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flipturngirl
03-02-2006, 07:49 PM
I am not trying to be rude but I was just wondering when you are talking to a straight person like myself can you tell that they know your GLTB? Or is it normal to you all. Also do you all get mad when people do not know much about yall. I am nervouse soryr... :(( :cry:

Cheshire Figment
03-02-2006, 09:38 PM
I remember one time years ago when I was at a party and hitting on a single woman. She basically mentioned to me that I appeared to be a nice guy but she was a lesbian. I said something to the effect of: OK, I'll stop trying to get you into bed with me. We did become friends, and I was occasionally invited on a date with her when she needed cover.

To answer your question, I have never met any person who was offended when I was not aware of persuasion, but then I attempt to treat all people as humans unless they don't deserve it.

I think as a matter of course any first rebuff is polite, it is only if the rebuff is not accepted that tempers can flare.

OrlandoMike
03-03-2006, 08:03 AM
Every person is different. I know many straight men who appear to be gay, and many gay men who you would never suspect to be gay unless you were told that they were. And no, with all of the problems we face on a day to day basis, I dont think this is one that bothers many people.

T&KHayes
03-03-2006, 10:06 AM
I work for a married couple in a small business and we deal with customer's on a daily basis. We are also a in a small town and my bosses are like parents to me. My Boss Jim loves when guys/men come in and hit on me, he loves to tell them sorry bud your not her type. :rotfl: Or he says I don't think her girlfriend would like it. He gets a big kick out of it . They are very protective of me, and have never had anything negative come out of it. People say they can't tell that I am, but that once they meet my partner when we are out and about then there is no doubt. I don't really care either way. I don't walk around wondering about whether other people are GLBT/straight.

ChrizJen
03-03-2006, 11:27 AM
flipturngirl...
I'm not sure what you're asking exactly, but when it comes to dealing with other people, I don't really think about it. I don't really care whether or not they know that I am a lesbian. I agree with Cheshire Figment. I try to treat all people with the same human dignity unless they prove undeserving. A person's sexual orientation is just a very small part of who they are on the grand scheme of things. We still live, breathe, eat, sleep, dream like everyone else. We still have hopes and fears just like everyone else.

And as for the last part of your question, I dont get angry at people who don't know much about GLBT folks. The thing that REALLY makes me angry is when people don't know, don't bother to ask, and then pass judgement on something they know nothing about. I strongly believe that ignorance breeds fear, and fear breeds hate. And by ignorance, I DON'T mean people like you. You may not know a whole lot about GLBT people, but you are asking questions and obviously wanting to know more before you make a judgement about people. Kudos to you, and ask all the questions you want!! :cheer2:

-Christal

flipturngirl
03-03-2006, 09:41 PM
I am sorry if I have offened anyone. I am just a nervous person sometimes. lol actually all the time around everybody now that i think of it and i was just wondering. also sorry my question was confusing.. lol

Stacerita
03-04-2006, 03:11 PM
Geez......I thought everyone came equipped with gaydar. :confused3 Guess Im just a lucky girl then. :woohoo:

OrlandoMike
03-04-2006, 07:15 PM
Well for us guys it's easy, we're all named Mark, Rick or Steve, and we all have track lighting!

:rotfl2:

OK if you dont know that one, go rent Steel Magnolias!

Stacerita
03-04-2006, 09:21 PM
Well for us guys it's easy, we're all named Mark, Rick or Steve, and we all have track lighting!

I was gonna say that......but I didn't want to be to stereotypical. :rotfl2:

One time I was talking to my nana and she was asking why I wasn't dating a certain friend of mine. The reason was that he was gay but she didn't know that. So I told her he was a little "light in the loafers" and she told me not to be so high and mighty....just because he walks with a limp shouldn't be a reason not to date a perfectly good guy. She cracks me up sometimes.

Boston5602
03-05-2006, 09:45 AM
I am not trying to be rude but I was just wondering when you are talking to a straight person like myself can you tell that they know your GLTB? Or is it normal to you all. Also do you all get mad when people do not know much about yall. I am nervouse soryr... :(( :cry:



HEEYYYYY Y GIIIRRRRRRLLLLLLL <snap><snap> :rotfl:

I can only tell when a straight person can tell about me if they hate gay people. If a straight person doesn't have a problem with gay people I can't usually tell they know , cause they don't treat me any different . If the question is can I tell other gay people OoohhhHhHh GIiIRrrrRlllLLLl Yeah I can
:rotfl:

icebrat001
03-05-2006, 09:50 AM
Well for us guys it's easy, we're all named Mark, Rick or Steve, and we all have track lighting!

:rotfl2:

OK if you dont know that one, go rent Steel Magnolias!


:lmao: :lmao: come to think of it, all my gay male friends do indeed have those names. :lmao: :lmao: :rotfl2:

jackskellingtonsgirl
03-05-2006, 10:27 AM
I do know a gay Mark, a gay Steve, and a gay Rick, but I also kow LOTS of other gay guys with other names! Not sure about the track lighting - isn't that a bit outdated? :smooth:

So I think this thread has raised an interesting question. Can GLBT folks tell when they are talking to a straight ally? My gaydar is decent for guys, but I'm not very adept at identifying lesbians. But I guess sometimes lesbians have trouble identifying each other - at least in the case of my friend! She met a girl playing softball that she was really interested in, but she wasn't sure if the girl was a lesbian or not. They have been partners for years now, so it worked out well. :) So is there such a thing as being able to "sense" that a straight person is an ally even if the conversation isn't about any sort of gay issues?

OrlandoMike
03-05-2006, 11:09 AM
Are you telling me that you have not seen Steel Magnolias? Because if so you are dangerously close to loosing your gay ID card! RUN to Blockbuster and rent it before it's too late!

ILuvDVC2
03-05-2006, 12:55 PM
Well for us guys it's easy, we're all named Mark, Rick or Steve, and we all have track lighting!

:rotfl2:

OK if you dont know that one, go rent Steel Magnolias!

Before I came out, when I saw Steel Magnolias and heard that line, I thought, no wonder people think I'm gay... I have a gay name! A blessing and a curse, that line...

Back to the original question for a moment. What I realized a few years ago is that every time I meet someone new, I will eventually have to "come out" to them, either directly or indirectly. What do I mean by this? I'll either have to tell them that I'm gay (if they make too many assumptions about me), or I'll wind up talking about my partner Page (which still leaves them a little confused, until I say that "he" is an actor) in conversation and that's how they'll know which side my bread is buttered on. Either way, i'll be "coming out" to people for the rest of my life. Now that it's been 15 years since I came out, it's a lot easier to do, but it's constant thing in my life, as, IMHO, it is in every out gay person's life.

Rence
03-05-2006, 01:32 PM
I never know who knows about me and who doesn't. I've worked at the same company for years. My significant other works there also, in a different department, but stops by to visit at least once a day.

As soon as I'm sure that someone doesn't have a clue, they will ask me something about my boyfiend. And on the flip side, when I'm sure someone has it all figured out, they will make a comment that is obvious that they don't know what's going on.

What ever happened to the office grapevine? I figured after one or two people knew, that everyone would know within minutes.

jackskellingtonsgirl
03-06-2006, 08:34 AM
Are you telling me that you have not seen Steel Magnolias? Because if so you are dangerously close to loosing your gay ID card! RUN to Blockbuster and rent it before it's too late!

Was this comment for me? OF COURSE I have seen Steel Magnolias! And while I do know gay men with all of those names, those names don't dominate the pool pf gay men around here. I am trying to think if I know multiple gay men with the same first name...

Anyway, seeing how I am straight I don't HAVE a Gay card. But I was named Honorary Lesbian 2003 by the AIDS walk committee. It is an honor bestowed on the outstanding straight girl each year. The boys get to compete for the honor of Big Ole Queen. ;)

Tony-NJ
03-06-2006, 11:08 AM
I can usually tell is someone knows or not. Usually right off the bat - they would have no clue if they didn't know me. Otherwise I never hide who I am.

disneyfreakk
03-16-2006, 02:14 AM
Being a married ( to a man ) Bi woman, I would have to say that 99.9% of the time only people who are GLBT or just have excellent gaydar know. Although I have had people that we dont know very well come up to me and inform me that my DH was out on a date with our "friend" :rolleyes: . That is kind of weird. So I just explain the situation. I usually dont mind if people ask questions. I am honest and very open. However, I dont take too kindly to being lectured about how wrong our lifestyle is!! :furious:

RickinNYC
03-16-2006, 08:23 AM
I think I broke my gaydar.

I am the worst at telling if anyone is gay or otherwise. And nope, I have no clue whether someone can tell if I am. I do know that tons of folks usually say, "You ARE????" after they figure it out or I tell them. And then I get all smug with my butch self, thinking I'm a big bad stealth 'mo. Then my balloon gets burst when just as many folks say, "Uhhhhh, no duh. I could tell the moment you walked in the room ya big mary."

SeattleRedBear
03-16-2006, 10:29 AM
Was this comment for me? OF COURSE I have seen Steel Magnolias! And while I do know gay men with all of those names, those names don't dominate the pool pf gay men around here. I am trying to think if I know multiple gay men with the same first name...
DH & I are two of the three names. So does this prove the line?

jackskellingtonsgirl
03-16-2006, 01:54 PM
Oh, great! Now I will be sitting here this afternoon trying to work out if any of the gay men I know with the names Rick, Steve, and Mark are each other's partners! :rotfl:

Mark and Steve are friends, but they aren't a couple. I don't know Rick's partner's name. I guess I will have to ask the next time I see him... ;)

SteeleTig
03-16-2006, 02:16 PM
"Uhhhhh, no duh. I could tell the moment you walked in the room ya big mary."
AH! You just made me snort water out my nose. It hurt.

No one has ever guessed I am gay before I've told them. My partner and I are little ol' lipstick lesbos :lmao: But I'm very out, and comfortable with being out so I don't hesitate to say things like "My partner, Ava..." or to hold her hand... whatever in public.

jamieandben
03-16-2006, 02:25 PM
Don't be sad rick
my gaydar is broke to
and i cant decorate
my str8 boss tells he is going to take my gay card away. :sad1:
and he's better at being gay than i am.
who sad is that?