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meloneyb21
07-05-2006, 03:31 PM
We were watching Wifeswap on Monday and they had this one mother who obsessed about her finances. She cut her bills and spending so well that her and her husband have already paid off their $700,000 home. Everyone is only allowed to take showers for the length of two songs, but the songs she was playing were only about 2-3 minutes long collectively. I know that her credit rating is through the roof excellent but she only finances for big things like her house and car, so she doesn't bother with credit cards. Everything was so good, I wish I had the discipline she has. My only issue....

Her children get a weekly allowance that she teaches them how to save with, but when they take family vacations she makes her children pay for their portion of the trip. Her son is 4 and I think her daughter 9. At one point the kids gave up $100 that they saved from allowance so that they could take a ski trip. Obviously, it is the parents choice to take a vacation, so shouldn't they pay for the whole thing? Especially for their own children? Is this harsh or do other parents do the same thing?

PaulaSue
07-05-2006, 03:38 PM
I personally don't have the girls pay for their part of our vacation but they do pay for some little extras they want. I bought them a lot of stuff before hand (DS sale) so it is not like they didn't get anything. They saved their money and I think they value what they (older 2) bought more, IMO.

For example the oldest 2 bought a few pieces of play jewerly at Disney and every time they wear them they are very proud to say they bought the charms/earrings/ring.

kandeebunny
07-05-2006, 03:39 PM
If your kids are college aged its one thing, but kids that young shouldn't be expected to pay for their vacations, if they chose not to go would they have to pay for their own babysitting?

CMKN
07-05-2006, 03:45 PM
We don't "tell" the kids to pay towards their vacations to Disney, but collectively we do suggest that if they would like to use their birthday, Christmas monies, etc at Disney then they are welcome to. I have two kids that will literally pinch pennies to use at Disney and the other two that will spend their last few cents as if their lives depended on it!

crisi
07-05-2006, 03:48 PM
If you give or pay your kids money, they get to choose how to spend it. Eventually, they will say no.

Now, there is the concept of a family tax - which I don't think is bad. Which is you give your kids money, but only a certain amount is theirs. Some goes into the family tax pool - and the family uses that for vacations or something else which benefits the whole family on which everyone gets a vote (its everyone's money). I've always found that idea intriging, and I'm currently using a variation to pay my kids to read this summer. They get $1 for every 15 minutes, but after they make $100 in this fashion, the tax kicks in and I only give them $1 for ever half an hour, with the other $1 going to the bank for longer term goodies.

bbangel
07-05-2006, 03:50 PM
Okay, I'm coming at this from a kid who had to pay for everything. We got a monthly allowance (a Canadian government family grant thing) and sometimes money at holidays and birthdays from relatives. All money went into our bank accounts. Then we paid for our school fees (grade 2 onwards), our school clothes and anything else we wanted (junk food, music, gifts for friends). I can say that it has taught me the value of a dollar. Suddenly that $15 t-shirt isn't so necessary when you know that it is coming out of your money! I am still very thrifty and owned my first house at 19. In whatever way you want to do it, teach your kids about money and how to manage it. They will thank you for it in the long run. I may have whined a little as a kid about the stuff I couldn't have, but I thank my parents all the time for teaching me good money habits.

T. Lynn
07-05-2006, 03:52 PM
I saw that episode before and thought it was insane. I'm responsible for taking care of my child and that includes vacations. I do have her save money for souveniers and I purchase her one snack a day. If she wants more, then she has to use her money.

No way would I make my child pay for her share of the vacation. She is my responsibility till the age of 18. If they didn't pay, it's not like you could take them to court...

I'm surprised the mother didn't make them pay part of the household utilites. Guess I shouldn't suggest it.

disykat
07-05-2006, 03:56 PM
Adults yes, kids no! We don't give our kids enough allowance to expect them to pay for anything.

I can see deciding to give your kids a larger allowance and have them pay for some of their own things as a way of teaching them to spend wisely. I've known people that do this with lunch money, clothing allowances, etc. However, having them contribute $ for a hotel room, etc. is weird - weird enough to put on wife swap!

meloneyb21
07-05-2006, 04:03 PM
I figured that if my child has extra money that she wants to spend on food or a souvenir, then by all means, go for it. But I don't think having her pay for her part of the vacation at such a young age is a good idea. I might change my mind when she gets to be a teenager and has her first job though. She will definitely pay for something.

summerrluvv
07-05-2006, 04:08 PM
I saw that episode previously and think those parents were insane. Having your children pay for their vacation?! Give me a break. The family tax thing was absurd too. They are children, not adults. A lot of the families on these shows are wacky. :crazy:

tiggerluver12
07-05-2006, 04:10 PM
I can certainly understand her trying to instill the value of money in her kids. Our family vacation is paid for in full this year for WDW in November, including room, airfare, tickets and food (on dining plan). Therefore, my children have been told that if they want anything else, food or souviners(sp), they will have to pay for it themselves. So far, they have collected aluminum cans and have a total of about $20 a piece from that. They also have a savings account that has almost $200 in it, which they will split when we are in the world. So, making kids pay is a good thing and they will learn how to spend wisely when its their own money they are spending.

p.s. My kids don't get an allowance. Chores are chores, not ways to earn money. I'm a stay at home mom and I don't get paid for what I do, other than with love.

MiknMinMouse
07-05-2006, 04:13 PM
We give out kids spending money for the parks and certain extras come out of that. My DS gets a very good weekly allowance so we make him pay for any Lego's he buys as Disney World.

This year we're going to WDW 2 times so we bought AP's. For our 2nd trip it's a large family thing. For one day of the trip some of our family is going to Universal. I told my DS that if he wanted to go, he needed to pay for the ticket. He's 15 has more money in savings than I do and like I told him, we're paying for every aspect of the vacation from tickets to rooms, food, souveniers (my kids are incredibly spoiled when it comes to souveniers) etc. So I felt like it was fair to have him pay for that if he wanted to go. His decision, not to go. I think in some situations it's good for kids to have to use their own money. Then they really have to think about how important something is to them.

Charleyann
07-05-2006, 04:27 PM
I am a single parent taking my son to disney. I have had him save most of his money for our November trip. He got around $120 Canadian for his birthday....half of which went into his saving for disney. He has also been saving change (my change) in his disney bank. He has collected cans thoughout the year. He will probably have a couple of hundred dollars for disney. I will get him travellers cheques.....I see nothing wrong in having your children help save for vacation, especially for that extra something they may wish to purchase. It teaches him the value of money. I hope he will purchase wisely. Last year we went, he spend it on junky items. When we came home, he realized that he wasted his money and vowed to spend wisely the next time. It is working too. He recently went into an ice cream store. They were asking 2.50 for a SMALL cone of ice cream. He came out of the store with nothing and stated " the ice cream was way too much money". He didn't want to waste!

I personally see nothing wrong with this. He is given all that I can give. He also needs to be taught responsibility!

Charleyann :Pinkbounc :wave:

MrsPete
07-05-2006, 04:30 PM
Overall I don't think having children pay for a portion of the family vacation is a good idea. At some point they're going to face a very ugly consequence: "Gee, Mom and Dad, I'd rather stay home alone this summer. I just won't pay my portion of the trip." For me, having the children stay home (prior to high school graduation) would not be acceptable, so I would never make it a choice.

On the other hand . . . since the children are young and the parents are GIVING the money to the children, it's really not like they're being forced to go out and earn it. It's really just semantics.

I think the bottom line is that they're trying to teach their children the value of a dollar -- something that most children today just aren't learning. While I don't like the specific route they've chosen, I think it's better than being an ATM machine so that children never learn anything about budgeting.

I'm working with my kids on budgeting in different ways: For example, they get X amount for back-to-school clothes. They get X amount for school supplies. We do a few other things too. However -- just like the kids in this example -- they don't have to earn the money; I'm giving it to them. They are in no way "paying for their own school clothes". The amount of money I'm willing to spend is simply passing through their hands.

babiesX2
07-05-2006, 04:41 PM
Oldest DD has to use her own spending money. We give her a set amount of money and she can do extra around the house to earn more spending money. We pay for meals, one snack per day, beverages, and one nice souvenir. Souvenirs and junk like that she has to buy with her own money. popcorn:: She also has to pay for junk food with her own money. But as far as making her pay to go on vacation, no we don't do that. It sounds a bit harsh, but then again, some people think we are harsh for making her spend her own money on junk! Befor we started this our trips would be awful because she was constantly begging for junk and we'd get upset because we didn't want to spend the money. Since we put her on her own budget it is much nicer and we haven't had any problems since. The twins will be on the same system when they are old enough.

leight
07-05-2006, 04:44 PM
My kids have always been pretty spoiled when it comes to gifts/xmas. So for our next trip to WDW we are all saving change/pitching in money to our Disney savings. We decorated a jar with Disney princesses and discussed that we wanted to go to disney around christmas- and it would be part of all of our Christmas presents. We also told our girls that to go to a nice hotel we would All try to save towards the trip. They both have cd accounts that we started with their bday money and they contribute $2 of their $7 allowance each week towards their savings. $2 goes into their piggy banks for special things-anything they want- and the last $3 goes towards special snacks they want to buy at the grocery store. That way they know that their extra snacks are bonus items, not staples. Also they are seeing that their money is going towards them picking a hotel for our trip- and the more they save the more the better their choices. We have about $250 saved so far. (tickets, and food will be on us of course.) They also got $10 each Disney dollars in their easter baskets and will get some more that they can spend at Disney so they can see how their money is spent.

disneysnowflake
07-05-2006, 04:50 PM
In 1982 my parents took my sister and I to WDW. They paid for admission, but we had to sell our bicycles to come up with money for food or anything we wanted to buy to bring home. I was 13. I can remember trying sharing a personal pizza with my sister because that's all the money we had left.

Looking back I thought it was weird we had to pay for our own food in the parks. I guess my parents were thrifty or something.

When we went to Busch Gardens in Williamsburg and then Epcot the following year same thing. We had to save our own money for food and souveniers in the parks.

My kids save 50 cents from their weekly allowance for spending money at WDW. They use it to buy souveniers. We pay for everything else. Yes, even food.

In 2007 we're taking my parents to WDW. We're paying for everything for them.. including food. :teeth:

shades
07-05-2006, 04:54 PM
If I required my 14yr old dd to pay for her portion of a family trip to WDW or DL, we would never go again because she doesn't care to go. She can learn budgeting lessons elsewhere, like how we pay for the vacations without credit cards. We give each kid extra "vacation" spending money and how they choose to spend it while on vacation is totally up to them. They can spend it all on souveniers or save it - we don't care.

I also do not believe in requiring my kids to pay for their own food - including snacks. If they are hungry, I provide food - including at Disney parks.

T. Lynn
07-05-2006, 05:01 PM
I don't agree for having them pay for food. I don't have them help pay for groceries at home so why would I do that on vacation?

taximomfor4
07-05-2006, 05:11 PM
I don't agree for having them pay for food. I don't have them help pay for groceries at home so why would I do that on vacation?

Ah, but some of us don't buy all the treats kids may want, even at home. For example: my daughter (13 TODAY!!) wants to go up to Dairy Queen to visit her friend that works there. While there, she may (or may not) want a soda or an ice cream treat. If she's HUNGRY, she'll have a banana or an apple before going. If she just wants a treat while visiting her friend, she will pay for it herself.

We keep healthier snacks in the house for the kids, when they are hungry. If they are at a fair, and the elephant ear smells irresistable, they decide if they want it bad enough to pay for it. (Usually, they do NOT!) For our family, it is the same at WDW. We bring healthier snacks to WDW with us. If the kids are hungry, they KNOW we won't make them stay that way. But if they just WANT a box of popcorn while waiting for the parade, they can buy it themselves. We're not mean, we just don't buy a lot. Souvenirs, snacks, even birthday/christmas presents -- we are not big buyers.

Mouse House Mama
07-05-2006, 05:22 PM
I saw that episode before and thought it was insane. I'm responsible for taking care of my child and that includes vacations. I do have her save money for souveniers and I purchase her one snack a day. If she wants more, then she has to use her money.

No way would I make my child pay for her share of the vacation. She is my responsibility till the age of 18. If they didn't pay, it's not like you could take them to court...

I'm surprised the mother didn't make them pay part of the household utilites. Guess I shouldn't suggest it.
I am totally with you! I was so annoyed at these people!!! :furious: They are kids for crying out loud! They were way too obsessed with money. I think it's great to save and have a budget and plan for the future, but their life revolved around it. I do not think a 4 year old and a 9 year old should have to pay their way. If they earned money that they wanted to spend on souveniers that's one thing- but making them pay for their vacation is just insane. princess:

ceecee
07-05-2006, 05:29 PM
I don't agree with that at all. I will pay for DD to vacation with us until she is through with college (as long as she wants to go!). She does save her $ for Disney and things she wants to buy. She really wants an American Girl doll right now so she is now saving part for Disney and part for that. We will pay for everything else including her snacks at Disney. She is getting pretty good at deciding if she should spend her $ on junk or wait on something she really wants is worth it.

Danemom
07-05-2006, 05:29 PM
I see the idea behind this - I'm all for teaching kids that it costs money to do things, like vacation. But as usual, the people on those shows go to the extreme.
No, a child should not have to pay for vacation. Yes, it's acceptable that they buy their own souveniers.
DH and I disagree on a lot of things in this area. Once DD asked to go out to lunch and I said no, that we didn't have the extra money in the budget for that week. She said she'd pay so I took her and let her pay. DH thought that was wrong because she was 10. I thought it was a cheap lesson for her.

ETA: DH and I will definitely be the parents who pay for their children and grandchildren to vacation at Disney with us!

azgal81
07-05-2006, 05:30 PM
I saw that episode as well and thought it was insane. Maybe they pay the kids really good money for the chores they do which is why they expect something in return for the vacation. What really got me was seeing the mom run from room to room shutting off lights when they make 200,000 a year!

summerrluvv
07-05-2006, 05:39 PM
I saw that episode as well and thought it was insane. Maybe they pay the kids really good money for the chores they do which is why they expect something in return for the vacation. What really got me was seeing the mom run from room to room shutting off lights when they make 200,000 a year!

Seriously...I mean, I'm all for being frugal and responsible with money, however, I think they were a little too extreme.

DawnM
07-05-2006, 05:40 PM
I am pretty darn thrifty and we are trying to get out of debt so I am sure some of her ideas would have helped. I did not see the show. But I would NOT make them pay for their own vacation, nor would I make them pay for any part of it.

I have taken them to the Disney outlet store for Disney stuff.....the light saver that says 2000 Disneyland on it still works great! They don't need a new one. They don't even want a new one. We don't buy things in the park much. To me, that is teaching them thriftiness.

Anyway, I agree....I would not charge for a vacation. Now, that said.....if my child were 16 and wanting to go on a trip with a school group, boy scout group, etc....I might tell them that if they really want to go I expect them to contribute something toward the trip.

Dawn

babiesX2
07-05-2006, 05:43 PM
In 1982 my parents took my sister and I to WDW. They paid for admission, but we had to sell our bicycles to come up with money for food or anything we wanted to buy to bring home. I was 13. I can remember trying sharing a personal pizza with my sister because that's all the money we had left.
That is :crazy: AND :sad1: .

In 2007 we're taking my parents to WDW. We're paying for everything for them.. including food. :teeth:
You're a good daughter. I'd give them the same food budget that you had as a kid, but I've been told before that I'm mean. :blush:

hollyb
07-05-2006, 05:46 PM
No way! Dh and I are the parents and we pay for everything. Any money the kids get for gifts is theirs and no one elses. They have a nice savings account. We do give them an allowence a dollar for every year they are old. If they want to bring some to spend they can. But they do not have too. They are 8 1/2 and 6.

DH and I said even when they are married and have kids of their own. If we invite them on vacation with us. We pay. No if ands or butts.

Hedy
07-05-2006, 05:49 PM
Wifeswap=land of the weird parents.

babiesX2
07-05-2006, 05:53 PM
At home, we buy healthy snacks. DD13 has to buy her own junk food. The other day at Sam's Club, she wanted a case of Hershey bars. She bought them with her own money. It is the same when we go on vacation. If she wants junk food she has to buy it. We buy one snack per day. The rest she buys with her own money. We did this because she was throwing fits for junk food and when she got it she'd take 2 bites and throw it in a garbage can then expect more. We don't have that problem anymore! :rotfl:

englishteacha
07-05-2006, 06:33 PM
I can't imagine having your own child pay for their vacation. I'm totally on board for having them pay for their own souvenirs and junk food, and even helping the family save along the way, but asking them to pay their "share" of vacation seems wrong to me. It reminds me of something I read in the paper a year or so ago, in an advice column. A guy wrote in and said his girlfriend's kids were given money for their birthday by a relative. The kids needed new beds, so their mother and boyfriend wanted them to buy their own beds! I think that a bed is something a parent should pay for, but maybe that's just me.

disneysnowflake
07-05-2006, 07:03 PM
You're a good daughter. I'd give them the same food budget that you had as a kid, but I've been told before that I'm mean. :blush:
My parents are getting the dining plan. :wizard: My mom and dad are great people, but they were so frugal. They saved a lot of their money, so now they are retired and have a good amount to live from.

It wasn't all bad. I did have money to get a Mr. Eggplant keychain. :banana:

ETA: We drove from PA to Orlando in a new Dodge Colt hatchback. There were only 2 seats, an AM radio and no air conditioning. My parents rolled their windows down. We couldn't breathe in the back from the wind pressure. We probably ate enough bugs that flew through the window to keep us full for a few days. There wasn't much room in that backseat. Our legs could barely move when we would stop every 10 hours or so on the way down and back. That sucker got like 50 miles per gallon though. LMBO. Ah, the memories.

Lizzy2
07-05-2006, 07:14 PM
My DD is 4 and is saving money for our trip in Oct. :cool1:
We have talked about how we are not buying lots of extra treats this summer because we are saving our money for WDW(she loves to remind me of this when I'm grocery shopping) and she diligently puts her pennies in her bank-I let her earn money for helping around the house-
She is learning a lot and I am happy for the opportunity to teach her but she did not choose to go on this trip nor could she stay at home if she didn't want to pay her part of the trip-
as usual there are knuckleheads who go to the extreme in every situation.

LuluLovesDisney
07-05-2006, 07:23 PM
Having kids save allowances to buy souvenirs is a good thing because it teaches them to manage money, but for parents to decide on a vacation and then tell the *FOUR* year old to pony up some money for hotel/food/park admission/airfare/gas is INSANE. It's not like the four year old can say "Nahh, Mom. I'm thinking of saving up for a tricycle, I'll just hang by the pool today." He/she is forced to go. I don't think that's right at all. If a parent can't afford to feed, transport and shelter her own minor child on vacation, then they can't afford a vacation.

You know, when I first opened this thread I was figuring college age "children" not like preschool age children!

And yes, these people get on Wifeswap for a reason.

summerrluvv
07-05-2006, 07:25 PM
My parents are getting the dining plan. :wizard: My mom and dad are great people, but they were so frugal. They saved a lot of their money, so now they are retired and have a good amount to live from.

It wasn't all bad. I did have money to get a Mr. Eggplant keychain. :banana:

ETA: We drove from PA to Orlando in a new Dodge Colt hatchback. There were only 2 seats, an AM radio and no air conditioning. My parents rolled their windows down. We couldn't breathe in the back from the wind pressure. We probably ate enough bugs that flew through the window to keep us full for a few days. There wasn't much room in that backseat. Our legs could barely move when we would stop every 10 hours or so on the way down and back. That sucker got like 50 miles per gallon though. LMBO. Ah, the memories.

That's funny because our first trip to WDW back in the very early 80's was from MI to FL in the back of a pontiac sunbird hatchback. Seats folded down and us 3 girls piled in the back!!

jeankeri
07-05-2006, 07:29 PM
My boys each get an allowance with which they save to buy any toy, book, vacation souvineer, piece of clothing, etc that they want. We still buy them clothes, or grab a book at Walmart that I think they'll like, but now the answer to "Can I get ____(insert useless, unnecessary, overpriced object here)?", the answer is "Of course, you can buy what you want with your money". :sunny:

kerry34
07-05-2006, 07:46 PM
I would never make my kids pay for their vacation. When they are grown up and employed then that would be a different story. When I was nineteen I went to Disney with my mom and my aunt and I paid my own way after saving my money for a year. That is different than making your school aged children pay for trips. My kids pay for their souveniers with their saved up allowances. What they save is what they have to spend. This works out because they are very money conscious because it is their own and they are carefull not to spend it foolishly. They are all good about saving their money for vacations, even my six year olds. Every time the tooth fairy pays a visit they insist on putting their money in our disney savings jar. If they find any money on the floor they get all excited and put it in the bucket for our trip. Maybe it is just me but I feel that is a pretty effective teaching tool to show your kids how to save money without making them pay for their lodging, traveling expenses, etc. That to me is a bit harsh. JMHO.

hsmamato2
07-05-2006, 07:51 PM
My boys each get an allowance with which they save to buy any toy, book, vacation souvineer, piece of clothing, etc that they want. We still buy them clothes, or grab a book at Walmart that I think they'll like, but now the answer to "Can I get ____(insert useless, unnecessary, overpriced object here)?", the answer is "Of course, you can buy what you want with your money". :sunny:
Same here, my ds was 12 last year, and got an allowance of 2.50 per week,(you wouldn't believe the huge amount of chores he does for that allowance...) and saved $100 to go to Disney and spend it however he wanted, I was so proud of him! And he came home with $60 in his pocket...smart boy...my 6 year old is on the same plan, he saves money,and spends it on his souvies...the rest, we buy, we're the parents! Adn quite frankly,my kids are far from spoiled (note the 2.50 allowance :rotfl: ) but I do enjoy providing wonderful treats for them, like memorable trips!

disykat
07-05-2006, 08:05 PM
I am a single parent taking my son to disney. I have had him save most of his money for our November trip. He got around $120 Canadian for his birthday....half of which went into his saving for disney. He has also been saving change (my change) in his disney bank. He has collected cans thoughout the year. He will probably have a couple of hundred dollars for disney. I will get him travellers cheques.....I see nothing wrong in having your children help save for vacation, especially for that extra something they may wish to purchase. It teaches him the value of money. I hope he will purchase wisely. Last year we went, he spend it on junky items. When we came home, he realized that he wasted his money and vowed to spend wisely the next time. It is working too. He recently went into an ice cream store. They were asking 2.50 for a SMALL cone of ice cream. He came out of the store with nothing and stated " the ice cream was way too much money". He didn't want to waste!

I personally see nothing wrong with this. He is given all that I can give. He also needs to be taught responsibility!

Charleyann :Pinkbounc :wave:

Did you make him give you his money to pay the hotel bill? It sounds like he saved his own spending money, not pitched in on the vacation bill. Very different things.

blanq
07-05-2006, 08:11 PM
Okay, I have to admit that I did not see this particular episode of Wife Swap, but know from seeing previous episodes that most families they feature seem to be one french fry short of a Happy Meal.

I personally would not have my child pay for a portion of a family vacation. But, I can see that a parent could use this as a part of teaching money management. I think that too many parents give allowance with no teaching associated with it, and then push their kids out of the nest and expect them to fly when it comes to managing their money.

I do not think it is unreasonable for parents to expect that kids designate their money for specific things. In our family, our DS gets to keep a portion of his money to do what he wishes with, but also has to designate a portion for giving and long term savings. I have heard about parents who increase the amount of money they give to their children significantly as they age, requiring them to eventually assume all responsibility for budgeting for and purchasing their clothing, school supplies, personal hygiene items, etc. Our DS is almost 13, and we are slowly moving in this direction with him.

Let's face it, kids are big money holes. Most of us don't bat an eye at the money we dump into raising our kids, but we "control" the spending. I think it is good to turn more money over to our kids as they grow to handle directly while they are under our roof and we can pick them up and dust them off when they make mistakes...that we can teach them about what things cost, how you need to think about how far your money needs to go, to think about the future and not just the moment when it comes to money. If part of a parent's values concerning money involves regular vacations, then I could see how having kids pay for a portion could be a useful lesson if not done in an over-the-top-wife-swap way.

ksloane
07-05-2006, 08:20 PM
Wow!? I can't imagine telling my 5 year old she had to contribute to the vacation! Seems extremely crazy to me. As far as vacation goes, we're doing two "monetary lessons"

1) I'm telling her she has to buy all of her own souvenirs/snacks unless I buy it for her voluntarily as a gift (and she gets the 1 snack/day with the dining plan). She probably has more than $100 saved though (at least). My family tends to give her a few dollars here or there when they see her and she has graduation money that she received. I've never made her save any of it. I recommended that she did and she just does. She saves all paper money for Disney.

2) We have been buying less, going out for less fast-food, etc for the past few months so that we can save for the trip (this would be her way of contributing to the overall vacation I guess). She's great about this and will remind me when we are getting ready to go out that we should eat before we go or she'll comment on my purchases at the store :lmao: sometimes to the point that it's really things we need.

babiesX2
07-05-2006, 08:46 PM
Let's face it, kids are big money holes.
:rotfl: :lmao: :rotfl2: :thumbsup2

mousebit
07-05-2006, 08:58 PM
I am a grammy who has begun the tradition of taking my DGD11 to WDW every year IF she makes honor roll each quarter. (This is a HUGE accomplishment for a kid who must overcome ADD and dylexia to make those good grades!) This year, we decided to add a Christmas trip as well. Now, I am not a wealthy woman, but I could afford to take care of everything. But, I don't think that would be in her best interest. So, yes, she is helping to pay for the trip. And she knows that she needs to make sacrifices in order to go to WDW in Dec. So, instead of going to the movies or McDonald's, she may choose to save the $$ and put it in the Disney bank. It's all about decision-making and choices. She also earns extra money by doing extra chores for me and at home for her mom. Usually she puts at least half of that money into the Disney bank. (Her mom also makes her put portion into her regular savings.) She knows the total cost of our package and the amount she is responsible for saving. (I told her up front that I would take care of airfare.) She knows how much on top of that amount she wants to save for souvies and extras. She even knows that if she can come up with extra money, we can do things we've never done before--La Nouba, TL, DQ, etc., what the cost would be and about how many extra chores she would have to do over the next few months to do these things. I think she'll reach her goal. Call me old-fashioned, but, to me this process, just adds to the magic of the trip.

:tink:

TENIA66
07-05-2006, 09:16 PM
We make a family decision on two small vacations, and large birthday parties with friends or disney..............the kids have always chosen disney...........they still have birthday parties just family instead of a big crowd of friends

My children work alot around the home and I believe that the reward of a large amount of time together as a family on a disney vacation, 14 hour drive one way and all, motivates them to get things done...............

jordansmomma
07-05-2006, 09:29 PM
My kids have been saving some of their allowance since January, i am paying for the trip, so while we are their they need to pay for their own extras. We are eating breakfast in the room and going back for lunch and to rest. IF they decide when we get back they want a snack or something else they can pay for that themselves. I think that it will teach them some responsibility with money, and help them realize that money doesnt grow on trees. Hopefullly be a little more greatful for the items they are purchasing. They always seem to have the case of the wants.

Charleyann
07-05-2006, 09:33 PM
NO, he did not pay for the hotel , tickets or meals! Nor will he pay for treats. I asked him to save part of his money this year for that extra special something, just like alot of other poster have said they did with their children. He is my only child and really doesn't want for much. To teach him responsiblility , I have him save his own money for souveniors. Most of the change in his bank is from me, it is however his to do as he wishes.

Again I see no problems in parents asking this of their children.

traviesojmt
07-05-2006, 09:35 PM
Although I agree that this family was extreme, they didn't have to give their children an allowance at all. They were giving their children money. They were trying to teach their children how to manage that money. This was not money that their children had earned down at their job. A 3 year old does not earn money. It is given to him. These parents chose to give money to the children. It seems to me that they can set the paramenters of what the children do with that money. Our son gets an allowance. 10% goes to church for his tithe and the rest has to be divided equally between his savings and spending banks. I really feel that if I am giving him money, I can set the guidelines. Do I make him pay for vacation? No, that would require a much larger pay jump in allowance and I am not willing to go there. ;)

Debbie
07-06-2006, 09:05 AM
The family tax thing was absurd too.

I didn't see this part, but when my oldest three were small, we had a "family tax jar". The allowances were divvied up: Short term (I can spend it NOW), Long term (for their savings accounts-i.e, college, bike, personal Disney souvenirs, etc), Charity and Taxes.

The Taxes jar was a pig that sang "It's a Small World" every time a coin went in. That money was spent on family outings: a drive-in in the summer, a pizza (we live in a small town and never order in), a movie rental, and, yep, DISNEY treats.

Oh, and I used to buy chips and pop by the case in the summer. Since these were another "never have it treat", as the kids got older and went to the 7-2-11 to buy the junk, I'd open my store. They'd buy it from me, get their treats, and that money was added to the Taxes jar.

When we went to Disney, we paid for the trip, including food. HOWEVER, I paid for (say) a medium drink. I had a teen who HAD to have the large...he paid the difference. I paid for Mickey Bars, but if they wanted something at a time when it wasn't for the whole family...they paid their own. Souvenirs, I bought a couple....extras they paid for themselves.

I see this as teaching the child to think for him/herself. Now, the children are young adults, and have strayed somewhat from their early teaching, but just yesterday, the oldest indicated that some of what he learned as a child is coming back to him. Hooray!

mommiepoppins
07-06-2006, 09:38 AM
my kids do pay for there spending money. I give each 25$ and if they want more well they better earn it or save it
example 14 yr old dd baby sits and has had to save for her spending money for her youth group trip 75$, ( I paid 290) also for her trip with her cousin 50$ and Disney she has 20 saved from birth day. Mind you she gets allowence also
dd 9 has saved 52$ from tooth fairy and allowence
dd5 has been collecting pennys she has about 10$ also 4 dollars in tooth fairy
dd3 saves pennys also and has 2 $

KinderTchr
07-06-2006, 10:10 AM
Our upcoming trip is a Christmas surprise, so we will be giving the kids Disney Dollars or Gift Card as their Stocking Gift and they may purchase whatever they want. I have found that they don't "need" nearly as much or spend nearly as much when spending their own money.

In the past we have made decisions as a family such as cutting down on movies, ording dinner in, eating out etc and putting that money in our Vacay fund. Until they have a job, I would never consider them actually paying for the vacation. (current "at home kids" are 11 and 13)

However, when my second daughter was 16 I went to NYC with her and she paid a very small portion from her part time job.

AspiringCindy
07-06-2006, 10:44 AM
;) Boy!...my 5 year old would have to sell alot of cups of lemonade!

mom2my3kids
07-06-2006, 10:49 AM
Every parenting style are different. I personally would not but I don't see a problem with it. My older kids are saving every cent they make for extra things they want on our vacation to disney this fall. :yay:

alicenwonder99
07-06-2006, 10:50 AM
I haven't read all of the responses yet.

I would never make the children pay for their share of the vacation...and I don't care how old they are! I also buy the kids one stuffed animal on the first day of our trip, but any other souvenoirs they have to pay for.

I saw that episode of Wife Swap, too. I thought the woman was nuts! I can see having the children pay for extra things they want, but to have to pay for a family vacation is just crazy.

Mary

DISNEYLOVER70
07-06-2006, 11:02 AM
If I required my 14yr old dd to pay for her portion of a family trip to WDW or DL, we would never go again because she doesn't care to go. She can learn budgeting lessons elsewhere, like how we pay for the vacations without credit cards. We give each kid extra "vacation" spending money and how they choose to spend it while on vacation is totally up to them. They can spend it all on souveniers or save it - we don't care.

I also do not believe in requiring my kids to pay for their own food - including snacks. If they are hungry, I provide food - including at Disney parks.


Ditto :thumbsup2

bartleby1
07-06-2006, 11:21 AM
I don't make the kids pay for their vacation, but I did get them involved in saving for our next trip. My kids are 6, 4, and 1. I sat down with the kids and we brainstormed ways that they could help save money around the house. Then, whatever they saved us, we put in our disney pig (my ceramic pig bank with the mr. potato head mickey ears in the slot, lol!). For example, my 4 yr old still wears a pull-up at night. The nights that he stays dry, we re-use the pull-up for an additional night so it saves us 30 cents (the approx cost of a pull-up), so he gets to put 30 cents in the disney pig. When the kids choose to drink water with their meal instead of juice, they put 15 cents in (the cost of a cup of juice). When they remember to turn off the tv or a light when they leave the room they can put a penny in. Even my 1 yr old began turning the tv off to put a penny in! We did drop our electric bill since we started this! The kids really got into this and enjoyed trying to save money for our trip. We just counted and rolled our savings and we have $127 to use as extra spending money!

Goobergal99
07-06-2006, 11:57 AM
Well I was a spoiled only child so I never paid for anything when I was a kid and I wanted for nothing :rotfl: . I do not believe that leads to a lazy adult either (I work the overtime to prove it :thumbsup2 ) and I always shared with my friends who weren't as fortunate as me.

My family gave me what they could and that just happened to be alot because there was only one of me. As far as DD goes, she too is very spoiled, doesn't want for anything and is still a pleasant kid who shares everything.

My DH had nothing growing up (came from a big family) never went to Disney until he met me and literally saved his lunch money for school all week to buy me gifts back when we were in Highschool :love: (which I put a stop to once our friends told me about it)

So..... NO IT IS NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR A PARENT TO EXPECT THEIR CHILD TO PAY FOR A VACATION AT THAT AGE! :sad2:

I completely understand why some ppl can't give their kids everything but honestly if you can afford a $700,000 home then you can afford to pay for your kids vacations.

And as far as spending money goes, DD has a princess bank that we put all of our loose change in and it it is getting mighty hefty!

I do not give her an allowance, I take her out and give her whatever my budget allows, we eat out often and I would never ask her to pay for that either besides, we eat out because I don't cook and don't ever want to and at this time of the year when DH is working alot he doesn't want to cook either.

Some may think it is wrong to spoil your child but I say the same thing to them as I said to my MIL when she told me just to let DD cry it out when she was an infant "She is not your child and I will do as i please with her"

Brooknwdw
07-06-2006, 01:30 PM
We were watching Wifeswap on Monday and they had this one mother who obsessed about her finances. She cut her bills and spending so well that her and her husband have already paid off their $700,000 home. Everyone is only allowed to take showers for the length of two songs, but the songs she was playing were only about 2-3 minutes long collectively. I know that her credit rating is through the roof excellent but she only finances for big things like her house and car, so she doesn't bother with credit cards. Everything was so good, I wish I had the discipline she has. My only issue....

Her children get a weekly allowance that she teaches them how to save with, but when they take family vacations she makes her children pay for their portion of the trip. Her son is 4 and I think her daughter 9. At one point the kids gave up $100 that they saved from allowance so that they could take a ski trip. Obviously, it is the parents choice to take a vacation, so shouldn't they pay for the whole thing? Especially for their own children? Is this harsh or do other parents do the same thing?


I have not read any of the posts yet, but NO way would I make my kids pay for their vacation :sad2: unless they were in the mid twentys or something & still living at home, then they may have to pay for all or part depending on the situation.

I think that is part of raising kids..one of the responsibilities of a parent..if you can't afford to take the kids on vacation, don't.

There are plenty of other ways to teach kids money management such as saving part of allowances.

AGE has alot to do with it.

What I do on vacations is give the kids one set amount (which is $50 each) to spend how they choose. This is set into my vacation budget. Then any $$ beyond that they want, they save for themselves by choice.
They have been saving $1 per week of their allowance for quite a while now. I just looked in their disney money envelopes, and they each have saved $20 or so to add to their $50.

tinkerbellmagic
07-06-2006, 01:39 PM
I don't think kids should pay for their portion of the vacation. They're kids!!!
I do think kids should earn some souvenir money. One of the jobs my 7 yr old grandson has been doing for the past few years to earn Disney pin money is to pick up the apples that have fallen off the apple tree in my yard. :thumbsup2 Sure, it's not enough for his pin-a-day habit, but I don't want him to think money grows on trees. Apples do. ;)

Tink

Katieplus4
07-06-2006, 03:09 PM
:wizard: I don't make my kids(8,7,6 and 4) pay for the vacation, but we have started this year having them save their allowance for Disney spending money. At the beginning of the year they were told we were going to Disney in December and that the only spending money they would have is what they saved thru the year (including allowances and Birthdays). They can spend it if they want , but if they don't have money in Dec.-NOT MY ISSUE!

I also told them that i would match them dollar for dollar. My 4 year old has $42 saved up so far- so it's like $84. They don't get much allowance a week
the older 3 get $4 and the 4year old gets $3. However allowance depends on behavior...so if you lie, hurt someone, don't follow directions we take a quarter (from the jar on the counter) and what is left is what you get. You can earn quarters back, for helping-without being asked, and improving behavior. Some weeks they get $4 and some weeks they get $2.25 and some weeks they get $0.

It has really helped with behavior and also with them understanding money.
When they ask for something i say" do you want to pay for it?" surprizingly
they don't.

They may each have way too much money to spend at Disney, but they will have earned it. And i will so not care about buying the $50 giant minnie since they will really understand what it cost.

Goobergal99
07-06-2006, 03:15 PM
reading these posts reminded me of something.

When I was a kid math was not my strong point, so my pop and Uncle Butch used to help me learn to count with money. After awhile I started to get good at it except I couldn't count change very well. My Uncle used to always say that was because I was never given any coins, I only knew what paper money looked like :rotfl:

disneynewbee
07-06-2006, 03:50 PM
I agree with alot of the other posters. I have my kids save for spending money but not for the cost of the trip itself.

renessa
07-06-2006, 08:24 PM
I'll say upfront that I didn't read past page 1, but if you look at it like this:

The parents gave them $$ for allowance. They aren't using birthday $$ or "their" money. My parents didn't believe in allowance (they couldn't have afforded it anyway), but paid for our vacation trips. It all works out the same in the end. Did they say how much the allowance was??? Maybe their allowance is pretty good...thus allowing for vacation expenses in their savings.

renessa
07-06-2006, 08:36 PM
Ok, I felt bad and went back to read it all...I don't think that many people "get" that while you may give your child $3 a week or $10 or whatever...they live in a 700K house and maybe they give more each week. Maybe they give them $20 or $30...knowing that part of that is the family vacation budget. There may be more to the story that we don't know.

Also...I was really looking forward to reading disneysteve's reply, and was suprised to see none. He has some interesting ideas (in a positive way) in regards to raising his daughter and I love to read his opinions!

patsal
07-06-2006, 08:45 PM
It is a family vacation for us and as head fo the family DH and I pay for the vacation. The kids have the option of saving and spending their allowance as they choose, we do not purchase souvineers and expect them to pay for things like that with their allowance--it really cuts down on the useless stuff! If they want an extra snack that is beyond what we are providing that is something that they pay for as well. I don't pay well enough for them to fund their share of a vacation!

Lizziejane
07-06-2006, 09:09 PM
At first glance, I totally disagreed with having the kids pay for their vacation. But when I looked at it again, they paid $100 for a ski vacation. Which means the bulk of the expenses were paid by the parents. The parents obviously had the kids chip-in what probably amounted to a minimal payment simply to demonstrate that there's a cost to everything. They were not asking their kids to pay the whole thing. Who knows - perhaps the rest of the trip included lavish spending that the parents covered 100% - no way to really tell. I don't have a problem with the 9 year old as much as the 4 year old. To me, thats just way to young to appreciate the lesson that's being taught.
Never mind the vacation costs - the 4 minute showers would drive me insane - barely enough time to get my hair wet, let alone rinsed properly!

WeluvDisney2
07-06-2006, 10:10 PM
We pay for the trip (airfare, hotel, food, tickets) but my daughter saves her babysitting money and my son saved his birthday money (their choice) to bring to Disney for spending. Since it is their money, we also let them spend it on pretty much what they want while they are there.
HOWEVER, When they are older and have jobs I think it is a good idea for them to contribute to their trips. It teaches them responsibility and to save for things they really want. They will not be forced to contribute, but they will know that if they do contribute, we will have more money to go on trips more often.

disykat
07-07-2006, 12:03 AM
NO, he did not pay for the hotel , tickets or meals! Nor will he pay for treats. I asked him to save part of his money this year for that extra special something, just like alot of other poster have said they did with their children. He is my only child and really doesn't want for much. To teach him responsiblility , I have him save his own money for souveniors. Most of the change in his bank is from me, it is however his to do as he wishes.

Again I see no problems in parents asking this of their children.

Sorry to pick on you, but I'm still not understanding your answer. I think everyone here agrees it's good for the kids to buy their own special things. I didn't think that was what was being discussed. I thought we were talking about having the child turn over part of their money to pay basic vacation bills.

Are you still saying you think it's okay for parents to ask their children to chip in on hotel, etc.? Or do you consider him saving for souveniers having him "chip in"?

nbodyhome
07-07-2006, 08:11 AM
How much do the kids get for an allowance? If they both receive $20 a week, then paying $100 towards a costly ski vacation is very little. If they receive $2.00 a week, that is a years worth of wages for them - which I think would be very unfair.

I think better would be the parents to foot the whole bill with hotel and skis, food, etc., and the kids to buy any small souvenirs or extras out of their own money. I don't think 4 years old is too early for that.

On the other hand, if they were taking a trip to somewhere the kids asked for, perhaps the kids could do extra chores for the trip.

I was handed everything as a kid, and it didn't help me at all.

blondimom
07-07-2006, 08:18 AM
I didn't read the whole thread, maybe becauase I'm lazy, maybe because I'm not that interested, but here's my take. My kids are really little, so this doesn't affect us yet. When they are older, I will pay for their vacation, pay for their souvies and if they bring a little cash to spend as they like, that's fine, too. They are gonna spend too much time paying their way as adults-it's my pleasure to pay their way now. Flame on.

sameyeyam
07-07-2006, 12:21 PM
I make my kids "work" for the Disney vacation each year. They are involved in the planning process and know that it costs a lot of money for this vacation. We go each year during Spring Break.

We live on 2 acres in the Pacific NW and have lots of trees. I make the kids pick up branches & pinecones, help clear brush & burn it, stack firewood, etc... This is their way of earning their Disney vacation. I tell them if they don't do it, we will have to hire someone to help and then we won't have the extra money for that expensive vacation. Not to mention that it's wonderful exercise!

This year I allowed my daughter (14) to bring along her best friend, all expenses paid. The two of them spent several winter weekends doing outdoor work in exchange.

Now I can also understand the mother that times the kids showers. If we lived in the city it would be fine to take long showers, but when you live in the country like us, you have a septic & drainfield system and it simply cannot handle long showers. I would rather yell at the kids to take a 5 minute shower than pay $20,000 to install a new drainfield every 5 years. We love our country living, but there is always a tradeoff and restricting water useage, not being able to have a garbage disposal, etc. is the price we pay.