Finding the real me in this body

[deelam]

Ok, I have let myself go way farther then I ever have. I need to lose at least 60LB. I don't know my weight, I would guess it to be 220. I don't know why I let myself get so out of control. (I love food!) It's like when I look in the mirror, I don't even recognize the fat person there. I need to get back to who I am. This fat, unhealthy person is not me. With this weight, I hate going to parties, I don't want to be seen. I really have no life. So I started back up with my plan. I want to look nice.

My short term goal is to look better for a May 14th family party. Following that is my Disney trip. I have decided to do a low carb diet (closer to Atkins) and excersize.
The problem is that I have a broken ankle. So I can't walk like I want to. My foot is in a boot and I can put weight on it. So I am trying to find a work out routine that I can do. Walking is not an option because I have some pain with every step.

Yesterday was day 1-I woke up and decided to diet. I really didn't have time
to plan meals.

Breakfast-small piece of chicken with thin slice of cheese

Lunch- again chicken with cheese

Dinner-Ground beef with onions, a little tomato sauce, cheddar cheese and chili powder. Sort of a low carb chili.

Snack-a 0 carb/calorie ice pop

I rode about 3 minutes on the exercise bike. It didn't hurt my ankle, but I kept feeling like I was sliding off of the seat.

Leg lifts 20 each leg in 2 directions

20 squats

I was really tired yesterday. I just layed around after exercising. I think I should excercise before I eat. It may give me more engery.

So this was day 1. I did ok.

[deelam]

This is day 2.
I woke up with a headache. Is it possible that I am so hooked on sugar that the low carb headache is starting only after 1 day? I really have been eating allot of sugar up to this point. I've been out of control with cakes and cookies. Why does all the good food have to be so bad?

My diet word for today is backfat. I came up with that after seeing myself in a slightly tight shirt this morning. I quickly changed the shirt. I hate seeing rolles of fat on my sides/back area.

Here is todays plan

Breakfast
2 scrambled eggs with a little low carb ketchup

Lunch
A big salad with olive oil and vinegar

Dinner
Baked Chicken
tomato salad

Snack
Cheese

I'm going to try another 3 minutes on the bike. I'll to the squats , but this time I'll go to 30. I'll do the leg lifts too.

I got to find an exercise for rolls/backfat.

[kimwim8]

Welcome to WISH journals!! We can always use more NJ-ites here !! (where abouts in NJ are you?)

Sounds like you're doing great so far! You know what you need to do, and you're doing it! Congrats on taking the first step.

And to do it with a broken foot...I give you a LOT of credit! :thumbsup2

I definitely think you're having a no-sugar headache...give it a couple days (and take some tylenol) and it'll be gone. My sister and I went through the same thing when we started the sugar-free lifestyle. It's tough...but you'll feel so much better without the sugar!

Keep on posting, and we're all here for ya!

[deelam]

Thanks for the encouragement. The sugar headache has faded to a mild ache. I think I should be feeling good about 4 or 5 days from now.

Kimwim, I'm in Bellmawr. Where in Jersey are you?

[kimwim8]

Kimwim, I'm in Bellmawr. Where in Jersey are you?

I'm in Galloway, which is just ouside of Atlantic City.

[deelam]

Small world. I know Galloway. I do plan to walk some on AC's boardwalk as soon my ankle heals. It's about an hour away for me.

[deelam]

Day 2 on the diet went well. I feel really determinded to get in shape this time around.

In addition to my goal for the 5/14 family party, I was informed of a 5/13 family party on my husband's(Sam) side. Now we have been married for 16 years and are happily married. But he was married at the age of 18 (for less then a year) to another women. This was before I met him. He had a child with that woman. That child is now 21. This child is having the party. He really is a great kid. Anyway, I feel a little akward because the EX will be there, and she is thin and very pretty. I think I'm a good looking girl too, but the whole fat thing makes me feel awful about the way I look. It's like because of my weight, I look like the sloppy one next to the thin & stylish ones. The EX is remarried, so I know she is not there to Hit on Sam. It's all about my feelings, maybe insecurity. My new short term goal is to look better for this party. I have got to kick up the exercise.

Day 3

2 scrambled eggs for breakfast
Big salad for lunch-with vinegar & olive oil
Dinner London Broil & green Beens

Snack Jello

Late snack Cheese

Exercise
5 minutes on the bike
20 squats
20 leg lifts
Try to find my old wieghts to do something with my upper body.

[eeyore25]

Hi there and welcome to WISH...you have taken the first step....journalling

You are doing a great job...and doing it with a broken ankle....good for you. You have the right mindset...you can do this!! Take it one day at a time.

Welcome and have a wonderful day!

[deelam]

Day 3 went well. Except that I didn't excercise. I went grocery shopping. I found sugar free bread & butter pickles by vlassic at the store. I just love bread & butter pickles. These pickles were sweeten with Splenda, they were so good. So I laid around eating pickles watching TV by myself. It was nice to have a little piece and quiet. But lately every one goes in a separate room to watch TV or play video games. This upcoming vacation will be good. We need family time away from TV & Games.

So today I feel fat. An old favorite shirt was a little snug. I'm running out of shirts. I don't want to buy a bigger size. I'm definately an apple shape. It's only day 4 on the diet. Ok, the big thing was that I actualy weighed myself today. I'm heavier then I thought. I'm 228. Can I do 20lbs in 4 weeks? It's going to be tough.


Day 4 plan

Breakfast
Jimmy Deans sausage omlette (yum)

Lunch
Large salad

Dinner
London broil with mushrooms

Snack--pickles!

It's going to be a warm day here, I think I heard Mid 80's. I plan to sit outside at lunch today. I lover summer, but have never faced heat while being so heavy. This will be interesting.

[eeyore25]

Good morning,

Your food looks really good!!!! You are doing a great job....soon that shirt will be too big for you and that is great!!!!

keep up the good work and have a wonderful day :)

[deelam]

Day 4 went well. I went a little overboard on the pickles. They were so good!
My ankle really hurt last night-so I skipped the excercise bike. I did do squats and leg lifts. I need to start on my upper body. I will do that this weekend.

Today is Friday-dress down day at work. So I have black kackies and a Disney T-shirt. This is a good thing because my warm weather dress close are a little snug.

I have 22 days until the family party. I want to be at 200LB but don't think
I can make it. I'm actually thinking of skipping all family parties and just going down the shore to walk on the boardwalk. By then my aircast should be off and I should be able to walk a little. Plus I need to get some sun before we leave for Florida. But, I hate blowing off family parties just because I feel to fat to go. I have to work on this issue.

Today's plan Day 5
Breakfast Jimmy Dean sausage omlette

Lean cuisine low carb Turkey & green beans

Dinner London Broil with mushrooms

Sanck my yummy pickles and some jello

Tommorow will be tough. I have to go to my Mothers and she is making a big dinner. Everything she makes will be high carbs and fattening. So my plan is to bring shrimp, have salad, maybe cook a small turkey breast to bring as an alternative to the baked (brown sugar glazed) ham and stuff shells.
And did I mention that she has been baking all types of goodies. So I have to focus on my goal. I really should wear one of my tight shirts to remind me that I don't need to eat all her food. I think that would work.

**I had to edit because I got my days mixed up today is day 5, not day 4

[eeyore25]

Good Morning,

You are going to do great at your Mothers....and if you slip a little, tomorrow is a new day. I don't know about you, but my family pulls the "one won't hurt" I just stand my ground and tell them no thanks!!! You can do it! Good for you for thinking ahead about the food that she is going to be cooking....that way you can bring something for you as well. That is great...You can do this!!

Keep up the great work and have a great weekend!

[keenercam]

Good job on staying focused for 5 days! I am glad you are aware ahead of time of what your DM will be preparing, so that you can develop a plan of action.

Have a great weekend and keep up the great work!

[lindalinda]

Hi , welcome to journals. I was actually kind of freaked out when I read your first post....it couldve been me. I was very athletic in my younger days and when I gained the weight I literally couldnt recognize myself. My starting weight was around the same. I started on the same diet (Atkins) And yes it will give you headaches at first. I stayed on Atkins for about 3 months, lost about 20 lbs. Then I changed to sugar busters, lost some more, then did weight watchers....lost 3 lbs in 3 months (not for me I guess) then I did a high protein low fat diet that was mostly tuna fish and hard boiled eggs. I lost a lot on that one but there were some issues with eating that much tuna...so now I'm on nutrisystem and have lost 17 so far on this one. Sorry this is so long, basically what I am saying is...keep going no matter what. Different things work for different people and dont be afraid to try them all. You can see by my ticker Ive lost 64 lbs so far. I do exercise A LOT and I think that is really the key. Good Luck and keep posting!

:hippie:

[goldcupmom]

Welcome to WISH!

Day 5 and you're well on your way to new, healthier habits!

You CAN do this and we're all here to help you out!!

[deelam]

Thanks to everyone for all the support. It really makes a difference.

I did well at my Mom's. I did not cheat. I stuck to eating shrimp, salad,& veggies. When I came home I snacked on cheese, Pickles and celery. This was a day that I just graized all day.

Sunday went well too.

I ate some sausage links for breakfast.
For lunch I had some chicken
Dinner-I used up the rest of the london Broil--I heated it up with a little (3 carb) tomato sauce. It was soo good. I never would have guessed the combination of London Broil and tomato sauce would work-it was yummy.

So today is Monday--day 7 on the diet. I'm not going to weigh in until Thursday because I didn't weigh myself until Thursday of last week. I feel good on the diet. I'm starting to get a little more energy.
My clothes are still tight-The shirt I have on is tight when I sit down, It doesn't look bad but it feels snug. I'm going to try this same shirt on next Monday-I hope it feels looser.

Today
Breakfast-Jimmy Dean omlette
Lunch-Weight watcher's low carb frozed dinner
Dinner-maybe a burger without the bun & a salad
snack--Cheese & pickles? I've been eating allot of pickles. I really love pickles but I realize they are high in salt. I really want to limit salty things.
I feel as though I'm retaining water.

I'm still torn over the 5/13 family party. I'm starting to have real doubts about going. I keep telling myself that I don't want to be looked at as the fat one. On the other hand, my weight always stops me from going to any family party-and I don't want my weight issue to control my life.

I have got to kick up the excersie. I did nothing all weekend.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Congrats on sticking to your plan at your moms....that is great!!!

You food looks great...keep up the good work. Your cloths will start to losen in no time!

Have a great day!

[deelam]

I was so tired yesterday. It took all my energy not to fall asleep at work.
When I got home I still had to cook for the kids. I just made them soup and grilled cheese. I just had cheese and skipped dinner. I had to lay down. DH had off from work yesterday but never has a clue on what to do about dinner. So when I got home from work, he wanted to know what I was making him for dinner. -he had to settle for grilled cheese because I needed to rest.

So I really stayed on plan yesterday.

Todays plan
Breakfast
scrambled eggs & sausage links
Lunch weight watchers low carb
Dinner-I'm making another london broil. They were buyone get one free last week at the Acme.
String beans

Snack-jello

As far as being tired, it's not due to the diet. I have to get up at 5AM everyday to get ready for work and to get the kids ready for school. I'm not always able to get enough sleep. It just caught up with me yesterday.

My goal is to get healthy. So I want to make a point of checking my blood pressure. It was really high when I hurt my ankle. The hospital said it was probaly from trauma. It was 177 over 103. I want to recheck my blood pressure to see what it really is. I wonder if I have high blood pressure?


2 more days until weigh in!

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

I think yesterday was one of those days...I too was very tired. I just could not sleep. So dinner for us was very simple.

Glad to hear that you stayed on track!!

Keep up the good work! You are doing great

[deelam]

I stayed on program yesterday. The kids were very active last night. They really kept me on my toes. I must say working full time and being a Mother is hard work. It's just so exhausting. I think that is why I got so heavy. I was so tired all the time that I started ordering take out allot. With me, I'm up around 5AM, so by dinner time 5PM or so, who feels like cooking & cleaning up after cooking. Then there is home work and baths for the kids, and even laundry. I'm going to try to prepare food a little more on the weekend.

Todays plan
Sausage & cheese omlette from Jimmy Dean
Again weight watcher low carb
stir fry chicken w/veggies + a little tomato sauce for flavor

Snack
Ice pop
Cheese

Still not exercising. I need to work on that.

1 more day until weigh in!

[eeyore25]

HI there,

Glad to hear that everything went well!!! You are going to do great with you WI!!!

The exercise will come....I know it will!!!!

Keep up the good work!

[kimwim8]

Hey there! You're really doing great. Exercise or no exercise...you're gonna see a good loss tomorrow!

I have a weakness for pickles too. In moderation they're fine. It is the salt that is the problem with them. Just keep on drinking water...and you'll be good!

I totally agree with the working mother thing. It's so hard to find time for yourself. I used to put everything and everyone before me...and wasn't eating dinner til 9 when the kids were asleep just because I felt like if I didn't do things before I sat down to eat, I may never get back up. So I ran around getting everyone else fed, bathed, homework done, etc. and then finally ate & crashed at 9. Not good! I'm glad we both decided to take back our lives, aren't you? Our families need us to be healthy! If the laundry gets left for the weekend, or my sink has dishes in it til the next day...I don't stress anymore.

Take care of you....so you CAN take care of the rest of them!

Keep up the GREAT work. I can't wait to read about your weigh-in tomorrow!

[Fionasmommy]

I just had to reply because I feel like I could have written your first post! That is exactly where I was almost exactly a month ago. I joined WW the next day, and I'm now down 19 pounds. :thumbsup2 I have a long way to go, but every little bit counts!

Just keep at it, and it will work. Any diet will work if you stick to it, the trick is finding the one that you can stick to. I've done Atkins in the past and really liked it. I lost about 40 pounds on it and felt great. I personally prefer Atkins to SB because the extra fat you get on Atkins helps keep off the hunger. But if you track everything you eat (one great free site is www.sparkpeople.com) on Atkins you'll see it does work out to be low calorie too. It works, and I think there are plenty of ways to keep it interesting!

Have you tried the Atkins bars? I like the Chocolate Peanut Butter and the new granola bars. Yummy! But I would recommend staying away from the candies if you can - it's so easy to overeat on them! Oh - about the headaches - they can be killer!! I had them for a week or so anytime I would stray from the diet. I think it had something to do with cutting out sugar and caffeine, but I'm not sure. They will go away though!

If you can't get any cardio in because of your ankle, do some weight training. Any muscle you add will increase your metabolism and it will have a huge impact on the way you look!

Anyway, good luck on your diet and your new life! Hang in there and take it day by day, and you'll do great! :cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2:

[deelam]

Thanks for all the support guys. It really means allot. It's nice to know that I'm not alone in what I'm going through. I hope that I can emerge from this a better person who is no longer ashamed of my appearance. My long term goal is to go to my family's Christmas eve party a thinner, better me. I am going to try that web site-sparkpeople.com, it looks like a winner.

I weighed in today. Last Thusday I was 288. My weight today is 222, so I'm down 6LBS since Thursday. I'm so glad the scale is finally moving in the right direction. I may have lost more than 6, but I didn't weigh myself when I started the diet.

Todays plan
Breakfast Scambled eggs with cheese
Lunch-weight watcher low carb-These are pretty good
Dinner-chicken stir fry with veggies

I went to the grocery store last night. It's amazing how the low carb choices are shrinking. Lean cuisie used to have Low carb meals, but I can't find them anymore. Weight Watchers has low carb, but the choices are shrinking. I haven't tried the Atkins bars yet. Months ago I tried a Carbolite chocolate bar, and I had to RUN to the bathroom many times. I'm staying away from them. How are the atkins bars? I may try them.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Congrats on the loss!!! That is great news! :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :cheer2: :cheer2: :cheer2:

You are doing a great job! Keep up the good work and you will make your goal!

Have a great day

[deelam]

I ended up not sticking to my meal plans for yesterday. But I did stay on the diet. I skipped lunch and had a steak for dinner. I didn't eat anything after 6, no snacks or anything. I just wasn't hungry. Instead I went shopping for our Disney trip in 3 weeks. I can believe Disney is only 3 weeks away. We have the Dining plan this trip. I just hope all the walking balances out all of the eating.

Todays plan
Breakfast
Jimmy dean sausage links

Lunch
Low Carb weight watchers, left over from yesterday

Dinner
The family is having Pizza. Friday is usualy a take out night.
I'm going to order a chicken ceasers salad

This weekend plan is to cook meals ahead. I plan to make a chicken stir fry and a beef stir fry. Maybe even make some chicken salad. I hope that gives me a good start for the week.

My pants feel a little looser. Not the shirts though.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

You have a good plan for this weekend!! You are going to do great!! Isn't it a good feeling to have your clothes fitting a little looser!!! The shirts will come in time...no worries.

You are doing great! Keep up the good work!!!

[deelam]

HOLY COW! This weekend was tough. I took my boys to the Local mall (Cherry Hill) and it was really tough to stay on program. There was a stand with soft pretzels, and it killed me to keep walking. I really want a soft pretzel with mustard. I was really on the border to losing it. We shopped for Disney and had lunch in the food court. I had a big saladworks salad.
The little bit of walking really made my foot sore. I'm not sure how I'm gonna handle Disney. I think I'm going to be in allot of pain.
Doctor's tonight! I should be able to remove the boot! I'll talk to him about Disney.

This weekend I made 2 big stir fry's to have for this week, 1 with beef and 1 with chicken. My family went nuts over the chicken stir fry and I only have a little left for lunch. They would have eaten that too, but I hid it in the fridge. Next time I'm going to have to make like 3 batches.

Todays plan
Breakfast
Jimmy dean's sausage omlette
Lunch chicken stir fry
Unsure on dinner-maybe a weight watchers low carb

I work near the Moorestown Mall. There is a Saladworks in there, so I plan to pick up a salad today for lunch tommorrow.
My cloths fit ok today. But I can't remember if the shirt I'm wearing was ever tight.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Good for you for resisiting the goodies at the mall. You did great :)

Hopefully your foot will be okay for Disney....that would not be any fun to go and be in pain! Good luck!!!

You are doing great and your plan for today looks great!
Keep up the good work!!!


Happy Monday

[deelam]

I went to the Doctors and no longer have to wear the boot! I do have to wear a small under the shoe ankle brace. I asked the Doctor if he thought I would have a hard time walking in Disney when we go in 2 &1/2 weeks, he said "Maybe". He said to bring my boot with me! Now the boot is huge heavy and hot. I really don't want to wear it in Florida. I really got to think about how I'm going to handle all tthe walking.

Yesterday went well. The good news for today is that my favorite shirt that didn't fit last week, fits today!. It is a little snug.

Todays plan
No time this AM
Had cheese for breakfast
Lunch beef stir fry
dinner thinking a pepper & egg emlette

Got the news this AM that my Husband's union went on strike. He is part of the Philly Carpenters. No worries, Husband is a saver, the vacation is paid for, plus we have the dining plan. It's just added stress. Philly is a tough town when it comes to strikes. It can get hostile. I just hope they settle this soon.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Yeah....no more boot!!! I know how you feel about that thing. I broke my foot a few years ago and had to wear one!!! But yeah it's gone!!! I would take it with you just in case you start to hurt a little...that may help. Who knows!!

Sorry to hear that the union went on strike...hopefully it will end soon and then there is no stress. Ya'll don't need stress right now...you leave for the world in 2 1/2 weeks!!!!

Hope you are having a great day! Keep up the good work!

[deelam]

I looks like I'm going to the 5/13 family party. I got a call last night because they didn't think I got the invitation. I said I would be there. I really don't want to go. I hate being so fat around a bunch of thin pretty people. It's a communion party. So I have to get a little dressed up. I decided on white Capris, black top & white sandals. The Sandals will be tricky with my foot being week. I ordered the Capris from penneys this morning. I have a pair of their capris that fit soo nice, I just ordered the same size in white. It's very hard for me to order pants. If I buy a 18W, they are big and baggy, but fit in the waist. A 16W fits in the legs & rear but is tight in the waist. I went for the 16W with the hope that another 5LBs by 5/13 will help.
I still don't want to go.

Todays plan
Egg & red pepper omlette
Lunch Weight watcher low carb
Dinner Grilled chicken with grean beans

It's Wednsday and I'm running out of pre-made food. I wanted to have ready made meals throughout the week to help me from breaking the diet. I'm just going to try and grill food for te rest of the week.

Good news for today. My Husbands strike is over. It only lasted 1 day.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Don't worry about the party...soon you'll be turning heads...you'll get there. I know you will.

Glad to hear that DH strike only lasted 1 day.....that is nice!!!

Keep up the good work and have a great day :)

[deelam]

Today was weigh in day. I loss 3LBs-for a total of 9. So I'm at 219. I'm really let down. I was hoping for a 5 or 6LB loss. I'm not going to be at 200 for vacation. I will not even be close. I'm as heavy as a football player, or a heavyweight boxer and I'm only 5' 4". To make matters worse, I had trouble finding a shirt that fit today. I need to buy some warm weather shirts. But I don't want to buy a bigger size. I just can't wait for the weekend so I can wear big t-shirts and be comfortable.

Today's plan
Breakfast cheese--no time this AM
Lunch-weight watcher low carb
Dinner--maybe a steak

[eeyore25]

Hi,
Congrats on the loss!!!! :banana: :banana: :banana: :cheer2: :cheer2:

Hey don't be hard on yourself....you had a loss and that is great!!! It may not have been what you wanted, but you are on your way there. Keep your head up.....you'll get there!!!

Keep up the good work!!!

Happy Thursday :)

[deelam]

Today is dress down day at work. My jeans are really baggy. Not so much in the waist, but really baggy in the thighs & legs. I still had trouble finding a shirt. I ended up trying on a shirt that was really tight last week. It fits! Good thing because I would have had to other shirt for today.

This weekend will be busy. I have food shopping to do and laundry. I told my Mom I would bring my boys over. I plan to just drop them off, I don't want to get into her food trap of a house. Plus I have too much to do to be sitting around at Mom's house.

When I get home I plan to make food for the week. I also have to make a pound cake for my son's class. We put together a cook book earlier this year, and now they want everyone to make and bring in there recipe.

Todays plan
Breakfast Jimmy Deans omlette
Lunch Low carb Weight Watchers
Dinner-Oh boy, it's take out night. I have to stay away from the pizza. Maybe I'll order a chicken ceasars salad again this week.

This upcoming week is going to be hard. I'm going to be busy, but I don't want to get trapped into eating Mcdonalds on the run. I have to work at my normal job this week, then Monday & Tuesday I have to work at my son's school carnival. So my days will be like this on those days,-- up 5AM-work until 4PM, feed kids & do homework. Then off to work at 6 until 10:30PM. Not much time to relax. I'm sure on Wed & Thurs my kids will want to go to the carnival. I promised them I would take them. I'm going to be so tired. Then friday afterwork until early Sat we go to Wildwood NJ for the boardwalk car show. Sat & Sun are my family parties. It's really no wonder I got heavy. My only time to relax will be the time I spend cooking and doing wash.

[deelam]

Thanks for the words of encouragement.

Today is Sunday. Saturday was a busy day. I get a chance to relax today. I feel like snacking on cake. Not because I'm hungry, but because I'm bored and the cake looks good. My Mom sent over a cake & a Key lime pie for my husband and the boys. My Mom means well, I think.

Todays plan
Bacon for breakfast
Salad for lunch
Baked chicken parm-the family is having speggetti & meatballs, I may have to go for a walk while they are eating.

[deelam]

I did well yesterday. I didn't have to go for a walk when everyone was eating. It didn't bother me. The cravings have stopped.
I was walking around without my ankle brace yesterday and twisted my ankle. I stepped on a little car and my ankle gave out. I was able to walk on it soon after and it did start to feel ok again. It's pretty sore this AM. I don't think I did any damage. It really put a scare in me.

Todays plan
Chicken for breakfast -no time again
Lunch-chicken & veggies with a tomato salad
Dinner-big salad, Cheese, shrimp

I have to work at my son's school carnival tonight. I really am hoping for rain! I don't think it is going to happen.

[deelam]

I slipped last night. I had to work a game booth at the carnival last night. First my son went to get me a soda. I could tell it wasn't diet. Then the kids brought their popcorn over for me to hold, I just had to have some. Then they asked me to hold their funnel cake. What a mistake that was. I had some of that. I even had 2 pieces of candy. But today is a new day. I'm trying to get right back on the diet.

No time this morning for breakfast--I just ate a piece of cheese.
Lunch-chicken stir fry
Dinner-baked chicken & green beans

I'm working the carnival again tonight. I'm going to try and be good.

[CACruisin']

Hi deelam, I just wanted to drop in and say you are doing a GREAT JOB! I started journaling here about the same time you did. Everyone here has been so very helpful and encouraging. Sorry about your ankle. Do take it easy. I broke my foot about a year ago and was in a Fracture boot for almost 12 weeks. Dr said I didn't have to wear it fulltime about a week before our first DCL cruise. I ended up taking the darn thing with me "just in case". I didn't end up needing it, but I was glad I had it as back up.

Yesterday was hard at the carnival, but today is a new day. Maybe before you go to the carnival today you can have a snack and that might help resist all the yummy other stuff. Also, maybe bring a bottle of water to drink so the soda won't be so tempting. Hang in there. You resisted mom's home cooked food, you can resist this too!! You really are doing GREAT! :banana:

[CACruisin']

Hi deelam. Just stopping in to say :wave2: and wish you good luck at your family parties this weekend.

Happy Mother's Day!

[deelam]

Thanks for the kind words.

I cheated quite a few times the past few days. My weight is the same as last week, 219. I get bad heartburn when I cheat. I plan to get back to a low carb diet when I get back. I plan to eat healthy carbs until we leave, I have 6 days until we leave for Florida. I'm going to family parties this weekend. I didn't want to go to the party on my Husbands side. To make matters worse, my Husband is working so I have to go without him! This really stinks.

So today I will avoid Junk carbs and cake. I'll stick to small portions. I'm stressed over this party today. My outfit looks OK. I hope I can bring myself to go.

My 10 year old is punished. He wrote "what the F***" in chalk on my MIL driveway. She insist that I let him watch too much TV. But I really only watch Nick & Disney. MIL likes to blame me for everything.

[deelam]

It was a crazy weekend. After my post on Saturday, my Mother-in-law started having chest pains. I live right next door, so she called me. None of her children were home or answered their cell phones. She went by ambulance to the hospital. I followed, my Mom watched my kids. MIL is okay now, But I'm not sure if it was an offical heart attack or not. She was admitted to the hospital and is still there. Because of all this, I missed the party on my husbands side. All that worrying and I ended up not going after all. I did go to my family's party on Sunday and it was nice.

I made a pound cake for my son's school and it collapsed. I had no idea that opening the oven would make the cake collapse. So I have to make it again tonight since we have to bring it in school tomorrow. The one that collapsed still taste yummy. I can't keep it at home, I might bring it to work just to get rid of it. I think they would still eat it even if it looks funny.

Todays plan

Fruit for breakfast
Lunch 1/2 BLT-no mayo
Dinner-soup & 1/2 sandwich

I'm not doing atkins since I only have a few days until I leave for Disney.
I am going to try and eat light.

[CACruisin']

So sorry about your MIL. I hope she is back on her feet soon. You can give her a little kiss too for giving you a very legit reason to miss your DH family's party. :teeth: Glad you were able to make it to your family's party on Sunday.

Yup, take the cake to work and get it out of the house. I have a friend who keeps telling me that is what the garbage disposal is for, but I just can't see doing that to perfectly good (or really good) food. It just seems wrong! Good luck with round two on the cake tonight!

You plan for today looks great. Have a great day and have a wonderful time at Disney too! Enjoy yourself and give yourself a treat everyday.

[goldcupmom]

Hi, DeeLam! Hope things are going well for you!

[deelam]

Well I have completely gone off anytype of diet. I have been eating anything I want and going to allot of parties. Which, is an big step for me to actualy show up at a party. I actually did good while at Disney & Universal. It's when I came home that I lost control. I do plan to get back on track after I go shopping this weekend. I have allot to recap on. I'm too busy at work now, so I'll do it early in the morning.

[CACruisin']

Welcome back!!

[deelam]

I have been away for a long time. We did our Disney vacation with the dining plan. We just had a blast at Disney. I had a hard time getting back on my low carb diet. I have been on it now for about a week, I have that awful headache. Tomorrow at work is free pizza day. I have no idea what to do.

The past few weeks have been tough. I attended a family party at my step son's. His skinney Mother was there. We both were wearing the same outfit! Only I'm huge. But I had a good time anyway. I am planning to avoid all family parties until I drop some weight.

I'm having major Mother-in-law problems. I really almost went on a food binge yesterday. I believe my MIL is a bitter, selfish, crazy woman. Did I mention that she lives right next door to me. The past week DH has had to leave for work at 6AM. I've had to leave for work at 6:30AM. I have been stuck for a babysitter so I had to use my MIL. My brother-in-law lives with her. He is a former drug addict who just got released from jail. I was really worried about this. BIL has had problems for about 20 years. But my MIL is blind to everything. When I went to pick up my kids she came outside crying saying that my kids are bad and she is not watching them anymore. I found out later that her drug addict son is messing with drugs again, and she actually had him watch my kids all day! It was like 100 and my kids were outside all day long with the drug addict BIL. I also found out that her jailbird, no morals, brother moved in and her other Grandaughter who has a drug problem moved in. I will never send my kids there again. I feel like giving her a piece of my mind. I don't think I've ever felt hate for anyone before, but I feel it for her now.I hate this woman. For years I have put up with her little comments that were like jabs at me. And now this! I just can't understand why she is so hard on my kids, who really are innocent. Instead she defends the low lifes and drug addicts. I found out that the night before BIL watched my kids, he blacked out and took her car out for a joy ride. And she still let him watch my kids! I'm mad at her for allowing those people to stay at her house. I mean, she knows I have small kids. How can she expose them to that mess. My husband refuses to move. This is a real problem. BIL stopped by to beg me for $2 yesterday. Since he watched my kids all day I gave it to him.

[deelam]

Please excuse my MIL rant yesterday. I was just really stressed out. I am much better today. DH is off of work and with the kids. I will be off next week. Then my 3 year old will go to day care, full time.That will be $165 per week. My 10 year old will be in a summer camp at $220 per week. That totals $385 per week! WOW!! It's money well spent to know they are in a safe place.

On the MIL issue. Disfuntional situations follow her around. I need to cut that stress out of my life. I really don't think that us staying away will matter that much to her. She really is all about herself. And she plays favorites with the Grandkids. She seams to favor the ones who are really bad. The grandkids that are doing well are ignored.

I did good until I got home yesterday. Then I ate some ice cream. My stomach was really upset afterwards. I just think I really need some rest. But for health reasons, the weight must come off.

Todays plan is to take it easy. I will try to eat healthy, but will let myself have a slice of pizza at lunch. Today, my company buys everyone pizza for lunch. I might as well enjoy it. I'll start on program again tomorrow.

[CACruisin']

I am so sorry about MIL/BIL, etc. You are right about removing your kids from that environment. It is not healthy for them. Daycare/camp will be worth every penny to know your kids are safe. Why won't DH move? This really doesn't seem like a good environment for your family.

Take care. :grouphug:

[deelam]

I'm back on program today. Today's plan is:

I grabbed string cheese for breakfast, I was just too tired to make anything
Lunch, tomato & cucumber salad
Dinner, baked chicken & string beans

I'm feeling really tired lately. I really want to try and rest this weekend. I plan to make an eye roast tomorrow. That will get me through the weekend.

Hopefuly, things will go smooth this weekend at home. I really want to stay clear of my inlaws. Last night BIL had Kid Rock's music playing rather loudly in the yard.
The reason my husband is not for moving is that we have lived in our house for 18 years. The house once belonged to his Grandfather, It's setimentel to DH. He fixed it up just the way we like it. And the house is paid off. Taxes in our area are not outragous like other parts of NJ. I would love to move, but DH doesn't want to. If the inlaw mess continues, it will cause problems between DH and I.

[CACruisin']

Your food plan for the day looks very healthy, but are you actually getting enough to eat? Make sure your calories don't drop too low or your body will not co-operate.

I see why moving isn't really a good option. I hope the inlaw stuff can resolve itself. You really don't want your children in that environment. I don't suppose there is any chance that they would move? (That would be too easy, I know.)

I hope you are getting to take it easy this weekend.

[deelam]

I really have too much stress in my life. It's making it hard to stay on induction. I'm trying to refocus myself today.

I have cheese for breakfast
For lunch--some chicken salad
Dinner-I don't know, maybe a big salad

I'm actualy reading up on the South Beach diet. I think I want to try it.

GET READY FOR A MIL RANT
I stated before that MIL grandaughter (Stacy 18 years old), has a drug problem, and she is staying next store. Her parents kicked her out. About 5:30PM she called me up asking for $20. She said that her and some friends were driving about 1&1/2 hours away to the Jersey shore. I said no. I told her I would not let her kill herself with my money. I told her to call her parents and ask them to call me and let me know it's ok to give her money. She wouldn't do that. Her parents are so upset over what she is doing. They have been telling me never to give her money for months. After denying her the money my MIL calls me from shopping telling my to give her Granddaughter(Stacy) $20 and MIL will pay me back. I refused, telling her I'm not helping anyway in supporting her drug habbit. MIL was mad. Insisting that Stacy is doing good. To this I said, weeks back Stacy told me she has a drug problem. She listed at least 10 drugs that she is taking, including crack. Then I said to MIL that I know Stacy hasn't been coming home most nights, and a few nights ago she came home at 3AM and went into the back yard with a boy, hugging and kissing and lord knows what else. I said to MIL, "this is doing good to you" Then I called Stacy's Mother and told her that MIL is giving Stacy Money against their wishes. I told her that it is likely that MIL will hide everything from Stacy parents. I also told her that staying with MIL is the worse thing that could happen to their daughter. She won't get better staying there. So MIL is mad at me, Stacy is mad at me. Stacy parents love me to death.

Is it any wonder that I ate a pint of chocolate, peanutbutter ice cream? I also could not sleep last night. That is the 3rd night in 2 weeks that I slepted less than 2 hours. It's like when I lay down my mind starts rushing and replaying everything. I've never felt anything like this before. I've never had such a hard time sleeping.

[deelam]

WOW! this is my 1000 post!

I did good yesterday. I ate light. I slept well too. I am not even going to answer the phone if my Inlaws call from next door. I didn't answer the phone yesterday, it was most likely one of them(druggies) wanting to beg me for money. I didn't answer. I am truly done and I feel good about it. It's time to focus on me. I will try to not focus on the home problems. My poor sister had to listen to me for 3 hours on the phone Tuesday night. I can see why I haven't been able to stay on any healthy eating routine. It's stress. So starting today, My new goal is to care about myself more than anyone else, and not get involved in stressful things. I will shut my door to it all. It's not my problem. Yesterday was good. I read up more on the South Beach diet and I am going to try it. So today is day 2 of phase 1.

Todays plan
Celery breakfast
Lunch--very large grilled chicken ceasars salad. I'll skip the dressing and just eat the chicken and salad.
Dinner-A little undecided. I'm thinking of eggs and green peppers.

I want to make a chicken soup. I'm going to try and find a recipe that will work with South beach. I think with cerely, and maybe cauliflower I could make a hearty soup and wouldn't even miss the noudles. I'll google it.

[deelam]

I did great yesterday! This weekend I plan to make some low carb meals to have on hand. Still no induction type headache. I have off work for the next 10 days. I plan to redo my son's room. After, I want to head to the Jersey shore for a few days. By the time I get back to work I will be past the induction phase and into the weight loss, hopefuly!

Todays meals
Breakfast--2 scrambled eggs
Lunch--the rest of my huge chicken ceasars salad from yesterday
Dinner-not sure yet, maybe filet migon on the grill

[CJK]

Sounds like you're on a roll again! Like you, I find journalling a tremendous help. I hope you have a great time at the Jersey Shore. Hope you have a great weekend of fun and healthy choices. I'll try to do the same!!!

[deelam]

I'm doing well on the diet. I haven't cheated at all in 4 days. Before that, while on vacation I ate very lite. It was like 100 degrees in NJ last week and I didn't feel like eating much. But now I feel good. I feel good enough to weigh myself. I may do that tomorrow morning.

I'm still having problems with finding shirts that fit that I look well in. I can't wait until I shrink down a size. I have my yearly OBGYN appointment in 3 weeks. I'd like to be down a size by then in the chest area.

My new goal is to start walking. I need to do that for my BP. I haven't been diagnosed with high BP, because I don't go to the doctor's. I went to several differant doctors after breaking my ankle and everytime, my BP was extremely high. I will try the walking and diet to lower it, and when I go to the OB, I'll talk to her about my BP. I am even wondering if I should be on the pill. That could be part of the problem.

On the MIL update, she had to go to the hospital last week for chest pains. The same day I left for the Jersey shore. We went to the shore anyway. I guess the stress of her household got to be too much for her. As the Ambulance was taking her away she asked me to hide her handbad in my house. She made sure she put her valuables in her handbag before the ambulance came. She is ok and out of the hospital. She still has the same stress, and everyone is fighting in her family. It is a very difficult situation for her. It's hard when a child and a Grandaughter turns to drugs. It really is like a roller coaster ride for everyone.

[deelam]

Still feeling good and sticking to my plan. Now I got a new long term goal. I have a big family reunion in April 2007. It's a weekend long thing at a fancy hotel in Philadelphia. I'll see many family members that I haven't seen in years. I want to loose 50LBS by April. It's sounds really hard when you think of loosing 50LBS. I have to break it down to loosing 7Lbs a month or something like that.

I didn't weigh in today. I will tomorrow. I feel great, not hungary and no headache. You know when you start induction, you really feel pretty crappy the first week, and then the second week you feel really good and get a burst of energy. It's only day 5 and I got that burst of energy. I just got to stay motivated. It's funny, I usually get a very bad headache the first week. This time I didn't get the headache. I guess that is a reason to weigh myself, to make sure I'm loosing.

Today's plan
2 slices of cheese and 2 pickles for breakfast-I really had no time
Lunch-baked chicken with green peppers
Dinner-roast pork & greenbeans
Snack-salad

[deelam]

Yesterday I said how great I feel with no headache. Well, today I feel like crap and have a headache. I guess I jinxed myself. I did weigh myself. I'm at 220. I woke up hungry this AM and weighing myself actualy made me loose my appetite. Todays plan

Breakfast--no time ate cheese
Lunch--I'm starting to get hungry now(9:30AM) I might pick up a
rotissore chicken and hopefully not eat the whole thing
Dinner-either I'll be too stuffed from lunch or I'll eat chicken and a salad

Weekends are usually tough. I will try to cook up some Lunches for the week.
I think being prepared with good food onhand is the key to sticking to this diet.

[CJK]

Good job! Planning ahead is key isn't it? I too find weekends difficult, so I need to plan as many meals as I can. Grilled chicken on the bbq seems to be a real staple for me while dh has burgers. Hope you feel better soon and have a great weekend!

[deelam]

Thanks CJK for the words of encouragement.

I stayed on my diet plan all weekend. I really did allot of cleaning this weekend. I got a real workout. I jumped on the scale this morning and I'm down 2LBs from friday. I should have weighed myself when I first went on the diet so that I could truly track my weight loss. I feel that I'm down quite a bit since I started over a week ago.

Todays plan
Breakfast 3 slices of bacon--not the best choice-but so good
Lunch-3 slices of swiss cheese & 3 slices of healthy choice ham
Dinner-steak, salad, & grean beans

This is all so non south beach. South beach is the direction I want to go, but I need to get through the 2 week induction first. Then maybe I can switch onto phase 2.

[CJK]

Congrats on the weightloss!! :cheer2: Good job keeping on the plan during the weekend! Weekends are always the hardest for me.

I'll be interested to hear what you think of the South Beach diet after you've been on it for a while. I've heard of people being successful on it, but don't know much about it myself.

Have a great week!

[deelam]

I'm still sticking to the diet-no cheats. This Sunday will be 2 weeks and the end of induction. I may stick with induction a little longer then I'm switching to South Beach. I got a good print out of the South Beach diet plan that makes the diet basics seem pretty simple.

Today--
BF bacon--So good but so bad
Lunch-low carb peanut butter on celery
Dinner-steak & mushrooms

The good thing about low carb is that I'm not hungry at all. I no longer crave anything. One scary thing I did was I got in on a deal from Omaha steaks. This deal was posted on the Budget Board. I got 3 free $25 gift certificates by taking surveys. Instead of ordering low carb meat, I ordered all cakes and potato dishes. My orders will be delivered early next week. I plan to freeze everything, I'm not sure if it will keep until Thanksgiving or Christmas. I have no idea what I was thinking when I placed my orders. I think I went insane for a little while.

[deelam]

I'm down 2 more LBS. That's a total of 4LBS since last friday--so it's 4 for this week.

Todays plan
BF--1/2 ham steak--I was hungry this AM
Lunch-big chicken ceasars salad
Dinner--Philly style Cheese steak without the bun

This weekend will be tough. We are going back to the Jersey shore for the weekend. I just have to stay away from the Fudge and other goodies on the Boardwalk. We will be in Wildwood NJ, and it's such a fun place. The boardwalk is huge with soo many food places. I've got to be good. I will be so mad at myself if I screw up.

[CJK]

Congrats on the weightloss!! :cheer2: :cheer2: Wow - you're doing great! Good luck this week with all those temptations! I'll be in your situation next week. Have fun!

[deelam]

Well, I slipped this weekend. I went off program Saturday, Sunday & Monday. The sea shore broke my dieting spirit. I didn't go overboard too much. I ate pizza, and a cheese burger on the boardwalk. No icecream or fudge though. Then I had pasta yesterday. We are going back to the seashore this Friday through Sunday. This will be our last trip of the summer.

I'm back on plan today.
BF scrambled eggs
Lunch Salad
Dinner Roast pork and Green beans

We did allot of walking at the seashore. Hopefully, that helped to offset my poor food choices.

[CACruisin']

Just catching up ... Great job with the 4lb loss!!

Don't worry about your weekend indulgence. Sounds like your body wanted some carbs. It is great that you passed on the ice cream and fudge!
Have a great week.

[deelam]

Thanks for the kind words. I feel good that I jumped right back on the diet after my slip. Yesterday went well. The good thing that I've been trying to do is not eat past 6PM. Since being on the diet plan I've stuck to that. (Except when I was at the shore.) I still need to step up the excercise.

Todays plan
BF--bacon
Lunch large salad and cheese
Dinner-baked chick and green beans

[deelam]

Still on my diet. I feel good with plenty of energy. I will weigh myself tomorrow. I don't expect to lose because I went off the diet last weekend. Now we are going back to the shore this weekend. I'm not sure what I will do, but I want to stay on program.
I really need to lose this weight. I went back and reread my whole journal this morning. It's amazing how much effort I put in to losing weight, and then I go off and gain all the weight back. I've been working hard and I'm the same weight that I was in May. I think they call this YO-YO dieting. I really need to break this cycle.
My omaha steak orders came. I put them all in my big freezer. I ordered all cakes and potato dishes in a moment of madness. This stuff will stay in my freezer until at least the end of October. Then maybe, I'll invite people over to dinner and use it up.

Today
BF Bacon
Lunch big salad & cheese
Philly style cheese steak with the bun

[CACruisin']

Don't be frustrated about weighing the same as in May. I think we are all suffering from summer digressions. Look at this way - you haven't made a net gain since May. In the past would this have been true? You know all the right things to do and when you slip up, you can just start over again.

Have a great time at the shore. You did great last time avoiding the sweets. Can you take a walk along the beach? This would get your exercise in and help counteract some of that yummy boardwalk food.

[CJK]

I agree with everything CACruisin' said! :thumbsup2 While I understand your wish to be lighter on the scale, you haven't gained weight. Until this summer, I consistently gained weight for 2years (about 50lbs). My weightloss has been slower than I wanted, but at least I broke that upward trend. It sounds like you're doing the same. Good for you! I applaud you for NOT giving up. With that determination, you'll see results. Have a fun weekend!!

[deelam]

Well, I really went off and ate badly down the shore. I did do allot of walking. So that helped. I weighed myself and I'm still at 216. SO I didn't gain. I got right back to eating right when I came back Monday. I'm staying on induction a little longer to rid my system of sugars from this weekend. I really got to stay focused on my goals. My first goal is to be at 210 by back to school night September 20th. When I reach that goal, I'll make a new goal for my birthday in October.

BF 2 scrambled eggs
Lunch salad
Dinner-steak & green beans

One good thing is I don't have anymore shore trips planned. So, the temptation will be less. Labor day is a good holiday for low carb diets. I should be okay. Weigh in will be Friday. I'm hoping for a 2LB loss.

[goldcupmom]

Just keep on keepin' on! You're on the right track & doing well.

Have a great rest of the week!

[CJK]

Sounds like you're doing well! You didn't gain weight, kept up with your walking and now that you're home, you're getting right back into weightloss mode! Way to go!!!!

[deelam]

I'm doing good. I haven't been hungry and I'm eating small portions, and not eating past 6. If not for anything else, I don't have heart burn like before.

Today's meals
BF 2 scrambled eggs with LOW CArb ketchup--I need to add some flavor
Lunch--chicken
Dinner-stir fry with beef


My stress level is on the rise at home again.
It's been a little crazy next door at MIL's. Brother-in-law bought a big bottle of vodka and decided to drink it with niece (18). MIL found out and took the bottle away and dumped it down the drain. BIL freaked out and took all MIL's money from her handbag. Now BIL is living in the garage. Unfortunately for us, their garage sits very close to my house, it is right near my kitchen. So we get to view BIL as were are eating dinner, or just sitting around the table. BIL is like a time bomb ready to explode. I really worry that he will rob us, or even rob my mailbox for preapproved credit card stuff that always comes in the mail. The only good thing is BIL hasn't started to blast Guns N Roses or Kid Rock music yet.
IF BIL doesn't straighten up, he will problem end up back in jail. He is like a time bomb, will he go to jail before he explodes?

[CACruisin']

I am so sorry you have to deal with family issues again. :grouphug: Good for you though keeping your eating under control with everything going on. Stay safe and take care.

[deelam]

I really just got to stay away from the in-law problems. I keep telling myself that their problems are not my problems. It helps.

I really feel sick today. I was sick last night too. A young man that works with me has had a stomach virus all week. This young man is getting married this weekend. In my office, we all thought it was his nerves. Now I believe he has really been sick. I think he gave it to me. The thought of food just turns my stomach. On top of that I think I have a sinus infection. The thought of going to the Doctor's for antibiotics scares me. I don't want to get on that scale. I really feel sick today, and I think I have a fever. I'm trying to self medicate with over the counter stuff. I've heard that saline water sprays do wonders for sinus infections. I will give that a try. My ragweed allergy isn't helping. MIL is purposely growing ragweed in her back yard. She said she wants to see how high it will get.(I should sneek out there with weed killer)

No Food this am
Lunch--maybe broth, or something like that
Dinner-???? broth, or maybe soup-I'll give in to a few carbs if I need too.
I have a pack of crackers, that I will nibble on If I need something solid.

I'll just hold on for a better tomorrow.

[CJK]

So sorry to hear about all of your family issues. :grouphug: Sending you lots of pixie dust. I hope you feel better too. Try to take some time to take care of YOU today. You deserve it after all of your hard work. Do take care of yourself and here's to a better tomorrow! :sunny:

[CACruisin']

:grouphug: Hope you are feeling better today. So sorry about your in-law problems. Does your MIL know you are allergic?

[deelam]

I feel much better today. Thanks to all who wished me well. I had no energy all weekend. Then both kids got sick, so I had 2 sleepless nights.
Things have settled down a bit at the in-laws. They let BIL back in the house. I still say it's a time bomb.
MIL knows that I'm allergic to weeds, she is not very sympathic. She insist on doing an experiment to see how high her weeds get. She doesn't believe her weeds are causing my alergy problems! I can't wait to spray her yard with weed killer.
My diet could have gone better over the weekend. But today is a new day.

Today
BF eggs
Lunch-salad
Dinner-philly cheesesteak no bun

I had to cancel my yearly OB visit for tonight. So,I'm now all messed up on Birth control. I should have started a new pill pack Friday, but I didn't have any refills left. I'm way too heavy to even consider having another child, so I will have to call the DR today.

[CJK]

I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better. When you feel well, it's often easier to tackle all that life is throwing our way. Hope you can get out that weed killer soon! ;)

[CACruisin']

Glad you are feeling better and the kids are better too. Can your OB call in a refill at least for a month for you?

You have a good attitude about today being a new day!! You can do it!

Go weed killer .....

[deelam]

More excitement last night. DH gave Neice $40 for her birthday. I had it on the counter and had planned to get her a gift cert since her parents don't want her to have money. DH forgot. Neice has a substance abuse problem and I promised her parents I would never give her money. Neice went out with Crazy BIL and stayed out all night, most likely spending all her money on drugs. Neice has been hanging out with BIL allot. MIL has been stressed out. In addition to hanging out with drug abusers Neice had big hickeys all over her neck. Last night after BIL and niece went out, MIL had chest pains and had to go to the hospital. She was admitted. I called sister in law and let her know whats happening. She refused to talk to MIL. They haven't talked in about 6 weeks. SIL is planning to drag neice out of MIL's house today and make her come home. There will be a big fight( and a possible fist fight). I'm sure of it. I'm torn between just going out to the mall or sitting on my porch and watching all the action like watching a movie. But if I stay home, they may all come running to me for help. One thing is for sure, MIL does not need this stress. This is the 3rd hospital visit in 3 months.

The diet went well.
I really need to start walking again. I think that is really the key for me.

Today
Scrambled egg in low carb wrap
Lunch Weight Watcher low carb
Dinner-steak & mushrooms or something at the mall

My carb count is a litle higher today. I really needed a wrap this morning. That was 8 carbs. The WW low carb is also 8 carbs. I'll be about 25 to 30 carbs for today.

I still haven't called OB Dr for refill. I'll have to do that today. It's not a good time to have a "little accident" come along.

[deelam]

Yesterday was a calm day at home. MIL still in hospital. None of her kids went to see her. I was going to go, but I had the cable guy coming and really needed to be home. At least I called MIL and told her that I'm there if she needs me. I called SIL to ask her not to come to MIL's house to drag druggie neice (her daughter) back home. I really had a fear that SIL would get attacked by BIL. I called my Druggie neice to tell her Grandmom was in the hospital. Neice was mumbling badly over the phone. I really couldn't understand hardly anything she was saying. I'm not sure if this is from partying or what. The bottom line is neice is staying somewhere else for a few days, she left. I'm not sure why niece decided to stay elsewhere. I keep saying to myself their problems are not my problems. It helps keep me calm.

I stuck to my diet plan yesterday. It feels good to eat right.
Today I woke up very tired. Boss at work is out, so I had to go in extra early to fill in. In work at 6AM and I got up at 4Am. I just didn't have any desire to eat this morning. It was way too early. So I brought a low carb wrap with low carb peanut butter on it to eat later in the morning.

Todays plan
BF low carb wrap with low carb peanut butter
Lunch-weight watcher low carb
Dinner-maybe pork chops on the grill with greanbeans

Since school started my days and nights are crazy. I do so much laundry. I did a load last night, and have like 2 more loads for the weekend. Next week starts all the running around, band, artclub soccor, not to mention dinner and homework. DH helps a little, make that very little.

[goldcupmom]

I think we must be related!!! Your life sounds so crazy like mine. I can certainly relate, way too well!! (except for the Birth Control issus - we took care of that as DH 38th BDay present :rotfl2: )

I hope things calm down a bit for you & you can have a bit of you time this weekend.

Hang in there - it seems to be what we do best!!!

[CJK]

Oh dear! Sorry to hear about all you're going through. I hope you'll have time in between these conflicts and laundry to do something for yourself this weekend. GREAT job at maintaining your eating plan with all that's going on. Keep up the great work!!

[CACruisin']

:cheer2: :cheer2: You are doing such a good job staying on plan when you are going through so much. You are taking charge of what you can control and that is your own eating and family. You are right about their problems are not your problems. You can not control them. :grouphug:

[deelam]

I did okay until last night. I gave in to candy corn. I don't know what came over me.
We had a family party yesterday (DH side). DH brought DS10 & DS3. I arrived later. When I got there DH really wasn't watching my 3 year old. DS3 was in the back yard with the dog. The dog kept knocking down DS and humping him. I don't think anyone was paying attention to what was going on. Thank god I arrived when I did. I was so stressed, no wonder I ate candy.

It's 9/11, I really thought about taking off and heading up to NYC to go to the tower site. My Mom lost a cousin there. But that isn't really the reason. I barely knew her cousin. I have 2 dear cousins that got caught up in all the mess after the collapse. But they are fine. During the attacks, I managed to get my friend in NYC on the phone. It was horrible to hear her talk about everything as it was happening. We were both so upset. The hard part was her telling me about the people jumping from the towers. Some of the people were holding hands as they jumped. Maybe I'll go up this weekend. My Mom really wants me to take her up. My Mom has been sick and needs to see a lung specialist. We are all scared to death for her.

MIL is still in the hospital. She had A-Fib and they are treating her with blood thinners so that she doesn't have a stroke. I forced DH to call her Friday. He talked to her for a minute then handed the phone to me. MIL took the time to tell me everything I'm doing wrong in my life, she insist all I ever feed my kids is pizza, and that isn't true. SHe started telling me that both of my kids are going to be fat (both of my kids are skinny and eat very little). It just went on and on.

Todays plan
BF -small piece of chicken
Lunch-large salad
Dinner-bunnless hamburgers

[CACruisin']

:grouphug: Just take everything day by day. Maybe you should not call MIL. She doesn't sound like she is very nice to you. She is the one growing the ragweed too, right? Maybe this is just one person you don't really need in your life right now. She doesn't seem to be a positive influence for anyone.

[deelam]

Thanks CACruisin, you are correct. I need to stay away from MIL at all cost. I need all the support I can get in dealing with her. I've got to not get involved in what happens next door. It's not my problem.

MIL never did come home from the hospital. BIL & druggie niece came home next door at 4AM. They were locked out and made soo much noise it woke me & DH up. FIL let them in. We could hear BIL yelling F words. And then we heard something break. It sounded like he busted out a window. FIL is 76 years old and had to put up with this. I have been saying it's not my problem all morning. I wouldn't even let myself look next door this morning to see if windows were broken. I really wish SIL would take druggie neice home. It's just not good to have her around BIL. It's like, as a team they are stronger. I'm feeling allot of anger towards SIL & drugger niece. I feel anger towards SIL's husband too. He is the stepdad to druggie neice. He told me he would leave SIL if niece came home. But, with MIL near having a stroke and FIL being put through all this, I think they should handle druggie niece. It's their problem. When I told DH this, he told me to stay out of it. I will, IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM.

I broke down again last night and ate a few potato chips. Right back on the healthy eating program today. This Thursday at work is Sub day. The company buys everyone sub sandwiches. Maybe if I eat the lunchmeat and avoid the roll I can make it through.

I haven't weighed myself, but I noticed that my shirts are a little looser and my ankles thinned out some. I think I have been retaining large amounts of water and doing low carb has helped get rid of the water. I need to get out and walk.

Todays plan
BF 2 scrambled eggs
Lunch large salad
Dinner-roast pork & green beans

[CJK]

:grouphug: I think you need to repeat to yourself over and over again that it's "not your problem". I know that's hard to do, but for the sake of your sanity and health, it's worth it. Hang in there. Good for you for keeping your eye on the prize of healthy living. Congrats on the looser clothes!!! That's the best feeling of all! Hope your week goes well and that you get through sub day okay!

[deelam]

Yesterday was a crazy day. Crazy BIL tried to kill himself a couple of hours before MIL came home from the hospital. There was blood all over. His wound was not life threatening. Druggie niece called the police and they took him away. I have no idea where BIL is now. Niece now wants to kill herself too. Niece's sister, the good niece, came over my house crying last night. She loves her sister so much but can't get through to her. But she spilled the beans on what druggie niece is doing. Which is about every drug under the sun, including herion and cocaine. It's just a sad somber day today. We are all worried about them both. MIL is soo sad. I actualy called SIL and told her to call her mother. I said that out of respect she should call her. It's just so sad. All this is heading for a tragic end. I know it's not my problem, but it's so hard to watch.

I stayed on plan yesterday. Except for taking 2 Tumms. I also weighed myself. I'm still at 216. SO all the cheating I have done and I haven't gained any weight. I feel very good about that.

Today
BF Bacon
Lunch low carb weight watchers
Dinner-not sure yet, maybe a Philly cheese steak without the bun

Tonights activites will be homework, cook dinner & clean up, do a load of wash, and go to band meeting. My 10 year old wants to join the school band to play the trumpet! This should be fun.

[deelam]

I did well last night. It was a good turnout for the band meeting last night. DS is really into it. He changed his mind from the trumpet to the sax.

Todays meal plan

BF bacon
Lunch--sub day??? I will try not to eat the roll. I just hope insanity doesn't set in.
Dinner-no clue, I really want to go to the outback. They have very low carb friendly food. I guess it all depends on how I make out at lunch.

On a side note, I really feel good and secure about saying I'm done with the problems next door. As a matter of fact I'm done with SIL too. I don't want inlaws calling me with any problems, and I will tell them if they call again. I really think they take advantage of my good nature. It's always about them and their problems, never about me. My world could be colapsing and I don't think they would even notice.(maybe MIL would just so she could blame me for it) Last night MIL told me she didn't know if she should believe good niece's confession on what druggie niece is doing. I just can't deal with MIL anymore. I called SIL's house to give her drug rehab info, I left a message. SIL's never called me back, instead her husband called and I gave him the message. It really dawned on me how selffish SIL is. I have 20 years worth of history with her and know how selfish she can be. I'm not getting involved anymore.
So, for once I am going to be strong and be done with it all. My family is too important to me to get wrapped up in inlaws problems anymore.
My new goal is not only to get fit, it is to be strong and focus on what's best for my family and avoid other people's problems.

[CJK]

Bravo!!!! I love your new goal of focusing on family and not getting involved in other peoples' problems! I should follow your lead! :rolleyes:

How did sub day go? Hope you're having a wonderful weekend!

[CACruisin']

As CJK said, BRAVO! Keep your focus on your family and you. That is what really matters. That is where you need to spend your energy and time.

Hope you are having a great weekend. :sunny:

[deelam]

Well my food choices haven't been good. Sub day started my downfall, eventhough I didn't eat the roll. We had a small football party yesterday during the eagles/giants game. I grazed all day on party food, had a meatball sandwich. Plus a had a couple of beers. But l was just as bad on the days leading up to Sunday. I plan to start walking tonight. My ankle that was broken still bothers me. I'm not sure if the torn ligaments or the break that makes my ankle feel weak and sore. I think walking will help make it stronger. So tonight afterwork I will walk.

I've done well at emotionaly detaching myself from my in-laws problems. The ups and downs when you deal with drug abusers are just too much. I'm staying out of it. BIL is okay. They held him only 24 hours! I was hoping they would hold him forever. If anyone ever needed to be committed, it's him. I found out that his wound really wasn't that bad. It couldn't have been a serious attempt to kill himself. But his timing was awful, with MIL coming home from the hospital. These druggies never think of others, it's all about them. I just need to be done with their mess. SIL seems to have done well on turning her back, even though it's her daughter with the drug problems. She hasn't been over to see her Mother she she was released from the hospital or check on her daughter at all. Selfishness must run through their family.

Todays food
BF chicken and a pickle--that is want I wanted
Lunch-chicken and pickles-so yummy from breakfast, I packed more
dinner-bunnless burger & salad

[CJK]

Your food plan sounds great for the day! It's important to eat what you enjoy, so if you want chicken & a pickle for breakfast, go for it!!!

I still can't believe what is going on next door. It must be very difficult, but remember your goal of focusing on you and your immediate family. The rest will take care of itself. Have a healthy and happy week! :sunny:

[CACruisin']

I love pickles :goodvibes , but I really retain when I eat them so I have to moderate ...

Great job staying detached from the Inlaw problems. CJK is right. Remember to stay focused on your family and yourself. You need to be selfish in this area. :grouphug:

[deelam]

You both are right. I need to not be wrapped up in the problems with my in-laws. I feel better every time I say, It's not my problem.
I don't even want to know what is going on. I still have to work on being strong. I saw a T.V show called intervention on A&E. Seeing this druggie girl, and the way she treated her sister & family just reminded me of druggie neice and her sister(good niece) so much. I really need to get good niece to watch it with me. It might help heal some of her pain. She really is in pain watching her sister self destruct.

I did great on the diet. No cheats at all. I felt good. My plan was to walk yesterday before dinner. When I got home to change, my kids were starving. DH was busy outside. So I had to cook dinner, clean up, homework and then DS3 got into the cabinette and dumped cooking oil all over himself and on the floor. So then it was bath time and clean up. I ended up only walking around the block. But it was a start. I have a better plan tonight. I have speggetti & meatballs ready to heat up for the kids. DH will do this while I walk.

Todays food
BF cheese
Lunch chicken & pickles
Dinner-string beans & grilled steak-I'll be cooking for myself only

I really am getting the urge to start planning our next Disney trip. We may have to wait until June, when DH's work slows up a bit. DH doesn't want to go back. I have to try and convince him. I'll go with just the kids if I have to, as a last resort.

[deelam]

I did walk a little last night. I did 4 laps around a quarter mile track. It's a start.
DH messed up on dinner. DH was home yesterday with DS3. He fed him what I planned for dinner at lunch time. So when I came in from my walk the kids were starving, DH had no idea what to make them to eat. I feel like I have 3 kids instead of 2.
I have back to school night at DS10 school and DS3 daycare. I told DH to order a pizza for him and the kids. I'll try to fit in some walking and eat a quick bite before leaving for the schools.

All still quiet next door. Actually, I'm trying my best to not get involved by not paying attention. This morning at 5AM I could here the noises from BIL & niece outside. They must have just been coming home and were really noisey.
I just will train myself to pay it no attention.

Todays plan
BF-a pickles and 3 cups of coffee! Not good, I know it.
Lunch-chicken ceasars salad
Dinner-not sure, I have chicken I can grill. I'm going to start clucking soon. But I do love chicken.

[deelam]

Yesterday went well. The kids & husband had pizza for dinner. I made a Philly cheesesteak without the bun.
I did manage to go to both back to school nights. DS10 has a very strict teacher. DS10 already got a calandar mark for pulling out a pencil without asking or being told to. It will be tough for DS10, because he is very unorganized and doesn't handle pressure well. The good thing is that there are only 13 kids in his class. It's a Catholic school and enrollment is way down. We live right near Philadelphia. This area used to be a very popular location for Catholic schools. There are 4 Catholic schools within 3 miles of my home. I really expect 1 or 2 to close. I just hope it isn't ours.

DS3, his daycare had a very nice open house. His daycare actualy is a private school that goes up to 8th grade. Since DS3 will be 4 soon, I think they are really trying to impress us. They want him to stay. It's just allot of money. It would be $180 a week. Sending him to Catholic school with my older son would cost about $150 a month more than I pay now for DS10. But then you have to deal with the days off and finding a sitter. It's allot to consider since I really don't have anyone near I can count on. DS10 goes to our family bussiness on his days off. But DS who will be 4 is too young to go to the family bussiness.

Todays plan
BF 2 pieces of sausage

Lunch--I packed nothing, I'm at work with nothing but goodies everywhere. I might have to run out and buy a Rotisarie chicken

Dinner-I'm going to make a stir fry dish. The whole family likes the stir fry dishes that I make. I just add rice for them and they are good to go.

[CJK]

Wow, sounds like you're as busy as ever but are getting used to focusing on your family rather than on next door. It must be hard to do. Good job on walking the track. Hope you enjoy the stir fry. It's a mainstay in our family. Have a great weekend! :sunny:

[deelam]

Stayed on plan yesterday. I think this is day 5 on program. The headache is gone. Weekends are always tough. I will spend a good part of Saturday cooking. On sunday, we are driving to Wildwood NJ, the seashore. Wildwood has a really big boardwalk with allot of rides. They have allot going on this weekend, car show on the Boardwalk, cheap wristbands for rides Sunday, and Irish weekend. DH has to work, so I thought that I would just take the drive with my kids. I may meet up with some work friends there. Though I'm fine if its just me and the kids. It will be a fun day. I just got to stay on program.

As for next door, nothing new going on. I'm just staying away. I'm really bothered by SIL still not getting involved in her daughters problems and helping MIL handle this problem. I haven't talked to SIL, and I don't plan to. If she calls me I might tell her off. So I think it's best not to talk to her until I get a hold of my anger. SIL & I used to be very good friends years ago. We always did vacations together and hung out all the time. Once I started gaining weight, she just stopped coming around and calling. She stopped being friends. So, If I ever tell her off, it won't be pretty. At this point I'd rather be done with her.

Today's plan
BF breakfast sausage
Lunch, again didn't pack a lunch. I wish I had celery or something
Dinner-applebees-will stick to something low carb.

[CACruisin']

I am just getting caught up. I hope you had a nice time at Wildwood last weekend and had a good week. Good for you planning something to be away from your in-laws while DH is at work.

SIL is doing what she needs to do to cope. You need to do what is right for you and your family. Keep telling yourself "Not my problem."

[deelam]

I've been so busy. Between soccer, band & art club along with working full time, I just don't have enough time. I've been so busy at work too. DH never gets invovled with kids activities, homework, making dinner. I feel like I'm always doing everything on my own. I'm doing pretty good on the food. I did have pancakes over the weekend. We went to a pancake house in Cape May and I treated myself. I had strawberrys & whipped cream but no syrup. Still very yummy. I have added low carb wraps to my diet.

It's still a little crazy next door. MIL stays in her bedroom. Crazy BIL & niece were sitting out front yesterday drinking a quart bottle of vodka. neither of them work. It really makes me angry that they are both so disrespectful. I am just trying to ignore it. I'll post more later, gotta go.

[CACruisin']

A mom's job is 24/7 isn't it? It is all worth it though. Hang in there. :grouphug: Strawberries & pancakes - yum! DH makes pancakes every weekend. Moderation is the key.

Have a great weekend. :sunny:

[CJK]

Just checkin' in to see how you're doing. Sounds like you still have a lot on your plate. Just remember to take care of yourself too. Have a nice weekend!

[deelam]

I've been away for a while. It's been so busy at work and busy with the kids I just didn't get the chance to write. I haven't been as steady with my eating plan as I would like to be. I had a blood pressure scare this past Saturday. I was home cleaning my bathroom Saturday. I accidently flushed my deorodant down the toliet. It wedged in the toliet. DH is incompentant when it comes to plumbing matters. He was ranting and raving. I felt my blood pressure rising. So, I took the kids and went to Walmart. My kids were being so bad. They nearly knocked over my shopping cart. I was right near the blood pressure machine. So I sat down and took my blood pressure. It was 222 over 116. If that isn't a wake up call I don't know what is. I checked it Sunday at the supermarket and it was 185 over 106. I am scared to death. I guess I need to go to the doctors. I haven't been to a doctor in a while. I still have a hangup about getting on the Doctor's scale. I was hoping the low carb diet would drop my BP, but I haven't been consistant. I am a wreck right now.

[CACruisin']

Good to see you again! Maybe the blood pressure scare is what you needed to get back on track. Family obligations are important, but so is taking care of yourself. Are you exercising? Getting a daily walk in would probably be really good for you. It would help your blood pressure and lower your stress level. Good Luck and hang in there!

[deelam]

You are correct. My Blood pressure scare is what I needed to give myself a reality check. I have a 3 year old and a 10 year old. I want to live to see them grow up. This is a new me.

I bought a blood pressure cuff. My blood pressure last night was much lower. I just layed on the sofa, on my left side to lower my pressure, watching tv last night.(Rented the Adam Sandler Movie click, it was really funny) My goal was to get my pressure down. My pressure was 170 over 112 before bed. This morning it was 165 over 110. This is much better then the 220 over 116 reading. But still way to high for comfort. I did cut out salt, which I love. I also cut out high salt foods like bacon and ham. I do plan to start walking. I can't start tonight, because of soccor and food shopping for my mother who is sick. My goal is to walk around the track 2X tomorrow. I really got to handle stress better. Most days its like I'm being pulled in so many different directions.

BF
1 scarmbled egg
Lunch Veggies from salad bar
Dinner--Filet mignon with grean beans

[deelam]

Last night was stressfull. All that rushing around shopping for my Mom. And when I got there my Mom was in a bad mood. The stuff she told me to get her at the store, she already had. She needed other stuff. I got totally stressed out by her. Then when I got home, DH wanted me to run back out to the grocery store to buy stuff so he could make a salad. We got in a big fight over this. DS10 soccor practice got cancelled until today. The kids were starving, I made them dinner. Then homework, and DS10 was whiney because he is having problems with the whole noun/verb thing/english thing. And of couse I had to do wash, because all of DS10 black socks have disapeared. He wears a uniform to school and blacks socks are manitory. DS10 started October with 8 pairs of black socks. Now, I can only find 2 pairs. I took my blood pressure when things quieted down last night. It was 220 over around 110.
At 4AM this morning my parakeet started making allot of noice. DH moved his cage into the bedroom last night because it stays warm in the bedroom. The Bird must have freaked out. I got up and calmed him down. I've been up ever since. I took my BP soon after and it was 170 over 98. A little better.

So far, I am doing strict Atkins. It's day 3 and I feel good. I'm hoping that I see a change in my BP soon. Atkins will reduce High BP. Tonight DS10 has soccor practice. So while he is practicing, I will walk. They practice for about an hour-so I'll walk maybe 45 minutes.

[deelam]

I walked 2 miles last night. It felt soo good. I plan to walk again tonight.

Food was good last night. BP was lower at 159 over 108 last night. This morning it was 152 over 100. Stress must have had my BP up so high.

Today is Philly cheessteak day at work. I'll just eat the meat off of the roll. Saturday is my birthday. My Mom ordered me a chocolate cake. She insist that I need a cake for my birthday. My kids will enjoy it, but then I'm bringing it in to work to get rid of it. I don't get my Mom. She will tell me I need to eat right, then she will put candy in my Handbag.

[CJK]

I'm very happy to hear that your blood pressure is down. It's pretty crazy how stress can impact your blood pressure so drastically isn't it? I'm glad to hear you enjoyed your walk! It gives you the chance to clear your head a little bit.

Is Oct. 28th your birthday? Me too!!!!! If so - I hope you had a great day!! I hope you have a great week!

[deelam]

Happy Birthday to you too CJK!

It's been a crazy weekend. DS10 school had a Trunk or Treat. I went a little overboard with the decorations. It was really hard to find battery opperated lights, but I did. So I had light up skeletons around the trunk, webs around the trunk and spiders that dropped down when children came up to the trunk to get candy. I didn't win anything. But we had a good time. We had a little birthday dinner at Applebees before the trunk or treat. Mom got me a 6.MP digital Camera and a deep fryer. Why she bought me a deep fryer, I just can't figure out. I slipped up a bit over the weekend. But the good thing is I have walked 2 miles everyday. I feel so much better since I have been walking.
Today, The girls at work are taking me to lunch at an Italian place nearby. I planned to eat a grilled chicken sandwich.

Tonight is DS10 soccor game. I'll do my walking first. I'd like to bump up to 3 miles soon, maybe tonight.

Can't promise much on the food today. I just will try to eat healthy.

[CACruisin']

happy belated birthday :bday:

Great job getting the walks in. That should help tremendously in getting your BP down.

[CJK]

Your place sounds like so much fun for Halloween! :teeth: Good job on all the walking. Hope things have slowed down a bit for you this last week. How are you doing? Hope your week is off to a great start.

[deelam]

I've been doing well.I have been walking, but still at only 2 miles. My food choice are ok, but not as low carb as I would like them to be. I've been trying to eat more fruit. My stress level has been pretty good. My blood pressure is high, but down from my over 200 reading. It seems to be around 160.

I've been really busy with soccer & basketball. I went on DS10 school trip to Philadelphia last week. We went to the constitution center, liberty bell and Ben Frankin's grave. It was a warm day and it was nice walking through the city with the kids. The kids had to wear their full uniforms (shirts & tie for boys), and they looked so nice! Tourist were taking pictures of our kids. I have to update my signature with a picture of the kids in Philly.

Still craziness at MIL. BIL and Niece are both still out of control. They both make me sick.

Until Thanksgiving, my plan is to eat light. Eat more fruit & veggies, and low carbs. I plan to keep walking.

[deelam]

http://www.wdwinfo.com/photopost/data/500/65778Outside_in_Philly-thumb.JPG

This is a picture outside the constitution center in Philly

http://www.wdwinfo.com/photopost/data/500/65778s_tomb-thumb.JPG
This is at Ben Franklins Grave

http://www.wdwinfo.com/photopost/data/500/657784Th_Grade_Boys-thumb.JPG
Here is a picture of the Boys

http://www.wdwinfo.com/photopost/data/500/65778Ant_Shawn_Sean-thumb.JPG
Another picture of the boys

[CACruisin']

What a fun trip your DS had and what fun for you to be able to go with them. (great pics!) Glad you are getting the walking in - everything counts. Good plan to eat sensibly, then remember moderation on Turkey day.

Have a good week! :sunny:

[CJK]

Great pics!! It looked like it was such a great trip. Great job on lowering your blood pressure. It's a good reminder that our health is why we're doing this, and not so much about fitting into that magical small size. I hope you're finding time for yourself despite the family members that are causing some trouble for you. Keep up the great work!

[deelam]

I have been away for a while. I enjoyed allot of bad food over the holidays. Those christmas cookies kill me every year.

I started back on low carb. I have been doing strict Atkins for 16 days. I feel great. I actualy made chocolate chip cookies for my kids last week and I didn't sample any of it. I made brownies for the boys 2 days ago and again I didn't try a crumb. I just feel really determinded this time. I'm really sick over how far I let myself go. I haven't gotten on a scale, I just don't want to upset myself. So I'll keep on with Atkins. I have some goals, a big family reunion in April, summer at the Jersey shore, and I'm going to Disney in October for my birthday. I am taking the kids out of school for a week. They are young enough to get away with it. We will do the Halloween party on Halloween! And I will celebrate my birthday in Disney! I can't wait.

[CACruisin']

Welcome back Deelam and great job resisting the goodies too! :banana: :banana: :banana:

[deelam]

I'm still going strong on the eating plan. This is my 22nd day. I know I lost weight, I can feel it in my clothes. My eating plan is low carb but not quite as restrictive as Atkins induction. I am really trying to eat less, and I am not hungry. I was really worried about going to a birthday party yesterday. It was at a hall, and they had a very good caterer. My son got soo sick before the party, I couldn't go to the party. DS10 couldn't even lift his head. And every once and a while he would say "help me". I really thought I would have to take him to the hospital. He had a very sore throat and was achy with a fever. He did get a little better last night. Today I'm taking him to the Doctors. I would have been so mad at myself if I went to the party and made poor eating choice. Plus, I really want to get thinner before I go infront of a crowd of Family members again. I have a big family reunion in April. That is my next goal. To be down 2 sizes by then.

Today's menu

BF
2 pieces of sausage
Lunch
Bowl of lettuce with Olive oil & vinagar
Dinner
Chicken Fajita(sp?) Just chick with Green & red peppers, no tortilla or wrap.
The season mix is like 2 grams of carbs.

I haven't taken my blood pressure since starting my low carb diet. I do plan to take it soon. I know low carb lowers BP.

With DS11 being sick this weekend and all the housework I had to do this weekend, I skipped my Disney planning. I want to make a decision on what hotels I'm booking and weather to go through AAA for my upcoming tip. If I go through AAA, I have until January 31st, to get a free years membership as a bonus.

[CACruisin']

Congrats on 22 days of healthy eating! :cheer2: I hope DS is feeling better. Sounds like maybe he has strep?

[deelam]

Well, you are correct. My older son had strep. He also has Pharangitis.
No my little son is sick. The DR gave me an antibiotic for him. The only problem with DS4 is that he erefuses to take any meds. Even cherry flavored Tylenol. Me & DH are going to try to get him to take meds tonight.

I've been so consumed planning my October vacation. I got a code and was able to book the room at 40% off. I had to add dining & tickets though. But it still works out great.

My eating choices have been very good. My new favorite is red bell peppers. I love them. I can eat them raw, but love them in stir frys. Really, I could skip the meat and just eat them. But that wouldn't be too healthy. They are too good not to contain carbs, so I have been watching my portions.
The good news is I now fit into a shirt that didn't fit at Christmas. It fits perfect, not even tight.

Todays plan
BF--Red Bell Peppers, about 1 cup

Lunch--did not eat--to busy planning my vacation and looking up deals on the net

Dinner--As much as I want those red bells, I'm going to have chicken & mushrooms.

[CACruisin']

Congrats on fitting into the shirt! :cheer2: :banana: :cheer2: Red peppers are great. They are good with hummus too and then you get some protein. Looking at your food, make sure you are eating enough calories each day. You don't want your body to go into starvation mode.

I hope DS's will be feeling better soon. Good Luck with the med's. That's tough. I guess my kids are weird. They actually like the taste of the medicine (except cough medicine - that one they really don't like.)

[deelam]

I'm really noticing that my clothes are getting loose. Everything is fitting better. What a good feeling that is. Today is day 29 on the diet. Still no cheats and I feel great and am not hungry. It's been about 5 years since I stuck to a diet this long. I lost a bunch of weight right before I got pregnant 4 years ago. I haven't really been on track since, until now.

I got my invitation to my Family reunion for April. I booked my hotel stay. The family dinner is at a place in South Philly, Maggiano's little Italy or something like that. I have a feeling they don't cater to low carb. I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Over the weekend I went a bit over board with red peppers & stir fry's. I definately do better on the weekdays then weekends. I eat very light during the week and graze quite a bit on the weekends. DS11 had basketball Friday night & Saturday morning. He felt good enough to play again. Our team won both games! DS11 goes to Catholic school, and we have allot of school closings and tuition increases in the next year. So, it a way it's bittersweet because things are changing. The school we beat Friday will probally close at the end of this year. Our school is not safe from closing either.

Todays plan
BF 1 piece of sausage & fried red peppers
Lunch-did not pack one--may skip because I leave work early
Dinner-Filet Mignon & green beans

CAcruisin--you are lucky that your kids take meds. DS4 is sick now and he wants no part of any meds. I've tried everything to get him to take the meds. It doesn't work. If I force him, he throws it up. I really don't know what to do. The Doctor said to weight & see what happens. He will not take tylenol, so I always have to put him in the tub to control the fever. I've tried putting meds in food, but it's like he can taste the slightest amount and refuses it. DS11 is the opposite of DS4- DS11 would take anything. DS4 is the most stubborn child I've ever seen in my life.

[CACruisin']

Congrats on your clothes fitting better! :cheer2: :cheer2: Hold onto that feeling and remember it when you feel yourself slipping. 29 days without a cheat is great. Give yourself a pat on the back! :woohoo: Don't worry about the reunion dinner now. It is still months away. Focus on the day to day right now so you will look great for that dinner! :banana:

Hope DS4 is feeling better now. :wizard:

[deelam]

Well I'm still on track. I'm into day 2 of the second month, so that is 33 days. I really think I need to check my BP, just to see if I'm lower then what I was a few months ago. I should be. I feel good. A few months ago I could have been hospitalized due to High blood pressure. The top number was well over 200 and the bottom was between 115 & 120. Those are scarey numbers.

I may get on the scale this weekend. I'm building up to it. My clothes that were tight are loose. I'm starting to fit into a size that was too small a month ago. I've been eating low carb, but really since I'm not hungry I cut back on portions.

The next step is to start walking. I plan to start this weekend. I've been soo busy with DS11's baseketball games. And the fact that DS11 school might be closing. The Camden Diocese in NJ is a mess. Many schools will start closing by this Monday. We won't know about our school until June. I have been checking out different schools, and really I just hope that his current school stays open. But those are just excuses. I need to walk. I just hate the cold weather. And it's been very cold in New Jersey.

[deelam]

Well I had my first real test this weekend. My son was invited out for a playdate to another Mothers house from school. I went. I had no idea that the playdate meant a play date for Mom's too. The other 6 Mothers brought bottles of wine and food. It was soo much fun. To our kids horror, all of the Mothers got up and danced. So I did have about 6 glasses of wine. I skipped on the food and only ate about 3 pieces of cheese. And boy did I ever feel that wine! And all that dancing, yes we all danced in the Mom's living room. What fun! I am really lokking foward to our next play date!

So I ate good with the expection of the wine on Saturday. On Superbowl Sunday, I just grazed all day on low carb foods. I'm back on track today.

[CACruisin']

Congrats on fitting into a smaller size! That sounds like quite the playday :rotfl2:
Good job sticking to low carb options and smaller portions for Superbowl Sunday too.

[deelam]

Thanks for the words of encouragement. It really helps.

I must be regressing in age. Last week was the play date where I got up and danced with the other Mom's. This week, a friend calls to tell me she is taking me to a David Cassidy concert. Yes, the same guy who was keith Partridge. I was in love with him when I was like 7. Man he was cute! I was invited to another Mommy play date this Friday! I really want to go! For the first time in a long time, my weight isn't holding me back even though I know I'm still really heavy. I need to stick to the eating plan. And maybe find a low carb wine for the Mommy play date.

As far as food goes, I have to cut back on the red peppers. But I love them. I've been making stir frys. And because they taste so good, I tend to keep eating way past the point of being full.

On a sad note, a dear friend of about 20 years just foundout she has non-hodgkins lymphoma. I'm so worryed about her. She will start Chemo in about a week and she is scared out of her mind. To make matters worse, she is a single Mom. I got to find a way to help her however I can.

Tonight is basketball, so that will keep me away and busy.

[deelam]

I did well over the weekend. I did not eat much at all. I have been on this diet since Jan 1. It is now Feb 12. So it's been about 6 weeks. I have notice a differce in the way my clothes fit. This past weekend I got out some nice shirts that were too small. They fit now. A couple are a little snug. But if I keep up the diet, I may fit well into them within 2 weeks.

I also spent a good part of the weekend shopping for clothes. I didn't go overboard, since I am still losing. I did buy 4 pair of shoes. DH just doesn't understand why I need so many pairs of shoes, since he functions on just one pair.

[deelam]

I made it through Valentines day and did't eat any chocolate. Its been 47 days on the diet. I still feel good. I still need to check my blood pressure. I am scared to weigh myself. I just don't want to go into shock at the number on the scale if its high. But my clothes are fitting allot better. I have to be down over 25lbs. If I could lose 10 lbs in March and another 10 in April I would be so happy.

My food choice have been good but I need to increase veggies and water.

[CACruisin']

Great job resisting the chocolate on Valentine's Day! 47 days of healthy eating :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: You should be really, really proud of yourself. That is a great accomplishment!

[deelam]

I'm so happy...I just booked the airfare for my Florida trip. I got Philly to orlando via Airtran for $27 per person:yay:

I only booked a one way trip so far. I'm still loking for that bargain trip home.

[CACruisin']

wow - Congrats on the air fare. That is a phenomeonal price! :banana:

[deelam]

I feel really fat today. Really all weekend I felt bloated. I guess I'm a little down because it's been like 6 weeks since I had sugar or carbs and I still look heavy. Even though my clothes fit better I still have such a long way to go.
It seems like I'll never get to my goal. I have a big family reunion in April. I had hoped to lose 20 lbs by then. Today I just don't feel like I will make my weight goal. I guess I'm just feeling a little down. Just to be safe I'm staying away from the kitchen.

I been busy researching deals for my October vacation. It keeps me from eating. So far, I'm planning the first night at the airport Hyatt (if I can get a deal) We will arrive at 10 at night. It just makes sense to stay at the airport, or at least close by. I was lucky enough to get my flight from Philly for $27, but I had to leave a day earlier. That is why I took a late night flight. I don't want my son to miss too much school.
Then we go to the Nick hotel for 3 nights, again I'm looking for a deal. I don't want to pay $300 per night.
After all this we go to Disney & stay at Carribean Beach(5 nights). I got the 40% code in the mail to help with this one.

Tomorrow I'm going to try and walk. I heard it was going to go up to 40 degrees. It's just been to cold and icey out to walk. Maybe the excercise will kick start my weight loss.

Today I ate eggs for breakfast. I skipped lunch and just ate veggies for dinner. No meat today. I'm too tired to make anything. I made the kids speggetti & meatballs and I just went in my room. DH had off from work but he thinks cooking dinner is womens work. That really makes me mad, because I do work full time. I want the kids to eat something other then cereal or junk food, so I don't even ask DH fo help anymore.

[deelam]

My mood is a little better today. I actually feel as though I'm getting sick. I have a sore throat. I'm still mad at DH. He has all the food in the world to eat, but what does he eat, my chicken salad. That is always the way. He finds whatever I have hidden in the fridge and eats it.

I had a big breakfast this morning. I had 2 eggs and 4 slices of bacon. Too full after that to eat lunch. I think I'm going to have baked chicken for dinner. I'll just try to hang on and stay on track. I guess there is no easy way to lose weight. It just takes time.

[deelam]

I tried to take my Blood pressure this morning. The stethascope part of the monitor is missing. I tryed just by feeling the pulse and watching the dial. I didn't get a exact reading. But I do know my BP is still very high. My bottom number is around 100. The top number is at least 155. I don't get it, I thought Atkins lowered BP. Well, I gess it is lower then what it was a few months ago. Then it was like "emergency room visit" high (220 over 115). I had much more stress with my neice and BIL then. On my health, I have got to face the fact that I will have to go to the Doctors. I want to live a long life. My kids need me.

I am still feeling a bit sick. I have a very sore throat and am very tired. No walking for me. Todays food is a little difficult. Today is ash wednesday and I don't eat meat. So dinner will be interesting. I can make the kids grilled cheese or just order a pizza. I'll have a big salad and some noodleless soup. I ate green peppers this morning. I know I'm sick because nothing taste right.

[CACruisin']

This weightloss journey is just that - a long jouney. The weight did not go on overnight and it really won't come off overnight either. You ARE making progress (your clothes fit better/looser.) Hang in there! It seems like forever, but every little thing you do will help you to eventually acheive your goal. Great job staying out of the kitchen when you were feeling down earlier. That was a huge step.:woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: . I hope you are feeling better soon. Didn't your son have strep earlier? If you are running a fever with that sore throat, you need to get to a dr. Strep won't go away without antibiotics. Great job sticking with healthy eating even when you are not feeling up to par. :thumbsup2

[deelam]

Today is february 27th. I have been on my low carb diet since January 1st, almost 2 months. No cheats except for a few glasses of wine a few weeks ago. I'm down a size. Things are fitting much better. No one really has said anything. Sometimes I wonder if anyone even notices. I was just soo big before and I hid it well. Maybe that is why no one seems to notice. I am eating much less. I really cut back on lunch. Now I really don't get hungry at lunch time anymore.

I now have 6 weeks until my family reunion. How much weight can I lose in 6 weeks? I just want to look good. I don't want to be the fat one. I want to feel good about the way I look.

I have to start walking.

[goldcupmom]

Hang in there! I lost 37 lbs on WW a few years ago and NO ONE noticed! I went with a friend who was much taller who lost 15 and EVERYONE noticed her loss! It's just not fair!!

You're doing an AWESOME job with the food!

Your BP is still high, but it is also usually higher when you are getting sick.
Also, have you had a Dr. check your BP machine?? I bought one that was WAY off once. My current one is checked by a Dr. about 1x/year and runs consistently about 5 pts high top & bottom.

Hope you have a good rest of the week!

[CACruisin']

Congrats on staying on track for two months!:banana: :cheer2: :banana: :cheer2: :banana: That is such a wonderful achievement. You should be really, really proud of yourself. You have really made a lifestyle change :woohoo: :woohoo: :woohoo: . I'll bet when you go to your family reunion people will notice your loss. When people see you everyday they may not notice the gradual changes. Those that haven't seen you since Christmas will see a change. Hang in there :banana:

[deelam]

We are in a new month now. So It's been 2 months and 2 days! I finally started walking!

Today I'm wearing a Mickey sweatshirt that I haven't fit in for years. The sweatshirt fits perfect with plenty of extra room. It is a great feeling. I feel like I have a whole new wardrobe, but it's just my old clothes that are fitting again.

As far as the food plan goes, I have to go shopping again. I am out on almost everything. There is plenty of every type of food for the kids, but nothing for my low carb diet.
Yesterday I had a small salad for dinner with a few small pieces of chicken that I had cut up into the salad. I was really hungery about two hours later, but there was nothing to eat. So I went to bed. This morning for breafast I ate the last egg. So I will be off to the grocery store to buy plenty of my low carb food. It is such a big help to have foods handy whenever you are hungry. It really helps keep me on track.

On my family reunoin, it's been 5 years since I have seen most of these people. This is now going to be a yearly event. I want to look and feel my best. This event is 6 weeks away. I will be happy with going down a size.

My blood pressure still worries me. I had been sick, maybe that did raise it some. I haven't been to the doctors. I have been checking the BP on my own. I really need to see a doctor. I thought the low carb would control my BP but it hasn't so far. Maybe the walking will help. I'm trying to deal with stress better. My BIL and nieces problems are not consuming me anymore. BIL was in jail for breaking into someones house. He was in a lunatic's rage when he did it. They put him away a few months ago. Yesterday my son said he saw him at the video store. So I guess he is back out. I just plan to keep my distance.

[deelam]

I'm still going strong on my food plan. Yesterday, I purchased a large strawberry cheesecake for a friend's birthday in work. I did not eat any. Next week is my DS10's birthday. We are having Icecream cake, again the strawberry cheesecake & pizza. I have to try my best not to give in.

I've had little projects to keep me busy. That has curbed my eating out of bordom. I've been busy with DS10's basketball. They are starting the tornament next week. DS4 is starting T-ball. I've been busy with little league meetings. I'm also searching for a pre-k for DS4. He needs full day pre-k, and I will have to pay $$$. I'm torn over if I should keep him in his current day care, 3 days a week all year long for about $5200. Or switch him to DS10's catholic school which will cost me $3400 for 5 full days Sept-June. I really want to go with the $3400. The school for $5200, I can withdrawl him from at anytime if I can't afford it (like if something happens that changes our ability to pay). The $3400 catholic school I would be obligated to pay. I wish our township had an all day free pre-k.

[deelam]

I've had some problems since Monday night. First, a co worker passed away from Cancer. Not the one with Lymphoma, this woman found out she had ovarian cancer about 4 years ago. She lost her battle, and man was it ever a battle for her. The viewing was Monday night. I left directly from work with a friend to go to the viewing. We stopped at a place in Medford NJ called Bradocks Tavern. I had a Crab cake and a cheese pie thing that was great. Not low carb though.
I did really good Tuesday, back on plan. Then yesterday was DS11 birthday. I really felt shakey all day. I went off the diet big time. I ate cookies, pizza, cheesecake & icecream. They were small pieces but I am in shock that I ate all that food! I feel sick today, my stomach hurts. After not having carbs for 2 & 1/2 months I went carb crazy. The worse part is, being so used to low carb, I sort of lost my taste for carb heavy foods. It all didn't taste as good as I thought it would. It was just too heavy. I am back on the plan today and really focusing on my family reunion that is 1 month away. I skipped breakfast because my stomach is still upset. I couldn't even drink coffee this morning. I'm going to have noodleless chicken soup for lunch. Dinner is still up in the air.

I now need to put myself on the fast track for weight loss, for the next month. My plan will be to walk, I'll try for everyday. I'll also drink plenty of water, cut back on coffee, eat salads & take vitamins.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

No need to stress over the splurge you had yesterday....today is a new day and you can start over. That is the great thing!!! You know now what not to do next time since your tummy is upset.

You are doing great though....someone will notice the weight loss. I've noticed that people see it, but are too afraid to say something. At least that is how they were with me. I had someone tell me that they were afraid that it would upset me if they mentioned it. Not sure why it would but they were afraid.

Keep doing what you are doing and yo will make your goal!!

Have a great day :)

[DisDee]

Hi Deelam, I was reading a bit of your journal, and just want to say congrats on your weight loss to date and much luck to you as you continue your journey! I see you were at Braddock's Tavern. It really is a small world...that's where we had our daughter's wedding reception.

Have a healthy, happy weekend! Denise

[deelam]

Hi Deelam, I was reading a bit of your journal, and just want to say congrats on your weight loss to date and much luck to you as you continue your journey! I see you were at Braddock's Tavern. It really is a small world...that's where we had our daughter's wedding reception.

Have a healthy, happy weekend! Denise

Thanks Denise...
It is a small world! A big Hello to a fellow South Jersey person! Bradocks is a really nice place. A little $$$ but you have to treat yourself to something nice every now and then. I bet it was a wonderful place for a wedding reception.

Eyeore25...After 2 months of low carb you would think someone would notice. I know that I lost weight, because I fit in a smaller size. Even the smaller size is getting big. Who knows why. But it is nice to hear the encouragement here.

[goldcupmom]

Don't stress over the splurge. Life happens & you're in this FOR life!!!

Walking should help your blood pressure a lot - or at least it has for several people I know. If not, the meds aren't the worst thing in the world and you do want to stay healthy.

Hope you have a good weekend!

Hang in there! Even if others don't notice your loss, you are still a BIG winner!!

[deelam]

Thanks for the kind words. It really wasn't a great weekend. There was allot of stress and my eating choices went downhill last night. It started Friday night with an ice storm in NJ. It took me 2 hours to drive 13 miles to get home from work. Then Saturday, My aunt, who is very old, had a heart attack. It was major and she is not expected to live. They tried to take her off of the breathing machine yesterday. When they did her lungs filled up with fluid, so they put her back on the respirator. I went to see her last night. It was very difficult. This Aunt has been like a Grandmom to me. The only thing is we all realize that she is old and it is her time. When I got home last night from the hospital, I ate a big piece of Strawberry cheesecake. I really must be a stress eater. I am back on program today again. I really feel better when I stay low carb. I plan to stay on a healthy diet. I really can't stand the bloated feeling from eating carb heavy foods.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

I am so sorry to hear about your aunt....keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Don't worry about what you ate this weekend, with the stress you are under, the last thing you need to worry about is your food. Today is a new day and you can start over.

Keep your head up.

Have a great day :)

[deelam]

I have been eating healthy since I slipped on Sunday. I feel much better with low carb foods. Yesterday I had ham & cabbage. It was so good. Today will be a very busy day. I have work until 4, then I rush to the hairdresser. Then I have to go to DS11 & DS4 school for CAP training. To get access to go on school trips or be around the kids at all, you must get fingerprinted, have a background check done and go to the training seesions. I'll be so busy tonight. I won't be able to eat dinner until after 8.
My Aunt is still in the hospital. It is still very grim. She has congestive heart failure, and whenever they remove the respirator her lungs fill with fluid. She had a major heart attack. The Doctors were talking to my cousins about taking her off of the respirator and making her comfortable. One cousin just isn't ready yet. So my Aunt is hanging on.

[CACruisin']

Good for you getting back on track with healthy eating. :cheer2: That takes a lot of control with everything you have going on right now. Give yourself a pat on the back. So sorry to hear about your aunt. Your family is in my thoughts.

[eeyore25]

Hi there,

Good for you for getting back on track after your mishap.

Hope all is well....

Keep up the good work

Have a great day :)

[deelam]

I am still on track. I have been walking for 30 minutes a day during my lunch hour. It not a long time, but my lunch hour is the best time for me.

I love the feeling of being on track. My clothes look better, I'm down about 2 sizes. I am an apple shape, so my clothes always get very loose in the hips, but yet not around the tummy. But I really do look so much better.

My family reunion is about 3 weeks away. I feel okay about the way I look. That is a big step for me. I still haven't gotten on a scale, but going my what size I am wearing I had to have lost at least 20lbs.

I took my BP yesterday and it is lower. It is still considered high. It was 149 over 100. This is so much better the 220 over 115, or the more recent 175 over 110. My plan is to walk and eat right to get the BP under 140 over 90.

So my next goal is to get to a healthy BP and a healthly weight for summer. I want to be down 1 size by June. This is my mini goal. My big goal is still my Disney vacation (Birthday Vacation) in October. I want to look and feel good and I plan to get plenty of family pitures with me in them.

[CACruisin']

Great job getting the walks in. I'm sure that is helping your BP along with your healthy eating. Congrats on going down two sizes also. That must feel wonderful! :banana: :banana: :banana: I'm "pear" shaped (big butt & thighs). The waist (and top - sigh!) on clothes always gets loose on me long before the hips :sad2:

You have great mini & long term goals! You are really doing great!

Have a wonderful day!

[eeyore25]

Way to go on getting your walks in. 30 minutes is great.....don't think that it is bad. You are doing great.

Good to hear that your BP is lower.....all your hard work is paying off.

Keep it up and you will make your goal!

Have a great day :)

[deelam]

My Aunt passed away this past weekend. Her heart just gave out. She had been on a respirator for 2 weeks. Her heart was too week, she couldn't recover. She did live a very long life, and it was a good life. The Funeral is tomorrow.
I'm still walking and it feels so good to walk. I had a few little slip ups this weekend. I ate cotton candy & ice cream. That was Saturday. Sunday I went back on the healthy eating plan. For the luncheon after the funeral tomorrow, I will try to eat a little sensable, but I already know that I may slip up.
The main thing is that I get right back on track after I slip.

[goldcupmom]

Sorry to hear about your aunt, Dee. Life is really hard sometimes. Don't worry about the slip ups. Stressed backwards doesn't spell desserts for nothin'! You'll get back on track as always.

I'll be praying for your family.

Hang in there!

[CACruisin']

Sorry to hear about your Aunt's passing. Take Care!