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View Full Version : **serious Help Needed-please**


disneynutsss
06-07-2006, 07:50 AM
I am a female adult on VMK and last night i met a girl (have no idea how old she is) and she told me that she was raped the night before. She also told a underage "vmk male friend" of mine.

I am so worried and afraid for this girl. I told her it was not her fault and that she should tell a "big person". She said that she wouldnt because they would be mad. This can cause life long issues for her if she does not find the help. I am hoping that it really didnt happen to her and that she is just looking for attention. Either way she needs help.

Also, i am concerned for the other kids out there that she is telling this to. Some of these kids are young and should not hear that kind of thing, it is too confusing for them.

I am not sure if I should email VMK and let them know so that maybe they can contact her parents email address and let them know.

Any and all advice is greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much.

ktbutterfly2011
06-07-2006, 07:58 AM
I would probably contact VMK and possibly say that if they can find out if it is true, happened in real life or on VMK.

I feel sorry if it has gone this far on VMK but with all the pedofiles now getting VMK accounts you never know.

jasonpwns
06-07-2006, 08:07 AM
Maybe it happened off vmk and she told people she dont know? so they would nto tell there mom and dad?

PirateSteve
06-07-2006, 09:35 AM
Reporting them is the best you can do. You can't know (or try to find out) anything about them personally, but VMK can. Reporting does not mean they will be banned, it means it will be looked into.

If she was kidding/lying/playing/whatever, she'll get banned. I sure hope that's the case, though, rather than it being true in real life! :sad1:

Also, just wanted to point out that you need to use the Report button within VMK for something like this. Don't report it via the Contact Us link on the Home Page, which they might not read until months later!

pirate:Steve

StitchfansJr
06-07-2006, 03:45 PM
the thing that suprised me is that you can say rape (or something close to it!) ! I would "Report!" ASAP.

Barbday62
06-07-2006, 05:09 PM
I am going to say something that may not be as popular. I dont know if reporting would be a good option. VMK has consistently shown they dont listen to reality and bann for everything. I suspect they will look at yours and her chat record and ban her. Is segregating her out going to help her? I am at a loss on what to say on what to do. If it were someone I knew in real I would definatly go to their parents with the information.

I really dont know if report is the best option here. I speak from experience in this type of situation as a parent.

JeanJoe
06-07-2006, 06:13 PM
Wow, difficult situation. Here are some thoughts, though:

- for safety, I'd have to assume she's telling the truth, and start from there
- first thing is try to make sure she's safe, and not in further immediate danger
- next is to try to convince her to seek help; if she's a minor (and I would NOT try to figure this out on VMK), either a parent / guardian, or any other adult she trusts
- she should seek medical attention; it's been a while since i had to do a sexual assault kit, but she should do this both for evidence collection, as well as STD testing and possible prophylactic treatment

I think that the staff at VMK are generally caring, well-meaning individuals. But, as a business, I think Disney / VMK may first and foremost be concerned about their legal liability, if any. Still, a long time ago on VMK, I was concerned about an individual's safety, and I did contact the staff. I think it was the right thing to do.

But, if you have continued contact with the individual, I would still recommend suggesting to her (the following can be said despite the VMK dictionary):

- "what happened was not your fault, there are people who can help you"
- "right now, the most important thing is to make sure you are safe"
- "if you might not be safe, tell a law person right away and get some place safe"
- "please let a big person in real life know about what happened"
- "you should be seen by a doctor, because they can collect evidence and give med that might be needed, the sooner the better"

Good luck.

cteddiesgirl
06-07-2006, 06:23 PM
I agree with Be. This is a serious situation. Always start out thinking that the person is telling the truth. I would contact VMK immediately and make sure that you tell them exactly what she said and that you hope that they can try to find out if this person is ok.
I would probably use both the in game report button and the contact us on the main page. The contact us on the main page will give you freedom to say in better clarity what your concerns are.

disneynutsss
06-08-2006, 08:45 PM
First I want to thank you all for all of your help. I did take piratesteves advice and clicked the help button to let them know. So far, she has not been banned that i know of. Of course i got the standard "we will look into it" message. I like the idea of reporting it on the main page as well so that i can further explain myself and the situation, i will do that tonight.

As for the rest of the advice you have all given:

The absolute first thing i did was to tell her that it was not her fault and that nobody deserves that for any reason, whatsoever. The next thing i did was ask her if she told a "big person". She said no, that she was afraid that her mummy and duh duh would blame her and send her away. I remember what it was like being a pre-teen and teen, I didnt think my parents ever understood me and never thought they really loved me as much as they did. I told her that her parents love her more than she thinks they do. I also said that if she didnt tell her parents that she should tell the authorities or a big person she trusts. I did not think of the medical attention aspect of it, but i did tell her that she does need help because it is going to affect her for the rest of her life. If and when i see her again, i will tell her to go to a doctor as well.

Again, thank you so much for all of your help. I will try to help her in any way that i know how to, this just is such a shame. : (

punkskateboarder
06-08-2006, 10:13 PM
ok!, first of all she could of ben makeing it up. But you can never so shure. secoent good luck with this! and i have 1 more thing to say she should be banned.

Disney Dreams
06-08-2006, 10:22 PM
ok!, first of all she could of ben makeing it up. But you can never so shure. secoent good luck with this! and i have 1 more thing to say she should be banned.

oh my! You are right - she could have been making it up OR she could have been reaching out for help. If this were you, wouldn't you rather that someone take you seriously on the off shot you needed help?

And why on Earth would you say she should be banned without knowing if it is real or not?

Disneynutsss - Sounds like you did everything you can to help her. Good for you.

caribbound
06-08-2006, 10:48 PM
Send her a mail to get dr advice asap for evidence purpose if needed so that she gets it even if you're not on when she is. You can also check to see when she's been online last by looking at your friend's list. If she avoids vmk I'd say it was more likely to be true and trauma and embarassment of telling people set in. That doesn't mean I think it was made up if she doesn't avoid it. Let it go now that you've done what you could though, there's not much else you can do, and we'll never know for sure.
You did great. :goodvibes

SorcererDonald16
06-08-2006, 11:56 PM
What a terrible situation. You did the right thing, disneynutsss. I would have done something along the same lines as well. Yes, she could be making it up for whatever reason, but it is much better to be on the safe side.

The following is in the terms of use. Obviously she did nothing illegal by saying it happened to her (even if she's lying, it's not as if she filed a false police report that we know of), but perhaps this will give them the means to pursue it and get other people involved as necessary.

We reserve the right to remove any material, and if we deem appropriate, to turn over to law enforcement officials, any material, including message, e-mail, or posting, that is in violation of these House Rules.
Terms of Use (http://disney.go.com/corporate/privacy/terms.html)

I hope and pray this turns out alright. :sad2: Be proud of yourself though for being proactive and trying to help her. If only everyone in the world was like that, life would be much better.

silvrstrfx
06-09-2006, 02:27 AM
You did a great job, disneynutsss :grouphug: Thanks for helping to make VMK a better place!

As someone who works as a rape crisis counselor, an FYI to anyone that this may happen to in the future (I really hope it doesn't, but life being what it is... 1/3 of women will...and yes, men get raped, too.)

Please, please, please go see a doctor within 72 hours (3 days). If you can't afford it, often times many county hospitals offer their services for free. Just go to the ER. Within this time window, you can receive treatment for possible pregnancies and STI's. At this time, you can also have a police report filed and evidence collected, although you DO have the right not to. Sadly, the police can be quite pushy in a bad way.

A strongly advisable thing to do is to contact your local rape crisis center. They will be able to answer most of the questions you have, tell you about resources you can use, provide short-term counseling, often act as an advocate at the hospital for you, and just provide a friendly, understanding ear --- for a lot of people, there's no one that they can talk to, which is why I imagine she had to resort to telling people on vmk.

The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network
http://www.rainn.org/
1.800.656.HOPE (call to find out the number for your local center)

Be safe everyone! If anyone has any related questions, feel free to pm me.

punkskateboarder
06-09-2006, 01:29 PM
its still weard :confused3