View Full Version : Do you hold hands?

01-15-2006, 10:08 PM
Do you hold hands with your partner when you are out in public and/or at Disney? We live in the SF Bay Area (very liberal) and even so, there are times when I feel nervous about holding my partner's hand.
We call each other "honey" and "sweetie" more often than we use each other's real names (ya I know..we're so mushy, even after 5 years :) ) and sometimes I've slipped in public and called her "hon". We get some strange looks on occasion.
We did hold hands and show affection on our last vacation to Disney, but I was always very aware that we were most certainly in the minority.

01-16-2006, 05:59 AM
Lisa and I hold hands alot. When we lived in NYC..in the West Village...we held hands everywhere. In other parts of the city we did use a bit of caution. Here in Asheville it is a bit different in that we don't walk everywhere. When there is nobody else around we do hold hands, and there are times when we just don't care, but if we feel that we are getting looks, or that it just isn't safe at that particular time we don't.

At WDW it is pretty much the same. We do hold hands, but if we feel that we are being stared at we don't.

As for names.....at my job in NYC, nobody knew Lisa's real name. Everybody called her "Sweetie" because that is what I usually call her. We tend to only use our real names when it is an emergency or we are fussin' at one another.


01-17-2006, 09:33 AM
Neither of us are big hand holders but sure, we do but rarely. And we do so with full knowledge and awareness of where we are. But, regardless of where we are, I still have a tendency of doing the hand on the back or on the shoulder thing.

01-19-2006, 10:04 AM
Oh, I so love that you started this topic.

A previous boyfriend and I had some lonnng conversations about this one. I wanted to take him to my favorite place on earth, and he'd never been. And during the course of those discussions, he asked if I would hold his hand while we walked around the parks.

To be honest, hand-holding in public has never been a big thing for me in the first place. Even if I were straight, I doubt I would do it. I relate to what Rick said about a hand on the back or shoulder; I'm much more likely to show physical affection in public in those sorts of ways rather than holding hands.

When it comes to Disney... well... it feels even weirder to me. My job involves dealing with conservative Christian sentiments about gay issues, so I'm painfully aware of how strong some people's anti-gay bias is. Now, I don't feel that I need to apologize for myself or my relationships, and I think their bias does need to be confronted - that's what I do for a living. But I don't really feel like a Disney vacation is the right place, and I want even the homophobes and bigots to be able to enjoy their vacations with their kids, you know? So I wasn't really comfortable holding hands while walking through the parks, although my boyfriend at the time was.

We ended up breaking up before the trip, though, and just went as friends. So it wasn't an issue. :earboy2:

On my most recent trip, though, I noticed a gay couple holding hands, and it made me smile. :) I was glad they were doing it... it just wasn't for me.


01-20-2006, 02:52 AM
On my our last trip to the World about a year ago, my girlfriend (now fiance!) really pressured me for physical affection while we were out and about. I was really uptight about hand-holding the first day, because as a few said above, it just felt strange being in such a minority.

That first night, though, on the busses back to the All-Stars... There was a young lesbian couple sitting on the bench across from us. We didn't talk much, but I noticed them holding hands, and one girl cuddled up to her partner sleepily after the long day at Magic Kingdom. It made me so very happy, and reminded me to be proud. So my lady and I stayed finger-locked for the rest of the trip! LOL :love2:

01-20-2006, 05:36 AM
We've never been much for holding hands, so its not something we really do anywhere. We've never been very big on showing public affection, be that in a mixed venue or a gay venue. This past New Year's Eve we went down to WDW and after dinner we went to the Boardwalk area to hang out. We did have our arms around each other and kissed at midnight. But for us, that was a rare display.

01-20-2006, 07:55 AM
We're spontaneously physcially affectionate and I always call her hon, but we're not so big on hand holding. On the other hand, I might give her a spontaneous peck, even on the lips. Like some others have said, however, I love it when I see (mostly) young girl/girl couples treat the whole situation much more naturally.

That said, however (how many hands do I have?), I do recall that when we were at Dorney Park's Wildwater Kingdom last year, there was one young lesbian couple that was laying right on top of each other. Yuck. I don't need that from anyone. It was very interesting, however, to watch the faces of everyone around them when they figured it out. Young boys, in the adolescent range of 9-12, seemed to get the biggest kick of it, responding with peek a boos and giggles.

01-20-2006, 11:43 AM
Even thought I have no experience with this topic I strongy suggest that u do hold hands with your partner. If u feel so strongy about your partner than hold hands. People now a days are a lot more accecpting of gay and lesbian couples and I put them equal to straight people. Also now a days more and more people are bisexual or gay and I am totally fine with that. A lot of other people are fine with that too. I hope u have the courage to hold hands more often in public. :) ~Teddy~

01-20-2006, 12:27 PM
I do recall that when we were at Dorney Park's Wildwater Kingdom last year, there was one young lesbian couple that was laying right on top of each other. Yuck. I don't need that from anyone.

I kind of had to explain this to my girlfriend on the previously mentioned trip. When we were in the swimming pool at night, she kept wanting to wrap her arms around me and give me long lingering kisses on the lips. Once at the Living Seas, she pounced on me and started to practically make-out with me (which was kinda weird, since at home and in our normal lives, my girlfriend isn't over-affectionate at all... I guess she was just that happy and in love!), and I jumped back and said, "WHOA! Okay, no!" so fast that she really got her feelings hurt. I was flattered by the show of affection, but felt horrible for pulling away like that.

I explained to her that it had nothing to do with her personally, or even with us being lesbians... Just that I know if I was trying to enjoy the Living Seas or the resort swimming pool and saw a couple all over each other, gay or straight, I would be kinda grossed out and really put-off by it. Once I explained it, she totally understood. After talking, apparently she had been hoping for more romance during the trip but instead we were mostly just having crazy fun.

So I've promised her that our upcoming Valentine's trip, we will try to incorporate more romance and sweetness into our short little trip. :)

01-20-2006, 02:45 PM
If you and your partner love each other. It shouldn't matter what other people think. If you want to hold hands, hold hands. As long as it won't put you in any sort of dangerous situation. The homophobes will just have to deal with it. You shouldn't show any less affection towards your partner just to please them.


01-20-2006, 03:24 PM
Not big on holding hands, we're much more likely to touch each other's back or shoulder -- no matter where we are. That's just us. We do "honey" a lot though ("Honey, did you see this?") and while it has resulted in a few double-takes (that I've noticed) I don't worry about it. If anyone has a problem with who I'm with, that is THEIR problem -- that is the way I live my life.

We were at WDW for Valentine's Day last year -- have a great time!!!


01-20-2006, 03:47 PM
We were at WDW for Valentine's Day last year -- have a great time!!!


Oh, really?! How was it? I usually try to go the first week of January (which is wonderful!), so I'm not quite sure what to expect regarding mid-February. I hate that it's the week leading up to President's Day, but that was when my partner scheduled her vacation from work so that we could go for Valentine's, obviously. I guess what I'm trying to ask is... How are the crowds? I know that Pres. Day weekend if the beginning of Peak season for the resorts, and I'm accustomed to going when it's really slow. We've only got 4 days, so we're trying to cram as much in as we possibly can! LOL

01-20-2006, 10:45 PM
We are big hand holders but we don't hold hands often in our city or surrounding cities, as both of us teach and we don't want to be "outed" to the parents or the kids.

We will hold hand in other cities or area's where we feel safe. We don't hold hands at Disneyland or Marine World or Great America though, SO feels that some families may not have explained same sex relationships to their children and doesn't think she should have to learn it because they saw us holding hands.

01-28-2006, 01:42 AM
I wouldn't say that we are attached at the hands, or any other body part....but I am definately very affectionate. Our youngest is very affectionate too, so a lot of the time that we were at WDW we were holding his hands. But we did kiss (peck, not make out) and rub backs while walking in lines or just browsing. I am not self concious about who I am or we are and could really care less. I am more the type of person where if someone is staring at me, I stare back :bitelip: . I also feel that the more comfortable you are in your skin, the more comfortable others will be around you. Plus life is too short to worry about what others think about you, if they want you to know I am sure they will tell you! :teeth:

01-28-2006, 09:41 AM
We do not tend to hold hands anywhere. We are more the gentle touch on the back types. We do use endearing terms when we talk to each other and have never noticed any unapproving looks, but then I really haven't tried to notice. We know our feelings for one another and do not feel we have to announce it to the world through public displays of affection. Neither of us likes to see public displays whether it be straight or gay.

01-28-2006, 11:07 AM
Gabby and I do hold hands on occasion at WDW. We call each other lots of things other than our names while we are in public, "hon" "sweetie" "babe" "sugar" to list a few. We don't generally live closeted lives. We occasionally share a quick peck kiss, even on the lips, at WDW, but it is done discreetly. We have manners about it.

Gabby is more out than I am. I work in a very successful pediatric medical office in the northern burbs of Atlanta. While all of my coworkers know that I am a lesbian, I am not always open with out patient's parents about it. Most people can look at me and know that I am a lesbian. I don't do frilly girly. lol I am who I am. If I developed a pretty good idea of who I need to avoid discussing personal details with because, this is still the south and there are lots of conservatives down here. I don't want to do anything in my work place that might cause any problems for any of the families that bring their kids into our office. Let's face it, no one wants to have to explain such matters to their kids until they feel the time is right. I don't want to force that issue. However, outside of the office, I am out. If I run into families that come to our office outside of the office, Gabby does her best to find a way to avoid them....not for my sake, but for her's. Gabby hates running into my patients. lol Maggie

02-02-2006, 11:40 AM
Great topic. My wife used to be very nervous about holding hands in public around home, but she has gotten better about it as the years have passed. She doesn't usually mind it on vacation because we don't know anybody there, unless we are somewhere that seems distinctly unfriendly. More often than not lately we just take each other's arms rather than actually holding hands, and I don't think that's quite as much a tipoff. But I sure do love it when we do!

She has gotten LOTS more comfortable with me calling her "babe" in public. She used to get nervous when I said it, but now she just answers! I don't think close friends call each other babe much, so maybe that's a hint to others but I don't know.