Problems with Family and DVC

[Figaro30]

Okay, we have bought into DVCabout a year ago with our first trip planned in November with my parents. In 2003 we are supposed to take my husband's brother's family and in 2005 we are supposed to take my sisters family. Sounds easy right??


WRONG!!!! This year's trip is all planned and fine. But now we are thinking of throwing in another trip in 2002 with the 2003 tripbeing my husband's brother's family (we'll call him Chris). The problem is that I gave Chris guidelines as to when we would be able to take them. Anytime between September through February. These guidelines are falling because of the lower point seasons and also low temperature and low crowds. I told my DH I refuse to go when it's hot or crowded. Now Chris tells my DH that he doesn't want to take the kids 4 & 6 out of school. He wants to go in March (Spring break)!!! Me and DH had a huge fight last night about going in March. I said I wasn't about to go, he said that we needed to bend for his family. I thought giving them 6 months of time to choose from WAS BENDING!!!

I personally don't think it's a huge thing to take the kids out of school for 5 days. What will they miss, 3 days of finger painting and 2 days of story telling??? I told my husband that it is their choice if they decide not to take their children out of school instead of bringing them to WDW with a free place to stay for a week and that there was nothing more that we can do.

PS i haven't heard back from Chris yet as too what they have decided. I also told my husband that if DVC turned into a fight every time we wanted to be generous and bring somebody I would just turn around a sell it. I want no part of anything that is going to turn the happiest thing in the world to me into a nightmare.


What do you guys think about this. Am I wrong to think that we bought this mainly for us. That it's just an extra perk that we would be able to bring people with us and not the main reason for owning it?

[WDWMom]

I agree with you. If they want to take advantage of free acommodations, then they should go when you go. They should not dictate when you want to take your vacation. Let them go in March, but they will have to pay. We take our kids out of school every year for 5 days. This year they are in K, 1st and 5th. No problems. They keep up with there work, have few sick days and teachers do not mind.

I think your in-laws need to learn some manners. When you are invited somewhere, you must work with your host. Not demand another time.

Sounds like my in-laws. Stick to your guns and I hope all works out OK.

[maureenmac]

When we took our nieces with us one Jan., we didn't give my sister a choice of dates. We said we are going from and to would you like to have them go with us? My sister is a teacher and could not take off and to be truthful she did not want to go, she decided one week without her 2 teenagers wouldn't be all bad. The girls missed school for a few days and they are in high school. People should be pleased with an offer for a free place to stay, especially with WDW prices. I find that some people don't look at WDW the same as DVC members, therefore what you offer them isn't as important to them as it is to us. With all that has happened in this country and the horror that took place, your husband's family should be glad your are able to make such an offer. Family and loved ones should be cherished and by sharing your DVC stays with your families, that's what you are doing. If doing this causes you and your husband to fight, then IMHO it is not worth it.

[robinb]

What do you guys think about this. Am I wrong to think that we bought this mainly for us. That it's just an extra perk that we would be able to bring people with us and not the main reason for owning it?


Nope. There is nothing wrong with that ;). Unfortunately, you have already planned to share your vacation home with your family and you're stuck. I know it's frustrating to have someone else dictate the use of your condo! BTDT! Bit my nails to the quick.

FWIW, I agree with you about taking kids out of school. But that's a very touchy subject for a lot of people. I think that for the general peace of the family gatherings and your vacation with your BIL you will have to respect his wishes about school. You'll have to bite the bullet and go when it's (1) hot or (2) crowded or (3) both :(. I would personally choose either March during spring break (save points by only staying 5 nights) or in late May right after the kids get out of school (avoiding the first weekend in June).

Good luck!

[Jenn]

Been there too! We decided to bring along 8 of my husband's family members to Vero and the same thing happened. They wanted to go in March - highest points - and we got the Beach Cottage - we actually paid 78 points per night for the trip. We had a great time and everyone loved the cottage but never again. We made it very clear that we would love to be able to spring for the accomodations again but it won't be in a peak month and unfortunatley probably won't be in a beach cottage or grand villa.

You are paying for this so you are gonna have to set the guidelines. Explain how the point system works and what months you are able to go. One other selling point - airfares are cheaper in non peak months. We paid $280 per person in March and the exact same flights are $109 from August through November.

[DanG]

Its not clear from your post what the agreement is with your inlaws (and not relevant either). If it doesn't cause you any great hardship, have you considered letting them go when they want, using a set number of points. If they get fewer days because they choose to go during Spring Break, that would be their issue. The flexibility of our point system is custom made for this type of problem.

Now, if the problem was you were supposed to/wanted to travel together, that's a whole different and stickier problem. I'd cut them loose though, since if you trip together during either set of dates, someone is going to resent the otehr. And you are right that it just isn't worth the hassle.

DanG

[Figaro30]

Unfortunately for me it was an agreement to have them come along with us. My DH wants to be able to take his two nephews with us. And so do I. It would be nice to see them experience WDW for the first time.

I already told my husband that he can take them himself in March because there was no way I was going. (of course I was being sarcastic and just a tad bit snotty) :p

DH is supposed to call them today so I can find out what the deal is. I'll let you guys know what happens.

By the way, thanks everybody for lending an ear to this issue.

[mikesmom]

I think you're being plenty flexible. Chris (with a little planning effort) could take you up on your offer and not take the kids out of school.

Anytime between September and February? At the elementary school level? There will be long weekends at Thanksgiving and MLK birthday. There will be at least a 2 week window at Christmas (Christmas week is crowded but if you shoot for early in the break or after New Years, you'll be fine). New Years Day in 2002 is on a Tuesday, most schools are out the rest of that week. I'd bet some amount of money that there will be at LEAST 2 days in there somewhere for teacher meetings or what they call "Professional Education Day" (time for teachers to go to seminars). In many districts they slap those on the end of an already long weekend to make a 5 or 6 day holiday.

You might not be able to give Chris' family an extended 8 or 10 day vacation, but I'd bet 4 or 5 days at WDW would be very doable with a little planning. And if you want a 10 day vacation? Do what I am doing next May - we're going down earlier and picking up the rest of the family at the airport when they arrive.

[chris1gill]

OMG!! Are you serious? The way it goes is this... You look at your calendar & you pick the time YOU want to go... You tell whoever you're inviting when you are going, and ask if they are interested in going!! You don't let them plan it!!

Maybe I'm just awful, but I bought DVC, I paid for it, and I'm going to use it WHEN and WHERE I want!!! If the friends and family want to tag along, and I'm so inclinded, I'll invite them! Otherwise, they can pay for it themselves....

His oldest is 6 & he's worried about pulling them out? Hmm I wouldn't be so worried....

[dianeschlicht]

WE had a large group for a GV 2 years ago. Because this was our treat to them, we explained that we could only use a set number of points, so it would have to be a week in January, February, September, October or first half of December. They chose the New Year so the children did not have to miss many days of school. I think they only missed 3 days, not a big deal for the lower elementary grades. High schoolers have a different story since they miss a lot when they miss a few days.

Our next trip with this same group will be in October of 2004. We have chosen this time because the schools in Minnesota have a teacher's union break and many districts also schedule extra in-service days for the teachers. Most schools have either the whole week off or at least Wed, Thurs, and Friday off. That way the kids only miss two days of school.

We also invited in-laws along last year. THey did not want to miss schoool either, but it turned out their son only missed 1/2 day, so not a problem.

The point is, I think you can work this out by looking at their school schedule a little closer. At the worst, they would have only a long weekend with you in WDW, but you could still take your whole trip!

[Figaro30]

Chris....EXACTLY how I feel.

The other thing I didn't go into was the other trip I was trying to sneak in between 2001 and 2003. I wanted to go down for 4 nights and stay concierge at Poly sometime around 11/02. This as everybody knows takes a lot of points for just 4 nights. With this plan, we would definitely NOT be able to do March or a busy time and would NOT have enough points for BOTH of these trips. So either I bend and go in March and discard the idea of a Poly concierge trip.....or I keep the Poly concierge trip and make them sway to my liking. This is one reason I got so upset. This would mean rearranging and CANCELING our stay with our well spent money on the DVC that WE OWN for somebody else. That makes me angry!!!

This is definitely NOT why I bought this. While it's nice and special to be able to take people with me....it's not the main idea of owning this DVC. Call me mean but that's how I feel.

[Beachangel]

I'm single & I bought DVC for the sole purpose of inviting my sisters and their families. The easiest time for me to vacation the last few years is at the end of August. I called my sisters the other day and said I'm going, if you're in you're in, if not I'm asking friends. Today I made a reservation for 10 days in a 2 BR at the Boardwalk. They're all in! Guests don't decide when they'd like to go...you've already been super flexible giving them a 6 month window.

[MiknMinMouse]

We bought our points so that we could have a stay at the GF, that has yet to happen because we always take people with us :-). While it's fun it does have it's drawbacks but we've made it work for us. Last year we had such a large group that we required one 2 bedroom and one studio. We only have 204 points (and now am I realizing how little that is, wish our CM would have talked us into more) so we have to use them carefully. Our solution was to stay at ASMO for the first 4 days with everyone paying their own way then move to the Boardwalk for the last half. It worked well, although I hated moving. This year we only have grandparents going with us. We originally were going to stay at the Contemporary and have GP's pay for their own room but really like the hominess of BWV.

You are the one paying so you guys should make the decision. They have to understand that it does cost you guys to go and points are money. We've been fortunate with everyone who's gone with us (this will be our 3rd year) we tell them when we can go and they either go or don't . So far no one has turned us down :-) And speaking from experience, with my hubby's family (not m&d-in law) who we took a couple of years ago, people really don't always appreciate just what they're getting when we take them to WDW, so why stress over what they will or won't do. Chances are they couldn't go to such a nice place without you so let them figure out how to work into your plans. Sorry for rambling ;-)

[RAD]

We're planning a big family get together for 10/2002 getting two 2BR's and three studios. Of course it would be nice to pick a time of year where kids wouldn't be taken out of school, but then we couldn't get the number of rooms that we'll need. When DS was growing up we took him out of school a number of times for a WDW trip and never had a problem, just made sure that he got work assignments to do while we were gone. Now if some of the folks can't make the gathering because of kids that's their decision and we're not going to feel bad because of it.

[TinkerbellRules]

HUGE deal at our schools! This year, they have implemented a penalty policy for unexcused absences (vacation are UNexcused). My 4th grader will be penaltized 1% per day per subject off her 9 wks grade. Not really a big deal for a 4th grader, but middle and high school students get 2% off! We recently changed our plans and are going in 2wks over fall break/parent teacher conferences, missing 1 full and 2 half days.

6 yr old... they won't miss a darned thing! We've taking our DD out since kindergarten without a problem (until this year). We've picked dates that already have some type of school break. Next year, they have split up fall break and parent-teacher conferences (3 hr days) so that people won't do exactly what we're doing this year and have the past 2 yrs. I wasn't planning on taking her out after 4th grade anyway.

I've gone in March and didn't think it was that bad, but I prefer Oct. Good luck on your plans.

[GrammieMame]

You are right in thinking that you should be able to set the schedule when you invite others. But I will say that we always go on my grandkids spring break, which is the last week in March. Except when it falls into Easter week, it's not a problem with respect to heat (which I HATE) or crowds. The weather is very pleasant and we have always found the crowds to be manageable - no long waits if you plan carefully. Good luck.

[ripleysmom]

Figaro, how about if you figure out how many points it would have been to stay in the room that you wanted in the lower point range. Commit those points to staying in March as many nights as you can and book the rest of the nights for cash.

This might accomplish 2 things. One is to make you in-laws realize how very expensive these accommodations can be without DVC. Or wake your hubby up to how much it will cost extra.

Or an even better idea is to just buy some add-on points!!!

[Granny]

Figaro30,

This is a tough one. My first impulse was to agree with those that say that you bought the membership, so you should call the shots.

On the other hand, it's easy to dispense advice when you don't have to live with it. This sounds like it could be something that gets you and your DH sideways, and when it comes to family, these things don't always heal quickly.

My advice would be to talk to your DH and make sure he understands why you think the request is unreasonable. But you might also want to consider bending this one time. It sounds like this will be the first time for the two nephews to experience WDW and they are at such great ages for that. Also, many schools are cracking down on the unexcused absences (my DD's school is). Maybe make it clear that this is a "one time" thing and you expect that you and your DH will decide on future vacation timing and who is invited.

How about going in the summer and making their reservations a cash ressie? If they object to paying that, then it would seem that going for free is more important than going as a family.

Believe me, I feel EXACTLY the way you do. But there may be more at stake here than one or two trips. You've got 40 more years of membership to enjoy DVC. Straighten out the long term ground rules with your DH. Otherwise, you may be finding yourself in this discussion many times in the future. DVC membership should be about the joys of quality vacationing. If it comes to mean something else to you, you will have to decide if it's worth it.

Best wishes on resolving this issue in way that everyone can live with.

[Lesley]

Hmmm....I don't know what I would do besides telling them that March just isn't an option. And I know how you're feeling on this one as I'd love to take my dd to WDW for her birthday sometime, but that would really cut back on the amount of time we could stay! My ds seems to be the only one who will get a birthday trip as he's in Jan!

Fwiw, my plan on dealing with family is to just pick dates and if they want to come they'll figure out how to make it work. Of course we won't be taking anyone who has kids and we homeschool so the school schedules are not an issue for us. Our first trip with family will be Dec. 2002.

[TrudyZ]

I must agree that I would be very angry after I had spent all that money on a timeshare now only to be told when I could use it. And, I think that it is not fair that you would have to give up your get-away vacation so your in-laws can get what they want.

(Now you know how people who have hit the lotto feel when the families come for "their share"--it's never enough!)

And remember, if you bend for your BIL, it will only be fair to do the same when your sister wants to go in 2005. And, if your BIL's kids can't miss school in his eyes at 4 and 6; they won't be able to miss when they are 10 and 12 either.

It appears that you are trying to be very flexible with your BIL, and he is taking advantage of your generousity.

And, I also agree--Florida in the summer can be downright miserable--we too will only go from October 1st thru May 1st.

But, their has got to be a way to settle this without causing a brawl!

I myself would be very direct and blunt (tact optional on my part). But, that may not work with you-- so here is my diplomatic response:

I would propose two things to your BIl and let him chose:

1. Go in the timeframe originally intended. Carefully look over the school schedule to minimize days off.

2. Propose that you will go in March. However, you do not have enough points to cover the reservation because it is premium season. Tell him you are willing to use the amount of points you were originally going to use, and have your BIL rent points off these boards to make up the difference (link the 2 ressies). This way, he gets to go when he wants; you still will have enough points to do what you want; and if he is serious about only going in March, I think he could "put his money where his mouth is" for the point differential. By just renting the points needed to cover the Season difference, he will quickly learn how valuable the points are. If he balks, tell him that you are still putting up the majority of the points!!

And, remember, You don't your owe him an explantion on why you don't have more points (for you getaway vacation)--that is none of his business. Heck, you made the investment and pay the dues, I think that you should get some time to enjoy it yourselves!!

If he doesn't like it, give him the name of your CM and nicely inform him that maybe he should look into owning his own piece of the magic!

Trudy

[slimplaw]

Way to go Trudy Z! Your solution sounds great. I do think Figaro is already being generous by offering a choice of 6 months. BIL should see how he can take the trip during this time or graciously bow out and say thank you for the chance, we'll try again later.

[Jeanne]

At the beginning of this thread you said that you and your husband wanted to experience your nephews first WDW trip with them. I love taking people to WDW for the first time, it always renews the magic for me. Because I figure that I am getting this bonus out of the trip, I can be more flexible about when I go. If you really don't think you are getting the advantage of the joy of family with you, then take the hard line and make them go when you want or stay home. As a jr. high teacher in an affluent area, many of my students are taken out of school each year to travel, sometimes up to 4 weeks at a time. Parents do need to realize that when children are taken out of school, they do miss out in one area, but gain in another. When my students go to WDW, I always give them assignments that focus their learning on the topic we are studying in science and have them learn where they are. What parents forget to realize often is that when you make this choice, usually your childs grades will suffer. While you understand this while you are excited about your trip, this understanding is lost when the report card is issued and your child misses the honor roll.

[wdwnut]

hi: not much advice; lots of sympathy though. we hardly ever let the guests choose when we are going. work schedules for all the adults involved tend to take priority. it is harder for the kids as they get older, and the schools are not as lenient as they used to be as well. in september of 2000 and may of 2001 we took some teenagers with us (friends of our youngest). parents and kids agreed to the missed school. in both instances, i caught a bit of **** after we'd returned about the school absences from their parents. AND i'd even made sure their homework was done! we've been taking newbies with us to wdw since 93, and this was the first time i've ever caught a lot of flak about it. we're taking another newbie teen with us in november, and i'm almost cringing about it. his folks are fairly down to earth though. your bil may not know about the differences in point schedules for the spring break. the suggestion about letting him rent points or pay cash for the difference may be the way to go.

[Granny]

TrudyZ....I think you've got it!

Much better advice than I gave. The in-laws would still get an inexpensive vacation but would have to make up the difference by renting points....brilliant!

If they turn that down, I think one would have the right to call the in-laws free loaders. Hopefully, someone with more tact than me would handle that part. ;)

Figaro30....if your DH doesn't go for this, I can't think of what else. To me, it's a perfect compromise.

Good luck....let us know how it works out!

[TrudyZ]

Granny:

It was your post that got me thinking that maybe it wouldn't be best for long term relations to tell the BIL "my way or the highway". There is some wisdom in trying to keep some civility in the family--but not at the cost of your own misery.

But, it wouldn't be me with the tact:D . I work as a sr. project engineer/project manager for major construction projects--it is on rare occasions that I must resort to diplomacy----tact just isn't in my job description! (I spend enough time trying to unwrap the candy coating off of what other people are telling me...)

If it was my BIL (who is a real piece of work), my response would have been limited to just a few choice words--none of which can be posted here;) .

Hope it all goes well for Figaro..I'll be looking for an update.

Trudy

[prplcrzy]

Figaro,

Sounds like the beef is with your husband and not your BIL. I realize he may want to go when you don't, but since you and your husband own the piece of magic that will let his family and your enjoy the happiest place on earth, how much enjoyment are you going to get out of it if it causes a brawl in you rmarraige. The issue isn't when to travel or when people can travel, the issue is that you and your husband need to sit down and make rules about how you rDVC membership will be used for the next 40 years. Then you can plan trips with no issues because the ground rules are set and just stick to them.

You should be enjoying your membership, don't let it make you miserable. I have taken people with us and we tell them we are going this week, and then let them decide if they want to go or not. Sometimes I give a timeframe of two or three weeks, not months. If you give a mouse a cookie, he will come back for a glass of milk. Set the rules and live by them, no exceptions. This will simplify your life and help you enjoy your membership.

Good luck!!!

[Figaro30]

My husband spoke to Chris last night and explained to him that we want to take an extra trip in between. With that in mind we needed to know exactly what time of year they wanted to go.

He claimed it was really hard for him to figure this out because he wouldn't know they the kids were having "tests" or such. It would be easier for him to go when they were off from school. In the same thought he said he didn't want to hold us back from doing anything. My DH told him that we were going to go ahead and plan our Poly Concierge trip for next year and whatever points we have leftover for 2003 we would use towards going in March. But he needs to know that there will most likely not be enough points and that he will probably need to move from OKW to All Stars resort mid-trip and pay cash for the rest of the duration.

I also made a point to tell my husband that it was fine to do this, HOWEVER, we won't be paying cash for our room. We will continue to stay at OKW the whole time on our points. And when we eventually run out of points for his room (which we definitely will) he'll have to pay for himself!!! He'll probably only end up with 2-3 nights (maybe 4) at OKW and the rest will be paid at All Stars.

I think that is fair. Even though I end up having to go in March.
:(

BUT I DO GET MY POLY TRIP!!!! Yeah!!! I'm so excited about
that. :smooth:


PS....I wasn't about to suggest renting points because it will just be me who ends up dealing with that whole issue and honestly I don't feel like bending that far over backwards for them. Let them just pay cash and rent a room.

[prplcrzy]

Sounds like you have it under control, good for you!

[DVCajun]

Well, sounds like this particular problem has been resolved, but I couldn't resist adding my two cents.

Most people really don't understand how the points system works. They think we get "free" accommodations, period, and sharing doesn't cost us anything. As you all know, that's simply not the case. Example: when we first got our points we were childless and so were our best friends (a couple our age). We tried a couple of times to get them to join us for a vacation but it never worked out schedule wise. Now, they have two children and we have one. A studio is no longer an option! That being the case, it really WILL cost us a lot more to have them join us, but they don't seem to realize that and have hinted a time or two that they'd love to join us at WDW some day.

I don't really know how to break it to them, but I will!! Oh well..... times change.

[MarshallMoore6]

You gave a gift to your BIL that he cannot use. You gave him a conditional gift. School is very important. You may have caused a real problem for your BIL. Should he do the right thing or skip school and go to WDW? What kind of example would that be? Maybe you should just offer gifts to people who don't have kids.
Sorry to disagree.

[GoldenPrincess]

And since it was a gift (conditional or not) BIL should have had the good manners to gracefully and politely decline the offer.

Heck, my son did that the first time we wanted everyone to go together. They simply weren't in a position to join us and he very politely declined--and he was only 22 at the time! We agreed to go another time. Three years later, we're finally able to coordinate everyone's schedule (so far anyway!) and are going later this month.

[Lil]

My hubby and I are both teachers, kdg. & high school. We are taking my son and family (1 yr. old, and 2nd grader). I plan to take all 3 of my personal business days to go over fall break. I spent about $800 of my money attending conferences and fell I can go to WDW over my two professional days. That gives us a week. The second grader will have to miss 3 days of school. His school district is very strict, and his grade may reflect this absence. My daughter - in - law feels it will not hurt a second grader......and weighs the absence against a totally paid for trip (lodging, food, tickets and spending money).

We are going during our fall break as it is the least crowded time for us. My hubby and I go 4 times a year....but don't go into the parks every time we go.

[DVCajun]

I usually don't enter into debates, but for heavens sake. Her BIL was offered what they could AFFORD. Would it have been better for them to not offer at all? In this particular situation, what they could afford was directly determined by when they went. We've all heard the expression "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" -- If he couldn't go during the times offered he should have said, "Wow, how great of you to offer, but I can't accept." The recipient of the gift is NOT the one who determines how much, how often and when a gift is given.

[Dean]

If you don't set the rules now, this will not be the last problem you have. From now on just tell them when you plan to go and invite them to come if they want. If you give them choices, you will always get negotiation and end up in a similar situation more often than not.

[prplcrzy]

Good point Dean!!!

[MiknMinMouse]

I think Dean had about the most sensible advice for all of us faced with the family dillema. While flexibility is nice, it's not always something we can do. We can usually be flexible within a few weeks. Thankfully my son is in year round school so that helps. But we make the offer, get the best week, if people can't go at that time, they can catch up with us later. Like he said if you make allowances now, you'll be setting the standard forever. Then one will say, you changed dates for so and so why not for us. Much less stressful not to get into that whole thing. :-). Besides, being a DVC owner is supposed to mean LESS stress :-)

[Figaro30]

I know I have to agree with that. I'm very afraid that people will start saying those things. The only good thing I have on my side is that my DH does not have a clue about the DVC. I do all the work with it. If I were to tell everybody that we only had 14 pts as opposed to 49...nobody would know not even my DH. (he he)

If it gets to the point that they are going to be pains in the tushes....well then that action might come into play. Basically to give them the "you need to do it this way...OR NOT AT ALL" idea.
Because I can see my sister coming back and saying....well you were able to switch things for them....why not for us. That will definitely start a problem.

Unfortunately, we'll have to wait until late 2003 or 2004 to see what actually ends up happening with this. Which is a little too long for me but, I guess I don't have a choice with this.

I am determined to make it work out okay though.

[raidermatt]

Whether taking kids out of school is a big deal or not is completely up to the parents and the school. There are points for both sides, but its the parents decision and they should not be ridiculed for it (finger painting and story telling?).

That said, it is your right (you and your husband) to determine the timing. What you have to ask yourself is would you rather go with your extended family in the peak seasons, or without them in the off peak. What is more important to you? It sounds as though you have made your decision, though you and your DH may disagree.

Either way, you will live with the choice. Should you decide to stick to your off-peak times, the BIL should politely thank you and forget about the whole thing. But of course, that's probably not the reality.

As MarshallMoore6 said, you are offering a gift that cannot be used. While your BIL will hopefully act in a mature manner, you cannot expect any real gratitude either.

[Disney Doll]

If BIL "Chris" can't find a convenient time in a 6 month time period, the heck with him!!! But don't ever say you'll sell the DVC!!!!Either keep it for just you guys to go, or invite people who will appreciate the gift of a free week's stay on property at WDW.

[sumessefui]

You are not being selfish with the attitude that the DVC is mine. You are paying to buy it, and you are pay the yearly cost to keep it. We too like to take other people with us, even though it uses points that we could have for ourselves. To solve this we did 2 addons. However, as Dean stated, when we do take others, we set the dates and then ask them. If they can go,fine, if not, too bad. It is a case of it belongs to us and we want you along, but we go at a time that is good for us. Jerry.

[Richyams]

I guess this points out another benefit of always staying in the Grand Villa. They are difficult to reserve. I make the reservation first and then do the invites. I give people two or three weeks to decide if my dates are good, then if people can't go, ask someone else.

As far as the taking kids out of school, I have been pulling my daughter out for two weeks every year. When we started homeschooling last year, I wrote myself a note, gave myself the requisite hard time and pulled her out despite my objections.

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by Richyams
When we started homeschooling last year, I wrote myself a note, gave myself the requisite hard time and pulled her out despite my objections. LOL :D

[TinkerbellRules]

LOL, ditto!

[normr]

They have alot of chutzpah telling you when to use your points, if it was me, I'd tell them, look you're getting accomodations worth a thousand dollars which I'm paying for, this is the only time I can afford to go, if you can't with us, I'm sorry.

[trishy]

I can't imagine that California or our school district is the only one that does this, but has anyone heard of "Independent Contract"? We've always taken our children out of school for 1 or 2 weeks (4th grade/7th grade this year - both honor roll students). The schools are very flexible and positive when they hear of our trips. We let them know at the beginning of the school year for our big trip and then remind them a month prior. If we take an "extra", we let them know asap - usually a month's notice, too. They provide us with a packet of work and a homework list and it's agreed they will make-up tests when they return at the teacher's discretion (time-wise). As far as the work goes, I have to admit I cheat sometimes because there is just too much to do on a WDW vacation. Most of the work gets done on the plane there and back (about 30% done by me - shameful, huh?) If I were giving someone a free trip (my family or my hubby's included), they will go when I say they go otherwise I'd move down the list. They should be appreciative that they were on the top of the list. Don't lose sleep and definitely have your hubby read these posts (and BIL, too, if he's got the nerve).

[Cru*Ella]

Maybe he could JUST SAY NO??

Puh-leeze!!!

The gift was very generous.... or should they have offered to pay all the airfare and meals too? Would that have made it a gift he could accept?!

School is important, but we are talkinging about BABIES here! Four and SIX! Do you thimk it'll hold them back in Physics class..... in 12 years?

FAMILY is the most important... so, sorry MarshallMoore6... YOU are wrong.

[loribell]

I'm not sure why he can't find a time during your offered period. My kids get out for almost a whole week the third week of October, Thanksgiving week, and 2 full weeks for Christmas. Why could they not pick something like this?

[Donald7570]

I think your BIL is being very unfair. You offered him a wonderful gift. If he couldn't go within the time you designated, he should have voiced his gratitude for the offer, but declined. It's pretty selfish to ask you to change your plans when you're the owners and you gave him several months to chose. What will the trip be like? Will he dictate when and where you will go and what you will eat? Maybe you could make him understand better, if you let him know the cash value of the size of your accommodations for the period he is asking and the period you are offering. Also, maybe if you gently explain to your husband that by changing, it will cost you so much more in points and that although you really are looking forward to taking his brother and your nephews, you really want to have some special time for just the two of you and if you go in March, you will have to lose that special time. We go twice a year for about ten days each time. One time is for family and one time is just for us. We pick the time and when we invite anyone, we tell them when we are going and if they can join us. Since 1993, noone has ever said that they couldn't make the time that we picked. The only unfortunate incident I have had is having a couple invite themselves along on one of the trips when we had already invited another couple. It happened once and believe me we learned a lesson and it has never happened again. Remember you have worked hard for this and it's for you and your husband. Share it when you chose to share it. Do not allow yourself to feel guilty. You are being wonderful by the fact that you have and are planning trips to include others. Don't let it ruin the future trips for you and your husband. Good Luck!

[DVCajun]

You know, after thinking about this again, and reading some of the other replies, a thought occurred to me. I think the problem may have stemmed from the flexibility of the offer. If you had said "we're going in October, and you're welcome to join us" he would have probably said, "oh, we can't because the kids are in school then." But since you gave him some choices he figured he might as well push for the mile since you're giving him the inch. Still doesn't make his pushiness right, but I bet that explains it. Heaven protect us from in-laws, huh!? ;)

[Figaro30]

I have to say that DVCajun is absolutely right. We were being absolutely TOO generous with allowing them to pick the date of six months time. I totally regret wording it that way. I should have just said..."we are going the week of...in 2003. If you want to join us you are more than welcome. The room's on us".

Stupid me. I could kick myself now. Ugggggggggghhhh.

The problem isn't so much my BIL as it is now my DH. If I make too much of a fuss, it will start to cause problems between us. I definitely don't want to do that.

The good news is that my DH mentioned to 2 of his friends last weekend that it looks like Chris (my BIL) is going to bail out on us (because of his pickiness in the date). So because of this he asked his friend and his wife if they would want to come the next time we go. He said he'd love to have them. (I would LOVE to have them too)

So I don't even know what's really going on now with this. All I know for a fact is I'm going in 42 days with Mom, Dad and DH. And again next October for a week with DH. Those are definite plans. I guess we'll just wait to see what ends up happening with the unappreciative BIL.

Thanks again everybody I've really enjoyed reading all of your comments. I appreciate your input.

:D