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mojophone
04-13-2006, 09:31 AM
~~ Beauty of a Woman ~~
The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears,
The figure she carries, or the way she combs her hair.
The beauty of a woman must be seen from her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.
It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows.
The beauty of a woman
With time, only grows..


This was sent to me via email and I think this is so true of you all and I think more of us men need to realize thihs truth. :sunny: :cheer2:

pat fan
04-13-2006, 05:07 PM
I think more of us men need to realize thihs truth.
Wish it would happen, but it aint gonna happen..... :sad2:

Thanks for the post though. I may print it to look at when I'm feeling low.

mojophone
04-13-2006, 06:40 PM
The Images of Mother
4 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mommy can do anything!
8 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!
12 YEARS OF AGE Y My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.
14 YEARS OF AGE Y Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either!
16 YEARS OF AGE Y Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 YEARS OF AGE Y That old woman? She's way out of date!
25 YEARS OF AGE Y Well, she might know a little bit about it.
35 YEARS OF AGE Y Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.
45 YEARS OF AGE Y Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?
65 YEARS OF GE Y Wish I could talk it over with Mom. . . :lovestruc

Panna
04-13-2006, 08:47 PM
Thanks for the pick me up Mojo!

byoung
04-13-2006, 08:49 PM
Thanks also.

Minniespal
04-14-2006, 02:51 AM
Thanx for sharing.

Piglet843
04-14-2006, 09:06 AM
Be Happy!
It is good to be a woman because:

1. We got off the Titanic first. :thumbsup2

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. :sad2:

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. :rolleyes1

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. :confused3

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. (15 years is not so bad though :smokin: )

13. We will never regret piercing our ears

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. :bounce:

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. :lmao:

mojophone
04-14-2006, 09:08 AM
Be Happy!
It is good to be a woman because:

1. We got off the Titanic first. :thumbsup2

2. We can scare male bosses with the mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

3. Taxis stop for us.

4. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

5. No fashion faux pas we make, could ever rival the Speedo. :sad2:

6. We don't have to pass gas to amuse ourselves.

7. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. :rolleyes1

8. We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her rear end.

9. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. :confused3

10. We have the ability to dress ourselves.

11. We can talk to the opposite sex without having to picture them naked

12. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we are aware that we will look like an idiot. (15 years is not so bad though :smokin: )

13. We will never regret piercing our ears

14. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. :bounce:

15. We can make comments about how silly men are in their presence because they aren't listening anyway. :lmao:
lmdsao omg that is such a hoot

mojophone
04-16-2006, 07:30 AM
Just bumping this thread up

Piglet843
04-18-2006, 12:30 PM
Subject: Life is Funny

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a snowy, cold Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them is hurt. God works in mysterious ways.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,
"So....you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you
completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune. Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the
police...."

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with them.

mojophone
04-21-2006, 05:38 AM
bumping

Piglet843
04-21-2006, 08:49 AM
Sorry - I don't mean to take over - I just love this kind of stuff...



The many meanings of P-M-S:


1. Pass My Shotgun


2. Psychotic Mood Shift


3. Perpetual Munching Spree


4. Puffy Mid- Section


5. People Make me Sick


6. Provide Me with Sweets


7. Pardon My Sobbing


8. Pimples May Surface


9. Pass My Sweatpants


10. Pissy Mood Syndrome


11. Plainly; Men Suck


12. Pack My Stuff


.and my favorite one..


13. Potential Murder Suspect

And as an example:

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One!!! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to
change a light bulb! They don't even know that the
bulb is BURNED OUT!! They'd sit there in the dark
for THREE DAYS before they figured it out!! And,
once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to
find the light bulbs despite the fact they've been in
the SAME CUPBOARD for the past 13 YEARS! But
if they did! , by some miracle of God, actually find
the bulbs 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to
stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would
STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT
WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE STUPID LIGHT BULBS CAME
IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER CARRIES OUT THE
GARBAGE!!!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL
SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT
DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE
AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS DAMNED HOUSE!

I'm sorry. What was your question? :smokin:

mojophone
04-21-2006, 09:31 AM
Sorry - I don't mean to take over - I just love this kind of stuff...
Hope I did that right.
I don't feel your taking over at all. I too love this type of humour and sentamentalisim. I am hoping that this type of stuff will earn us some more tags and that it will get others to post humourous and sentamental stuff for everyone to enjoy. I won't let it get hurtful though cause that just ain't cool.

Tinky
04-21-2006, 02:49 PM
Hope I did that right.
I don't feel your taking over at all. I too love this type of humour and sentamentalisim. I am hoping that this type of stuff will earn us some more tags and that it will get others to post humourous and sentamental stuff for everyone to enjoy. I won't let it get hurtful though cause that just ain't cool.


Mojo I think your just an 'ol softy at heart... :goodvibes

mojophone
04-21-2006, 02:57 PM
Mojo I think your just an 'ol softy at heart... :goodvibes
Hiya Tinky, Can I borrow you to tell that to my DD7 and my DS11? To borrow someone elses statement, (from here on the DIS but don't remember the name) I am the meanest dad in the world lmdsao) but then again I am not sure I want to disabuse them of that notion :love:

Tinky
04-21-2006, 03:43 PM
Hiya Tinky, Can I borrow you to tell that to my DD7 and my DS11? To borrow someone elses statement, (from here on the DIS but don't remember the name) I am the meanest dad in the world lmdsao) but then again I am not sure I want to disabuse them of that notion :love:

Ya but thats what they are supposed to think ;) ... I'm a complete :angel:and my DD6 and DS8 think I'm heck on wheels... can you imagine? :rotfl:
We cant let it out that we're soft ... utter chaos would ensue. :rolleyes:

mojophone
04-23-2006, 08:47 AM
Ya but thats what they are supposed to think ;) ... I'm a complete :angel:and my DD6 and DS8 think I'm heck on wheels... can you imagine? :rotfl:
We cant let it out that we're soft ... utter chaos would ensue. :rolleyes:

You must have wonderfully behaved children cause I swear mine are dreaming up ways to push my buttons even while they are sleeping lol

Piglet843
04-24-2006, 09:03 AM
A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his Mom dried her hands on an
apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: .50
Baby-sitting my kid brother while you went shopping: .25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75


Well, his mother looked at him standing there, and the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he'd written on, and this is what she wrote:

For the nine months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
For all the nights that I've sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you've caused through the years: No Charge.
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge, Son.
When you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, "Mom, I sure do love you". And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: "PAID IN FULL"

mojophone
04-24-2006, 05:24 PM
I've seen two shows lately that went on and on about how mid-life is a great time for women. Just last week Oprah had a whole show on how great menopause will be... Puhleeeeeeeze!
I've had a few thoughts of my own and would like to share them with you. Whether you are pushing 40, 50, 60 (or maybe even just pushing your luck) you'll probably relate.

Mid-life is when the growth of hair on our legs slows down. This gives us plenty of time to care for our newly acquired mustache.

In mid-life women no longer have upper arms, we have wing spans. We are no longer women in sleeveless shirts, we are flying squirrels in drag.

Mid-life is when you can stand naked in front of a mirror and you can see your rear without turning around.

Mid-life is when you go for a mammogram and you realize that this is the only time someone will ask you to appear topless.

Mid-life is when you want to grab every firm young lovely in a tube top and scream, "Listen honey, even the Roman empire fell and those will too."

Mid-life brings wisdom to know that life throws us curves and we're sitting on our biggest ones.

Mid-life is when you look at your-know-it-all, cell-phone wearing, ipod in the ears teenager and think: "For this I have stretch marks?"

In mid-life your memory starts to go. In fact the only thing we can retain is water.

Mid-life means that your Body By Jake now includes Legs By Rand McNally
-- more red and blue lines than an accurately scaled map of Wisconsin.


Mid-life means that you become more reflective...You start pondering the "big" questions. What is life? Why am I here? How much Healthy choice ice cream can I eat before it's no longer a healthy choice?


But mid-life also brings with it an appreciation for what is important.

We realize that breasts sag, hips expand and chins double, but our loved ones make the journey worthwhile. Would any of you trade the knowledge that you have now, for the body you had way back when? Maybe our bodies simply have to expand to hold all the wisdom and love we've acquired. That's my philosophy and I'm sticking to it!

magicmirror
04-24-2006, 06:26 PM
I loved them all!! Then (of course) the one about the little boy and his mom made me cry :rolleyes2 (must be pms'ing) Thanks for the post you guys. I enjoyed reading, and just wanted to subscribe. :)

Piglet843
04-26-2006, 10:12 AM
I Am Thankful:

For The Wife
Who Says It's Hot Dogs Tonight,
Because She Is Home With Me,
And Not Out With Someone Else.

For The Husband
Who Is On The Sofa
Being A Couch Potato,
Because He Is Home With Me
And Not Out At The Bars.

For The Teenager
Who Is Complaining About Doing Dishes
Because That Means She Is At Home,
Not On The Streets.

For The Taxes
That I Pay
Because It Means That
I Am Employed.

For The Mess
To Clean After A Party
Because It Means That I Have
Been Surrounded By Friends.

For The Clothes
That Fit A Little Too Snug
Because It Means
I Have Enough To Eat.

For My Shadow
That Watches Me Work
Because It Means
I Am Out In The Sunshine.

For A Lawn
That Needs Mowing,
Windows That Need Cleaning,
And Gutters That Need Fixing
Because It Means I Have A Home.

For All The Complaining
I Hear About The Government
Because It Means That
We Have Freedom Of Speech.

For The Parking Spot
I Find At The Far End Of The Parking Lot
Because It Means I Am Capable Of Walking
And That I Have Been
Blessed With Transportation.

For My Huge Heating Bill
Because It Means
I Am Warm.

For The Lady
Behind Me In Church
That Sings Off Key
Because It Means
That I Can Hear.

For The Pile
Of Laundry And Ironing
Because It Means
I Have Clothes To Wear.

For Weariness
And Aching Muscles
At The End Of The Day
Because It Means
I Have Been
Capable Of Working Hard.

For The Alarm
That Goes Off
In The Early Morning Hours
Because It Means That I Am Alive.

mojophone
04-26-2006, 06:27 PM
Wow that was beautiful. Thanks for sharing. It helps to read that because it helps put life into perspective.

Piglet843
04-27-2006, 11:29 AM
We are the only one's posting - but it seems people are viewing this thread - so if its ok - I'm gonna keep on posting.... I got a million of 'em.... ;)

A Motherís Way vs. A Daughterís Way

Motherís Way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Daughterís Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Motherís Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Daughterís Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Motherís Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Daughterís Way: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Motherís Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Daughterís Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Motherís Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Daughterís Way: Celery? Never heard of it!

Motherís Way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Daughterís Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Motherís Way: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Daughterís Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Motherís Way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Daughterís Way: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Motherís Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Daughterís Way: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

scraptoons
04-27-2006, 11:35 AM
Oh wow!
Definately subscribing to this thread.
Gives me ideas for making a scrapbook for my mother.
I may use "beauty of a woman", using each line on a seperate page that has coordinating pictures with a jotted memory or two.

I used the same idea for my father using a peom called "strength of a man"
May have to do a thread like this for Father's Day.

mojophone
04-27-2006, 05:11 PM
We are the only one's posting - but it seems people are viewing this thread - so if its ok - I'm gonna keep on posting.... I got a million of 'em....

Hiya piglet843 it is more than ok and I welcome everything you have to offer as do all of the people who view it :thumbsup2

Motherís Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Motherís Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Does anyone know if these are really true?

Welcome to the thread Scraptoons!!!! :goodvibes I think it would be an awesome idea to do the "strength of man" thing. I may have a few funnys and setamental stuff about guys. just remember most of us like disney, sports, fishing and beer and um uh "adult exercises" :rolleyes:

LisaMaz
04-29-2006, 08:20 AM
We are the only one's posting - but it seems people are viewing this thread - so if its ok - I'm gonna keep on posting.... I got a million of 'em.... ;)

A Motherís Way vs. A Daughterís Way

Motherís Way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Daughterís Way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Motherís Way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Daughterís Way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix, keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Motherís Way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Daughterís Way: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Motherís Way: If you accidentally over salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up."
Daughterís Way: If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!"

Motherís Way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Daughterís Way: Celery? Never heard of it!

Motherís Way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Daughterís Way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't.

Motherís Way: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Daughterís Way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!

Motherís Way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Daughterís Way: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Motherís Way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Daughterís Way: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!


Wow very helpful I never knew these. I guess I'm more like a daughter than a mother. :blush: I am a mother O well!

thanks for the post they are very helpful for Mother's Day!

LisaMaz
04-29-2006, 08:26 AM
Here's something a friend emailed me it's beautiful.

MOTHER
This is a truly BEAUTIFUL piece please
read this at a slow pace, digesting every word and in
leisure...do not hurry....this is a treasure...

For those lucky to still be blessed with your Mom,
this is beautiful. For those of us who aren't, this is
even more beautiful. For those who are moms, you'll love this.





The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is
this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said: "Yes, and the way is hard. And you will be old before you reach the end of it. But
the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not
believe that anything could be better than these years. So she
played with her children, and gathered flowers for
them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and
the sun shone on them, and the young Mother cried,
"Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was
dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother
drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said,
"Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."

And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and
the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.
But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there."
So the children climbed, and when they reached the top
they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up
at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my
children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage.
Today, I 've given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened
the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped
and stumbled, and the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.
" And the children looked and saw above the clouds
an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the
darkness. And that night the Mother said,
"This is the best day of all, for
I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and
the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.
But her children were tall and strong, and walked with
courage. And when the way was rough, they lifted her,
for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill,
and beyond they could see a shining road and golden gates flung wide. And
mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end
is better than the beginning, for my children can
walk alone, and their children after them."



And the children said, "You will always walk with us,
Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates
closed after her. And they said: "We cannot see her
but she is with us still. A Mother like ours is more than a memory. She
is a living presence......."



Your Mother is always with you.... She's the whisper
of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach
in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand
on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives
inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.
She's the place you came from, your first home; and
she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love
and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can
separate you.

Not time, not space... not even death!

PASS THIS ON TO ALL THE MOTHERS & CHILDREN YOU KNOW.
MAY WE NEVER TAKE OUR MOTHERS FOR GRANTED...

Pass it on to the men because they have mothers too....

mickeymousemom
04-29-2006, 03:45 PM
Here's one of my favorites:

Wet Oatmeal Kisses

"The baby is teething; the children are fighting. My husband just
called- to eat dinner without him."

Okay, one of these days you'll shout! "Why don't you grow up and act
your age!" And they will. Or: "You guys get outside and find
yourselves something to do...and don't slam the door!" And they
won't.

You'll straighten up their bedrooms neat and tidy...bedspreads tucked
and smooth...toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet.
Animals caged. And you'll say out loud: "Now I want it to stay this
way." And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked
to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing and you'll say:
"Now there's a meal for company." But you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around.
No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear!" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more anxious
nights under a vaporizer tent. No more dandelion bouquets; or wet,
knotted shoestrings; tight boots, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine. A lipstick with a point. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve.
washing clothes only once a week. No PTA meetings. No car pools.
No blaring radios. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and
library paste. No more wet oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No
giggles in the dark. No knees to heal.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up."
And the silence echoing, "I did."

Have you hugged your children today; looked them in the eyes and told
them how very loved they are?


I just found this thread and love it...thanks mojophone... :thumbsup2

mojophone
04-29-2006, 04:28 PM
Here's one of my favorites:

Wet Oatmeal Kisses

"The baby is teething; the children are fighting. My husband just
called- to eat dinner without him."

Okay, one of these days you'll shout! "Why don't you grow up and act
your age!" And they will. Or: "You guys get outside and find
yourselves something to do...and don't slam the door!" And they
won't.

You'll straighten up their bedrooms neat and tidy...bedspreads tucked
and smooth...toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet.
Animals caged. And you'll say out loud: "Now I want it to stay this
way." And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked
to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing and you'll say:
"Now there's a meal for company." But you'll eat it alone.

You'll say: "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around.
No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear!" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more anxious
nights under a vaporizer tent. No more dandelion bouquets; or wet,
knotted shoestrings; tight boots, or rubber bands for pony tails.
Imagine. A lipstick with a point. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve.
washing clothes only once a week. No PTA meetings. No car pools.
No blaring radios. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and
library paste. No more wet oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No
giggles in the dark. No knees to heal.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up."
And the silence echoing, "I did."

Have you hugged your children today; looked them in the eyes and told
them how very loved they are?


I just found this thread and love it...thanks mojophone... :thumbsup2

You know, my kids drive me nuts and I do so wish they would just grow up sometimes, but yet at the same time I am so afraid they will and I know that they are and miss things already.

mojophone
09-05-2006, 05:05 PM
It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman. My name is Bob. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Debbie.



When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Debbie to get a full-time job along with her part-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work. Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her. Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think. For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean). I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods. She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the yard. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Debbie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy. Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....

Signed. Bob See editors note below

EDITOR'S NOTE: Bob died suddenly on May 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed up his ***, with only 2 inches of grip showing. His wife Debbie was arrested and charged with murder; however, the all-woman jury found her Not Guilty, accepting her defense that he accidentally sat down on it...