control DH's spending. We consult on large purchases, otherwise, we spend what we need. Luckily we're on the same page in terms of not overspending.

DVC Sadie
07-12-2006, 09:47 AM
No one rules the cash in our house. We both have separate money to spend as we wish and then we confer with each other on the bigger expenditures. My dh is the one who physically sits to pay bills while I pay some bills online.

Our investments are also done separately but we both know what each other is doing at any given time.

ducklite
07-12-2006, 09:50 AM
I was just watching Dr. Phil and it made me so mad......The husband has 2 jobs and the wife is a SAHM. He told her to quit work and stay home and take care of the kids, yet he won't give her any spending money.......

That's an abusive reltaionship. Period.

Anne

magiroux
07-12-2006, 11:46 AM
For the life of me, I will never understand why married people want to air their personal problems on national TV. I think we have a good marraige, but we are human and there are issues that we work on. I couldn't imagine discussing them on TV.

This post reminds of the movie, Joy Luck Club, and the scene where they argue about the wife having to pay to get rid of the fleas on a cat the husband gave her as a gift, and the "ice cream" coming out of the "shared" expenses budget when she is allergic to ice cream. I have to say that whole scene kind of gave me the "willies".

In our house, I handle all the day to day stuff, bank accts, bills, etc and DH handles all stock, retirement and college investments.

RadioFanatic
07-12-2006, 11:53 AM
I was just watching Dr. Phil and it made me so mad......The husband has 2 jobs and the wife is a SAHM. He told her to quit work and stay home and take care of the kids, yet he won't give her any spending money.

He:
1. Makes her account for every $ spent down to a pack of chewing gum.
2. Looks over the grocery list and erases anything he thinks is unneccessary.
3. Threatened to cut off cable, internet, phone, and ATM card when she went to WalMart to buy an .84 pack of gum.
4. Says that she should ask before she buys a big purchase of $5 or $10 or more.
5. Only gives her money for food and toiletries.

She says that he didn't even pay for their dinner on the first date, but she thought nothing about it at the time. He doesn't provide money for clothes, toys or gas and she still wears her maternity clothes because she can't go clothes shopping. She feels as though that he financially "cheats" on her because she finds receipts of his from Starbucks, and he bought $100 worth of computer stuff when the kids needed clothes. He also goes to lunch and a movie alone so he doesn't have to pay for her or anybody else. He said that since HE provides, HE gets the priviledges....how selfish! :sad2:

To make matters worse, he leaves for the military in a few days from that show and because he kept her so in the dark about money, she has no idea what to do or how she's gonna support herself and the kids while he's away. She gets child support from her ex-husband but that's only enough to cover the things that he said he wouldn't buy for her......What the h*ll is she gonna do? It made me so mad to see this man treat her that way.

I'm a SAHM but my DH wouldn't DARE :furious: .....

I see every penny that comes in this house and I have ALL bank cards and whatnot to make sure that everything is paid and that WE are taken care of. Sometimes us women have to cover our own a$$ no matter what. SAHM or whatever you do.......

My BIL is like that loser and what kills me about it is that my DSis also works and it's because of her job that they have insurance. And he's a computer geek so he buys himself all sorts of gizmos but freaks when she wants to buy a pair of shorts (i've seen it myself). I'm worried bc DSis wants to become a SAHM and if he's like that now, I can't imagine what it will be like then! I've told him off about it sometimes but to no avail.

BTW, I control the money in our house, i.e., I do the bills, expenses, etc. My mom who also has always been a SAHM also is the money person. So we have no clue where my DSis got this acceptance from.

KelNottAt
07-12-2006, 12:31 PM
My father, paternal grandfather, maternal grandfather, and father-in-law all subscribe(d) to the same general philosophy as the husband the OP describes. Not to such an extreme, but same general idea: "I outrank you because I earn the money, I'm in charge of the money, and you should be grateful I spend some of it on you."

As a child, I watched this treatment harm my Mom and destroy my parents marriage. I vowed I would never live under those conditions when I'm married. So I don't. I feel compelled to work full-time as protection from that environment, but that's OK. (I don't fear DH would turn into one of the men I listed above. I just know dependency would make me miserable.)

Anyway, DH and I make joint decisions about where the money goes, whether savings or big purchases. I handle the monthly task of writing out the bills. I handle day-to-day purchases. DH is pretty much fine with everything I do/buy as long as we never reduce the amounts we deposit into savings and we never carry a balance on the credit card. When those 2 conditions are met he's happy b/c he feels secure and I'm happy because I have the freedom to do/buy what we need and want whenever I want.

fiveforall
07-12-2006, 12:45 PM
My EX (huge emphasis on the ex part) husband was just like the husband on the Dr. Phil show. He had so many insecurities, yet he was able to totally browbeat me into believing I was an ignorant, worthless, ugly slob not even deserving of him. Despite being educated and told that I was nice looking by others, I still believed every word he told me. He monitored all spending. I remember him yelling at me for "wasting" aluminum foil. I had covered something that could have gone in a tupperwear bowl. He would go with me on the rare occasions I bought clothes, and would complain the entire time. Yet, he had no problem buying new trucks, stereo equipment, etc. Eventually the physical and mental abuse was too much and I left him. Now I'm married to a kind CPA who asks me to handle all the finances. He happily just hands over his check. :love:

katerkat
07-12-2006, 12:48 PM
Wow - as a military wife, that's kind of dangerous. I have access to all our accounts, including his government credit card, in case something happens while he's deployed.

In our house, I basically control the money - pay all the bills, update Money, decide what goes into savings, etc. I give him a spreadsheet at the end of every month to show him how we did. We don't have a weekly allowance but we talk about almost every purchase beyond grocery shopping, etc.

I, too, have a list of all the passwords and accounts in our safe - otherwise DH would not have a clue what to do if something happened to me.

kinntj
07-12-2006, 12:53 PM
My husband and I both have whatever access to our money we want/need. I'm a SAHM and am happily married to a man that doesn't control me or the finances!

Same here! DH takes care of the books, because trust me...I'm terrible at it. If I write a check I put a note on the outside of the checkbook and the register and he inputs it into Money on the computer. We do budget certain things together and if the amount is over $50 and it's not something normally in the budget then we consult each other on it.

From the start we've mutually agreed on amounts spent. Too many divorces and fights over money.

dnoyes
07-12-2006, 03:18 PM
I'd like to see that guy tell my wife she couldn't spend what she wanted ... good luck with that buddy.

kidding, my wife is very nice.

She went back to work 8 years ago after being a SAHM and fell face first in to a great job with a very solid Ins company. What she makes she can do with it whatever she desires.

meloneyb21
07-12-2006, 03:25 PM
Dr. Phil said pretty much the same exact thing you all were saying. He felt as though that it wasn't just a money thing, that it was more to it than meets the eye. He asked them if they still were in love with each other.....They both had those "Ummmmm" looks on their faces. She said that she would have never married him if she knew he would be like this. He said the same about her (go figure). She also stated that they are legally married but not married in their hearts. Dr. Phil told her that she needed to take responsibility for herself too. He can only do to her what she allows......

They had another couple on there too (sorry, I am so gossiping). She filed for divorce from him because he has no job and is digging them into a deeper financial hole. When they first got married, her home was beautiful, until he started trying to fix things up and renovate.....not thinking that he doesn't even have the money to finish what he started. Now her house looks like a construction site. She can't afford to fix it because she is now $20,000+ in debt because she pays his child support for his kids from a previous relationship. He would write child support checks out of her checkbook without telling her. This would sometimes lead to an overdraft on her account. He recently wrote one for $700....She's divorcing him because she feels as though she can't afford him anymore. Staying with him might leave her bankrupt and she has kids of her own from a previous relationship.....

Dr. Phil told him to be a man, get off his behind, and get a JOB.

SplshMtn99
07-12-2006, 03:37 PM
The man on the Dr Phil show sounds so much like my dad when I was growing up. My mom stayed home. He gave her grocery $, & he looked over every item on the receipt & complained (YELLED) about the price she paid for an item. Money was the source of just about all arguements...and there were MANY. I didn't realize it was abuse back then. :guilty: She was never involved in accts or $ decisions.

I myself did not learn anything about $ from them.

Well, they are now in their mid 70's. He has all accounts in his name. She got a credit card in her name & pays that with $ she makes by selling crafts & selling plants (her passion) or sewing for people. He makes her pay her own car insurance, and the cable bill because she wanted it. She wanted to re-wallpaper the house after 30 yrs, & he wouldn't pay, so she had to use $ that her father left her.

If he dies first, she won't have a clue. I've been told I'll be his executor, but even I don't know what he has & she won't be able to help. Everything is a secret. Heck he didn't even have a will until 2 yrs ago, when we brought them to WDW because I knew he would never pay for them to take a trip.

My mom is convinces (yet wrong) that she'll loose everything if he dies first because "she's heard stories from other women". I keep assuring her that she is the surviving spouse, AND the will leaves it to her also.

Its been a loveless marriage for as long as I can remember. I'm sure she only stayed out of fear or ignorance that she thought she couldn't make it alone. They split once for 4 mths. He got apartment & new furniture. I was in 7th grade. (it was so nice not to have fighting). WHY they got back together I'll never know. I suspect that it was "cheaper" for my dad to return home. :sad2: Childhood should not be memories of picking up broken glass while your mother cries in the bedroom. :sad2:

SplshMtn99
07-12-2006, 03:47 PM
Wow - as a military wife, that's kind of dangerous. I have access to all our accounts, including his government credit card, in case something happens while he's deployed.

In our house, I basically control the money - pay all the bills, update Money, decide what goes into savings, etc. I give him a spreadsheet at the end of every month to show him how we did. We don't have a weekly allowance but we talk about almost every purchase beyond grocery shopping, etc.

I, too, have a list of all the passwords and accounts in our safe - otherwise DH would not have a clue what to do if something happened to me.

I'm a military wife too & handle everything. He knows my passwords or could probably take a guess, but I like that idea of list in the safe. I think I'm going to do that.

He knows where everything is filled & I'm VERY organized, and I thought he could just go thru each folder for each acct, but the list is a good idea too. I DREAD the time I'm going to have when I need to handle my parents things. I don't think they have a system & they are pack rats. I'm going to have so much to look thru to find stuff.